Chapter 94: You Touched Me p1
Knowing you shouldn’t cross the line, yet your heart does, makes you even more determined to maintain the easily controlled boundary of physical distance.
Ji Junxin’s sudden movement startled Mi Hongdou, almost making her fall. Fortunately, her hand, which had been gripping the edge of the bed, steadied her. Although her posture was now awkward, her hand, as it retreated from under the covers, instinctively clenched into a fist, trying to retain the lingering warmth.
Although that kind of touch made her feel strange, this quick clenching of her hand, trying to preserve the sensation, wasn’t the first time it had happened. In fact, it had happened several times recently.
The boundary she wanted to maintain was unconsciously crossed, and when she realized it, her first reaction wasn’t regret or self-reproach, but a lingering desire. Mi Hongdou knew that if she continued like this, she would eventually be exposed. But exposure seemed distant, so she indulged herself, just for a little while.
“You touched me?”
Just as Mi Hongdou regained her balance and composure, Ji Junxin’s voice came from the bed, close and clear.
Mi Hongdou heard the three words clearly, but she instinctively dismissed it as a hallucination!
She looked up. Ji Junxin, who had been curled up in a ball with her back turned, was now facing her, the covers pulled down to her shoulders.
Her gaze clear, with a hint of confusion, Ji Junxin looked at Mi Hongdou. Seeing her silence, she bit her lip, as if feeling wronged, and repeated, “You touched me.”
This time, it was a statement.
The words matched the movement of her lips. Mi Hongdou could no longer deny it.
Although unintentional… she had indeed touched…
Mi Hongdou’s mind went blank, and she collapsed onto the floor.
Normally, sitting down from a squatting position wouldn’t make much noise. But Mi Hongdou’s wasn’t a conscious act, it was a purely instinctive reaction, so she landed heavily, a thud echoing in the room.
Both the observer and the fallen were momentarily stunned.
Ji Junxin was the first to react. She threw back the covers, got out of bed, and reached out to Mi Hongdou. “Are you okay?”
It had been a hard fall. The dull ache in her tailbone brought Mi Hongdou back to reality.
“I’m fine…” Mi Hongdou, holding Ji Junxin’s hand and using the bed for support, slowly stood up.
She moved her legs, walked back and forth, confirming that she wasn’t injured.
Then her gaze landed on Ji Junxin’s stomach.
Perhaps because her gaze was too obvious, Ji Junxin, who had been anxiously checking on her, darted back into bed, as fast as a rabbit fleeing a cheetah.
Mi Hongdou watched as Ji Junxin’s slippers almost flew off her feet, it was quite a sight…
“I…” Mi Hongdou started.
Ji Junxin, now hiding under the covers, only her head visible, quickly interrupted, “Did you touch me just now?”
Why was she so fixated on this! Mi Hongdou thought they were past this after her fall! She nodded calmly. “Yes, I did. What’s wrong, did my hand feel too cold? Well, it’s your fault for not letting me remove that belly. I’m not responsible for you getting cold.”
Ji Junxin looked at Mi Hongdou intently, as if trying to decipher her every expression. She didn’t look away even after Mi Hongdou finished speaking.
“What’s wrong?” Mi Hongdou smiled. “If you’re afraid of getting cold, then come out and let me remove the belly. Or I won’t be so gentle next time.”
Ji Junxin searched Mi Hongdou’s face for any emotion besides amusement, but… there was none.
“Heh…” Ji Junxin lowered her eyes, her disappointment evident in the almost melancholic expression, a slightly sarcastic chuckle escaping her lips.
A person’s mood could greatly affect their demeanor. Although not always accurate, people could often sense the emotions of those close to them, at least the basic happiness, anger, sadness, and joy. Of course, if there were no obvious signs, and the person was trying to hide their feelings, it was easy to miss.
Like now, Ji Junxin’s undisguised emotions were clearly sensed by Mi Hongdou. The person in front of her, her head lowered, no longer looking at her, seemed to have lost all her energy, her entire being deflated.
