12 Distance of the Heart
Exchanging contact information, spending time after school together.
Not only that, but calling each other by our first names.
That’s what Hinase-san calls “friend distance.”
That might be true, but…
“Calling each other by our first names…?”
“Yeah, that’s natural, right?”
Me calling Hinase-san “Riri…”
Just imagining it felt strange.
It seemed too familiar, too presumptuous.
“I don’t mind if you call me by my first name, Hinase-san…”
“You won’t call me Riri?”
Without missing a beat, Hinase-san called me by my first name.
It was just that, yet it felt like the distance between us suddenly changed.
But that distance felt uncomfortable.
Too close, like how Hinase-san was pressing close to me now.
“I… I feel like it’s a bit different…”
“What’s different?”
It’s one thing if she initiates it, but it’s different if I have to do it.
“I… feel resistant to calling you by your first name, Hinase-san. Like we’re not that close yet…”
“Making lunch for your childhood friend is way more intimate than that. Compared to that, calling each other by our first names as friends is normal.”
Hinase-san kept bringing up Shindo-kun.
That’s also when her demeanor changed.
I don’t understand.
Where’s the casual consultation she promised? This is different.
“Come on, say it. It’s one-sided if it’s just me.”
Hinase-san’s arm reached past my face and planted her hand on the wall.
It was as if I was trapped by her.
It felt suffocating, like my freedom was being taken away.
“Why are you so insistent? I think it’s fine to call each other whatever’s easiest.”
“If I leave you alone, Suzuna, you’ll stay like that forever, right? That’s why I’m trying to get closer.”
“I don’t understand… I don’t think you need to try so hard to get closer.”
“You know, distance doesn’t shrink unless you take a step forward yourself.”
Hinase-san said something that seemed obvious, yet slightly strange, with a serious expression.
“But you’re already close, Hinase-san. If I get any closer, we’ll be stuck together.”
“That’s fine.”
“That’s weird, that’s definitely weird.”
“What constitutes ‘close’ depends on the relationship.”
I really didn’t understand.
So she’s saying that this distance isn’t considered close for friends?
Is she saying this distance is normal?
If so, I really think making friends is difficult.
“Or are you saying you don’t feel anything for me, Suzuna?”
…That’s a low blow.
She was speaking so forcefully just now, and suddenly she’s using such a weak voice.
Being looked at with such an anxious expression makes me feel bad.
I don’t want to make her feel that way.
It’s as if I’m the one doing something wrong.
“…Fine.”
“Then call me by my name.”
Postponing it was not an option.
Hinase-san immediately demanded an answer.
That speed felt like she was rushing me.
I took a moment to compose myself, to steady my breath.
“…Riri…-san.”
“…You don’t need the ‘-san.’”
“I called you by your name.”
“But you don’t need the ‘-san.’”
“You didn’t say that.”
“Well, it’s in the way. It’s like we’re still strangers.”
Hinase-san is selfish.
I worked hard to do what she asked, and now she’s saying it’s not good enough.
“Then forget it. It’s fine if we’re strangers, Hinase-san.”
“Ah, come on, don’t get sulky.”
“I tried, I really tried.”
“Then try a little harder. You’re almost there.”
…It seemed like Hinase-san wouldn’t let me go unless I called her by her first name.
Is this what friendship is about, demanding more and more?
“Riri-chan.”
“…You don’t need the ‘-chan’—”
“Hinase-san, I’m leaving.”
I couldn’t take it anymore.
I put all my strength into pushing Hinase-san’s arm away.
“Ah! Okay, okay! ‘-chan’ is fine! Just call me by my name?!”
“…Fine.”
She finally relented… Riri-chan released me.
This is how she closes the distance between us.
It was within acceptable limits, but now she’s demanding the same from me.
I don’t feel like I have a good grasp of what “friend distance” is.
◇◇◇
“Ehehe…”
Leaving the music room, Riri-chan was in high spirits.
The tense atmosphere from just a moment ago seemed like a lie.
“Why are you so happy?”
“Because you called me by my name, Suzuna.”
“Is that all?”
“That’s all.”
…Well, the effort required to say the words is the same.
If she’s this happy about it, then maybe it was worth the effort.
“What about you, Suzuna? No, wait.”
“…I—”
I don’t dislike it.
I was resistant to being called “Suzuna” by Shindo-kun, but I don’t feel that resistance with Riri-chan.
I think that’s the answer.
“…It’s… okay, I guess.”
“Eh~ Be happy about it!”
What Riri-chan says is difficult.
Everyone feels differently, so I wish she’d forgive me for having slightly different reactions.
“And we didn’t even get to my problem. Somehow we ended up talking about calling each other by our first names.”
“A-Ahaha… that’s true.”
Riri-chan scratched her cheek, looking embarrassed.
She probably felt awkward since she was the one who brought it up.
“Ah, I have an idea. Why don’t you teach Kokona how to cook directly?”
Riri-chan’s voice brightened as if a lightbulb went off.
She definitely just thought of that. She must have completely forgotten about my problem until now.
…But I’ll let it slide since she’s thinking about it now.
“Teach her how to cook, huh…”
Certainly, if I do that, there’s no involvement from Shindo-kun, so my affection level with him won’t increase.
And if Kokona-chan’s cooking improves, her affection level will probably go up.
It seemed like a decent plan.
“…But there’s a problem with that.”
“What?”
“Who’s going to teach her?”
Riri-chan widened her eyes in surprise.
“Well, you, Suzuna.”
“…Seriously?”
“Obviously. Who else would do it?”
Well, she’s right, but…
Even though I share her memories, I’ve never actually cooked before, so I’m not sure I can.
“…How about… you teach her, Riri-chan?”
Hinase Riri has a domestic side.
Despite being a gal, she has the skills to handle all sorts of housework.
“No way. Why should I teach a classmate I barely know, especially his younger sister, how to cook? She wouldn’t want that either.”
She had a point.
I’d refuse too if I were in her shoes.
“Then how about I film myself cooking and show her the video?”
“No… that’s not going to work either.”
Riri-chan looked exasperated.
“Eh?”
“If that worked, she’d already be good at cooking. You have to teach her directly.”
“…How about a video call?”
“Why does it always have to be through a screen? I said directly.”
That means I have to communicate with Kokona-chan directly.
“…That’s a pain.”
Amatsuki Suzuna isn’t well-liked, so it seems tiring.
And teaching someone something means I have to talk a lot.
Doing that face-to-face is quite stressful.
“Do you want to do it, or do you not want to do it?”
“I don’t want to.”
“…You’re a strange one, Suzuna.”
“Am I?”
“You suddenly stopped making lunch for Shindo, you seem worried that Kokona started making it, but you don’t want to teach her? That’s pretty strange.”
Well, she’s right.
Is this the original Amatsuki Suzuna’s fault, or is it mine for being reborn as her?
It’s a shame I can’t explain it.
“It’s strange that you became friends with someone as incomprehensible as me, Riri-chan.”
I replied to Riri-chan sarcastically, venting my frustration.
“Uehehe… of course.”
…But she didn’t seem to mind.
Instead, every time I called her “Riri-chan,” her face softened into a smile.
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