Chapter 70
To find Lu Yin, Lin Qianqian went to the art institution, cautiously peeking inside before entering.
Lu Yin’s desk wasn’t by the window, so she couldn’t see her from outside. She looked through the office door.
Only one teacher was there.
“Hello, can I help you?” the teacher asked, looking up.
“I…” Lin Qianqian, caught in the act, said, “I’m looking for Teacher Lu Yin. Is she here?”
“She’s on duty today,” the teacher said, smiling. “She was here earlier, but I’m not sure where she is now.”
Lin Qianqian thanked her and went to check the dorm rooms, but Lu Yin’s door was locked.
She wasn’t there either.
Lin Qianqian sat down on the steps outside, wondering if she should call Lu Yin.
But Lu Yin had been cold and distant that morning, a stark contrast to her gentle words the previous night, and Lin Qianqian wasn’t ready to give up the upper hand so easily.
She wouldn’t call, wouldn’t message. If Lu Yin contacted her, she would pretend not to see it, her pride demanding a reciprocal display of indifference.
But the snow hadn’t melted yet, and even at midday, the air was cold.
She shivered, pulling her jacket tighter.
The teacher from the office came outside and, seeing her sitting there alone, invited her in.
Even though she didn’t know the details of their relationship, the gossip mill at the institution was efficient, and everyone knew Lu Yin had a younger sister she cared about deeply.
And Lu Yin wasn’t one for casual acquaintances. It was obvious who this girl was.
Lin Qianqian, unsure when Lu Yin would return, gratefully accepted the offer, the warmth of the office a welcome relief from the cold.
The teacher poured her a glass of hot water and turned up the heater.
“Where did my sister go?” Lin Qianqian asked, then realized her slip-up, but didn’t bother correcting herself. The teacher’s knowing smile indicated she was already aware of their relationship.
“I’m not sure. It’s lunchtime. She’s probably eating,” the teacher said. “You can message her.”
Lin Qianqian nodded, but didn’t reach for her phone, her gaze scanning the office, landing on the wall of teacher photos.
Should she save Zhong Shiwu’s number? She wanted to ask about Ming Yao.
But doing so behind Lu Yin’s back would only cause more trouble.
Why is she so jealous? Lin Qianqian thought, a smile playing on her lips, as she entered the number into her phone.
She stared at the photos, her gaze lingering on Zhong Shiwu’s.
“Saving my number?” Zhong Shiwu asked, standing at the doorway.
Lin Qianqian jumped up, hiding her phone behind her back. “Dr. Zhong.”
“It’s too cold to leave the door open. You’ll catch a cold,” Zhong Shiwu said, closing the door behind her. “Teacher Song, I brought you a coffee.”
“How did you know I was on duty today?” the teacher asked, taking the coffee.
Zhong Shiwu glanced at Lin Qianqian, smiling. “I guessed. Was I right?”
Everyone at the institution was used to her playful banter, her teasing remarks. The teacher simply smiled and returned to her work.
Zhong Shiwu’s attention finally shifted to Lin Qianqian, whom she had deliberately ignored upon entering.
She sat down opposite Lin Qianqian, her gaze assessing. “Why are you saving my number?”
The direct question made Lin Qianqian feel a flicker of guilt, her usual bravado fading.
She had always been intimidated by Zhong Shiwu’s presence, her sharp intellect, her penetrating gaze. And with Lu Yin gone, she had no one to hide behind.
But she had nothing to hide, so she answered honestly. “I wanted to meet with Ming Yao, but I can’t reach her. Her phone is off, and she hasn’t been replying to my messages. I thought you might be able to help.”
“That’s the institution’s number. It won’t do you any good. I’m not involved with the administrative work anymore,” Zhong Shiwu said. “As for my personal number…”
Lin Qianqian looked at her expectantly.
“I can’t give that out either. Why don’t you ask Lu Yin?”
“No way!” Lin Qianqian exclaimed, her voice rising slightly, then she took a sip of water, trying to appear calm.
Asking Lu Yin for another woman’s number was practically asking for trouble.
The memory of her last spanking was still fresh, her embarrassment a painful reminder. She couldn’t push Lu Yin too far, not yet.
