Chapter 23 p1
Lin Qianqian had fantasized countless times about their reunion, their reconciliation sealed with a gentle kiss.
She would hold Lu Yin tightly, whispering how much she had missed her.
But the brief kiss had shattered the dam of her suppressed emotions, and she craved more.
She wanted more than just a kiss. She wanted to hold Lu Yin, to be held, to be touched.
But she had no right, no courage. All she could do was steal a kiss while Lu Yin was drunk and asleep.
Lin Qianqian licked her lips, her gaze lingering on Lu Yin’s face.
Lu Yin didn’t react. The alcohol had dulled her senses.
Afraid of being discovered, Lin Qianqian quickly retreated, wiping the moisture from Lu Yin’s lips and hurrying back to her room.
Lying in bed, she could hear the frantic beating of her own heart.
She buried her face in the pillow, unwilling to face the reality of her situation.
Was there anything more painful than unrequited love?
It seemed not.
Especially when the object of her affection clearly disliked her.
She had fallen for someone who wanted nothing to do with her.
Lin Qianqian felt like a masochist, clinging to Lu Yin despite her repeated rejections.
If Lu Yin confronted her in the morning, she would declare boldly, “I’ll take responsibility!”
What was she going to do?
She didn’t want to leave.
Hearing the door close, Lu Yin opened her eyes, staring at the closed bedroom door, her hand brushing against her lips.
She considered herself rational, capable of enduring any hardship.
Cutting her losses was her specialty. She avoided hurting others, even if it meant pushing away the person she loved.
But self-control had its limits.
Instead of denying her weakening resolve, she had to admit the truth: she had no control around Lin Qianqian, especially when Lin Qianqian was so boldly, so relentlessly, testing her boundaries.
Lu Yin rolled over, the blanket falling to the floor. She didn’t bother picking it up.
She lay still, listening for any sound from the bedroom.
Silence. She felt a surge of anxiety.
Perhaps she should listen to Zhong Shiwu and accept what was happening.
Things were spiraling out of control, beyond her carefully constructed plans. She couldn’t avoid it any longer.
Before she could regain her composure, find a way to function without medication, she needed to establish a common goal with Lin Qianqian.
How to ensure they both got what they wanted before their inevitable separation.
She would use Lin Qianqian to escape her nightmares. And Lin Qianqian would use her…
Lu Yin couldn’t imagine what Lin Qianqian could possibly want from her.
Despite being twenty-three, Lin Qianqian still possessed a childlike enthusiasm, her heart ablaze with an untamed passion.
Lu Yin felt a pang of self-pity.
She had mastered the art of social interaction, adapting her words and behavior to suit every situation.
Yet, she couldn’t even articulate her own desires.
The bedroom door opened. Lin Qianqian emerged, then quickly retreated as she saw Lu Yin looking at her.
After a moment, she reappeared, her hand nervously touching her lips. “Sister, you’re awake?”
Lu Yin sat up, her gaze fixed on Lin Qianqian.
“Your blanket fell…” Lin Qianqian pointed at the blanket on the floor, watching Lu Yin pick it up and place it on the armrest.
The wine bottle and glasses were still on the coffee table. “Do you need help cleaning up?” Lin Qianqian asked.
“Sure.”
Lin Qianqian was surprised. She had only offered out of politeness. She walked over to the coffee table, stacking the glasses, her gaze questioning.
“Is there something on my face?” Lu Yin asked.
“I don’t think so…” Lin Qianqian said, unsure.
Lu Yin touched her face. “Nothing?”
“Nothing.”
“Then why are you looking at me like that?”
Lin Qianqian looked down, taking the glasses to the kitchen to wash them.
She noticed Lu Yin following her.
She turned on the faucet, trying to sound casual. “Who was that…that…who was your guest tonight?” She struggled to find the right word.
“Why should I tell you?”
“Fine, don’t tell me,” Lin Qianqian muttered. “Like I care…”
Lu Yin chuckled. “A friend.”
Lin Qianqian glared at her, their eyes locking in a silent battle of wills.
Neither looked away, each waiting for the other to surrender.
Lin Qianqian lost.
She held up the clean glasses. “What should I use to dry them?”
Lu Yin took the glasses, dried them with a towel, and placed them on the counter. She retrieved an unopened bottle of red wine and a corkscrew from the cabinet.
