77 The Center of My Heart
The day of the cultural festival.
It was mid-July, right around the time when the rainy season usually ends, and thankfully, the weather was good.
Each class was setting up for their respective projects.
I was organizing the food ingredients for our maid cafe.
“Hey, Suzuna-san.”
“Hmm?”
I turned around when Riri-chan called out to me.
“…Oh!”
“So? How do I look?”
Riri-chan was in her maid outfit.
A black, long-sleeved dress with a white apron, both adorned with frills.
With the long skirt, it was a classic maid look.
A safe choice for a dating sim.
“It suits you. You look cute.”
“O-Oh… really? I didn’t expect you to say that so directly.”
She asked for my opinion, and yet she’s embarrassed after being complimented.
“Yeah, everyone will come to see you, Riri-chan.”
“Well… I wonder…”
“They definitely will.”
Even though she’s beautiful, Riri-chan usually has a strong, gal-like appearance.
The cuteness of the maid outfit softens her image, making her look just the right amount of cute.
“But doesn’t this… frilly stuff… not suit me?”
“No, the long skirt gives it a mature look, so it’s not too cutesy.”
I think a miniskirt would also suit her, though.
“Seriously? But it’s hard to move in… and it’s hot.”
Apparently, Riri-chan feels restricted if her legs are covered.
“It must be tough, but do your best.”
“You too, Suzuna.”
The maids serving customers will probably have the hardest time, especially Riri-chan, who’ll be the center of attention…
“Yeah.”
But I was happy that she told me, “Let’s do our best together.”
◇◇◇
Once the cafe opened and customers started pouring in, I had almost nothing to do.
Since I’m not involved in the actual cooking, I only had minor tasks like restocking ingredients.
So I had time to observe the maid cafe.
“What can I get for you?”
Riri-chan was serving customers with a smile.
The cafe was more popular than expected, completely full.
The customers, both male and female, looked curiously at the maids, and Riri-chan was the most popular among them.
“That girl is super cute, isn’t she?”
“That’s Hinase Riri. Apparently, she doesn’t have a boyfriend.”
“No way.”
“Maybe she’s hiding it.”
I overheard the whispers of my classmates and students from other schools.
It’s natural for her to be the subject of rumors and attention.
But I still didn’t like the sight.
I felt a burning sensation in the pit of my stomach.
If this continues, I might do something I’ll regret.
“Amatsuki-san?”
“Ah, yes?”
The cooking team leader called out to me.
“We’re selling more than expected… and we’re running low on ingredients.”
“That’s a problem.”
The Riri-chan effect is powerful.
“I’m sorry to ask, but could you go get more ingredients? The others are busy cooking.”
We were originally planning to restock the ingredients after lunch.
At this rate, we’ll sell out before then.
“Yeah, sure. That’s my job.”
But it was good timing.
I can’t handle this atmosphere right now.
The ingredients are stored in the home economics room.
Maybe I can calm down a bit if I get out of here.
I quickly left the classroom.
◇◇◇
“…There we go.”
I packed the ingredients from the home economics room into a bag.
All I had to do was return to the classroom, but I wanted to take a detour.
The hallway was crowded with people.
The atmosphere was completely different from the usual school atmosphere, a festive buzz.
“Let’s check out that one next.”
“Yeah, okay.”
There were even couples walking around.
…I wonder if there are people who want to walk around like this with Riri-chan.
That thought made my chest tighten.
This is strange.
It’s such a natural thing.
It’s normal for Riri-chan to date someone, and there’s even a possibility that she’ll date Shindo-kun.
I knew that from the beginning, but it’s strange that just imagining it makes me so restless.
“You two, you’re too close. Please maintain a proper distance.”
“Yes, sir, sorry.”
“Sorry…”
Kanaori Reika, frowning, was patrolling the hallway.
“Seriously, people lose all sense of decency during the cultural festival… oh, it’s Amatsuki-san.”
“Hello.”
It was probably unusual to see someone walking around alone carrying ingredients when most people were in groups.
