Chapter 74 p1
Li Wan had barely slept all night, her dreams a jumbled mess she couldn’t recall. She woke up with a headache, her eyes stinging, her body aching.
Staring at her reflection in the mirror, she ran her fingers through her hair in frustration, then turned on the faucet with a loud splash, starting her morning routine. Monday, a universally disliked day, was especially unwelcome to Li Wan today.
Distracted throughout her commute, despite her meticulously applied makeup, more vibrant than usual, her heart pounded with anxiety. Stepping into the elevator, she felt like she was reliving her first day at the station, fresh out of university.
As more people entered, Li Wan exchanged greetings, the elevator filling with chatter. The new management team appointments would be announced this week, and some of the more well-informed colleagues already knew the results.
Some were happy, some worried, and Li Wan, finally understanding the situation, was surprised.
“Is it confirmed that Director Yu is being promoted?” Li Wan turned to a colleague from the advertising department.
“Yes, it seems the management team held an emergency meeting over the weekend and finalized the decision, they’ll be submitting the list this week.”
It had been a rumor before, now it seemed it was about to become reality.
But this wasn’t good news for Li Wan, or for their team.
Director Yu not only lacked experience in program production, but he had also always been against their team’s focus on hard-hitting stories that often offended major sponsors. He had objected to their project proposals multiple times in the past.
If he was put in charge of their team, producing quality programs in the future would be even more difficult.
Her heart heavy, Li Wan entered the office, put down her bag, and took a deep breath to compose herself. She repeatedly told herself, It’s work time now, don’t bring your personal emotions into this.
Then, she headed towards Lin Shuangzhi’s office, she needed to discuss the implications of Director Yu’s potential promotion with the team leader.
The door was open, but the office was empty. Li Wan paused, then asked a passing colleague, “Is the team leader not in?”
“She went to a meeting early this morning, seemed to be in a hurry.”
Li Wan thought it must be about Director Yu’s matter.
Her emotions were complex, a mix of disappointment and relief. After glancing at the empty chair behind the desk a few more times, Li Wan returned to her own office.
She thought about it, then decided to inform Qin Qianrou. If Director Yu truly became the deputy station director, he would likely target them.
Qin Qianrou quickly replied that she understood, adding that she was currently in training and would call her later to discuss it in detail. Li Wan then focused on her work, but her mind couldn’t quite settle down.
By noon, Lin Shuangzhi still hadn’t returned. This was normal, her meetings were usually long, sometimes extending until the end of the workday. However, Li Wan felt like she had endured an eternity, glancing at the time to confirm it was just her own perception.
A colleague knocked on her door. “Sister Xiao Wan, going for lunch?”
Li Wan, her spirits low, leaned back in her chair and declined. “Not today, I have a lot of work to catch up on, I’ll just go to the cafeteria later.”
“Okay, let me know if you want me to bring you anything.”
Li Wan had no appetite. She pushed her work aside, her mind wandering.
She hadn’t thought she was someone whose work would be affected by her emotions, and she had thought that after her university relationship, she had become more mature. But after meeting Lin Shuangzhi, all her previous emotional control had seemed pointless.
All she could think about now was Lin Shuangzhi, she wanted to see her, yet she also didn’t want to see her.
This internal conflict tormented Li Wan. She had left so hurriedly that morning, she hadn’t had a chance to talk to Lin Shuangzhi properly.
But what could she possibly say in that situation?
Clothes scattered on the floor, the rumpled bedsheets, and the lingering ache in her thighs, what was there to discuss?
Li Wan cringed, but she hadn’t been in a hurry to leave at the time, she had simply been too shocked, too flustered to react appropriately.
Lin Shuangzhi, leaning against the headboard, after a long silence, had softly said, “I’m sorry.”
Li Wan had felt a surge of anger, pulling the blanket around her as she sat up.
Her back still ached, and other, more sensitive areas also throbbed, reminding her that their relationship was different now. But what kind of response was “I’m sorry?”
After such an intense and passionate night, all she could say was “I’m sorry?”
“Between adults, there’s no need for apologies.”
Lin Shuangzhi had glanced at the bedsheets, her expression darkening, the memories of last night weighing heavily on her. There was no trace of joy, she looked more like a child who had done something wrong, waiting to be punished.
Her face was filled with regret, she almost said she regretted it.
Li Wan was a proud person, having lost control in the heat of the moment under Lin Shuangzhi’s allure didn’t mean she would cling to her.
If her feelings weren’t reciprocated, she wouldn’t impose herself on her.
However, as she got dressed, her heart ached.
She could feel Lin Shuangzhi’s gaze upon her, she wanted her to say something, anything, but she was also afraid of hearing something even more hurtful, so she had remained silent, the silence continuing until she was fully dressed.