“Are you… okay?” Mi Hongdou bent down, moving closer.
Ji Junxin didn’t look up. “You fell earlier, are you going to change your clothes?”
“…I should.” Mi Hongdou, remembering that her clothes were dirty, stood up and said to Ji Junxin, before going to get clean pajamas, “I’ll come back and talk to you later, don’t go anywhere.”
Ji Junxin, still curled up, didn’t respond. Mi Hongdou, glancing back repeatedly, went to the bathroom.
Ji Junxin listened to the sound of the bathroom door opening and closing, then chuckled softly, a sarcastic chuckle so bitter that even she felt the sting.
Yes, sarcastic, how could she not be? Mi Hongdou’s hand hadn’t been cold, it had been warm, and the feeling of it against her waist had been… a strange mix of comfort and discomfort. Similar to the time Mi Hongdou’s hand had touched her foot in bed, yet also different. Perhaps because that time, she hadn’t understood her own feelings, while this time, having some clarity, she wasn’t as panicked. So, she could better feel the warmth of Mi Hongdou’s palm and her own quickening heartbeat.
When Mi Hongdou touched her, Ji Junxin knew it was to untie the prosthetic belly, just like with the hot water bottle earlier, an accident. But she had suppressed her instinctive urge to tremble and pull away, staying still, hoping that this accident would last longer, the contact more prolonged.
And her efforts weren’t in vain, Mi Hongdou’s hand did linger. Mi Hongdou’s hand wasn’t particularly warm, but Ji Junxin’s body, already warm under the covers, now felt like it was burning where she was touched. To Ji Junxin, Mi Hongdou’s hand was slightly cool, a pleasant coolness against her almost sweating skin. But she soon realized that Mi Hongdou’s hand was lingering a little too long?
Wasn’t she there to untie the belly? Her waist and the straps felt very different! Ji Junxin tensed, not daring to move, clearly feeling Mi Hongdou’s hand against her waist, also motionless. Even if Mi Hongdou thought it was the strap, shouldn’t she be moving her hand, trying to untie it?
Could it be… that she also enjoyed the touch? This sudden thought made Ji Junxin’s breath catch. Could it be… that she also liked… her?
It wasn’t impossible… she was so kind to her… so kind… wasn’t it possible? Ji Junxin’s heart pounded, her breathing becoming shallow, almost suffocating.
Finally, she couldn’t stay still any longer. A slight movement, and she could breathe again. And Mi Hongdou’s slightly cool hand, following her movement, brushed against other parts of her lower back, the uncomfortable heat dissipating under her touch. If it weren’t for her racing heart, Ji Junxin would have almost sighed in contentment.
But almost as soon as she moved, Mi Hongdou’s hand quickly retreated. There were rustling sounds from the side of the bed. Ji Junxin couldn’t help but turn and look at Mi Hongdou, whose face, as she had expected, still held a hint of panic.
Do you… like me? Ji Junxin almost asked, but she stopped herself. Being too direct left no room for retreat… So, she asked something else.
Mi Hongdou’s reaction to her simple question, “You touched me?”, was to fall to the floor.
The stronger her reaction, the more certain Ji Junxin felt that Mi Hongdou had also felt something. So, after making sure Mi Hongdou wasn’t hurt, she returned to the topic of the “touch.”
However… Mi Hongdou’s answer, her attitude, and her expression, all disappointed Ji Junxin. It was a good thing she hadn’t asked the more direct question, there would be no way to retreat.
So, it was just a delusion… The lingering touch, just her own imagination, the time distorted by her own wishful thinking. The panicked expression, just her own excitement and blurry vision. Last time, when Mi Hongdou touched her foot, it had been perfectly normal, Ji Junxin thought, filled with self-deprecating sarcasm.
Falling in love with someone and then imagining that they also loved you, how delusional… Did she think Mi Hongdou, like her, would like a woman? Ji Junxin, are you crazy? Are you insane? … Haha… Along with the self-deprecation and sarcasm came a wave of despair and sadness.
