Chapter 89: Bitterness in the Heart p1
Mi Hongdou finished washing up and came out. Ji Junxin was almost ready to leave. Mi Hongdou glanced at the bag of stuffed dates on the coffee table. Only a few were missing. Considering Ji Junxin’s enthusiasm for them last night, she should have eaten more this morning. At least half the bag…
When a foodie easily passed up readily available treats, something was definitely off.
Mi Hongdou looked away, pretending to look elsewhere, and glanced at Ji Junxin, who was curled up on the sofa, holding a pillow, looking sleepy.
If it were anyone else, Mi Hongdou would just assume they hadn’t slept well and had no appetite. But this was Ji Junxin. Loss of appetite due to lack of sleep was impossible for her.
Something was definitely wrong… Ji Junxin had also tossed and turned last night. She had asked, but been brushed off. Although she felt something was amiss, Mi Hongdou didn’t ask.
Even close friends had secrets. Mi Hongdou tried to convince herself, but she couldn’t help but wonder what was wrong with Ji Junxin, she had seemed fine during dinner last night.
Could the dates have gone bad overnight? Mi Hongdou thought perhaps she was overthinking, maybe it was just the food. She took a date and ate it.
The walnut inside was crispy and fragrant, not stale at all, perfect.
Mi Hongdou silently sealed the bag. Okay…
They went downstairs. Bai Tang had already bought breakfast: a sticky rice roll with pickled mustard greens, youtiao, and meat floss for Ji Junxin, one with egg, sausage, and pork tenderloin for herself, and two cups of soy milk… the same as yesterday, to compensate for Ji Junxin’s breakfast mishap.
It was difficult to hide your true feelings. Although Ji Junxin’s demeanor was normal, the half-eaten sticky rice roll spoke volumes.
Mi Hongdou remembered that when they discussed breakfast two days ago, if she hadn’t stopped her, Ji Junxin would have ordered two. Yesterday, even with the wrong filling, she had eaten almost a whole one. And today, finally having the right one, she had only eaten half?
Something was definitely wrong.
Even though she had been brushed off last night, seeing Ji Junxin put down the rice roll and wipe her mouth, Mi Hongdou couldn’t help but ask, “Just this much for breakfast?”
“…” Ji Junxin looked at Mi Hongdou, then picked up the rice roll, took a bite, and said with a faint smile, “I’ll eat a little more.”
Mi Hongdou hadn’t expected this response, her prepared words of concern now trapped in her throat.
For Ji Junxin, food had always been a constant companion, regardless of the people around her. Growing up, without an allowance, her parents rarely brought home snacks. She only had three meals a day, sometimes cold breakfast, a standard school lunch, and takeout for dinner. But regardless of the temperature, the variety, or even the taste, having a full stomach brought a sense of satisfaction, a temporary reprieve from unhappiness. A particularly delicious meal could make her happy for half a day. When emotional needs were unmet, even slightly better food was like a sweet dewdrop, a brief respite.
Food was a source of warmth and strength, a comfort against life’s disappointments. Ji Junxin believed this, so when she finally had money, her priority was satisfying her appetite. Life was unpredictable, rarely going as planned, but the comfort of good food was a constant, something to be grateful for.
Ji Junxin hadn’t expected that one day, even food wouldn’t be able to comfort her.
Having cried herself to sleep the night before, thinking she had shed all her tears for that unattainable person, she woke up to find that it was just the beginning. The ache in her heart hadn’t been soothed by tears or sleep, the rising sun only bringing more sadness, confusion, and helplessness.
She had thought that pretending to be just friends, hiding her true feelings, was already difficult. But when she took a bite of the date this morning, she realized that even her taste buds and appetite were affected. Things had truly become terrible.
Loving someone she could never be with, every bite a taste of bitterness, what was the point of living?
The sticky rice, the tender fried egg, the fragrant sausage and pork, the perfectly balanced sauces… what did they matter to Ji Junxin, who found everything bitter?
With a faint smile, she nibbled on the remaining half of the rice roll, her heart and mouth filled with bitterness, her expression seemingly normal.
If Mi Hongdou were a true newcomer, or if she hadn’t paid such close attention to Ji Junxin for so many years, she might have been fooled by Ji Junxin’s acting.
That fleeting look of… having lost interest in everything, what was it? Mi Hongdou couldn’t believe what she had just seen in Ji Junxin’s smiling eyes…
What had happened overnight?
Mi Hongdou felt that something bad must have happened to Ji Junxin, something she didn’t want to share… Although worried, she could only maintain a friendly distance, not prying too much, it was frustrating.
In the chauffeured car heading towards the set, Mi Hongdou and Ji Junxin each held a half-eaten rice roll, lost in their own thoughts, the silence stretching between them. Meanwhile, on the set, two other people were arguing loudly.
In the makeshift director’s tent, Director Pan frowned and retreated a few steps, waving his hand dismissively. “No, no! Take it away!”
“We’re alone here, just try it on! You don’t want your female lead to injure herself halfway through filming, do you?” Pan Xiang, struggling to hold the ten-pound prosthetic belly Mi Hongdou had tried on the previous day, held it out to Director Pan.
“Nonsense! I’m a man, why would I try it on!” Director Pan said, annoyed. “The props department made this based on real pregnant women. It’s a little heavier than a real belly at the same stage, since it’s tied on the outside, we have to add weight for the realistic effect. Pregnant women can carry their babies, and an actress can’t handle a padded cloth? Besides, I just lifted it, it’s just for five or six months of pregnancy, it’s probably not even as heavy as a full-term pregnancy, how can it cause an injury? Stop this nonsense and return it to the props department.”
“It’s really heavy.” Pan Xiang insisted. “You just lifted it with your hands, men are naturally stronger, of course you don’t think it’s heavy. You have to try wearing it. I think this weight is already the limit. If the later ones are even heavier, it won’t work. And you know Ji Junxin, she’s stubborn, if you insist, she’ll wear it even if it hurts, and if she injures herself, it will be a problem for everyone.”
“…” Director Pan frowned. “She’s not stupid, if she can’t handle it, she won’t force it.”
“The point is, you asked them to gradually increase the weight with rice and cotton, to make it more realistic for Ji Junxin’s performance. If the initial weight is wrong, even if we adjust it later, the gradual progression is broken, what’s the point?” Pan Xiang held out the prosthetic belly. “It’s better to get it right from the start.”
Director Pan pushed her hand away. “The props department didn’t have any problems with the weight, why are you making such a fuss? And why are you suddenly so concerned about this? Did someone tell you something?”
Pan Xiang hesitated, then quickly recovered. “I’m the screenwriter, I have to be concerned about anything that might affect the film.” She put on a righteous expression. “I’m responsible for this film, for the actors. I’m willing to try it on, as the director, shouldn’t you have the same attitude?”
“…” Director Pan was silent. He was so used to thinking of her as his granddaughter that he often forgot she was the screenwriter.
Seeing his silence, Pan Xiang sighed. It seemed her eloquence wasn’t enough, she had to bring out the delicious dates.
Just as she was about to take out the stuffed dates from her bag, Director Pan took the prosthetic belly and said calmly, “Okay, I understand. I’ll have the props department test the weight. If it’s too heavy, we’ll adjust it.”
Although he didn’t try it on, this should be what Mi Hongdou wanted, right? Pan Xiang thought that her grandfather was quite reasonable, agreeing to adjust the weight after just a little persuasion.
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