57 Putting Feelings Into Words
The study session ended inconclusively.
I did get some studying done, being surrounded by smart people, but the main objective—advancing the story between Shindo-kun and the heroines—didn’t progress.
I walked home with Riri-chan, feeling unproductive.
“Hey, Suzuna. I think today’s study session was a bit… awkward.”
“…Sorry.”
Riri-chan had Kanaori Reika, whom she doesn’t get along with, sitting next to her.
Kokona-chan was in front of her, and I was diagonally across, so it must have been uncomfortable for her.
I felt bad since she wanted to study with me.
“If you’re sorry, then let’s continue.”
“Continue?”
Does she mean continue studying?
“But it’s already pretty dark, isn’t it?”
It was past six o’clock, and the sun was starting to set.
“We both live alone, so it’s not a problem, right?”
“Well… that’s true.”
And it wasn’t a bad suggestion, since I could spend more time with Riri-chan.
“Where are we going to study?”
“We can go to my house.”
“Your house…”
I’ve only been to Riri-chan’s house once.
That one time was so intense that I could feel my face heating up.
“Suzuna, are you thinking of something naughty?”
Riri-chan grinned.
It was as if she read my mind, and my voice involuntarily went up an octave.
“O-Of course not!”
“I see. So, is it okay?”
Riri-chan grabbed my wrist.
I didn’t have any particular reason to resist.
“Yeah, it’s fine.”
“Great, then it’s settled.”
As always, Riri-chan walked ahead of me.
◇◇◇
The second time in Riri-chan’s room.
It was exactly the same as before, of course.
A flashy room with black, white, and pink everywhere.
“Make yourself at home, Suzuna. Pretend it’s your room.”
“Ah, okay…”
I wasn’t just being influenced by her words, but I felt much more comfortable.
Maybe it’s because I’ve been here once before, or maybe it’s because I’ve opened up to Riri-chan.
It’s probably both, but it didn’t feel like someone else’s room anymore.
Honestly, I was also… happy.
“This blazer is so stuffy.”
Riri-chan hung her blazer on a hanger and was left in just her blouse.
I won’t make the same mistake twice.
Last time, I sat facing the bed and accidentally saw up Riri-chan’s skirt.
So today, I sat on the carpet with the bed as my backrest.
This way, I won’t see anything even if she’s careless.
“Suzuna-san, are you… being self-conscious?”
Riri-chan was teasing me, pretending not to understand even though she knew.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Is that so…? Fufu.”
Riri-chan giggled and walked behind me.
—Creak
The bed creaked.
Riri-chan really likes sitting on the bed, it seems.
“Suzuna… is there really nothing wrong?”
“What do you mean?”
“About today.”
Her tone was a little dramatic.
Riri-chan still seems unconvinced about something.
“I can kind of tell that you don’t see Shindo Minato romantically anymore, Suzuna.”
“Ah, is that so…”
Riri-chan kept glancing at me during our study session. She must have been observing me.
“But you’re still… conscious of him, aren’t you?”
“I… wonder…”
I gave a vague answer, neither confirming nor denying.
“Yeah, definitely. You seem to be interacting with him… intentionally.”
Riri-chan’s words seemed to shift from questioning to conviction.
“It’s just your imagination.”
“If that were true, there’s no way you’d go to such lengths just because he asked you to help him study, Suzuna. Even I know that.”
She probably finds it strange that I, who avoids interacting with people, would take the initiative like that.
It’s impossible to hide that from Riri-chan, who knows me so well.
“There’s a reason, isn’t there?”
“…It’s just your imagination.”
I can’t tell her it’s because this is the world of a dating sim.
It would be a relief to tell her, but…
She’d just think I’m crazy.
I don’t want Riri-chan to think I’m strange.
“So you’re not going to tell me.”
“Because there’s no reason! I just helped him because he asked. And it would be weird to study alone with Shindo-kun.”
“But that group was also weird.”