“Then I can’t help you,” Zhong Shiwu said, feigning regret. “I was actually here to see Lu Yin, but it seems you’re here instead.”
Lin Qianqian noticed Zhong Shiwu was only carrying a single cup of coffee. Something didn’t add up, but she couldn’t quite figure it out.
Lu Yin was being distant, and she probably wouldn’t be home early anyway, so Lin Qianqian decided to make the most of her time at the institution.
“Dr. Zhong, do you know where Ming Yao is?”
“She’s at the hospital. Working,” Zhong Shiwu said, seeing through her pretense. “Do you want to see her?”
“Is that allowed?” Lin Qianqian asked, holding up her phone. “I’ll tell my sister. She’ll know where I am.”
Zhong Shiwu looked at her for a moment, a flicker of sympathy in her eyes. Lin Qianqian was walking right into a trap.
She didn’t want to disappoint her, but the thought of Lu Yin’s reaction made her hesitate.
Then she remembered Lu Yin’s visit that morning, her questions about the Su family, her thinly veiled accusations.
Perhaps she should nudge Lin Qianqian in the right direction, encourage her to be more proactive.
“I’ll take you,” she said, speaking to the teacher and then leading Lin Qianqian out of the office.
Lin Qianqian’s face lit up, and she wrapped her scarf tightly around her neck, following Zhong Shiwu to the car.
Zhong Shiwu opened the back door, and Lin Qianqian hesitated, unsure if she should get in.
She had never been alone with Zhong Shiwu before, and sitting in the back seemed disrespectful, but Zhong Shiwu had opened the rear passenger door.
“Qianqian?”
Lin Qianqian looked up and saw Ming Yao in the front passenger seat. “Ming Yao!” she exclaimed, her earlier hesitation forgotten as she got into the car.
“You came with Dr. Zhong?” she asked, surprised. “It’s been a while!”
“I was helping her with a patient,” Ming Yao said. “We just finished. We’re going back to the hospital for lunch.”
Zhong Shiwu got in the car and looked at Ming Yao. “Do you want to sit in the back?”
“Yes,” Ming Yao said, getting out of the car and joining Lin Qianqian in the back seat.
Ming Yao seemed much more lively than before, her earlier quietness replaced by a more familiar energy.
Lin Qianqian was surprised by the change, but glad to see her friend looking healthier, happier.
They arrived at the hospital, and Zhong Shiwu went to her office, while Lin Qianqian and Ming Yao had lunch in the hospital cafeteria. The food was bland but nutritious.
Ming Yao talked about her new job, her daily routine, carefully avoiding any mention of Zhong Shiwu’s more…unconventional methods, assuring Lin Qianqian that she was happy, that everything was fine.
After lunch, they went to the records room next to Zhong Shiwu’s office.
“Here are some recent patient files. Please organize them,” Zhong Shiwu said, handing Lin Qianqian a stack of folders.
Ming Yao nodded.
Lin Qianqian watched her work, then, when Zhong Shiwu left the room, she lowered her voice. “Don’t you even get a break during the holidays?”
“The holidays aren’t that special,” Ming Yao said, sorting through the files. “And Dr. Zhong didn’t go abroad this year. She’s staying here with me. I would have been alone otherwise. It’s good to be busy.”
“What are your plans?” Lin Qianqian asked.
“I’m not sure yet. Dr. Zhong says I’m not fully recovered yet. I’m hoping to find a job after the New Year,” Ming Yao said, thinking. “Something related to my major, though I’m not sure about the job market here.”
She couldn’t work for the Ming family. Ming Yi, besides providing for her expenses, had made it clear she wasn’t welcome in the family business.
But she still wanted to have a plan, a purpose.
Lin Qianqian, supportive of her friend’s ambition, picked up a file and placed it in a folder, then paused, noticing the name on the form. “Is this my sister’s file?”
She hesitated. “Can I look at this? Isn’t this a breach of patient confidentiality?”
Ming Yao glanced at the security camera, then at Lin Qianqian, her gaze a silent warning, taking the file and placing it in the folder.
She had to be more careful. Zhong Shiwu wouldn’t be pleased.
Lin Qianqian’s curiosity was piqued. She wanted to ask Zhong Shiwu about Lu Yin’s condition.
