103 The Answer Lies Within
I couldn’t concentrate on the afternoon test.
Futaba-senpai’s words, “How about I become your place?” wouldn’t leave my mind.
I wasn’t thinking about that at all, but her words made me waver.
Maybe it’s okay… if I can escape this loneliness.
That thought surfaced.
But I also wondered if it was truly the right thing to do.
I don’t know how to reconcile these feelings since I’ve never experienced this before.
All I know is that I’m confused.
I hated myself for being so easily swayed, for my feelings for Riri-chan, which I thought were so resolute, being so fragile.
The test ended without me finding an answer.
◇◇◇
After school.
I stayed until the very end, as usual, and then headed home.
The school was very quiet without the after-school club activities.
I walked alone down the silent hallway.
Tomorrow is the last day of the final exams, followed immediately by the closing ceremony.
Summer break will begin, and I won’t see Riri-chan.
I don’t think I can spend those days alone.
Then, maybe…
“—Oh, Amatsuki-san?”
A clear voice echoed through the hallway.
I turned around, and there was Kanaori Reika.
“You’re leaving quite late for a test day.”
“You too, Kanaori-san.”
“I was waiting for someone, and…”
Kanaori-san’s expression hardened noticeably.
I could sense her irritation.
“Waiting for… someone…?”
“Hinase Riri. I told her to come to the student council room after school, but she didn’t show up.”
“Ah, I-I see…”
The person I least want to talk about right now…
The timing is terrible.
“I was so impressed that she finally corrected her uniform, but she’s reverted back to her old ways.”
“Th-That’s true…”
“Thanks to your encouragement, Amatsuki-san, she finally started looking like a proper student. This is… a betrayal, even to you. I can’t believe it.”
“Well, that’s…”
It’s true that I influenced her to correct her uniform.
But it’s also my fault that she reverted…
I can’t say that, though.
“And after I called her out to give her another warning, she stood me up. I don’t know what to do anymore.”
“I-I see…”
It seems like Riri-chan is a constant source of trouble for Kanaori-san.
“Ah, that’s right!”
Kanaori-san suddenly clasped her hands together, as if she had an idea.
“What is it?”
“I have a favor to ask. Could you… convey a message to her, Amatsuki-san?”
My heart pounded with a sense of foreboding.
“Convey… what…?”
“If possible, I’d like you to… ask her to correct her uniform.”
Kanaori-san was watching my reaction closely.
“Well, that’s… a bit…”
“Yes, I understand. I don’t want to cause any trouble between you two, so I won’t insist if it’s too difficult. I’m fine being the bad guy.”
I’m impressed by her resolve.
“Then I’d like you to tell Hinase-san to come to the student council room after school tomorrow, without fail.”
She’s being so polite and humble that it’s hard to refuse…
But… I can’t do that right now.
“I’m sure she’ll listen to you, Amatsuki-san. I apologize for asking, but could you please cooperate?”
“Well, that’s… a little…”
Kanaori-san tilted her head at my hesitant response.
“I thought you’d agree, Amatsuki-san, since you were the one who helped Hinase-san correct her uniform…”
“Well, I… I do feel that way too, but…”
There’s a problem that occurred before that, and I can’t do anything about it.
“Did something happen between you and Hinase-san?”
Kanaori-san quickly noticed my hesitation.
“Um… yes.”
Unable to come up with a plausible excuse, I just admitted it.
“That’s unusual for you two. Did you have a fight?”
“Ah… well… something like that.”
“I see… Then this isn’t the time to be asking for favors.”
Kanaori-san looked awkward and twirled a strand of her golden hair around her finger.
“Since when? You two seemed to be getting along well when I saw you the other day.”
“It happened after that.”
“Did Hinase-san do something?”
It’s probably because of their relationship that Kanaori-san immediately suspects Riri-chan…
“No, it’s my fault. I kept lying to her, and she found out and got angry.”
“Lying…? You, Amatsuki-san?”
“Yes. I think she doesn’t trust me anymore. She hasn’t talked to me since then.”
“That’s…”
Kanaori-san put the strand of hair she was twirling to her lips, thought for a moment, and then let go.
“Is it okay… to leave things like that?”
“Um… well, it’s… too late now, I think.”
“Too late?”
“I’ve been lying from the beginning. I’d have to explain everything from when we first met. And who would want to listen to someone who’s built on lies? She probably doesn’t trust me anymore.”
“But if you don’t talk to her, Amatsuki-san, won’t this situation continue?”
“…Yes.”
“Is it okay for you to become estranged from Hinase-san?”
I think Kanaori-san is genuinely worried.
But hearing her say it directly made my heart ache.
“I’m sure she doesn’t want to talk to me. And Riri-chan has lots of friends, so it doesn’t matter if I’m gone.”
“…What about you?”
“I… have someone else who said they’d be with me. So I thought I could… rely on that person…”
Putting my wavering feelings into words gradually gave them shape.
I started to think that maybe… this was the right answer.
“—Then, how about I—”
“Eh?”
Kanaori-san took a step forward, her voice filled with passion.
