I Don’t Want to Be Reborn With You 1

Chapter 1: It’s Great to Be Young

Tick-tock, tick-tock.

Lu Li loved the sound of the alarm clock. Like the sound of rain, it brought him tranquility, his mind drifting into a forest dappled with light and shadow. Time flowed as usual, from 7:15 to 7:16 in the morning, the Earth continued to rotate, everything was normal.

The date on the calendar was August 26, 2017. This was the only thing that wasn’t normal. No, perhaps the truly abnormal thing was Lu Li himself.

Gone from the face in the mirror were the weariness and the stubble of a beard. His eyes were no longer deep and heavy. He wore a crisp white shirt, his eyes were bright, and there was a youthful softness around his mouth. After a long while, he finally laughed.

He and An Baili were married on October 22, 2022. But their marriage finally came to an end after twenty years.

Lu Li placed the divorce agreement lightly in front of An Baili, his tone indifferent: “I’m tired.”

An Baili’s eyes widened. She was as beautiful as she had been twenty years ago, her features even more striking with time. But her temper, just like twenty years ago, hadn’t changed a bit. “Is it because I can’t give you children?” she asked incredulously.

Was it? Perhaps that was part of the reason. Lu Li added another excuse to the list in his mind. An Baili had once been so important to him, his white moonlight and his red rose. He had been hopelessly lost in her web of tenderness. But when love receded, all that remained besides a pile of feathers was speechless awkwardness.

He didn’t want to come home from a long day at work only to have to coax her like a child. He didn’t want to unconditionally accommodate her as he did when he was younger. He didn’t want to be irritated by her unreasonable tantrums anymore. He didn’t want to come home exhausted and still have to cook every meal himself. He didn’t want to be so broke that he didn’t even have change for parking. He didn’t want… There were too many things he didn’t want; in short, he was just tired.

He also wished to be the one loved and cared for, not the one who was always giving. An Baili would always be a girl at heart, but he, Lu Li, was no longer a young man.

Lu Li didn’t answer An Baili. He lowered his eyelids, as if dozing off.

“I don’t agree!” An Baili said, agitated, then her voice turned aggrieved, “Don’t leave me, okay…?”

Here we go again… Lu Li didn’t look up. He knew he couldn’t resist An Baili’s tears. As long as she cried, he would be at a loss. It was stupid, pathetic even.

An Baili leaned closer, her warm body pressing against his. She hugged her husband pitifully, “I don’t want a divorce.”

Still no answer.

“You’ve been bullying me for so many years, and now you just want to throw me away like a rag?” She rubbed her cheek against Lu Li’s like a kitten, a habit she had developed in her youth. She was infatuated with his scent, his voice, everything about him. To her, Lu Li was the most special and important person, bar none.

“Are you going to find Wen Hupo? Or Chen Jianing?” Her tone became even more pitiful, “Don’t be good to them, okay? Don’t be angry anymore, I won’t force you to make fried ‘Tai Chi balls’ anymore, I’ll eat whatever you cook… Li, don’t be silent, I’m so scared.”

Always the same. Lu Li smiled sadly. He didn’t even know why he was disappointed anymore. An Baili would never understand him, never empathize with him. Was it really just because of the dish he cooked yesterday? Twenty years ago, he thought An Baili would become gentle, considerate, and mature. Ten years ago, he thought she just needed a little more time. And now, Lu Li had no hope left.

A phrase surfaced in his mind: Never expect to change a person, you are not God.

They loved each other deeply, but love wasn’t everything. Now, Lu Li decided to walk away.

“I’ve thought about it for a long time.” Lu Li finally spoke again. As soon as he opened his mouth, An Baili leaned in to kiss him, trying to silence his hurtful words with her body, as she always did. She was a beautiful woman, and she knew Lu Li couldn’t resist her allure.

But this time, Lu Li avoided her, taking her aback. A greater panic instantly washed over her. She hugged Lu Li even tighter.

“I’m really tired, very, very tired. I don’t want to say another word…” Lu Li’s words sent chills down her spine, “I’ll leave with nothing. All my wealth, including the company under my name, will be transferred to you.”

“I don’t want your money. Don’t!” An Baili panicked, her voice shrill, “Don’t say that, please, don’t say that…” The harder she cried, the further Lu Li turned his head away.

“Why are you doing this… Why are you so cruel?” An Baili sobbed, “If I wanted your money, why would I have been with you in the first place? I still remember when we were both broke and could only afford to buy a few extra steamed buns for breakfast at the school cafeteria and nibble on them at noon. We used to laugh about it…”

“Stop it.” As people get older, they naturally don’t want to hear about the past, especially at a time like this. Lu Li interrupted An Baili, “I’m the one who wasn’t tolerant enough, it’s not your fault. I’m sorry. That’s enough, there’s nothing more to say.”

The middle-aged man’s decision was made after careful consideration, no longer as fickle as he was in his youth. He decided to let An Baili calm down.

“I’m going to sleep in the guest room, you calm down first. Sign it when you’ve thought it through.” He ruthlessly pried An Baili’s hands off him, but she clung to him relentlessly, “Let go of me, I want to rest, I’m very tired today.”

“No!”

He looked at An Baili silently, the receding love in his eyes terrified her. The Lu Li before her now was so unfamiliar that she was afraid. She subconsciously loosened her grip, but immediately regretted it. Lu Li decisively entered the guest room and locked the door, leaving An Baili crying and shouting outside.

Their concerned neighbor called, advising them not to quarrel, specifically hinting that Lu Li shouldn’t resort to domestic violence, or she would call the Women’s Federation. Lu Li explained a few words, not even sure what he had said. He lay down on the bed, groggy, his mind replaying scenes from past years. Listening to the ticking of the clock, he finally drifted off to sleep.