She had been diligently supervising Lu Yin’s medication intake, but she hadn’t accompanied her to any of her appointments, and she was worried.
She didn’t want to put Ming Yao in a difficult position, so she went to Zhong Shiwu’s office.
Zhong Shiwu was with a patient, but she saw Lin Qianqian pacing outside her door, and she knew Lin Qianqian had seen the file, the one she had deliberately placed there.
A few minutes later, after the patient left, she looked at Lin Qianqian, who was sitting in the waiting area.
“Can I…” Lin Qianqian began, her hand raised, “can I ask about my sister’s condition? When was her last appointment? How many times has she been here? Is she doing okay? I’ve been making sure she takes her medication, every single dose!”
“So many questions. Which one should I answer?” Zhong Shiwu asked, smiling, her voice gentle. “Come in.”
Lin Qianqian sat down in the consultation room, a strange sense of déjà vu washing over her.
A patient file sat on the desk, but the name wasn’t Lu Yin’s.
Probably the previous patient, she thought.
“We don’t disclose patient information, but since you’re family, I can tell you some things,” Zhong Shiwu said, her hands clasped together on the desk, her gaze fixed on Lin Qianqian’s face.
Lin Qianqian looked down, avoiding her eyes.
“You seem nervous,” Zhong Shiwu said. “Would you like some candy?”
“Sure,” Lin Qianqian forced a smile.
Zhong Shiwu offered her a few chocolate liqueur candies. “Ming Yao likes these.”
Lin Qianqian unwrapped one and ate it, her gaze darting around the room. “My sister…she’s doing much better now, right?”
“Do you know what she was like before?”
The question startled Lin Qianqian.
She didn’t know, and Lu Yin would never tell her.
Her only glimpse of Lu Yin’s true state had been that night, in the loft, the painting a stark reminder of Lu Yin’s hidden pain, her suppressed desires.
Perhaps that’s how Lu Yin had spent every night of the past four years, her loneliness a constant torment.
“I don’t know,” Lin Qianqian said quietly, her voice filled with a sudden sadness. She was always quick to admit her mistakes, especially when it came to Lu Yin.
She had wanted to get closer to Lu Yin, to understand her, but after all this time, she still knew so little.
“It’s okay. It’s never too late to make the right decision,” Zhong Shiwu said gently. “But first, tell me, what do you want to know?”
Lin Qianqian had been asked this question before, more than once.
This was the third time.
She didn’t want to hesitate anymore, her gaze meeting Zhong Shiwu’s. “What happened to my sister after she moved out? She must have been suffering, wasn’t she?”
Zhong Shiwu’s smile faded. “Do you think Lu Yin wants you to know?”
“Yes, I think she does,” Lin Qianqian said, her voice firm. “I should know everything about her.”
She would share Lu Yin’s pain, kiss every wound, every scar.
“Have you had any conflicts? I want you to tell me everything,” Zhong Shiwu said, locking the door. “Every detail.”
Lin Qianqian hesitated, the memory of that night, the feeling of suffocation, a visceral reminder of Lu Yin’s darkness.
Zhong Shiwu listened patiently for twenty minutes, then offered her a tissue.
“Drowning…the water fills your lungs, your throat, your nose, you can’t breathe, you struggle, but your body is weak, you can’t move…” she paused, her gaze meeting Lin Qianqian’s. “Have you ever felt that way?”
Lin Qianqian shook her head instinctively. She had never drowned.
Then, a sudden realization. “It’s like that night…the feeling of suffocation…but…”
“Similar, isn’t it? It’s a fitting punishment,” Zhong Shiwu said, her voice cold. “If you hurt someone, you should suffer the same fate.”
Lin Qianqian’s eyes widened, her tears flowing freely. “You mean, Sister…”
“I’ve given her many frames. She doesn’t usually like gifts, but she always used them for that painting,” Zhong Shiwu said, her words a carefully placed seed, a subtle manipulation. “The one I saw…you were wearing a white shirt and blue jeans. You looked so young, so full of life.”
Lu Yin wouldn’t show anyone the altered painting, the one that reflected her own twisted desires. That’s why she hadn’t used the new frames.
After her secret had been exposed, she had hidden it away, her shame a heavy burden.
Everyone had secrets, but Lu Yin’s priority wasn’t hiding her own darkness, but protecting Lin Qianqian’s innocence, her light.
