Chapter 74
After resolving their conflict, Lin Qianqian had envisioned a passionate New Year’s Day celebration with Lu Yin.
But as she sat on the toilet, staring at the bloodstains on her underwear, it wasn’t her stomach that ached, but her head.
Her precious vacation days, now reduced to five, would be consumed by her period.
She called out to Lu Yin for tampons and clean underwear, then crawled back into bed, her earlier enthusiasm dampened.
“Does your stomach hurt?” Lu Yin asked, pouring her a glass of hot water and searching for brown sugar.
“Not my stomach. My head,” Lin Qianqian mumbled, her face buried in the pillow.
“You’ve been crying too much. Get some rest,” Lu Yin said, handing her the water. “Don’t stay up too late.”
Lin Qianqian didn’t respond, her silence a childish sulk.
Lu Yin’s hand found her stomach beneath the covers, gently massaging it.
“We could have been massaging a different area…” Lin Qianqian sighed, her hand covering Lu Yin’s, her fingers tracing the circular motions.
Lu Yin, seeing her discomfort, ignored the suggestive comment and, after a few minutes, helped her sit up and fed her the brown sugar water.
Lin Qianqian opened her mouth obediently, swallowing the warm liquid, her mood still gloomy.
“There’s something I wanted to tell you,” Lu Yin said.
“What?” Lin Qianqian asked, Lu Yin’s serious tone making her sit up, her earlier lethargy momentarily forgotten.
“But if I tell you, your head will probably hurt even more.”
Was there anything worse than her current predicament?
Lin Qianqian couldn’t imagine it.
She looked at Lu Yin, her gaze questioning. “Tell me.”
“The training course is over, but I have to go back for a few days.”
“What?!” Lin Qianqian exclaimed, clutching her stomach and falling back onto the bed dramatically. “I’m dying! I’ll die if I’m left alone! Waaaah…”
Lu Yin didn’t call her out on her fake tears, but she couldn’t offer any comfort either.
She was the lead instructor for the course, and she couldn’t just abandon her responsibilities, leaving before the program ended.
Lin Qianqian, her hand still dramatically clutching her perfectly fine stomach, couldn’t understand why Lu Yin was adding to her misery, her period woes now compounded by the prospect of Lu Yin’s departure.
Her emotional capacity had already been reached, and now, she was being forced to confront another potential separation, her insecurities resurfacing.
But it was Lu Yin’s job, and she couldn’t forbid her from going.
After a few minutes of quiet sulking, she sat up, took Lu Yin’s hand, and looked at her, her eyes pleading. “When will you be back?”
“The sixth, maybe.”
“But I have to go back to work on the sixth.”
“The students start school on the seventh,” Lu Yin explained.
“That’s longer than your last trip.”
Lu Yin looked at her, not wanting to explain that her presence at the beginning and end of the training course was already an exception.
As the lead instructor, she was expected to be there throughout the program.
But the training courses were always scheduled during holidays, to avoid conflicts with the regular school schedule, and a full week off was a rare luxury.
“What time are you leaving tomorrow?” Lin Qianqian asked.
“In the morning.”
“So I might wake up and you’ll be gone…”
Lu Yin massaged her stomach gently. “Is it still hurting?”
“That’s not the point,” Lin Qianqian said, her voice a mournful whine, like a puppy abandoned by its owner. “Can I stay up all night?”
She wanted to keep Lu Yin in her sight, afraid of waking up alone.
“No,” Lu Yin said, looking at her, seeing her genuine distress.
She finally relented. “If you go to bed early, I’ll consider taking you with me.”
Lin Qianqian’s eyes widened, her earlier sadness replaced by a sudden surge of hope.
She vaguely remembered considering this before, but she hadn’t known anyone at the institution, and Lu Yin had been busy with work. It would have been boring.
But now, she didn’t want to be alone, not during the holidays.
If she stayed home, she wouldn’t see Lu Yin. If she went with her, they could at least be together, sleep in the same bed.
Lu Yin knew she would agree.
She wanted Lin Qianqian to get out of the house, to have some fun, to distract herself from her recent emotional turmoil.
She had been crying too much lately, and it worried Lu Yin.
Lin Qianqian’s relief was quickly followed by a surge of indignation.
She didn’t like this manipulative tactic, the carrot and stick approach.
“You’ll consider it?” she scoffed. “I’ll consider it! I’m not sure I want to go with you!”
“Then take your time and think about it,” Lu Yin said, lying down on the bed. “Let me know before I start packing.”
“Hey!” Lin Qianqian exclaimed, leaning over Lu Yin. “Your flight is tomorrow morning! When are you packing? Aren’t you packing now? I can’t wake up early!”
Lu Yin ignored her, closing her eyes, feigning sleep.
Lin Qianqian pulled her up.
“Pack now,” she said, her voice a playful whine, then went to retrieve her suitcase, only to realize she had left it at the hotel.
As she headed towards the door, Lu Yin pulled her back.
“Lie down,” she said, frowning.
