Chapter 61 p1
“Lick it.”
Xin Yao sat on the bathroom counter, her head slightly bowed, her long eyelashes fluttering like broken butterfly wings in the soft light.
She looked at Xu Jingyu’s finger, pale and slender like a piece of jade, held just inches from her lips. After a long moment of hesitation, she parted her lips, her tongue darting out to lick the offered digit.
Xu Jingyu’s breath hitched, her eyes darkening as she reached out with her other hand, her touch seemingly gentle, yet possessive, as she caressed the back of Xin Yao’s neck.
After a long moment, Xin Yao withdrew her tongue, her gaze falling on Xu Jingyu’s finger, now glistening with moisture, then quickly looked away, embarrassed.
She looked up at Xu Jingyu, her eyes soft and pleading, a hint of vulnerability in their depths.
Normally, Xu Jingyu wouldn’t be able to resist such a look, her desire for Xin Yao too strong to ignore.
But this time, she didn’t move.
She withdrew her hand, her fingers gently gripping Xin Yao’s waist, then turned her around so that she was facing the mirror.
Even on the verge of losing control, she still cared about Xin Yao’s comfort, her actions a testament to her love.
She turned up the heat in the bathroom, then took off her own clothes and placed them beneath Xin Yao, afraid she would be cold.
Xin Yao had been sitting on the counter with her back to the mirror, the wide surface more than enough space for her to recline.
Now, turned around by Xu Jingyu, she could see her own reflection in the mirror, and Xu Jingyu’s figure standing behind her, her presence a silent, looming threat.
It was the same mirror she looked into every day, the same familiar reflection, yet the scene, the two of them in the brightly lit bathroom, Xu Jingyu’s gaze intense and possessive, made Xin Yao’s heart race.
And then she realized what Xu Jingyu was planning, a wave of panic and shame washing over her as she tried to escape.
“Xu Jingyu,” she said, her voice trembling slightly, “don’t do this.”
Xu Jingyu’s arms wrapped around Xin Yao, her embrace seemingly gentle, yet her body a cage, holding Xin Yao captive.
Her fingers, still glistening from Xin Yao’s touch, tilted Xin Yao’s chin up, forcing her to look at their reflection in the mirror, their bodies intertwined.
“Yaoyao, what did you just say?”
Xin Yao’s back pressed against Xu Jingyu’s chest, the warmth of her body, the steady beat of her heart, a stark contrast to the cold, hard surface of the counter beneath her, her lips trembling as she repeated the words.
“I love you.”
She knew that if Xu Jingyu had called out someone else’s name during an intimate moment, she would have been hurt and angry.
And even though Xu Jingyu was Pei Yu, she didn’t remember, and for now, she was a different person.
Xin Yao, filled with guilt and regret, wanting to appease Xu Jingyu, to calm her down, surrendered, biting her lip to stifle a cry, her body still.
Xu Jingyu’s fingers held her chin captive as she watched their reflection in the mirror, her own image slowly being consumed by Xu Jingyu’s passion, her lips reddening under Xu Jingyu’s touch, blooming like a flower.
The overwhelming shame, the humiliation of being watched, made her cry, her body trembling, her tears blurring her vision.
She felt like she was being lifted into the clouds, then plummeting back to earth, her senses overwhelmed.
Water splashed against the mirror, distorting their reflection, then trickled down the smooth surface, dripping onto the floor.
Xin Yao’s body went limp, her tears falling silently.
Even now, Xu Jingyu wouldn’t let her go.
She leaned closer, her face next to Xin Yao’s, forcing her to look at their reflection.
“Yaoyao, look. Who loves you now?”
Xin Yao, after a long moment, finally spoke, her voice choked with sobs.
“You.”
“Who am I?”
“Xu Jingyu.”
“Yes,” Xu Jingyu turned her head, capturing Xin Yao’s lips in a tender kiss, her voice a husky whisper. “Say my name. Tell me you love me, Yaoyao.”
Xin Yao, her voice trembling, her words forced from her lips, repeated, “I love you. I love you, Xu Jingyu.”
Was she lying?
Xu Jingyu didn’t know. She couldn’t tell.
But it didn’t matter.
