Chapter 94: I Want Your Smile
Fang Jianing’s matter temporarily came to an end. Although experiencing this online storm brought her quite a bit of trouble, it also caused more passersby to notice her as an uploader. Many people even created Bilibili accounts to follow her because of this. This could be considered a blessing in disguise; her popularity had now reached a new level.
With this matter perfectly concluded, Yu Linna also felt relieved.
She returned to her usual life, nothing much happening, just living her daily routine peacefully. It was already the end of the month. The old year was about to end, and the new year was approaching. Sometimes Yu Linna would pull open the curtains and look at the scenery outside. Although it didn’t snow in the southern winter, falling leaves could still be seen.
Unknowingly, she had lived in Ye Zhiyun’s home for so long. Was it really okay for her to continue living like this? Although Ye Zhiyun was quite good to her, giving her food, clothes, and even gifts. But Yu Linna, who had boarded in others’ homes for a long time, understood that no matter how well one lived in a place, there would eventually come a day when they were tired of it.
She was afraid that one day Ye Zhiyun would get tired of her and kick her out.
Although the probability was small, it wasn’t impossible.
How much longer could she stay here?
The cold wind blew, hitting the glass. Yu Linna’s particularly beautiful eyes gazed out the window, lost in thought.
“What’s wrong, spacing out again? The weather’s decent today. How about going out with me to buy some things? We’re almost out of vinegar and salt at home, and I also want to buy lipstick and cosmetics.”
“Okay, sure.”
Yu Linna quickly agreed.
She was so obedient, which made Ye Zhiyun feel unaccustomed. You know, at the very beginning, the two of them couldn’t stand each other, couldn’t get along at all. Now Yu Linna was so obedient, she started to miss the blonde girl from the beginning who couldn’t get along with her and would argue upon meeting.
Yu Linna was gradually changing, just that she herself hadn’t noticed. Deep down, a seed had long been planted. As for what kind of big tree it would grow into, no one could say for sure.
Yu Linna put on her winter clothes and went out with her. She wore the pink and blue scarf Ye Zhiyun gave her, carefully putting it on. And Ye Zhiyun today also wore a white coat, tied a scarf, and went out with her.
The cold wind outside was quite chilly. It was already the winter solstice. The cold wind was biting; the temperature was probably around seven or eight degrees Celsius. Southerners spending winter weren’t like northerners warming themselves on a huokang (heated brick bed). Southerners were known as the race that couldn’t freeze to death, although every year after winter began, they would shout, “I know I was wrong, it’s so cold!”
“Not many people around.”
“Yeah.”
Ye Zhiyun wanted to find a topic to chat about, but unfortunately, Yu Linna didn’t seem to plan on chatting with her at all, which made her quite depressed. When did this girl Yu Linna become such a quiet introvert?
Along the way, they just bought things, necessary things, doing nothing else besides that. Ye Zhiyun had a plan before going out, knew what she wanted to buy, so she always acted according to plan when shopping. As for Yu Linna, she just followed her, making no moves herself. She was originally the “exclusive chef” bought by Ye Zhiyun. Her entire life was owed to Ye Zhiyun; how could she dare to make any requests?
If it weren’t for Ye Zhiyun, she might have already become Orange River’s prop.
Towards Ye Zhiyun, she was full of gratitude.
“Nana, living with me, are you used to it?”
Inexplicably, Ye Zhiyun asked a question she herself couldn’t figure out why she asked.
The time she lived with Yu Linna wasn’t long nor short, but during this period, Yu Linna had clearly become much more obedient. Ye Zhiyun saw her being reserved during meals several times, eating in small bites. After dinner, she would proactively wash the dishes without needing reminders. Whenever Ye Zhiyun felt the house was a bit dirty, within a minute, she would immediately fetch water and clean. And whenever Ye Zhiyun was tired, she would proactively quiet down, giving her an environment to rest.
She was too obedient, like deliberately submitting to others.
Perhaps because she had boarded in others’ homes for a long time, she retained her old habits.
Yu Linna knew that no matter how good others were to her, she was always an outsider; no one would truly love her. In this world, besides parents, no one would love a child unconditionally.
Yu Linna never had parents, didn’t know this kind of love. She only knew she couldn’t get love, could only exchange obedience for others’ tolerance.
“I think it’s quite good. You’re very good to me. How could I not be used to it?”
Here it comes again, this smile, this smile, it’s really too fake. But she couldn’t say it to her face.
Actually, she should have thought of it long ago. Deep down, Yu Linna would no longer trust anyone.
She was grateful for her rescue, but she didn’t dare to excessively enjoy her care. She was afraid she would be ruthlessly abandoned again.
“Nana, are you hungry?”
“Haha, I’m not hungry. If you’re hungry, I’ll go home and make something delicious for you.”
She was lying.