But then she stopped.
She bit her lip as if coming back to her senses and took a step back.
“…No, that won’t be good for you, Amatsuki-san.”
“For me?”
I didn’t understand what she meant.
“Were your lies… malicious?”
“That’s…”
That’s definitely not true.
It was difficult for me to accept my situation at first, and I didn’t think she’d believe me.
It was closer to resignation than malice.
“If that’s the case, I think you should tell her the truth.”
“Tell her the truth…? But it’s too late now…”
“It might be too late for you, Amatsuki-san, but it might not be too late for Hinase-san.”
“But she wouldn’t even listen to me…”
She brushed off my hand, walked away, and told me she couldn’t be with me.
“She might be waiting for you to try to talk to her again.”
“…I don’t know about that.”
“Yes, you don’t. But it’s not impossible, is it?”
“You’re surprisingly optimistic, Kanaori-san.”
“That’s not true, Amatsuki-san.”
She took a light step forward, as if bouncing.
Kanaori-san’s demeanor had changed, a more gentle approach.
Her expression was slightly sad, but there was a smile on her lips.
“You’re just… afraid of getting hurt.”
“Afraid of getting hurt…?”
“Yes, because you wouldn’t be thinking about… replacing her with someone else, would you?”
“I… don’t know.”
“No, you want to be with Hinase-san.”
I don’t understand how she can be so sure.
“How can you say that?”
“I can tell. Because, Amatsuki-san… your expression and your eyes don’t change when you talk about anyone else, but they immediately change when you talk about Hinase-san.”
“…Eh?”
“It’s simple, I can tell just from looking at you.”
What amazing observation skills.
“Your expression and your eyes didn’t change when you talked about the other person who said they’d be with you. So your feelings should be clear, Amatsuki-san.”
“But I don’t know what to do…”
She tapped my chest with her finger.
“The answer lies within your heart.”
“…Um…”
That’s a rather abstract answer for Kanaori-san.
“You should be more honest with yourself, Amatsuki-san.”
“Is that so…?”
“Yes. You should practice… expressing your feelings.”
“Expressing my feelings? Practice?”
“Yes, for example… you could tell me who that… lover you mentioned earlier is…?”
“Eh?!”
Why did the conversation suddenly shift to romance…?
This should just be a friend’s relationship troubles for her.
“See? Your eyes sparkled, and your expression brightened.”
“Um, th-that’s because…”
Since she said my expression changes when I talk about Riri-chan, she must already know…
“Fufu, I’m right, aren’t I?”
“Um… you knew?”
“I’ve been observing Hinase-san, for better or worse… and you too.”
“I see…”
As expected of Kanaori-san.
I can’t compete with her perceptiveness.
“You should learn to like yourself more, Amatsuki-san. And open your heart and show your true self.”
“Is that… really okay…?”
It seems simple, but it’s difficult.
And I don’t think it’s something I’m allowed to do…
“I think you’ll change, surely.”
Kanaori-san removed her hand from my chest and walked away.
Perhaps because of her touch, the weight in my chest felt a little lighter.
104 Resolving to…
The last day of final exams.
Time flew by, and summer vacation was almost here.
Before that, I have to find an answer.
Kanaori-san told me the answer lies within myself, so—
◇◇◇
Lunch break.
Today, I didn’t go to the school store. I walked slowly towards the rooftop.
My lack of appetite probably means I’m nervous.
Opening the door, there was the same clear sky as yesterday, and a girl standing there.
“Oh, you came again today.”
“That’s what I said yesterday, didn’t I?”
“I thought you might ignore me.”
Futaba-senpai, as always, was relaxed.
She’s naturally carefree, but I wonder where she gets that composure from.
“I wouldn’t ignore you. I couldn’t, not after you said that to me.”
I couldn’t just brush her off after she offered me such kind words.
“Then can I hear your answer?”
“That’s sudden.”
“We can’t have a proper chat until we’re done with the main topic.”
“That’s… true.”
I asked myself.
What do I want?
But I already knew the answer.
Because the reason I’m so hurt and unable to move on is that that person is more important to me than anyone else.
There’s no replacing her.
I can’t just fill the void with someone else; that would be unfair to Futaba-senpai.
I steeled my resolve and looked at Futaba-senpai.
Today, we were at eye level, and the sun wasn’t obscuring her expression.
“Thank you, Futaba-senpai. I was happy that you offered me such kind words.”
I expressed my honest feelings and bowed my head.
“Well, I just did what I wanted to do.”
Futaba-senpai’s tone remained unchanged.
I couldn’t tell what she was thinking.
But—
“But I can’t… rely on you, senpai.”
I looked up and said it clearly.
Futaba-senpai’s eyes widened slightly, and then she returned to her usual relaxed smile.
“Am I not good enough?”
“No, it’s not like that.”
I don’t have the right to say such arrogant things.
It’s much simpler than that.
“I… can’t give up.”
Even after being rejected, having her let go of my hand, and losing my place…
I still kept coming here.
I could have given up at any time.
But I endured because I was holding onto hope.
