21. It’s Natural to Want to Bathe with a Cute Girl
The thought suddenly struck me.
“Liz, let’s take a bath together!”
“…Um… with Master…?” Liz’s face contorted into a clear expression of reluctance.
“I’ll be waiting outside… I’m a maid…”
“But you’re also my bodyguard, right? You’re vulnerable in the bath.”
“That’s precisely why I think I should remain fully armored.”
She had a point. However, I had recently acquired a tool to dismantle such sensible arguments.
“I’ll have Samarkand guard us outside.”
“Why are you so insistent?”
I stated my case with conviction.
“Isn’t it natural to want to bathe with a cute girl?”
“Huh? …Huh?” Naturally, Liz was confused.
“Is that… how it works?”
“Yeah, that’s how it works. Come on in. Let’s go.” I tried to press the matter with sheer enthusiasm.
“Ugh… alright.”
“Samarkand. You heard that, right?” I glanced at the black goat waiting behind me.
“Indeed. I shall remain on guard. Maintaining strict vigilance of the surroundings.” Samarkand nodded.
He had only recently become my subordinate, so I wasn’t sure of his full capabilities, but it was clear he possessed combat prowess recognized even by Liz, and enhanced presence detection due to his high magical power.
“This is the first truly important personal mission I’m assigning you since you officially joined my ranks. Please handle it well.”
“Leave everything to me.” His reply was reassuring.
It was good to have reliable subordinates. Although I’d been a little uneasy given the circumstances of how he’d joined, he’d already gotten along well with the Barghests.
The new security system—Barghests in the yard, Samarkand inside, and Liz overseeing them—was functioning smoothly.
I headed to the bathhouse with Liz.
Actually, demon ‘baths’ were… unusual.
There were several reasons for this. They had been driven from their homeland, losing their bathing facilities along with many other possessions. They had experienced a time when even clean water was unavailable without using magic. They could maintain a certain level of cleanliness for themselves and their clothes using various spells.
Thus, the culture of bathing had nearly died out.
However, habits like washing remained, and soaking in a tub of hot water hadn’t completely disappeared. I’d heard that hot springs were still popular in some regions, and judging by the presence of several public bathhouses in towns, dark elves and beastmen, the core races of the demon kingdom, were quite fond of bathing.
Therefore, rather than dying out, bathing culture had evolved. But now, instead of hot water, we bathed in ooze.
A type of slime-like monster. Some were natural, but for bathing, you’d summon ooze using the magic [Create Ooze] and heat it to a suitable temperature using another spell.
A method of bathing that was a complete culture shock. But now, I was used to it, and I even liked it.
When you had a mentally draining job like orchestrating human extinction, time spent eating and bathing was crucial. Even more so when it was with a cute girl.
So, I was in a cheerful mood, and Liz started talking.
“Master, you really enjoy bathing.”
“Japanese people like bathing. …Though ooze baths are a bit different…”
The first time I’d bathed in ooze, I’d felt like I was truly in another world, far more than when I’d first seen magic or dark elves.
But even by modern Earth standards, if someone told you it was just bathwater with a lot of thickening agent, you might believe them. Or if they talked about dissolved minerals and water quality.
It was semi-transparent, pale green… and when you stepped in, it had a thick, viscous texture.
I’d never done it, but I imagined it would be similar if you added a lot of lotion.
It definitely had excellent moisturizing properties. Since coming here, despite having no access to cosmetics, I’d never worried about skin problems.
“We had some weird bath salts too, you know.”
“Bath salts?”
“It’s a medicine you put in the bath. It dissolves and releases medicinal compounds.”
“Oh… sounds similar to ooze.”
“Yeah, well… you could say that.” I was reluctant to fully equate ooze with bath salts. Water was one thing, but the water itself was suspicious.
“By the way, we also have this fish called doctor fish.”
“You eat them?”
I remembered teaching her that phrase.
“No, not that. It’s not for eating. There’s a therapy where you put fish that eat dead skin cells in a pool and soak in it.”
“Oh… that’s unusual.”
“I don’t think it’s any more unusual than bathing in ooze.”
Natural ooze was an aquatic creature. It digested and absorbed dead bodies and fallen leaves, breaking them down and expelling them. They were similar to earthworms or bacteria. I suspected they also ate dead skin cells and calluses when you bathed.
“For us, this is bathing.”
“Right, that’s how it works. Your common sense is someone else’s unusual. It’s often amusing, but…”
“…Yes, that’s true,” Liz smiled and nodded.
If only everyone understood that obvious truth, there wouldn’t be any wars. Especially not extinction wars between different races, the worst kind of war.
“[Create Ooze],” I chanted.
The first magic I learned was [Create Ooze].
I remembered the feeling of awe.
—Along with the that’s not right feeling when I saw the writhing, pale green viscous creatures, so different from the image of ‘magic’ I had in my head.