Kanaori-san noticed me right away and called out.
“Are you helping with your class’s project?”
“Ah, yes. We’re running low on ingredients… Are you on patrol, Kanaori-san?”
“Yes. Events like these are when order tends to break down. I have to keep an eye on things.”
Kanaori-san seemed even busier than usual.
“There are a lot of couples walking around.”
“A lot of people start dating during events like these. I don’t mind that, but they should still maintain proper decorum in public.”
“That’s true…”
The number of couples will definitely increase.
The thought I was trying to avoid crept back into my mind.
Riri-chan might also start dating someone during this event.
“Apparently, some people start dating just because of the atmosphere, so I don’t think it’s a very good trend.”
“The atmosphere…?”
Someone will probably confess to Riri-chan, just like during the sports festival.
Maybe the person she likes will be among them.
And even if not, Riri-chan is also human, so she might get caught up in the atmosphere.
What should I do if that happens…?
“What’s wrong? You look pale.”
“Ah, um…”
I don’t know how to sort out these feelings.
I just feel increasingly uneasy and nauseous.
“Is something bothering you?”
Kanaori-san looked at me with concern.
Maybe I can talk to her.
“Um, I have a close friend. And just thinking about her being confessed to, or starting to date someone, makes me feel sick. What do you think this is?”
“So you don’t want her to be… taken away by someone else?”
“Ah, yes… I think so.”
“Then it’s jealousy.”
“Ah, I see…”
I’ve been told that before.
Jealousy is a feeling you have towards someone you care about.
In my case, it’s jealousy because I don’t want my friend, Riri-chan, to be taken away.
“You like her, don’t you?”
“Eh, yes…”
“Then you have no choice but to… claim her yourself, before she’s taken away.”
“Claim her…?”
What does it even mean to “claim” a friend?
“You have to confess to her before someone else takes her away.”
“…Confess.”
That kind of “like” isn’t friendship.
“Yes, you… yearn for her, don’t you?”
“…Is that how it sounded?”
“That’s the only way it sounded.”
…So that’s how it sounds.
“Ah, but I’m not saying you should definitely pursue a relationship. A student’s main duty is to study.”
“Y-Yeah, of course. It would be surprising if you said that, Kanaori-san.”
Kanaori-san’s gaze suddenly sharpened.
“Excuse me, Amatsuki-san, there are some people I can’t overlook. I’ll have to excuse myself. —You there, what do you think this place is…?”
Kanaori-san went off to maintain order.
I headed towards the classroom.
…Romantic feelings.
That’s how it seemed to Kanaori-san.
Is that really what this is?
Does this jealousy stem from those kinds of feelings?
If so…
◇◇◇
“I feel bad for forcing you to help me.”
“It’s fine.”
Near the classroom, I saw something I didn’t want to see.
Riri-chan and an unfamiliar boy were walking side-by-side.
They seemed to be heading somewhere.
My heart pounded in my chest like never before.
A confession?
Is that the person Riri-chan likes?
I don’t know, I don’t know, but I don’t like this.
I couldn’t deny the unsettling feeling, no matter how much I tried to deceive myself.
“Then you have no choice but to claim her yourself, before she’s taken away.”
Kanaori-san’s words echoed strongly in my mind.
Maybe I can’t keep pretending not to see anymore.
“H-Hey…!”
I stepped between them.
“S-Suzuna? You were here?”
Riri-chan’s eyes widened in surprise, as if she hadn’t expected to see me.
“Just come with me.”
“E-Eh…?”
I grabbed Riri-chan’s arm and pulled her along.
“H-Hey, wait! What’s the meaning of this?! Hey, you, who is—”
As expected, it was a boy who wouldn’t just let it go.
He reached out to Riri-chan, but I pulled her closer before he could touch her.
“Don’t touch her. She’s mine.”
“Huh…?”
The boy’s mouth dropped open, confused.
That’s fine.
“Let’s go, Riri-chan.”
“Eh, where…?”
I led Riri-chan away, not even returning to the classroom.