“You can’t forget about her, can you?”
“No, I can’t.”
“She might reject you again, you know?”
“Even so, that’s not a reason to rely on you, Futaba-senpai… or rather, I shouldn’t.”
I shouldn’t lean on someone when I don’t have feelings for them.
It might offer temporary comfort, but I think that kind of relationship would gradually become distorted.
“Okay, okay, then good luck.”
Futaba-senpai smiled cheerfully.
“…You’re not… angry?”
“Why would I be?”
“Well, I ended up rejecting you after you tried to help me…”
It must be painful for her that I didn’t take her offered hand.
“Don’t you remember, Suzuna-chan?”
“…Yes?”
“I’m interested in… interesting things.”
“…I see.”
I’ve heard her say that since we first met, but…
“There are things that are interesting precisely because they’re out of reach.”
It was a typical Futaba-senpai-like remark.
I couldn’t tell if she was being sincere or just trying to be considerate.
◇◇◇
My mind was made up.
I’ll talk to Riri-chan again.
I don’t know if she’ll even look at me.
But I don’t want to have any more regrets.
I returned to the classroom and sat down at my desk.
“Shindo-kun.”
But there’s one more thing I have to do before that.
“What is it, Suzuna? I’m trying to memorize vocabulary right now, so if you’re going to talk to me, speak English.”
This guy…
Neither of us is good at English…
“Do you have some time after school?”
“…Yeah, but what’s wrong?”
“I need to talk to you.”
Perhaps sensing my seriousness, he looked at me without his usual teasing tone.
“What’s with the serious face?”
“It’s about… the future.”
“…Okay.”
He seemed puzzled, but…
Shindo-kun nodded and looked back at his textbook.
—Thud
Something fell to the floor.
“…Hmm?”
I saw a designer wallet on the floor.
(I’m not fashionable enough to know the brand, but I can tell it’s expensive.)
I picked it up.
“Ah, sorry.”
I looked up, and Tachibana-san was looking at me.
It seems to be hers.
“Here.”
“Ah, thanks…”
I handed it to her, and she returned to her seat.
◇◇◇
After school.
Shindo-kun and I were the only ones left in the classroom.
“…So, what is it, Suzuna? Making me stay until the very end after finally being freed from tests…”
“I’m really sorry about that.”
“…Just tell me what you want.”
I’ve been avoiding confronting Shindo Minato, the protagonist.
I’ve only tried to set him up with other heroines, avoiding direct conversation with him.
But in the end, I, Amatsuki Suzuna, am the one who remained.
That was my mistake, I think.
“About summer break… you don’t have to celebrate my birthday with me.”
“…Ah, okay.”
“Yeah, we’re still childhood friends, but… you don’t have to do anything special.”
“…What’s wrong? Do you want to be alone?”
Shindo-kun’s expression was a mixture of surprise and concern.
He’s probably worried about me.
But I shouldn’t have ignored this.
“I… have someone I like.”
“…Seriously?”
His voice rose in surprise.
“Yeah, so… I want to be with that person… all the time, if possible.”
“…H-Hmm… you, Suzuna, have someone you like… hmm…”
Shindo-kun’s voice trailed off.
I don’t know how strong his feelings for Amatsuki Suzuna are right now.
But surely, the feelings he’s harbored since childhood aren’t zero.
After all, there’s an Amatsuki Suzuna route as an ending option.
So instead of pushing the responsibility onto someone else, I should have clearly severed my ties with him.
That’s the only way I, Yukitsuki Mashiro, can escape the entanglement with Shindo Minato and Amatsuki Suzuna.
Otherwise, I shouldn’t be facing Riri-chan.
“I see, I see… you’ve really changed, haven’t you? So that’s what it was.”
“Yeah, that’s it.”
Shindo-kun nodded repeatedly, as if trying to convince himself.
“Okay, I understand.”
“Really…?”
What I’m saying is severing the ties between Shindo Minato and Amatsuki Suzuna.
I didn’t expect him to accept it so readily.
“We’re childhood friends, stuck together. I can tell when you’re serious, and I’m not insensitive enough to deny that.”
Shindo-kun held out his fist.
He probably wants a fist bump.
But that’s not something you do with a girl…
“Thank you.”
Even so, I held out my fist, feeling embarrassed.
To thank Shindo-kun for understanding.
His fist, unexpectedly hard, bumped against mine.
Good.
Now, all that’s left is… Riri-chan…
—Screech!
“Eh…?”
There was a noise from the door leading to the hallway.
A flash of brown hair reflected in the window, then disappeared.
But I instinctively knew.
It’s Riri-chan.
It must be.
She was there.
“Go, Suzuna.”
“Eh, Shindo-kun, did you know who it was?”
It was just a glimpse of her hair.
“Not at all.”
“Then why did you say that…?”
“Because… it’s usually you in these kinds of situations, isn’t it?”
“…”
He’s so careless and unreliable, and yet…
My hesitation vanished.
Thinking that this was the moment, I ran out into the hallway.
Leave a Reply to Sleepy_head Cancel reply