“[Create Ooze], [Create Ooze], [Create Ooze], [Create Ooze], [Create Ooze], [Create Ooze], [Create Ooze], [Create Ooze], [Create Ooze]…”
This wasn’t just a house; it was a mansion, so the bath was large. I had to cast [Create Ooze] about a hundred times to fill it.
Heating it didn’t even require chanting. I put my hand in the ooze, focusing my magic on raising the temperature. It looked like I was just checking the water temperature.
Incidentally, this was usually my job. It served as practice for ‘everyday magic,’ and Liz was a bodyguard. Her mana was her weapon.
Apparently, Liz wouldn’t be tired out by chanting [Create Ooze] a hundred or two hundred times.
Once the ooze was warm, I returned to the changing room and undressed. I’d already checked the temperature, but I touched it with my toes to be sure before getting in.
Sliding into the slippery mass was an indescribable sensation. A mixture of pleasure and perversion. It was a little like playing in mud.
Using this much magic at once was tiring, as I only did it during baths. However, warming the ooze melted away the fatigue from chanting, making the bath even more enjoyable. And the bathtub was made of natural marble. Sharing it with Liz made it a truly luxurious bath time.
As I soaked, Liz tilted her head.
“…Master, are you not going to do anything?”
“Were you expecting something? I’m not opposed to meeting expectations.”
“No, not at all.”
“That’s a shame.” I poured some of the ooze over my shoulder. It felt more like putting a slimy mass on my shoulder than pouring water.
“In my country, bathing is sacred.”
“A religious reason…?”
“A little different. Maybe tradition.”
I slowly sank down, until the ooze covered my shoulders. As I told her, I didn’t intend to do anything perverted. That being said, I gazed at Liz submerged in the ooze.
The low transparency of the ooze was a little disappointing, but I couldn’t stop admiring her shoulders, her arms, her chest. And her cheeks, flushed from the warmth, a gentle reminder of how bathing enhanced a girl’s beauty.
“…Um, Master? Why are you looking at me during this sacred ritual…?” A trickle of sweat ran down Liz’s cheek.
“Bathing is sacred, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do anything perverted while bathing. Besides, doesn’t defiling something sacred excite you?”
“I see your perverted preferences have not changed, Master.”
She spoke with a sharp tongue, but if I took it in the most favorable and positive light, it was simply the sign of a comfortable, unreserved relationship.
“Well, rest assured. I won’t lay a hand on you.”
“But you’ll stare.”
“That’s a separate matter.”
“…Well, fine. We are the same gender, after all…” I interlaced my fingers and stretched upwards, palms facing the sky.
“Ahhh~! A bath is a purification of the soul!”
“Purification of the… soul?”
“It’s an idiom from my country. It means a bath refreshes your mind.”
“I see. A unique turn of phrase. Your country is strange.”
“This country is pretty strange when it comes to baths too.”
I kneaded the ooze, letting it squish between my fingers, the peculiar sensation of the heavy, slimy mass dripping off my hands, pulled by gravity.
“Master, I think I’ll get out now. What about you?”
I didn’t want to leave this paradise. I was reluctant for this blissful time to end.
“One more hour…” So, I decided to indulge my desires.
“Wait a minute. That’s too long.”
“It’ll be fine…” Technically, the ooze disappeared after about an hour, so another hour was probably impossible.
At public bathhouses, they apparently employed people to turn over hourglasses and periodically cast [Create Ooze]. Since they could spend the rest of the time reading or chatting, it was considered a relatively popular job. Some public bathhouses even had well-spoken individuals serving as the resident celebrities.
“No, I can’t allow that, not as your bodyguard. …You don’t have any special racial traits I don’t know about, do you?”
“Nope.”
“Come on, let’s get out.”
“Aww…” I immersed myself up to my nose. I decided against blowing bubbles, as I might suffocate.
“Let’s get out today. We can take a bath together again soon…”
“Alright! I’ll get out right away!” I stood up with enthusiasm. The ooze clinging to my body flowed off, thick and sticky.
“I’ll rinse you off.”
“Okay, please do.” Liz created water to rinse the ooze from my hair and skin. The magically generated water disappeared quickly and was unsuitable for drinking or long soaks. But it was thanks to this magic that we could afford to bathe in such copious amounts of ooze (or water, in this case).
Incidentally, summoned creatures like ooze and generated water could be instantly dispelled by the caster, but it was better for hair and skin to let them dry naturally. So, letting them air dry or using a towel were the usual ways to dry off after a bath.
“Thanks, Liz. That was fun. Let’s bathe together again soon.” I thanked her and took the large white towel she offered, then noticed her staring at me intently.
“…Master, were you… planning this the whole time?”
I wrapped the towel around myself and smiled.
“What are you talking about?”
Incidentally, I hadn’t planned anything at all. I’d just decided to play along with Liz’s comment and create a meaningful atmosphere.
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