78 Stay By My Side
“Suzuna, Suzuna, hey, Suzuna.”
I ignored Riri-chan’s voice and kept walking.
It’s conspicuous to be walking around with a beautiful girl in a maid outfit, but I don’t care.
As I walked further and further into the back of the school, the number of people gradually dwindled.
I opened the door to an unused music room.
“Come in.”
Riri-chan looked bewildered.
“Why?”
“I need to talk to you.”
“What about the maid cafe?”
Riri-chan tilted her head, fiddling with her skirt.
She looked cute, but this wasn’t the time for that.
“It’s fine for now.”
“O-Okay.”
I practically dragged her inside.
The music room was slightly cooler than the other rooms, perhaps because it was dimly lit.
Riri-chan, who entered first, turned around.
Her skirt swirled, a picturesque scene.
“So what’s wrong? I can’t talk for long; I don’t want to cause trouble for everyone.”
“…”
So the maid cafe is more important to her.
Being fawned over by everyone is more important than me.
“It’s fine, there are other maids.”
“That’s not the point. They’re busy and short-handed.”
That’s strange.
Riri-chan was about to go somewhere with that boy earlier.
That boy is okay, but I’m not?
She usually prioritizes me.
“It’s fine, just listen to me now.”
“Okay, okay, I will. But make it quick.”
“That last part was unnecessary.”
“What was?”
“Saying ‘make it quick’ makes me not want to talk.”
Riri-chan sighed.
“Suzuna, you’re being selfish. You have to do your job.”
“What about me?”
“I’m listening to you right now, aren’t I?”
“…”
That’s true, but that’s not what I mean.
I want her to listen to me properly.
“Is it something you’re hesitant to talk about? Then I’ll listen properly later when we have free time. Until then, okay?”
Did she think she could appease me with that?
Riri-chan walked past me, about to leave the music room.
That’s not okay.
I grabbed her shoulder and made her turn around.
“Suzuna?”
“Don’t go.”
“…I said I’ll listen to you later.”
“No.”
No, no, no.
I don’t want to see Riri-chan being fawned over by other people again.
I want her to be only mine.
So I don’t want to let her go.
“What’s wrong, Suzuna? This isn’t like you.”
“What’s ‘like me’?”
“You’re usually more… reasonable.”
“I’m not.”
Especially when it comes to Riri-chan.
“I can’t listen to you this time, Suzuna. It’ll cause trouble for other people.”
No.
If Riri-chan is seen by other people again, I won’t be able to handle it.
Then, at least…
I pulled Riri-chan closer.
“H-Hey, Suzuna! That’s dangerous… what are you doing?”
“I’m going to bite you.”
At least, I have to leave my mark on her.
I can’t stand it otherwise.
I reached for Riri-chan’s chest.
“Eh?!”
But I couldn’t.
Riri-chan isn’t wearing a blouse today.
She’s wearing a dress that’s buttoned all the way up.
“S-See? There’s no point in doing that. Just give up…”
But there’s no rule that says I have to bite her chest.
I knelt on the floor.
There was a black skirt in front of me, and I lifted it.
Her white thighs were revealed.
“H-Hey, Suzuna! What are you doing?!”
“What do you mean? It’s obvious, isn’t it?”
“Why are you lifting my skirt and looking at my legs?!”
“…Are you… embarrassed?”
Riri-chan is saying strange things.
I only lifted it to her thighs.
“You always show this much.”
“That’s different…”
I don’t understand.
I ignored Riri-chan and touched her thigh.
Her skin was slightly damp with sweat, and my fingers clung to it.
“H-Hey, Suzuna, what are you going to…?”
I didn’t reply, knowing she’d try to stop me.
I brought my lips closer to Riri-chan’s leg.
My lips touched the inside of her thigh, and then I bit down.
A soft, yielding sensation transmitted through my teeth.
I bit harder.
“O-Ouch…”
Serves you right.
You wouldn’t listen to me, and you were about to go to the maid cafe.
Riri-chan should just listen to me.