With this foodie’s personality, how could she not be interested in food? She just didn’t dare to show it.
“Wait for me a moment.”
Ye Zhiyun asked her to stop here. She proactively ran to a street stall, found the boss, and bought a snack. Yu Linna watched this scene dumbfounded but said nothing.
After a short while, Ye Zhiyun came back with a box of takoyaki balls. She directly handed it to her, asking her to accept it.
“For you, eat.”
“This… maybe you eat first?”
“I said it’s for you, so it’s for you. Eat quickly.”
Just looking at this box, Yu Linna was already drooling. How could she care about anything else? She took the box of takoyaki, picked up a bamboo skewer, speared one, and put it in her mouth. The soft meatball was chewed, the seaweed flavor filling her mouth, stimulating her taste buds.
The corners of her mouth curved upwards. Eating these few takoyaki balls, she felt blissful ascension.
Yu Linna’s biggest dream in this life was to eat well and wear warm clothes. Although this dream seemed to have been realized, what she wanted most was to be able to eat all the delicacies in the world. Life is so long; if she didn’t eat more, how could she justify coming to this world?
“Is it delicious?”
Seeing her reveal such a smile, Ye Zhiyun’s brows relaxed, and a slight smile appeared. Only this Yu Linna was the Yu Linna she was familiar with.
Initially, they met on the bus. Their meeting wasn’t harmonious, almost causing a scene over two yuan. It could be said they were truly incompatible from the start.
Later, when they met, it was either arguing or arguing, or Ye Zhiyun unilaterally bickering. Ye Zhiyun hated her, hated her entering her world, disturbing her and Li Muqing. So that time impersonating her parent, all conflicts erupted, completely exploding.
And then? They still reconciled, just because Ye Zhiyun stood out when the blonde girl was cornered in the alley, helping her out. Yu Linna let go of her aversion towards her. Perhaps from that time on, they became different.
At that train station, Yu Linna, having nothing, originally wanted to jump down and end her life, but was ultimately pulled back by Ye Zhiyun, pulled back from the abyss. At that moment, their fates intertwined again.
“It’s delicious.”
Yu Linna finished these few takoyaki balls in a few bites. These little things weren’t much to begin with; finishing them was quick. Especially for her, this foodie, this little bit wasn’t even enough to fill the gaps between her teeth.
“There’s more here. Want some?”
“…Yes.”
Although her brain told her this should be refused, her body couldn’t help but tremble. Thinking of those delicious foods that could be eaten without money, she felt cheap again.
This time, Ye Zhiyun no longer refused her, but took her hand and led her into the snack street. Yu Linna’s eyes lit up, staring at these foods, as if these foods all had a golden glow. Ye Zhiyun chuckled lightly, a trace of softness appearing on her slightly arrogant face. She pulled her hand towards the stalls.
“Boss, one serving of beef tendon balls.”
“One grilled sausage.”
“One serving of gluten.”
“One serving of squid.”
“One cart noodle.”
Yu Linna ate non-stop along the way. She felt like she had entered heaven; her mouth never stopped. And Ye Zhiyun showed no impatience, constantly buying food for her, often buying another serving right after she finished one, tirelessly.
Yu Linna ate and ate, forgetting the existence of the person behind her.
As she ate these delicacies, she thought in her heart, Lao niang’s life is really worth it. If I died just like this, that wouldn’t be bad either.
“Can you still eat?”
“Yes, yes, yes!”
“Then let’s go.”
Usually arrogant and assertive Ye Zhiyun, in front of this blonde girl, softened for a rare moment. She thought, if this girl wanted to eat all over the world, she quite wanted to take her on a trip around the world.
Why did she have this thought? She didn’t understand either. Just… wanted to do it.
Yu Linna, clearly the most annoying person, yet now she wished she could give her the whole world.
Just wanting to see the most sincere smile on her face.
If spending this little time could exchange for her smile, that wouldn’t be bad either.
“Nana, stay by my side in the future. Let’s live together. What do you say, is that okay?”
“…Okay.”
She didn’t answer directly, just gave a vague word.
“Nana, let’s go home.”
Following Ye Zhiyun, Yu Linna walked behind her, still holding the unfinished grilled gluten in her hand. Ye Zhiyun didn’t see the dimmed light beneath her eyes.
Staying by her side, living together, what beautiful words.
Yu Linna knew that was ultimately impossible.
No one would be with her, always, always like this. She was an outsider after all.
Even the best friend, the most trusted person, what then? Didn’t they ruthlessly betray her in the end, heartlessly abandoning her? No matter how good the relationship, in the face of benefits, it was forever worthless.
Yu Linna knew it. She couldn’t trust others anymore, absolutely couldn’t. She just hoped that if she was ultimately destined to be abandoned, then at least let her enjoy that brief warmth. Even if it was fake, even if it couldn’t be permanent, it was better than nothing.
Leave a Reply