32: Farewell to a Friend
I had made up my mind.
But sitting on the straw bed in the barn, staring blankly at the wooden ceiling, I couldn’t shake the feeling of helplessness, a chilling sense of powerlessness.
What could I do? This world was in the midst of a real war.
A war I’d thought I would never be involved in.
But I was already a participant. I stared at my hands.
I had already killed.
I could vividly recall the moment. The slight impact in my hands as I pushed them. Their dying screams.
I smiled wryly.
—How… fragile a human life is.
A faint aftertaste of guilt. A slight queasiness.
That was all I felt. I’d only had two choices.
To be killed silently.
Or to kill silently.
I had chosen the latter, and that was why I was still alive. And… I didn’t think I’d done anything wrong.
I searched my memories. Slowly, like diving into the depths of the ocean.
I could remember so much, and yet, so little.
I couldn’t remember what I was called.
Or even what I called my family.
“Bridget…”
I spoke the name. The only name I knew now. The only friend I’d made in this world.
Living in a time of peace didn’t mean being ignorant of times of war.
Books, textbooks, newspapers, television… they all told the stories. Even if it wasn’t firsthand experience, it was a conscious effort to pass on the knowledge.
For the sake of peace.
Everyone had taught me that peace was precious. That war was horrific. That war should never happen.
And yet, they also taught me that humans had repeatedly waged war.
I knew the horrors of war.
—I knew what made a war horrific.
Even now, I wanted nothing to do with war.
But there was no other choice. At least, not a choice that would satisfy me, a sweet, gentle choice.
Perhaps I could indulge in Bridget’s kindness, live quietly under her protection as her friend, until she abandoned me.
I had a feeling she would, if I asked. But I didn’t want to simply rely on her kindness.
Besides, this wasn’t someone else’s problem anymore, not even in my own world. My family and friends back in Japan were no longer safe.
The image of my younger sister flashed through my mind—and a sudden wave of nausea washed over me. I covered my mouth.
Even if I couldn’t remember her name, she was still my precious little sister. I couldn’t bear the thought of her being treated like a mere fuel tank under that cold sky, on those cold stone ramparts, then discarded when they were done with her.
…Perhaps… that had already happened.
I’d asked Bridget if there were any other humans who looked like me. She’d said, “Not that I’m aware of.” That most of the humans had been reduced to unrecognizable ashes by the offensive magic.
I, too, would have been among them.
If not for a stroke of luck.
If not for Bridget.
I wanted to believe there was meaning in my survival. I wanted to find meaning in it myself.
A knock echoed through the room.
“I’m coming in.”
I took a deep breath, lowering my hand from my mouth. I slowly suppressed the dark feelings churning within me.
“Come in, Bridget.”
The door opened, and Bridget peeked in hesitantly.
“I finally have some free time. I came to check on you.”
“Thank you. —I missed you.”
Seeing her face, I felt relieved. I’d been worried that my fragile resolve might waver.
“I see.” Bridget smiled shyly. Then, as if suddenly remembering something, her expression turned serious.
“…You seem… different.”
“Do I? Well, I have a request.”
I smiled.
“I want to meet the most important person in this nation.”
Sometime later…
Bridget and I sat facing each other before the fireplace in her room. Logs were stacked beside the hearth, a fire crackling merrily within.
Despite being a temporary accommodation, the room, as befitting the commander of the dark knights, wasn’t much different from the private room I’d initially been given. Apparently, the officers’ quarters in the fortress had been destroyed during the siege.
“When you arrive at the royal castle, show them this letter. Don’t read it.”
“I understand. It’s rude to read someone else’s letter.”
“If anything happens, mention my name. Understand?”
“Thank you.”
“…Here, take this as well.”
“What’s this? Can I read it?” She handed me a folded piece of paper.
“Yes.”
I unfolded it and read the contents aloud.
“‘By order of Bringit Finis, Commander of the Dark Knights, ensure the safety of this human.’ …? No, Bridget, you can’t do this. This is too dangerous.”
“Huh?”
“What if this falls into the hands of a human spy?”
Bridget remained silent. She must have considered that possibility. But she was overestimating my value…
“Please dispose of it. Burn it, now.”
“Alright…”
Bridget tossed the paper into the fireplace. Her kindness was consumed by the flames in seconds, reduced to ashes.
“—But if anything happens, mention my name. The name ‘Bringit Finis, Commander of the Dark Knights.’”
“I don’t want to cause you any trouble.”
“Don’t worry about it. I… I don’t want to lose a friend over something trivial.”
She smiled. I stepped closer.
“Thank you, Bridget.”
“No, thank you.”
We hugged briefly.
“I’ll be going now.”
“Yes. Take care.”
“I will.”
Bridget headed for the door, and I followed. We stepped out into the hallway.
“…Come with me.”
“Understood.”
From this moment on, Bridget and I were no longer friends.
At least, not publicly.
I was Nameless, the ‘human prisoner.’
She was Bringit Finis, the ‘Commander of the Dark Knights.’
That was who we were now.
I was going to the royal castle.
“Treat her with respect. She may be a prisoner, but she is also a guest.”
“Understood.” I was handed over to a male dark knight.
“This way. …And just so we’re clear, don’t try anything funny.”
“Yes.” I turned to Bridget one last time.
“Thank you for your… excessive kindness, Commander.” I bowed deeply.
“…I only did what was necessary.”
“Let’s go.”
“Yes…”
I glanced back one last time and waved. Bridget—Bringit Finis—didn’t change her expression.
But, ever so slightly, subtly enough that no one would notice…
She waved back.
Leave a Reply