He had a dream. He dreamt of his sweet love affair with An Baili in his youth. He didn’t know if it was a good dream or a nightmare.

He was awakened by a pungent smell. Not only was the smell strange, but the air was also thin, lacking oxygen. He felt a little difficulty breathing. Was it because the doors and windows were closed, and the air wasn’t circulating? A bad thought suddenly flashed through his mind. He opened the bedroom door and saw An Baili sitting in the living room, tears streaming down her face, holding the crumpled divorce agreement in her hand.

The doors, the windows, even the curtains were tightly shut. The entire apartment was dark, except for An Baili’s watery eyes, which were particularly prominent.

A strange smell, like rotten eggs, permeated the air. Lu Li looked at An Baili, “What did you do?”

“I want to be with you forever and ever and ever.” She used “forever” three times, “I love you, Lu Li. You promised me you would never leave me, you wouldn’t break your promise, right?”

Lu Li finally understood what she had done. The guilt in his eyes was replaced by fear and anger, “Are you crazy? An Baili, do you even have a brain?! How old are you to be doing this?!” He wanted to open the windows, to stop An Baili.

The lack of oxygen and fatigue made his brain numb, his reactions not as sharp as usual. He didn’t even notice the lighter in An Baili’s hand at first. An Baili’s loving gaze fell on Lu Li, “I want to make you love me again.”

There were no rotten eggs, only the smell of leaking gas. And the lighter in An Baili’s hand.

The next second, flames engulfed the couple.

It was August 26, 2017, a few days before the start of his second year of high school. He had just turned sixteen, at the peak of his youth and vigor. This year, he didn’t have to worry about taking care of his health, he could stay up all night online and still go to school the next day, he could enjoy the air conditioning on rainy days, and he could drink cold drinks without a care in the world.

He laughed freely and heartily. He was actually reborn, back to the age of sixteen. On August 26th, he hadn’t even met An Baili yet. In other words, nothing had happened yet. He had the chance to choose his life all over again.

And those regrets. This time, he wouldn’t let them become regrets again.

An Baili’s final act of madness had shaken Lu Li to his core. He had no idea that the always timid An Baili harbored such a demon within her. It also made him incredibly grateful that he had made the right decision.

In his phone’s memo, he had written “buy textbooks,” followed by “XXX Chinese study guide, XXX math workbook.” Today, he needed to prepare for the start of school.

Lu Li lived alone. He had no parents, no relatives. Although he lived alone, it wasn’t in a villa, but in low-income housing provided by the government for vulnerable groups like him.

This was the country of Shenzhou on planet Earth, a constitutional monarchy. It was also Lu Li’s homeland. It was 2017, the most civilized era in history, and also the era with the most developed entertainment industry.

Lu Li had a dream: he wanted to be a game producer. He loved games, and not just video games. He loved to create rules different from reality, to weave captivating gameplay, and to see the relaxed and happy smiles on people’s faces. In his previous life, he had been chasing this dream, reaching a certain height, but far from success.

He looked around the street, trying to confirm the reality of it all with his sight and smell.

He was standing at the door of his apartment when he ran into Zou Yameng, who was returning from her morning jog.

Zou Yameng was wearing a sports bra, her delicate skin glistening with sweat, her ample bosom a frequent visitor in his teenage dreams. Before he met An Baili, he had fantasized about Zou Yameng more than once. It could only be said that youthful fantasies were always wild.

This time, he didn’t look down shyly but looked at her with joy, “Sister Yameng…!”

Zou Yameng took off her earphones, “Well, well, well, so happy to see me?” Her tone was half-joking, half-affectionate.

Zou Yameng was Lu Li’s neighbor, also an orphan with no one to care for her, living on government assistance. She had shown exceptional athletic talent in elementary school and was recruited by the Chuanhai City Women’s Sports School, becoming an outstanding youth table tennis player. At the same time, Zou Yameng was also Lu Li’s childhood friend who grew up with him, or rather, like a half-sister.

Zou Yameng was a beautiful woman. She had short hair, handsome features, a stunning figure, and a generous personality. It was said that she was very popular in the girls’ school. But this “sister” was a very indecisive person, perhaps with the same innate self-abasement as Lu Li. In the second year after Lu Li and An Baili got married, Sister Yameng committed suicide by hanging.

In her previous life, she had to withdraw from the national team due to an Achilles tendon injury. She refused the offer to be a coach for the youth team and returned to Chuanhai City. No one knew what she was thinking at that time, why she returned to Chuanhai, or why she committed suicide shortly after.

It wasn’t until Lu Li went to clean up her apartment after her death that he discovered the room was filled with empty beer bottles and garbage. He had no idea why she had gone from a cheerful and outgoing athlete to a depressed suicide victim.

An elder sister is like a mother. Most of the time, it was Zou Yameng who took care of him. Although Zou Yameng was only a year older than him, she was very reliable, and Lu Li’s later behavior was somewhat influenced by her.

“Yes, I’m very happy. Very, very happy to see Sister Yameng!” he said subconsciously.

Rebirth, it seemed, wasn’t just a simple regeneration of the soul. The rejuvenation of his body seemed to have rejuvenated his mind as well. This kind of heartfelt confession, which he wouldn’t have easily expressed in his previous life, now easily slipped out of his mouth.

Being able to see Zou Yameng again, he felt it was already a blessing from heaven.

Zou Yameng smiled happily, “You’re so sweet today. Wait for me to take a shower, and I’ll take you to breakfast.”

“Okay.”

He looked up at the blue sky, cloudless and vast. It was good to be alive, good to be young.