“Is that so?”
“Definitely. I can’t help but think there’s another reason, Suzuna.”
Riri-chan is sharp at times like these, so it’s hard to deceive her.
“…”
“I won’t force you to tell me if you don’t want to. But it’s also… awkward to be presented with such obvious lies.”
I didn’t know how to respond to those words and fell silent.
Will there ever be a day when I can tell her?
I’d be happy if that day came, and Riri-chan believed me.
But I don’t have the courage yet.
“What about you, Riri-chan? Why do you hate it so much when Shindo-kun and I interact? You know I don’t like him anymore, so there’s no need to be so bothered, right?”
Even Riri-chan interacts with lots of people, like Tachibana-san and her other friends.
Compared to that, I only occasionally interact with my only childhood friend.
Even if he’s a boy, I don’t think it’s something to be so concerned about, especially since she knows I don’t like him.
“…Why do you think?”
“Don’t answer my question with a question.”
“…”
Riri-chan didn’t reply.
—Creak
Instead, the bed creaked again.
At the same time, a sweet fragrance wafted through the air.
I wondered what it was, and then I felt slender arms wrap around my neck.
Riri-chan was hugging me from behind.
“R-Riri-chan…?!”
I was startled by the suddenness of it.
She’s kissed my cheek and licked my neck before, but…
She’s never embraced me so suddenly and without context.
“…You want to know why I’m so fixated on Shindo, don’t you?”
Riri-chan asked in a calm voice, ignoring my flustered state.
I feel stupid for being the only one whose heart is racing.
I’ll act calm too.
“Y-Yeah, I want to know if there’s a reason.”
“It’s because—”
Riri-chan’s warm breath tickled my ear.
“—I like you.”
She whispered.
“…Eh?”
That word completely blew away my thoughts about being hugged and her breath on my ear.
My heart leaped, making everything else insignificant.
58 Unstoppable
Eh, what did Riri-chan just say…?
Did she say “because I like you”?
I did hear that she had someone she liked…
Could it be… that—
“So, what do you think…?”
Riri-chan’s voice and breath tickled my ear.
“Wh-What do you mean…?”
“If I said I’m interfering with you and Shindo because I like you, would that be a valid reason?”
“H-Huh?!”
It is a valid reason, it is, but…
That means she seriously likes me, right?
Not as a friend, but as a… lover…
“Am I saying something strange?”
“Y-Yes, you are! Because the person you’re supposed to like, Riri-chan, is—”
Wait.
Who did Riri-chan say she likes?
From the flow of the conversation, it could be either me or Shindo-kun.
Either way, it would be a valid reason for her to interfere.
“The person I’m ‘supposed to like’… what?”
“Uh, ah, well…”
But what should I do?
Even if I confirm the answer, what then—
If she likes Shindo-kun?
If she likes me?
Could I accept either answer?
“…Fufu.”
Riri-chan giggled, oblivious to my panicked state.
Was there something funny…?
“Just kidding. Did I surprise you?”
“…Just kidding?”
“Yeah, it was a hypothetical. I was wondering what you’d do, Suzuna, if that was the reason.”
“…A hypothetical.”
I repeated her words like a parrot.
“But you didn’t really say anything, and that surprised me. I thought you’d react more.”
Riri-chan’s arms unwrapped from around my neck.
My hair swayed slightly as she stood up.
She walked towards the door.
“Sorry for making you uncomfortable. It wasn’t a very funny joke. I’ll go make some tea and snacks.”
Riri-chan opened the door, about to head to the living room.
“W-Wait.”
I called out to her.
“What?”
Riri-chan didn’t turn around.
“About that hypothetical… who did you mean…?”
“Who do you mean?”
Riri-chan is teasing me, even though she knows what I’m asking.
“Me or Shindo-kun? Who did you say you liked?”
I’m curious.
What was she thinking, what was she feeling when she brought up that hypothetical?