She knew Lin Qianqian liked sleeping naked, but even with the heater on, it wasn’t appropriate to wander around the apartment like that.
Lin Qianqian sat on the bed, hugging herself dramatically, then Lu Yin tucked her in, pulling the duvet up to her chin.
“You were just complaining about your stomach hurting, and now you’re acting up again,” Lu Yin said, retrieving the suitcase and turning on the light.
“I just can’t wake up early,” Lin Qianqian said, deflecting the blame. “And if you pack early in the morning, you’ll wake me up!”
Lu Yin ignored her, her focus on packing.
“Then hand me my pajamas. I’m getting dressed.”
The pajamas were within easy reach, but Lin Qianqian, leaning against the pillows, simply looked at Lu Yin, her gaze a silent demand.
Lu Yin tossed the pajamas at her, and Lin Qianqian quickly got dressed, then went to her own room to retrieve the clothes she wanted to take with her.
Seeing the empty space in Lu Yin’s suitcase, she asked, “Is that all you’re taking?”
“There’s a dryer at the retreat center. No need to pack too much,” Lu Yin said.
“Can I put my clothes in your suitcase too?” Lin Qianqian asked, her laziness resurfacing.
She rarely traveled, and she hated carrying heavy luggage. Having someone else do it for her would be ideal.
And Lu Yin was the perfect candidate.
“I have to pack a lot of materials and artwork,” Lu Yin said, removing the clothes Lin Qianqian had thrown into her suitcase.
It was the last training course before the Spring Festival, and she had to distribute the students’ artwork and progress reports.
The new students would start after the holidays, and the current students wouldn’t be returning to the institution after the retreat.
It was easier to bring the materials to the retreat center than to have the students come back to the institution to collect them individually.
“But I can carry two suitcases, if you want,” Lu Yin offered.
Lin Qianqian grinned, kissing Lu Yin’s cheek. “That would be perfect!”
She watched as Lu Yin neatly folded her clothes and placed them in a separate suitcase, her mind already imagining their time at the retreat center.
She had heard that training retreats were intense, the workload heavy, even more demanding than finals week.
She heard the sound of the suitcase closing.
Lu Yin placed the two suitcases by the wall, and Lin Qianqian immediately clung to her, refusing to let go.
Lu Yin let her, assuming she wouldn’t try anything during her period.
But as Lin Qianqian’s hand moved to her collarbone, her fingers tracing the delicate skin, Lu Yin sighed and carried her to the bed.
“Lie down,” she said, her voice a warning.
Lin Qianqian’s arms remained around Lu Yin’s neck, and Lu Yin, careful not to crush her, supported her weight with her arms.
“Sister, give me a goodnight kiss,” Lin Qianqian whispered.
Lu Yin, too tired for games, kissed her cheek and pulled away.
Lin Qianqian, her plan working perfectly, turned her head and kissed Lu Yin’s lips, her embrace tightening.
“Behave,” Lu Yin said, exasperated by Lin Qianqian’s relentless pursuit of her affection, her complete disregard for boundaries, for propriety.
“I just arrived! We haven’t even had any time together!” Lin Qianqian protested. “What if you’re too busy at the retreat? What if I spend the entire week alone in the hotel room? That would be even more boring than staying home!”
“And we haven’t…you know…in days…”
She should have taken advantage of their time at the hotel, instead of wasting time and money on an empty room.
And it had been expensive. She hadn’t even asked Lu Yin for reimbursement yet.
“Be quiet,” Lu Yin said, her voice a warning.
Lin Qianqian, seeing her expression darken, relented, releasing her hold and moving to the far side of the bed, her body pressed against the cold wall.
Lu Yin, seeing her retreat, her usual bravado replaced by a childish sulk, knew she couldn’t resist her, her need for attention, for reassurance, a powerful force.
Lin Qianqian turned over, facing the wall.
Lu Yin pulled her back and kissed her, her kiss demanding, possessive, a punishment for her earlier teasing.
Lin Qianqian’s eyes opened, her gaze meeting Lu Yin’s, a silent challenge, a refusal to yield.
But Lu Yin broke the kiss, lying down beside her, her body still, her touch withdrawn.
Lin Qianqian had experienced this before, Lu Yin’s sudden coldness after a passionate encounter, her withdrawal a frustrating, almost cruel, form of control.
It always worked, her own desire for Lu Yin’s touch, her affection, making her vulnerable, her only recourse to appease Lu Yin, to earn her forgiveness, her love.
She crawled back towards Lu Yin, poking her gently. “Sister…”
Lu Yin didn’t respond, her eyes closed.
Lin Qianqian poked her again, but still no reaction.
She sighed, defeated, and lay down, staring at the ceiling, the dim light casting long shadows, her mood as gloomy as the winter sky outside.
Everything felt heavy, her body, her heart, even the tampon between her legs, a constant reminder of her own physical limitations, her vulnerability.
If she could go back, she wouldn’t have wasted her money on that expensive hotel room, her plans unfulfilled, her desires unmet.
She closed her eyes, her frustration turning to a quiet resentment. This had been the worst New Year ever.
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