I should leave my mark on her like this.
“Stop it…”
Riri-chan pushed my head, and I lost my balance.
“…Ah.”
—Thud
I fell backwards, and a jolt of pain shot through my back.
The pain subsided quickly, but it made a loud noise.
“S-Sorry, Suzuna! Are you okay…?”
She probably didn’t mean to push me down.
Maybe she was worried that I was hurt because of the loud noise.
Riri-chan rushed over and offered me her hand.
“I’m fine.”
I swatted her hand away and sat up.
“Suzuna…”
Riri-chan’s face was contorted with guilt.
“If you want me to forgive you, listen to me.”
“What do you want me to do?”
Her voice sounded like she might actually listen, perhaps out of guilt.
“Stay here. Don’t leave me.”
“Then what about the maid cafe…?”
“It’s fine, let’s skip it.”
“But you have work to do, Suzuna.”
Riri-chan pointed at the bag of ingredients on the floor.
“I don’t care about that.”
I tossed it aside.
“You’re being strange, Suzuna.”
“Is it bad to be strange?”
Whose fault is that?
“That doesn’t make sense, there’s no need to do that.”
“There is. I don’t want you to leave, Riri-chan, so stay here.”
“There’s no point in staying here. We can be together later.”
“No. If you go outside, other people will see you, and you’ll interact with them. I don’t want to see that anymore.”
“What… do you mean?”
Riri-chan looked at me with genuine confusion.
“Exactly what I said. I don’t want to see you being fawned over by other people.”
“Why… do you think that?”
The reason I think that.
Riri-chan wants to know.
But that’s the hardest thing to explain, and it’s something I don’t fully understand myself.
This feeling, stemming from jealousy, is built upon a more fundamental emotion.
If I acknowledge and verbalize it, our relationship might change irrevocably.
That scares me.
I don’t know what I’d do in a world without Riri-chan.
I didn’t mind being alone at first. I didn’t care about loneliness.
It’s because Riri-chan taught me about… being together, about friendship, that I’ve become like this.
“Take responsibility.”
“Responsibility for what?”
“You said you’d teach me.”
“Teach you what?”
“You said you’d teach me about romantic feelings.”
“Eh…”
My heart started pounding.
My blood rushed, and my face felt hot.
But my fingers and toes were ice-cold, and my head was spinning.
This doesn’t make sense.
I’m trying to be honest with myself, but my body is rejecting it.
“Isn’t this… what it is…?”
“Suzuna…”
“I try to ignore it when you’re getting along with other people, but I can’t, and it makes me incredibly frustrated.”
“…”
“But when I’m with you like this, even just talking to you makes me feel calm. I was so irritated with you just now, but when you’re here, it’s like a switch flips, and I’m back to normal.”
A cycle of reassurance and anxiety.
It doesn’t make sense.
An endless loop of feeling at ease when Riri-chan is with me and anxious when she’s not.
I’ll be crushed by anxiety if you’re not by my side.
“It’s your fault for making me so unstable. So take responsibility.”
“So that means…”
I’m not good at understanding my own emotions, but…
I think this is what it means to be constantly thinking about Riri-chan.
“This is… what it means to… like someone, right?”
“…!”
Riri-chan was speechless.
Afraid of her response, I continued, my words tumbling out.
“This is the feeling you taught me, Riri-chan. So teach me… what to do next…”
My chest tightened, and it was hard to breathe.
Why is it so painful just to say what I’m thinking?
It was so painful that tears started streaming down my face, even though I didn’t understand why.
“Hey, what should I do? How can I feel better? I wish I hadn’t learned this if it’s going to make me feel this way.”
That’s why I’m so messed up about Tachibana-san, Shindo-kun, the confession, the maid cafe, everything.
I didn’t want to become like this.
“Stay by my side.”
“Suzuna…”
But if that’s not possible.
If Riri-chan has someone else she likes…
“If it’s this painful, I should have just stayed alo—”
My words were cut off.
Because Riri-chan’s lips covered mine.
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