“You’re still drinking? It’s late,” Lin Qianqian started to protest, then remembered Lu Yin drinking with another woman, and felt a surge of annoyance. “Haven’t you had enough with your…friend?”
Lu Yin ignored her, pouring herself a glass of wine and taking a sip under Lin Qianqian’s watchful gaze.
Lin Qianqian’s eyes widened. She walked over to Lu Yin. “I want some too!”
Lu Yin reached for the bottle.
“Wait!” Lin Qianqian moved her glass. “I want a different glass! Not that one!”
Lu Yin indulged her, rinsing the glass and putting it away, then retrieving a new one.
Finally satisfied, Lin Qianqian took a sip of wine, a smile returning to her face. “This is good.”
The two glasses looked identical, but Lin Qianqian found a subtle difference.
“Can I try yours? The color seems slightly different.”
Lu Yin glanced at her and swapped glasses.
Lin Qianqian turned the glass, her lips touching the spot where Lu Yin had drunk from.
“Yours is better,” she said, a mischievous glint in her eyes, refilling her glass.
“It’s late,” Lu Yin said, but didn’t stop her.
“I’m off tomorrow,” Lin Qianqian filled her glass to the brim. “And I can always call in sick.”
Then, as if realizing something, she asked, “Do you have classes tomorrow?”
“No,” Lu Yin mimicked her earlier tone. “And even if I did, I could reschedule them.”
Lin Qianqian choked on her wine, coughing.
This was strange. Very strange.
The woman who claimed she wouldn’t jeopardize her work was now saying it was fine to drink late, even if it meant rescheduling classes.
Lin Qianqian touched Lu Yin’s forehead. “Are you feeling okay?”
She pinched herself, wincing. “I’m not dreaming.”
“What are you doing?” Lu Yin asked, watching her strange behavior.
Lin Qianqian dipped her finger in the wine and flicked it at Lu Yin. “Evil spirit, begone! Leave my sister’s body!”
“Sister,” she called out, seeing no reaction from Lu Yin.
Lu Yin’s gaze remained fixed on her.
“Are you drunk?” Lin Qianqian asked.
“Not really.”
“I think I’m drunk…”
Otherwise, why was Lu Yin acting like this?
Surely it wasn’t because of the stolen kiss?
“I have something to do tomorrow. I’m going to look at an apartment.”
“Which one?” Lu Yin frowned.
“The one from before. It’s a studio apartment, but the agent isn’t charging a fee. I only have to pay the deposit and rent.”
Lin Qianqian had been browsing listings for days, even with the detailed advice from her colleague, but her limited savings were a major constraint.
Most apartments required a hefty agency fee, equivalent to one month’s rent, in addition to the deposit and first month’s rent upfront. That was three months’ worth of rent, and the deposit wasn’t refundable if she moved out early.
She couldn’t afford it.
“You’re off tomorrow, right? Could you come with me?” Lin Qianqian asked tentatively, reaching for Lu Yin’s arm and giving it a gentle tug. “Sister, please? What if they try to scam me? I’ve never rented an apartment before.”
“What time tomorrow?” Lu Yin asked, her hand resting on Lin Qianqian’s.
“In the afternoon. After we see the apartment, I can explore the neighborhood and get familiar with the area.”
It was a rare day off for both of them. She had to seize the opportunity to spend time with Lu Yin, to mend their relationship.
And maybe steal another kiss.
Lu Yin nodded.
Lin Qianqian continued drinking, the living room silent but not awkward.
She started thinking about how to reject the apartment.
She had contacted the agent on a whim, never seriously intending to rent the place, but the agent had been persistent, constantly asking when she was available to view the apartment.
She was a terrible liar and a people-pleaser, so she had reluctantly agreed to a weekend viewing.
Now, it was a convenient excuse for a date with Lu Yin.
For the first time since her return, Lin Qianqian felt like they were genuinely connecting, their interaction easy and comfortable.
Lu Yin wasn’t being cold or dismissive, and Lin Qianqian didn’t have to constantly worry about saying the right thing.
“Sister…”
Lu Yin looked at her, waiting.
Lin Qianqian opened her mouth, wanting to ask about Lu Yin’s life these past few years, but the words caught in her throat.
“Where did you buy this wine? It’s really good,” she said instead, offering her empty glass.
“Don’t drink too much,” Lu Yin said, sealing the bottle.