Even if it was a lie, she would take it.
Even if she had to force it, she would keep Xin Yao by her side.
She kissed Xin Yao softly, her eyes filled with a desperate, possessive love.
“I love you too.”
It wasn’t just a casual phrase. It was the truth, torn from her heart.
Xin Yao had always known about Xu Jingyu’s possessive nature, her tendency towards obsessive behavior, the darkness lurking beneath her calm exterior.
And tonight, that darkness had surfaced, her control slipping.
From the moment she had entered the bathroom, seeing Xin Yao’s reaction, hearing her cry out Pei Yu’s name, she had been on the verge of losing control.
Xin Yao hadn’t known how to explain.
She couldn’t reveal the existence of the system, or her connection to the original owner. And claiming to be Pei Yu from a past life would only make Xu Jingyu think she was crazy.
So, she had frozen, her lips parting, but no words coming out.
Xu Jingyu, standing there, her gaze fixed on Xin Yao’s face, a flicker of sadness in her eyes, had asked, “Yaoyao, why aren’t you saying anything? Even a lie would be better than this silence.”
Xin Yao, seeing the pain in Xu Jingyu’s eyes, regretted her careless words, regretted not having bought the premium version of the illusion, which would have spared her this heartache.
“I…” she murmured, “I just… said the wrong name.”
It was the truth. She hadn’t been lying.
Pei.
Xu.
Pei Yu.
Xu Jingyu.
Two syllables, three syllables. A simple slip of the tongue?
Xu Jingyu looked at her, then chuckled softly.
“Okay.”
She would believe her.
“Then,” she continued after a moment, “are we that similar? Do we look alike? Or are our personalities similar? Or is it just because our names both have the character ‘Yu’?”
Am I just a substitute for Pei Yu?
From the moment they had met, during the audition for “Unseen Spring,” Xu Jingyu had sensed a distance in Xin Yao’s eyes, as if she were looking at someone else.
And now, it seemed her intuition had been correct.
Xin Yao, during their scenes together, had been thinking of Pei Yu, her attention divided, her gaze not truly focused on Xu Jingyu.
That’s why she hadn’t recognized her immediately.
And now, the realization, the sudden awareness of Xin Yao’s divided affections, was a thorn in Xu Jingyu’s heart.
Xin Yao, seeing the pain in her eyes, realizing that Xu Jingyu thought she was a replacement for Pei Yu, was horrified.
“That’s not true!” she exclaimed, eager to correct the misunderstanding.
But she didn’t know where to begin, and there wasn’t time for a long explanation.
So, she looked into Xu Jingyu’s eyes, her voice firm and unwavering.
“I love you.”
“I’ve only ever loved you. No one else.”
Her words seemed to calm Xu Jingyu slightly, her gaze softening as she stepped closer.
“Then prove it to me, Yaoyao.”
Xin Yao, of course, wouldn’t refuse.
“How?”
Xu Jingyu’s eyes darkened, her fingertip tracing Xin Yao’s lips.
“Lick it, Yaoyao.”
“Then make love to me here, and tell me you love me.”
And so, Xin Yao, her body a canvas for Xu Jingyu’s desires, her voice a soft whisper in the darkness, confessed her love, her words both a truth and a lie, a desperate attempt to appease the woman she loved, the woman who was slowly losing herself to her own demons.
The next day, she could barely walk.
And their lovemaking hadn’t resolved the underlying issue. In fact, Xu Jingyu’s behavior had become even more erratic, her insecurity growing with each passing day.
The woman who had always craved security, now feeling the sting of Xin Yao’s past love, her mind a battlefield of conflicting emotions, was on the verge of a breakdown.
Like a character in a drama, Xu Jingyu was about to turn dark.
Xin Yao had tried to explain, saying that she had been crying over Li Xu’s photo because she had been feeling sorry for herself, that calling out Pei Yu’s name had been a simple slip of the tongue.
She had repeatedly reassured Xu Jingyu of her love, her words sincere and heartfelt.
And Xu Jingyu believed her.
After all, Xin Yao had no reason to lie. If she didn’t love her, she would simply leave.
In their relationship, Xu Jingyu was the one who couldn’t let go.