Lin Shuangzhi, in her pajamas, had silently followed her, her lips moving as if to speak, but no words came out.
Li Wan picked up her bag, her hand on the doorknob.
“If there’s nothing else, I’ll be going.”
Li Wan, her back to Lin Shuangzhi, bid her farewell, but her hand didn’t open the door.
“Should I… drive you home?” Lin Shuangzhi’s hesitant tone, the lingering regret in her voice, it seemed she wanted to make amends for her drunken behavior.
Li Wan’s disappointment turned into anger, but she couldn’t express it.
She bit her lip, forced a smile, and opened the door, leaving decisively. Turning around, she smiled at Lin Shuangzhi, “I can go home by myself, I’m not that fragile.”
“But last night…”
Li Wan didn’t want to be reminded of last night, it had been a turning point in her life, and she didn’t regret it being with Lin Shuangzhi. But she also didn’t want to use this to force a relationship, she didn’t need her to take responsibility or any of those cliché lines.
It was a new era, between consenting adults, there was no need to talk about responsibility. She wasn’t some object whose value decreased after being “opened.”
She was simply… sad. She had thought she would be having a loving, post-coital breakfast at the team leader’s place this morning.
Lin Shuangzhi had messaged her, asking if she had gotten home safely, and after she confirmed, had simply told her to rest well. Li Wan had waited, but there had been no further messages from Lin Shuangzhi.
This was probably the most unforgettable, and also the most frustrating, weekend of her life.
Lost in thought, she vaguely heard hurried footsteps outside, a familiar sound.
She instinctively walked out, wondering if it was Lin Shuangzhi.
As expected, before she could even speak, she saw Lin Shuangzhi rushing into her office, frantically searching through her drawers.
Li Wan hesitated, then followed her. Standing at the doorway, she knocked softly.
Lin Shuangzhi looked up, startled to see her. “Xiao Wan, why aren’t you having lunch?”
“I have too much work, I didn’t go out.”
Lin Shuangzhi responded with a simple “Oh,” then continued her search.
“What are you looking for?”
Lin Shuangzhi sighed, “An annual plan from last year, I’m sure I put it here.”
“Isn’t there a copy on your computer?”
“It’s not the content that’s important, it’s the signatures of the directors on it.”
Although Lin Shuangzhi had a lot of documents, she was very organized, but today, she was clearly flustered, having searched for a while without finding it, and Li Wan couldn’t help but walk over to help.
“Don’t worry, just calmly think about it, are you sure you put it here?”
Lin Shuangzhi looked at her, closed her eyes as instructed, thought for a moment, then went to search another drawer.
“Did the meeting go smoothly today?”
“No, it was mostly arguing.”
Li Wan was surprised, “You argued with someone?”
In her impression, the team leader wasn’t one for confrontations.
She herself had a fiery temper and often caused trouble, it was always the team leader who cleaned up after her, and she admired Lin Shuangzhi’s patience.
“It was so absurd, if I hadn’t argued, I wouldn’t even have had the chance to come back and look for this document.”
“That serious?”
Lin Shuangzhi finally found what she was looking for, rolling it up and clutching it tightly. After a moment of consideration, she softly said, “Besides the management changes, the station’s restructuring also affects our team.”
Li Wan’s expression turned grim; this wasn’t good news.
Lin Shuangzhi continued, “The station intends to transfer you and Qianrou to other departments, to work on different types of programs.”
Li Wan was furious, what did they mean by that?
Lin Shuangzhi also felt helpless, if her two most capable team members were transferred, there was no hope of producing any quality programs in the near future.
“Don’t worry, I won’t let this happen.”
Li Wan, however, was still worried, if this was truly the intention of the station directors, even Lin Shuangzhi’s resistance wouldn’t be enough.
“Alright, I have to go back to the meeting now, you go have lunch, don’t skip meals.”
“What about you?”
“I have a lunchbox.”
Lin Shuangzhi’s departure was as hurried as her arrival, her expression serious. Li Wan, watching her retreating figure, was speechless.
She had been angry, but seeing her now, all she felt was concern.
**
Qin Qianrou returned to Meng City on Friday evening. Shen Yiqiu strained her neck, looking around eagerly, and Li Wan chuckled, her arms crossed.
“Look at you, like a little monkey, so impatient, your girlfriend isn’t going anywhere.”
Shen Yiqiu glared at her; Li Wan had been acting strangely all day.
“I can’t wait to see my girlfriend, can I?”
“You can, but you’re making it seem like I don’t care about Qianrou.”
Shen Yiqiu said helplessly, “Jiejie won’t blame you.”
Li Wan felt a surge of frustration, she couldn’t understand why, besides Lin Shuangzhi, even Shen Yiqiu’s thought processes were so difficult to decipher.
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