105 As Time Passes By: Hinase Riri’s Side
Near the end of lunch break.
Kaede and I, fed up with the heat, decided to buy some juice from the vending machine on the first floor.
I was holding an orange soda, and Kaede had a sports drink.
We were on our way back.
“You chose that on purpose?”
I didn’t understand the point of buying a sports drink.
“It’s not good for you.”
Kaede criticized my carbonated drink.
“You’re worried about that?”
“You should be, at least a little. You’re not going to stay young forever, and it’s not good for your skin when you get older.”
It felt like she was different from me, already thinking about the distant future when we’re still teenagers.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m only going to live for today.”
“I know.”
Kaede accepted it without any objection.
That’s not very interesting.
“Why do you understand me so well, Kaede?”
“If you were the type who thinks about tomorrow, you wouldn’t be giving your crush the silent treatment for a week.”
“Ugh…”
I tried to be a little mean, but she completely turned it back on me.
“How long are you going to be stubborn? You should just talk to Amatsuki and clear up any misunderstandings.”
“I’m telling you, I want Suzuna to be the one to talk to me. If she really cares about me, she’ll definitely try to clear up the misunderstanding.”
Kaede frowned at my reply.
“That’s so tiring. Are you a clingy girlfriend?”
“That’s annoying.”
That’s a harsh reaction after asking me.
I didn’t say that because I wanted to.
“And Suzuna might have tried to clear up the misunderstanding, but you’re the one who rejected her. There’s no way she’ll approach you now.”
“That’s why I’m saying she should try harder.”
“…Think about Suzuna’s personality. She’s not exactly assertive.”
That’s true, but…
I don’t want her to talk about Suzuna’s personality as if she understands her perfectly.
“You don’t know anything about Suzuna’s personality, Kaede, so stop saying such irresponsible things.”
“Ah, possessiveness? You’re ignoring her, but you don’t want anyone else to touch her? Ouch, that hurts…”
Kaede dramatically closed her eyes, as if I had said something incredibly painful.
It’s not very amusing since I can’t deny any of it.
“It’s fine. If she gives up that easily, then that’s how much she cares about me.”
“You’re not being honest. You actually want her attention.”
“Why do you understand me so well, Kaede?!”
“Because there are so many things you do that make me think that way, Riri. Want to hear them?”
She’s observing me that closely?
I don’t know if it’s because Kaede is perceptive or if I’m being too obvious, but…
“No, I don’t.”
“Wise decision.”
Kaede shook her head.
“Seriously, are you sure you can afford to be so nonchalant?”
“…What do you mean?”
“Amatsuki is also a girl, you know? What if she wants someone to comfort her broken heart?”
“Who?”
“I don’t know. But Amatsuki has become more polished lately, thanks to someone, so I think there are probably people interested in her.”
Kaede is perceptive, noticing everything from the reactions of those around us to individual changes.
If Kaede says so, then it’s highly likely.
“No… she wouldn’t change her mind so quickly.”
“I’ve seen a lot of friends lose someone they like because they were too hesitant.”
“…”
Kaede’s words made me feel uneasy.
“If you’re getting this flustered just from what I said, you should make up with her quickly.”
“It’s fine. I’m waiting.”
Kaede sighed deeply.
◇◇◇
“…Just as I thought.”
When I returned to the classroom, Kaede muttered.
Her gaze was fixed on Suzuna and Shindo at the back of the classroom, by the window.
“They’re just talking.”
I tried to sound calm.
“What if they’re making plans to meet up?”
“No way, Suzuna said she’s not interested in Shindo.”
“She’s just pretending.”
Kaede didn’t believe me at all.
“It’s none of my business.”
I sat down at my desk, feeling like I was about to explode.
“Then I guess I’ll eavesdrop.”
“H-Hey…”
Kaede approached Suzuna, pretending to be a passerby.
I’m not worried about Suzuna and Shindo.
I’m just focusing on Kaede’s strange behavior.
—Thud
Kaede, passing by, dropped her wallet, and Suzuna picked it up.
What is she doing?
Kaede, after receiving her wallet, immediately returned to me.
“Riri, you might be too late.”
“…Huh?”
◇◇◇
“So, Riri, why aren’t you going home?”
“Well, I’m about to.”
Kaede spoke to me as I remained in my seat after school.
Only Suzuna, Shindo, a few classmates, Kaede, and I were left in the classroom.
“You’re worried about Shindo, aren’t you?”
“Not really.”
But I did hear something strange from Kaede.
Apparently, Suzuna cornered Shindo after school and said,
“Do you have some time after school?”
Looking directly at him, she said,
“I need to talk to you.”
And then, she said something suggestive:
“It’s about… the future.”
“The other students have left. Those two won’t talk if we stay here, so we have to leave.”
“I didn’t know that, but I was thinking of going home soon.”
“…Sure.”
We went out into the hallway.
“So you’re going to eavesdrop?”
Kaede said knowingly.
“I’m not.”
“Just be honest.”
“I am being honest.”
I led Kaede towards the entrance.
“…”
But I still felt… uneasy.
I stopped, and Kaede looked at me.
“What’s wrong? Aren’t we going home?”
“I forgot something.”
“…That sounds like it’ll take a while. I’m going home.”