Lin Qianqian pouted, taking Lu Yin’s glass and pouring herself half. “I want more.”
She clinked glasses with Lu Yin, grinning. “Cheers!”
She drained her glass.
“If I leave…” she mumbled.
“What?”
“Nothing,” Lin Qianqian shook her head.
She wasn’t sure if she could stay.
If the apartment was suitable, she wouldn’t have an excuse to reject it.
“If I leave, don’t miss me too much,” she blurted out.
“Why would I miss you?”
Lin Qianqian didn’t look at her, expecting this dismissive response.
“Would you miss making me cold noodles? Or waiting for me to come home drunk and pouring me water? Or having me knock on your door in the middle of the night because I’m scared to sleep alone?”
Lin Qianqian fidgeted, unable to answer.
“If I leave, I won’t be bothering you anymore,” she said, then added awkwardly, “And if you could, you know, help me out financially, that would be great…”
“What did you say?” Lu Yin asked, even though she had heard her clearly.
“What, what, what! How many ‘whats’ are you going to ask?!” Lin Qianqian couldn’t bring herself to repeat it. “Is there something wrong with your ears?”
She saw Lu Yin’s gaze darken and quickly looked down, defeated. “Just pretend I’m drunk. It’s not like it’s the first time this week.”
“And don’t cling to me later, asking me to help you to your room.”
“Who do you think I am?” Lin Qianqian scoffed, walking towards her room.
She was used to acting tough in front of Lu Yin, but after a few steps, she stumbled, bumping into the coffee table.
Bending down to rub her shin, she lost her balance and landed on the floor.
Embarrassed, she stayed there for a moment, feeling foolish.
“Let me see,” Lu Yin knelt beside her, examining her shin. “Here?” she asked, gently massaging it.
“No,” Lin Qianqian took Lu Yin’s hand and placed it on her calf. “Here.”
Lu Yin obligingly massaged her calf, even though they both knew it didn’t really hurt.
“That tickles,” Lin Qianqian extended her leg, her toes nudging Lu Yin’s. “Do you even know how to massage?”
Her voice was light and teasing.
Lu Yin’s gaze lingered on her face, her hand pressing harder.
Lin Qianqian winced, grabbing Lu Yin’s wrist and glaring at her.
“Terrible technique, and you can’t even take criticism!” Lin Qianqian pressed, searching for an opening.
Lu Yin chuckled, and Lin Qianqian’s fierce expression softened, worried she had said something wrong.
“It still hurts a little…” she said softly, hoping for more attention from Lu Yin.
But Lu Yin stood up without offering a hand.
Lin Qianqian panicked, grabbing Lu Yin’s pants leg, her legs entwined around Lu Yin’s. She looked up, her eyes pleading. “Sister, it hurts…”
Lu Yin looked down at her, then relented, crouching down again.
Seized by a sudden impulse, Lin Qianqian grabbed Lu Yin’s shoulders and kissed her.
Her lips landed on Lu Yin’s chin. Undeterred, she found Lu Yin’s mouth.
She kissed her hard, a mixture of resentment and longing.
Now, she was definitely drunk.
She had thrown herself at Lu Yin, not caring about the consequences.
She was leaving anyway. She might as well get her fill of kisses before she went.
She sat on the floor, her legs wrapped around Lu Yin’s, her arms around Lu Yin’s neck, refusing to let go, as if this was their last embrace.
“Sister…”
Lu Yin didn’t push her away, and Lin Qianqian’s eyes filled with tears.
Her bold move hadn’t been rejected, yet she couldn’t continue.
She released her hold, her tears flowing freely.
Lu Yin remained silent, her eyes filled with an emotion as vast and turbulent as a stormy sea.
But Lin Qianqian didn’t notice, her vision blurred by tears.
Lu Yin’s voice was cold and distant. “Let me help you to your room.”
“No…” Lin Qianqian hugged her knees, refusing Lu Yin’s help.
“Be good,” Lu Yin said softly. “The floor is cold.”
Strangely, after the kiss, Lin Qianqian’s mind felt clear.
She didn’t look at Lu Yin, but she heard the indifference in her voice.
Lin Qianqian stood up and slowly walked to her room.
Lu Yin watched her, their eyes meeting briefly, a flicker of something unreadable in Lin Qianqian’s gaze, before the door closed between them.
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