18 Appearance and Heart
“Hey, Suzuna. Um… those pigtails… do you have any particular reason for wearing them?”
After school.
I was walking home alone, stiffening against the chilly evening wind, when Riri-chan caught up to me.
Resigned, I walked with her, and she suddenly said those words.
“No, not really…”
“Hmm… I thought there was some reason.”
Hair is an important element for girls.
It shapes their appearance, and they take care in how they style it.
That’s true for both the individual and for others.
So, Riri-chan bringing it up means she has something to say.
Especially since I haven’t changed my hair color or style.
“Is it… strange…?”
“It’s not strange, but… I was just wondering if you ever change it up.”
Well… it’s something a fashionable girl like Riri-chan would be curious about.
Amatsuki Suzuna’s hairstyle isn’t trendy or anything.
Her black bangs are heavy, completely covering her forehead.
Her tightly braided pigtails fall onto her shoulders.
She looks like an old Japanese doll.
“But I’ve always worn it like this.”
That’s the kind of character Amatsuki Suzuna is.
She doesn’t care about her appearance or what others think.
A pure-hearted, somewhat twisted girl who only wants to be by Shindo Minato’s side.
I can’t agree with everything about her, but I can relate to her indifference towards her appearance.
That’s why I haven’t felt any discomfort continuing with this look, and the pigtails have become a habit, not something I find bothersome.
“But you said you don’t have any particular attachment to it, right?”
“Well… yeah.”
“Then why don’t you change your hairstyle sometimes? Pigtails are fine, but I think changing things up would be cute.”
Riri-chan is kind.
She’s trying to offer helpful advice without criticizing my unremarkable appearance.
I understand that.
But…
“It’s fine. There’s no point in me becoming cuter.”
I don’t think I can become cuter anyway.
But even if I believed Riri-chan’s words…
There’s no point in me improving my appearance.
I’m a character no one is interested in, and the only one who pays attention to me is my childhood friend, Shindo Minato.
What would happen if I improved my appearance and made a good impression on him?
The risk of increasing his affection value would only go up.
See, there’s no point in me trying to look better.
So it’s fine the way it is.
“Eh? That’s not true. You can become much cuter, Suzuna.”
“…I’m saying there’s no point even if I do.”
“Do you need a reason to become cuter?”
Riri-chan looked surprised, as if I’d said something revolutionary.
Well, a girl who genuinely pursues fashion wouldn’t even consider such a question…
“I need a reason. There’s no one to show it off to.”
Change is stressful in itself.
Doing something different requires a certain level of resolve.
Since I don’t see the point, I can’t bring myself to do it.
“So you’re saying it would be fine if there was someone to show it off to?”
“…If there was… such a person.”
And since that person is Shindo Minato, it’s no good.
It’s definitely better not to do it.
“There is, right here.”
“…Huh?”
Riri-chan pointed at herself, grinning.
“I’ll look at you.”
“…No, what’s that supposed to mean?”
“I’ll be happy if you become cuter, Suzuna.”
She flapped her arms as if saying “Yay!”
She was strangely excited, I don’t know what she finds so amusing.
“That doesn’t make sense. I’m… trash compared to you, Riri-chan.”
Hinase Riri, the beautiful girl with a great figure who always takes care of herself.
And she’s always surrounded by other glamorous girls.
What would Riri-chan find enjoyable about watching an introvert like me change?
“Don’t say that. You have good qualities, Suzuna.”
Riri-chan scolded me gently.
I wonder what motivates her so much.
“I’m not interested in fashion or anything.”
“Eh, then I’ll do it for you! Should I teach you some things?”
Riri-chan’s fingers started moving restlessly.
It somehow seemed like a suggestive gesture, and I instinctively tensed up.
“I-It’s… unnecessary.”
“Why? You’ve just never tried it before. It might be fun if you do.”
“That’s because you’re cute, Riri-chan.”
A cute girl puts in effort to become more beautiful and cute.
And then she gets showered with attention, so of course it’s fun.
But that’s because she already has the potential.
Anything multiplied by zero is still zero.
“Ehehe… don’t flatter me so suddenly, Suzuna. I’m getting embarrassed.”
“You’re used to it.”
I didn’t understand why Riri-chan was happily touching her cheek.
She must have heard this kind of thing from countless people.
“Hmm? Well… some people say that, but it doesn’t make me happy no matter who says it.”
“…Is that so?”
“Yeah, well, some of my friends say it too, but we compliment each other, so I feel like some of it is flattery. Not that it’s a bad thing.”
“But boys must say it to you too, Riri-chan.”
“Well… sometimes. But… how should I put it? I think I come across as… frivolous, so I don’t think many people mean it sincerely…”
Ah… well, Hinase Riri looks like a gal, and her cheerful demeanor could be seen as frivolous, to put it negatively.
There are probably a lot of men who are only interested in her physically.
Come to think of it, my encounter with her also started with something like that.
“Is it tough being a popular girl?”
“I know it might sound like I’m bragging and be annoying, but… I’m not particularly happy about it. I dress like this because I like it, not because I want to be seen that way.”
That felt like a glimpse into a side of Riri-chan I’d never seen before.
I felt like she was showing me a part of herself that was empty and vulnerable.
“…Even you have things you don’t like, Riri-chan.”
“Of course. What do you take me for?”
“…A super positive girl.”
“What’s that?”
Well, I thought social butterflies didn’t have any worries.
I thought, “Sorry for the prejudice,” but I couldn’t say it out loud.
“Anyway, I’m really happy when you compliment me, Suzuna.”
Riri-chan hugged my arm, as if cheering.
“Ah, wait, don’t cling to me…”
“I can’t help but express my feelings!”
Why is her way of expressing herself physical contact…? It’s too direct.
“And that doesn’t explain why you’re happy when I say it…”
I understand why other people’s words don’t reach her.
But that doesn’t explain why my words do.
“Silly. I’m happy just because you said it, Suzuna.”
“…What? Just because it’s me?”
“That’s enough.”
What’s that supposed to mean?
It’s a reason, but it’s not.
And yet, Riri-chan says that’s enough.
“…What if I’m just flattering you?”
“No, I know. You’re telling the truth, Suzuna.”
She seemed absolutely confident for some reason.
“…Are you a psychic?”
“Only for you, Suzuna.”
Only for me, again…
But if she’s happy with my words, then that’s a good thing.
Riri-chan, beaming, rested her head on my shoulder.
Well… we’re not at school.
I’ll just… enjoy Riri-chan’s warmth.
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