Chapter 38
Lin Qianqian had cried in front of Lu Yin countless times, for countless reasons.
But this was only the second time she had pleaded with Lu Yin, tears streaming down her face.
Lu Yin remembered the first time vividly. Four years ago, as she packed her bags, preparing to leave, Lin Qianqian had begged her to stay.
“Don’t leave me, Sister…”
The memory merging with the present, Lu Yin was speechless.
She gently stroked Lin Qianqian’s hair, a sense of relief washing over her, the answer she had been searching for finally within reach.
And it had been four years.
No more avoidance, no more hiding. Lin Qianqian had finally expressed her true feelings, openly and honestly.
“I won’t leave,” Lu Yin said softly.
“Are you hurt?” Lin Qianqian pulled away, her gaze searching Lu Yin’s face, her body, for any sign of injury. “We should get you checked out…”
“I’m fine,” Lu Yin shook her head. “Why are you crying so much?”
“I was just worried,” Lin Qianqian said, looping her arm through Lu Yin’s, relieved she was unharmed. “I wouldn’t care if it was anyone else.”
Lu Yin’s eyes softened. “Let’s go home.”
Lin Qianqian held her hand tightly, afraid to let go, her steps small and hesitant.
In the car, Lu Yin wiped Lin Qianqian’s face with a wet wipe.
Her tears had dried, leaving streaks on her cheeks, her eyes red and puffy, her appearance almost childlike.
The air was cold, the moisture from her tears clinging to her skin.
“Are you cold?” Lu Yin asked, gently touching the corner of her eye, adjusting her collar.
Lin Qianqian shook her head, her mind still reeling from her emotional outburst. She glanced at the cake box in her lap.
“I asked them to add a layer of green grass and a small deer-shaped chocolate,” Lu Yin said. “Is that what you wanted?”
Lin Qianqian’s voice caught in her throat. “I like anything you buy, Sister.”
She paused, then pointed at the cake. “But I love this one.”
Lu Yin chuckled, noticing a flash of red on Lin Qianqian’s wrist as she moved her hand.
She took Lin Qianqian’s wrist, seeing a tangled piece of red rope, the ends frayed, the knots messy.
Lin Qianqian quickly pulled her hand away.
“Where did you get that?” Lu Yin asked, her eyes twinkling with amusement, already knowing the answer.
“I…I don’t know…” Lin Qianqian tugged at the rope, trying to remove it.
But the knots were tight, the rope digging into her skin.
“You don’t know?” Lu Yin asked again.
“I don’t know is I don’t know! Why do you keep asking…?” Lin Qianqian’s blush deepened.
Lu Yin gently took her wrist again, her grip firm as Lin Qianqian tried to pull away.
She found the knot and untied the tangled mess, rubbing Lin Qianqian’s reddened skin. “Do you like this?” she asked casually.
“What?” Lin Qianqian asked, then, realizing what Lu Yin meant, quickly replied, “No!”
Who would admit to liking that?
It was just a silly attempt to get Lu Yin’s attention.
Lu Yin held her wrist, opening the picture on her phone.
“Consider yourself rescued?” she asked, holding the phone just out of Lin Qianqian’s reach.
“No!” Lin Qianqian protested. “You didn’t rescue me.”
She looked at her wrist. “This doesn’t count either!”
“Fine,” Lu Yin said. “Then I’ll rescue you next time.”
“Okay,” Lin Qianqian agreed without thinking, then realized her mistake. “There is no next time…”
“Don’t you want to play this game anymore?” Lu Yin asked, looking at her.
Lin Qianqian’s hand patted the cake box absently. “It’s not that…”
She had been arguing with Lu Yin about something ridiculous.
She could never win against Lu Yin in these situations, resorting to childish tantrums. She pursed her lips and fell silent.
“Why aren’t you talking?” Lu Yin asked, seeing her quiet.
“It’s my birthday. You’re not allowed to say anything I don’t want to hear, including what you just said!” Lin Qianqian declared, using her birthday as leverage.
She was feeling generous. She wouldn’t make Lu Yin her servant for the day.
“Which part don’t you want me to repeat?” Lu Yin asked, starting the car, waiting for her answer.
“You’re doing this on purpose…” Lin Qianqian muttered, still confused by Lu Yin’s behavior.
She had thought Lu Yin had been moved by her confession, but now, she was back to her usual teasing.
But saying those words aloud had been liberating.
“From now on, you can only say things I want to hear!”
“Like what?” Lu Yin asked, driving out of the parking garage.
“Like, ‘I love you,’ or ‘I’ll work hard and support you forever,’ or ‘Let’s sleep together tonight,’” Lin Qianqian offered a few examples.
“You already said those things,” Lu Yin said, smiling. “I heard you.”
“I’m talking about you!” Lin Qianqian said, her voice firm. “It’s my birthday. Don’t try to change the subject!”
“I’ll do as you say.”
Lin Qianqian froze, clutching the cake box, her throat tightening.
Tears welled up in her eyes, dripping onto the plastic bag.
She was so pathetic.
Lu Yin hadn’t even said anything meaningful, just agreed with her childish demands, and she was already overwhelmed with emotion.
“Are you serious…?” she asked, her voice barely a whisper, afraid of the answer.
“You think I’m lying?” Lu Yin asked, accelerating slightly, eager to get home. “Then I take it back.”
“No, I believe you…” Lin Qianqian rubbed her eyes, wiping the tears from the plastic bag, but they kept coming.
She wanted to hear more, wanted confirmation of Lu Yin’s past feelings.
But she knew she couldn’t push it.
They arrived home. Lu Yin carried the cake, her hand holding Lin Qianqian’s, their steps lighter than they had been at the hospital.
The late autumn sky darkened quickly.