She had unintentionally hurt Lin Qianqian, even though the figure in her dreams was just an illusion, a ghost, and she couldn’t forgive herself, couldn’t make amends, so she had punished herself instead, inflicting the same pain, the same suffering.
“The painting is ruined now…” Lin Qianqian said, wiping her tears with her sleeve, the fabric damp and stained.
“The real person has returned. Her faith can be restored,” Zhong Shiwu said, smiling faintly. “It’s pathetic, isn’t it? Placing all your hope in a lifeless image.”
“She’s not pathetic! Not at all!” Lin Qianqian exclaimed, her voice rising in protest, her loyalty to Lu Yin fierce and unwavering. “She’ll get better! She’s already better! She’s always been strong!”
Zhong Shiwu, accustomed to such outbursts from her younger patients, simply nodded. “It’s just a figure of speech.”
“No, it’s not!” Lin Qianqian insisted.
“Fine,” Zhong Shiwu said, handing her another tissue.
Lin Qianqian sat down, her composure returning, taking the tissue as a sign of truce. “What can I do?” she asked, her voice calmer now.
“I can only diagnose and treat the patient. I can offer guidance, medication,” Zhong Shiwu said, her gaze meeting Lin Qianqian’s. “But your relationship with her…that’s something you have to figure out on your own.”
“But she won’t tell me anything…I don’t know what to do…”
Lin Qianqian’s voice trembled, her eyes filling with tears again.
If things had gone as planned, they would be reheating their New Year’s Eve dinner, enjoying a leisurely afternoon together, perhaps going out for a walk.
Not here, in a hospital, on New Year’s Day, her heart aching with worry, her tears a testament to her helplessness.
“You’re her sister. Shouldn’t you understand her better than anyone?” Zhong Shiwu had brought Lin Qianqian here, not to control Lu Yin’s treatment, but to empower her, to encourage her to take charge.
Every relationship was different, especially theirs, its complexities defying simple definitions.
And sometimes, recovery wasn’t about medical diagnoses, but about the patient’s emotional state, their willingness to embrace life, to find joy, to connect with others.
As a friend, as Lu Sui’s friend, she couldn’t reach Lu Yin, her words of comfort, her expressions of concern, falling on deaf ears.
Only Lin Qianqian had that power, her love a lifeline, her presence a source of strength. Zhong Shiwu’s role, as Lu Yin’s psychiatrist, was limited to medication, to managing the symptoms, not the underlying cause.
“Slow and steady wins the race. Persistence pays off,” she said, her voice soft, the clichés a gentle reminder of the power of love, of hope. “It’s an old saying, but it’s true, isn’t it?”
“I’ll do it,” Lin Qianqian said, her words a promise, not just to Zhong Shiwu, but to herself.
She would find a way to break through Lu Yin’s defenses, to understand her pain, to share her burden.
If Lu Yin refused to listen, she would be relentless, her presence a constant force, her love an unwavering flame.
She still didn’t understand Lu Yin’s sudden coldness, her evasiveness, the secrets she kept hidden.
But she didn’t care. She would be selfish, demanding Lu Yin’s attention, her love, her heart.
“Lu Yin is already home,” Zhong Shiwu said, revealing Lu Yin’s lie. “She wasn’t on duty at the institution.”
Lin Qianqian sniffled, cursing Lu Yin’s effortless deception.
After seeing Lin Qianqian off, Zhong Shiwu received a message with the background check on Su.
She scanned it quickly, a low whistle escaping her lips. “Tax evasion…this is going to be messy.”
She retrieved Lu Yin’s file from her drawer, the latest results consistent with the previous ones.
Lu Yin’s condition was stable. She was functioning normally.
As long as Lin Qianqian was safe, Lu Yin would be fine.
But if Lin Qianqian were to be harmed, Lu Yin’s darker impulses, her need for revenge, would resurface.
Zhong Shiwu didn’t want to judge. She just wanted everyone to be safe, to be happy.
Lin Qianqian took a taxi home and called Lu Yin, but there was no answer.
She thought about how to handle this, how to make Lu Yin acknowledge her, her feelings, her presence.
Perhaps…
She would disappear. Just for a little while.
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