Even if it was a joke, I wanted to know the root of those feelings.
“Which one did you think, Suzuna?”
“Eh…”
But Riri-chan wouldn’t answer directly.
She asked me a question instead.
And it wasn’t just any question; it was a difficult one to answer.
“I asked you first.”
“But I was the one who brought it up, so if you want to know, you have to tell me first, Suzuna.”
That’s not fair.
Riri-chan’s way of speaking is unfair.
Trying to get me to reveal my feelings first like that.
She did the same thing before and didn’t answer my question properly.
“Which one did you want me to say, Suzuna?”
I don’t know.
We weren’t talking about that.
I just wanted to hear what Riri-chan had to say.
“I don’t really know…”
“…I see.”
Riri-chan replied weakly to my vague answer.
She seemed to relax and turned around.
Her expression was her usual casual smile.
“Well, either way, it was just a joke, right?”
She laughed it off, as if it wasn’t a big deal.
She created an atmosphere as if it was just a casual remark, an extension of our everyday conversation.
“I’ll go make some tea and snacks. Ah, or do you want something else to drink?”
“…Anything is fine.”
“Okay.”
Riri-chan left the room.
She acted like it was nothing, as if she wasn’t bothered at all.
I was left alone in the room.
“…A joke, huh?”
But a part of me was annoyed that she was dismissing it as a joke.
Was I… expecting something?
Was I hoping for a confession, that she was interfering with Shindo-kun and me because she liked me?
What would happen if that were true?
Could I reciprocate those feelings?
Even questioning myself only highlighted the vague emotions swirling within me.
“Sorry to keep you waiting. I made tea after all. I don’t have much in the way of snacks, though.”
Then what if Riri-chan likes Shindo-kun?
Then I can avoid the bad ending with Shindo-kun.
That should be a good thing.
I’d spend less time with Riri-chan, but I could avoid the future I dread the most.
“Hey, are you listening?”
But I’m still not convinced.
I tried to deceive myself, but it’s impossible.
I don’t think Riri-chan would end up with Shindo-kun.
I don’t want to see that future either.
“Hey, Suzuna.”
“Wh-What?”
Riri-chan’s face was suddenly next to mine.
She had crawled over to me on all fours and was peering at my face.
Her loose neckline revealed a glimpse of her chest because of her unguarded posture.
Not again, I thought, and quickly averted my gaze.
“Why do you have that troubled look on your face?”
Riri-chan, seeing my reaction, slightly misunderstood.
“…I don’t.”
“You did. Are you still bothered by what I said earlier?”
Please don’t act like it’s nothing when you were the one who brought it up.
“No, I’m not bothered.”
“It was just a common joke.”
Maybe that kind of joke is common.
But I don’t find it funny.
It felt like Riri-chan was pulling away, and I didn’t like it.
“Hey, Suzuna, I’m sorry.”
Seeing my silence, Riri-chan apologized apologetically.
“…Do you want me to forgive you?”
I asked, still looking away.
“Yeah. You seem upset, Suzuna.”
Of course I am; Riri-chan is the reason.
Just because it was a joke doesn’t mean she can say anything.
So I—
“Then take it off.”
“…Eh?”
Now it was Riri-chan’s turn to be surprised.
I turned my gaze back to Riri-chan.
“I said, take it off.”
“Eh, w-wait, Suzuna…?!”
I pushed Riri-chan down.
Straddling her, I looked down. Her open shirt revealed her chest.
This is annoying… her unguarded appearance, the way she’s messing with my emotions…
I felt like I was losing control of my suppressed feelings.
“S-Suzuna, what is this?”
What is this?
I want to know!
Riri-chan is the one who messed with my emotions, so she should take responsibility.
So I should be able to do whatever I want to Riri-chan.
“You want me to forgive you, right? Then be quiet.”
“B-But…”
Even as she protested, Riri-chan didn’t resist seriously.
So I reached for the buttons of her blouse.
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