“Dinner first, or candles?” Lu Yin asked, placing the cake on the table.
Lin Qianqian, standing silently behind her, suddenly jumped forward, her arms wrapping around Lu Yin’s neck, her toes barely touching the ground.
“Sister, kiss me,” she whispered.
Lu Yin obliged, her hands on Lin Qianqian’s waist, steadying her, her lips brushing against Lin Qianqian’s.
A quick, fleeting kiss.
Lin Qianqian whined, unsatisfied.
Lu Yin patted her head. “Aren’t you hungry?”
“Yes,” Lin Qianqian said, pulling her towards the bedroom. “But I want something else first.”
Lu Yin, seeing her intentions, lifted her onto the table and kissed her again.
Lin Qianqian looked up at her, Lu Yin’s eyes soft and warm, like a spring morning.
A single glance, and she was lost.
She kissed Lu Yin back, her own kiss demanding, insistent, reminding Lu Yin who was in charge today.
Lu Yin’s tongue traced her lips, their breaths mingling, the kiss deepening.
Lin Qianqian’s mind went blank, the proximity of Lu Yin’s face, the intensity of the kiss, erasing all thoughts of the bedroom, the bed.
When Lu Yin pulled away to open the cake box, Lin Qianqian finally got off the table.
She watched as Lu Yin took out the number candles, 2 and 4, and reached out to stop her. “Sister…”
“What?”
“Can we use 1 and 9 instead?” Lin Qianqian asked, unsure if Lu Yin would agree. She wanted to continue where they had left off, before her nineteenth birthday, before their separation.
Lu Yin didn’t reply, but she understood.
She replaced the candles without hesitation.
The lights were turned off, the only illumination coming from the setting sun and the flickering candles, their soft glow highlighting their faces. Lin Qianqian felt closer to Lu Yin now.
She wasn’t the aloof, solitary deer anymore, but rather a creature of warmth and light, finally turning towards the sun.
Lin Qianqian closed her eyes, her hands clasped together.
“First wish, I wish for Sister to be safe and healthy.”
“Second wish, I wish for Sister to be with me forever.”
“Third wish…”
She finally opened her eyes.
“—I wish for Sister to have always loved me, now and forever.”
The question she couldn’t ask, she offered as a wish, hoping it would somehow come true.
She hugged Lu Yin. “Sister, will my wishes come true?” she asked, her voice filled with a childlike hope.
All her wishes depended on Lu Yin.
Lu Yin smiled. “They will.”
“Then I have one more birthday request.”
“What?”
“Sleep with me.”
Lu Yin readily agreed.
After dinner, Lin Qianqian carried her pillow to Lu Yin’s room.
Lying in bed, listening to the sounds from the bathroom, she couldn’t understand.
They were close now, intimate. Shouldn’t they be taking things further than just kissing?
Why was Lu Yin so hesitant?
She had tried everything: flirting, stealing kisses, even the embarrassing rope incident. Lu Yin knew how she felt.
Why wasn’t she responding?
She removed her clothes, inhaling the scent of Lu Yin’s pillow, her mind racing.
Lu Yin returned to the bedroom, seeing the pajamas folded neatly on the chair, and knew Lin Qianqian was sleeping naked again.
She was used to it, placing the pajamas on the back of the chair and lying down beside Lin Qianqian, who immediately snuggled close, her bare skin warm against Lu Yin’s.
Lu Yin shivered as the cold air rushed in.
“Sister, take your clothes off…” Lin Qianqian whispered, her hand sliding under Lu Yin’s pajama top. “Do you understand what I mean by ‘sleeping together’…?”
“I didn’t agree to that as your birthday present,” Lu Yin said, stopping her hand. “Go to sleep. It’s a work night.”
She paused, then asked, “How long have you been off work?”
“Why do you care?” Lin Qianqian nuzzled Lu Yin’s neck, kissing her softly. “I hate working.”
Lin Qianqian was about to check the time, but she was sure it wasn’t midnight yet. She tugged at Lu Yin’s collar. “It’s not midnight yet! You’re saying things I don’t want to hear again!”
“Fine, I won’t say anything,” Lu Yin said, her exhaustion catching up with her.
Holding Lin Qianqian close, she felt her resolve weakening.
Lin Qianqian’s leg slid between hers, her knee resting against Lu Yin’s thigh, her arms tightening around Lu Yin’s waist.
“Sister…” she whispered, her voice soft and clingy.
Lu Yin frowned, kissing her lips softly.
Lin Qianqian had thought it was the beginning, but it was just a goodnight kiss.
In the darkness, she saw Lu Yin’s eyes close.
“I hit my knee today. It really hurts,” she said.
Lu Yin’s eyes fluttered open. “Is it bad?”
“It’s all red and swollen. But I was too worried about you to look closely.”
Lin Qianqian was trying to guilt Lu Yin, hoping to exploit her concern.
“Here?” Lu Yin asked, her hand finding Lin Qianqian’s knee under the covers, gently massaging it.
“No, the other leg.”
“Then bring it over,” Lu Yin said, unable to reach with Lin Qianqian’s leg between hers. “We should put some ice on it. Otherwise, it’ll bruise.”
“Then give me your hand,” Lin Qianqian said, taking Lu Yin’s hand and guiding it to her other leg.
Lu Yin’s fingers brushed against the cotton fabric of Lin Qianqian’s underwear and quickly retreated.
“Hey! Where are you touching?” Lin Qianqian giggled, interpreting it as a sign of Lu Yin’s own desire.
Lu Yin sighed, her head throbbing. “Hurry up. It’s late.”
“Fine…” Lin Qianqian said, feigning disappointment, placing Lu Yin’s hand back on her leg, over her underwear.
“Right here, Sister. Massage it for me.”
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