But belief and security were two different things.
Xu Jingyu couldn’t shake the feeling that Xin Yao would eventually leave her, that one day, she would grow tired of her, of her cold demeanor and her quiet ways, and find someone else.
And who was this Pei Yu?
Was she truly just a substitute? Did they really look alike? Did Xin Yao sometimes see Pei Yu in her, her gaze a fleeting memory of a past love?
Xin Yao had never answered these questions directly.
And her silence was a thorn in Xu Jingyu’s heart, driving her further into the darkness.
She wanted to keep Xin Yao by her side, to possess her completely, her actions becoming increasingly possessive, even obsessive.
She followed Xin Yao everywhere, her gaze never wavering, her touch a constant reminder of her presence.
One morning, Xin Yao, awakened by a sudden stomachache, had rushed to the bathroom.
Xu Jingyu, a light sleeper, had woken up and instinctively turned to look for Xin Yao, her heart sinking as she saw the empty space beside her, the bed cold and empty.
She had jumped out of bed, her eyes wide with panic, and had run to the living room, the rain outside darkening the already dimly lit room.
She hadn’t seen Xin Yao.
The world had fallen silent, as if Xin Yao had been erased from her life, her absence a gaping void.
And Xu Jingyu’s heart, like the falling rain, had turned cold, her mind a blur of confused thoughts, her gaze unfocused, her eyes almost lifeless.
Xin Yao, emerging from the bathroom, had seen Xu Jingyu standing there, barefoot and motionless, her expression blank, her eyes unseeing, and had been startled by her appearance.
She had rushed towards her.
“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
Xu Jingyu’s eyes had flickered, her gaze focusing on Xin Yao’s face, her expression slowly returning to normal as she saw that Xin Yao had returned.
She had pulled Xin Yao into a tight embrace, her body trembling.
The incident seemed to have traumatized her.
She had become even more possessive, her vigilance constant, her gaze never leaving Xin Yao’s face. And Xin Yao had noticed that she seemed afraid to sleep.
One morning, Xin Yao had woken up to find Xu Jingyu looking pale and exhausted, her eyes bloodshot.
That night, she had pretended to sleep, her mind alert.
She had woken up in the middle of the night and, turning to look at Xu Jingyu, had been startled to find her wide awake, her gaze fixed on Xin Yao’s face.
She had been watching her sleep.
Xin Yao, realizing she had to talk to her, had sat up and turned on the bedside lamp, her voice firm.
“Why aren’t you sleeping?”
Xu Jingyu, snuggling closer, her head resting on Xin Yao’s stomach, her arms wrapping around her waist, had replied, “I was watching you.”
Her answer had been so matter-of-fact!
“Why are you watching me sleep?”
Xu Jingyu had been silent for a moment, then Xin Yao, understanding her anxieties, had gently stroked her hair, her voice soft and reassuring.
“I’m not going to leave you. I’ll always be here, with you.”
“Why don’t you believe me?”
“Then,” Xu Jingyu had looked up at her, her eyes searching, “who is Pei Yu?”
Xin Yao had been speechless.
So, the jealous movie queen hadn’t forgotten.
She had caressed Xu Jingyu’s face, her voice a playful tease.
“Pei Yu? She’s an idiot.”
Not as smart as me.
“And very possessive.”
Her personality isn’t as good as mine.
“And generally annoying.”
So, Yaoyao disliked her!
Xu Jingyu’s eyes had lit up. “Do you like her?”
Seeing her easily appeased, Xin Yao had smiled, turning off the light and snuggling closer to Xu Jingyu, finding a comfortable position in her arms.
“I only like you.”
See? Yaoyao only likes me. What chance does Pei Yu have?
Having successfully banished Pei Yu to the realm of disliked people, Xu Jingyu’s mood had improved, her anxiety easing slightly.
But only slightly.
She was still clinging to Xin Yao, her possessiveness a constant presence, her fear of losing her a dark cloud that followed her everywhere.
For almost two weeks, she had kept Xin Yao practically prisoner in her apartment, forbidding her from leaving, from seeing other people.
Her behavior had become increasingly obsessive and controlling, her actions bordering on paranoia.
Until one day, things changed.
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