“Okay, see you later.”
“I hope you find what you forgot.”
Kaede waved and left.
I know she’s being considerate.
I returned to the classroom.
◇◇◇
I believe that Suzuna wouldn’t change her mind so easily.
But Kaede’s words made me worry.
I eavesdropped on the conversation coming from the classroom.
Sorry, I’ll leave as soon as I confirm…
“So… I want to be with the person I like… all the time, if possible.”
Eh…
Suzuna’s words made my breath catch in my throat.
“Amatsuki is also a girl, you know. What if she wants someone to comfort her broken heart?”
Kaede’s words from earlier replayed in my mind.
Suzuna… is she… interested in Shindo…?
“I see, I see… you’ve really changed, haven’t you? So that’s what it was.”
“Yeah, that’s it.”
“Okay, I understand.”
They looked at each other as if they had reached an understanding.
“We’re childhood friends, stuck together. I can tell when you’re serious, and I’m not insensitive enough to deny that.”
And then, as if prompted, they reached for each other’s hands.
No, I can’t let that happen…
“Thank you.”
Hearing Suzuna’s happy voice, I couldn’t take it anymore.
—Stumble!
I almost tripped, caught myself, and then ran.
I made an irreversible mistake.
I was arrogant, thinking Suzuna would only look at me.
I could only run away from the classroom, escaping from reality.
106 The Truth
I left the classroom.
I saw a figure disappearing around the corner of the hallway.
All I could see was her legs and the swirling of her skirt.
But I knew instantly that it was Riri-chan.
Why is she in such a hurry?
It was as if she was running away from me.
I started running after her.
◇◇◇
When I reached the entrance, Riri-chan was changing her shoes.
Thanks to that, I managed to catch up.
“Riri-chan?!”
“—!”
Riri-chan looked at me reflexively at my raised voice.
Her expression was a mixture of surprise, sadness, and anger.
It seemed to be filled with complicated emotions.
“Wait, I need to talk to you!”
“…”
But Riri-chan only glanced at me.
After changing into her outdoor shoes, she left the entrance without hesitation.
She didn’t say anything, just ran away from me.
“Hey, why…”
Am I being rejected again…?
Even if I catch her, she’ll probably just push me away like last time.
She might not want to listen to me anymore.
“But I haven’t… told you yet…”
But I won’t give up.
I’ll tell her everything, and if it doesn’t work out, then it can’t be helped.
I can’t end this without trying.
I’ll catch her and make her listen.
But Riri-chan is fast.
If I change my shoes, she’ll quickly outrun me.
So…
“Riri-chan, wait!”
So I chased after her in my indoor shoes.
“—?!”
She probably didn’t expect me to call out to her again so soon.
Riri-chan turned around abruptly and stared at me.
But she didn’t stop.
The distance that had almost closed between us quickly widened again.
Why?
She could at least listen to me.
As she left the school building, the distance between us increased even further.
Riri-chan’s footsteps were light and swift.
My legs felt heavy and clumsy, my lungs burning for oxygen.
My ragged breathing was loud and annoying.
I’ll never catch up at this rate.
I can’t do anything unless she stops.
—How can I make her turn around?
She can definitely hear me, she’s looking at me, and she knows why.
Knowing all that, she’s still choosing to ignore me.
That’s why she won’t stop.
How do you stop someone like that…?
“Riri…”
Maybe…
Maybe Riri-chan doesn’t like being forced to do things she doesn’t want to do
Then would she turn around if I granted her wish?
Would she be willing to at least listen to me?
If I accept what I’ve been stubbornly refusing…
Would she also… accept me, even a little?
With that hope, I forced oxygen into my burning lungs.
My heart pounded, but that didn’t matter now.
I clung to that sliver of hope, hoping she would listen.
I took a deep breath and shouted—
“—Riri!!”
It was just her name.
Just calling her without honorifics.
But it’s what she wanted, what I’ve been refusing to do.
I wanted to close the distance between us by closing that distance.
“…Why?”
My feelings reached her.
Her footsteps stopped.
I caught up to her and put my hand on her shoulder.
I was out of breath, my body exhausted.
But I finally caught up.
“—Why are you suddenly calling me by my name?”
“…That’s because…”
I caught my breath.
I straightened my bent knees and looked up.
I met her gaze, her eyes filled with suspicion.
I didn’t call her by her name just to get her attention.
It’s not just that I didn’t want to call her “Riri.”
I had my reasons.
And now, I thought I could face her by revealing those reasons.
That’s why I’m standing here.
“Riri, I…”
She once said,
“Let’s call each other by our first names.”
“Distance doesn’t shrink unless you take a step forward yourself.”
She’s always been trying to close the distance between us.
But no matter how many times she called me “Suzuna,” I insisted on calling her “Riri-chan.”
Because I thought that was the appropriate distance.
She probably thought it wasn’t equal.
But that’s not true.
Because… everything… hasn’t been real for me.
“My name… is Yukitsuki Mashiro.”
That’s why I wanted Riri to call me Mashiro.
Because that’s the real me.
Even though I’m Amatsuki Suzuna in this world, I want Riri, at least, to know the real Yukitsuki Mashiro.
Because only then can we truly be equals, calling each other by our names.
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