Ji Junxin wanted to cry, but there were no tears. Enveloped by despair, she still managed to calmly tell Mi Hongdou to change her clothes.
Mi Hongdou went to the bathroom. Ji Junxin slowly raised her head and touched her eyes, dry… She really must be going crazy.
Ji Junxin’s mood in the bedroom was one of despair. And Mi Hongdou, in the bathroom, wasn’t feeling much better.
She could sense Ji Junxin’s earlier unhappiness, but she couldn’t figure out the reason.
Mi Hongdou frowned, took off her pajamas, and threw them into the laundry basket, which also contained their clothes from today. Looking at the half-full basket, she suddenly had a realization. This unhappiness wasn’t new.
Since their meeting, the usually cheerful Ji Junxin, easily appeased with food, when had she stopped being so carefree and happy? Mi Hongdou slowly put on her clean pajamas, her mind racing.
It seemed to have started when Ji Junxin started wearing the prosthetic belly day and night. She had occasionally sensed a faint… sadness? But because it was so fleeting, and Ji Junxin’s “pregnancy” symptoms were so much more prominent, the bigger anomaly had overshadowed the smaller one. Mi Hongdou had subconsciously sensed it, but hadn’t paid much attention.
Ji Junxin’s undisguised unhappiness earlier, more prominent than her acting, made Mi Hongdou finally confront this subconscious observation.
So, the more important question was… why was Ji Junxin unhappy?
Mi Hongdou’s first thought was “prenatal depression.” As soon as she thought it, she tapped her forehead. Was she also being affected by the fake pregnancy? It was a prosthetic belly, how could there be prenatal depression!
The throbbing in her forehead hadn’t subsided when another thought occurred to her. If the immersion was deep enough… it wasn’t impossible, right?
Regardless, this day and night wearing of the prosthetic belly had to stop. Even if it was to make her performance more realistic, it couldn’t continue…
Mi Hongdou, changed into her pajamas, returned to the bedroom, ready to persuade Ji Junxin. She saw Ji Junxin sitting up in bed, leaning against the pillows, her head lowered, her hand gently stroking the prosthetic belly under the covers.
It would be such a heartwarming scene if she were really pregnant. Mi Hongdou hesitated at the door, then quickly walked over to Ji Junxin’s bed.
“This can’t continue.” Mi Hongdou bent down and held Ji Junxin’s wrist. “You’re just acting pregnant, not really pregnant. But you’re clearly too immersed. During filming, it’s understandable, but you have to detach after filming. Let’s take it off, okay? Your portrayal of a pregnant woman is already perfect, you don’t need to wear it at night. We can talk to Director Pan tomorrow, I’m sure he’ll agree.”
Mi Hongdou spoke earnestly, and Ji Junxin, without interrupting, just looked at her wrist, which was being held by Mi Hongdou.
Seeing her silence, Mi Hongdou assumed she agreed.
“Should I help you?” she asked softly. Ji Junxin still didn’t answer.
So Mi Hongdou hesitated, released Ji Junxin’s hand, and was about to untie the belly. But before she could reach her, Ji Junxin brushed her hand away.
“I admit that wearing the prosthetic belly helps me get into character. But I don’t think I’m too immersed.” Ji Junxin’s gaze was unusually cold. “You told me that as long as I remember the things I love and care about the most in real life, even when immersed in a role, I can use that attachment to detach, right? So, let me continue experiencing this feeling of pregnancy, I can detach after we finish these scenes.”
Yes, she had said that, shortly after they met in this life. Mi Hongdou hadn’t expected her own words to come back and bite her.
“That’s just my personal experience, it doesn’t apply to everyone,” she explained, enduring the metaphorical pain.
“It applies to me,” Ji Junxin said, her expression unchanged. “So, don’t worry.”
Mi Hongdou sensed something was off. “You’ve successfully used this method before? The person you thought of… who was it?” She suddenly wanted to know who Ji Junxin’s most cherished person was! Family? Friends? Or food? … Mi Hongdou hoped it was food, so she could accept it without feeling jealous.
Leave a Reply to Saik Cancel reply