Chapter 25: I’m Leaving
The A4 paper smelled of ink. Lu Li remembered that the pirated books sold in the bookstore outside the school smelled like this, a mixture of the woody scent of paper and the pungent odor of cheap ink. The words on the “Lost Cat” poster were handwritten, the handwriting messy and uneven, more like English cursive than Chinese characters.
“Beloved cat lost near the intersection of Tanyang Road. Please contact XXXX if you have any information. A reward will be given for any useful information, and a generous reward for finding the cat!”
“You wrote this yourself?” Lu Li dipped the brush in paste and applied it to the wall.
“Yes.” Wen Hupo frowned, her nose twitching. “My nose is itchy.”
“Just scratch it.”
“My hands are covered in paste.”
Hearing this, Lu Li looked down at his fifty-eight-yuan t-shirt, wiped his hands on the hem of his shirt, and said, “Let me rub it for you.” “Okay.” Wen Hupo didn’t refuse, tilting her head towards him like a young wife waiting for a kiss.
Lu Li gently rubbed her nose. It felt cool to the touch. “Is it still itchy?”
“A little. Rub it a bit more.” Wen Hupo’s tone was casual, seemingly not minding the physical contact.
Girls were always like that. The slightest bit of closeness, and men would start to overthink, falling into a delusional fantasy. Does she like me? Once this thought arose, they had already lost the game of love.
Lu Li looked at her delicate face, so close to his, and felt the atmosphere grow awkward. He found a random topic to talk about. “Why haven’t you been to school?”
“…I was too heartbroken.” Perhaps because they were alone, hidden from the sun by the tall walls, the shadows offering a sense of security, she chose to tell the truth. “I lost so badly, I didn’t know how to face everyone. And I realized that I’m actually not that special.”
“I thought you didn’t care about what others think.” Lu Li said half-jokingly.
“How could I not? As a human being, living in a social environment, how can I not care about what others think? Even if I don’t say anything, I still feel tormented inside. Every day at school felt like a prison sentence. I dreaded seeing people outside the window pointing at me and saying, ‘Look, that’s Wen Hupo.’”
Her tone was filled with sadness, lacking her usual aloofness, a rare display of genuine emotion.
“I lost the competition, I lost my cat, and… sigh.” She abruptly stopped, seemingly not wanting to tell Lu Li something.
Prying into someone’s private affairs was a sure way to make them dislike you. Lu Li tactfully didn’t push her, changing the subject instead. “You can do something to relieve your stress. Besides painting, you can sing, or something…”
“I’ve been doing that.” Wen Hupo shook her head. “Okay, that’s enough, my nose isn’t itchy anymore.”
“Oh, okay.”
“I’ve been writing letters.”
“To whom?”
“I don’t know. I usually just burn them after writing.” Wen Hupo glanced at Lu Li. “If it’s just ordinary worries, I write down my true feelings, then read them again the next day. I would realize how ridiculous I was being and then burn the letter, like burning it for my yesterday self.”
You’re so romantic, burning letters for your yesterday self. Lu Li chuckled silently.
“But if it’s something I can’t solve, something I can’t even understand myself, I can’t write anything on the paper. The next day, when I wake up and see the blank paper, yesterday’s worries would resurface, and I would send the letter.” Wen Hupo was unusually emotional, saying things she normally wouldn’t.
Lu Li’s senses sharpened, and he asked casually, “Send it to whom?”
“To whoever I’m worried about.” Wen Hupo smiled, as if recalling something amusing. “I’ve sent three blank letters. One to my biological father, one to my etiquette teacher, and one to my future self. Mr. Diplomat is so materialistic. I was afraid of him when I first arrived at the Amber family, so I secretly sent him a blank letter. He thought it was a threat and didn’t leave the house for a month.”
He didn’t sound like a responsible man. Lu Li had met Wen Hupo’s biological father a few times in his past life and thought he was just a pompous businessman who looked down on him.
“The etiquette teacher was snobbish and mean, always mocking me, so I sent her a blank letter too. She thought it was from her deceased husband, and she started wearing a cross pendant to class every day.” Wen Hupo’s smile was faint but genuine. “The last blank letter, I sent it to my future self. I don’t know what my future will be like, I just hope that my future self is happy.”
Lu Li listened quietly. After Wen Hupo finished, he asked, “Miss Hupo, under what circumstances would you send blank letters to a specific person every year?”
A strange question. Wen Hupo gave Lu Li a curious look. “Has anyone ever sent you blank letters?”
“Yes. Every year. She was once my best friend. One day, we had a fight over something trivial, and then she left.” Lu Li looked into Wen Hupo’s eyes.
“Lu Li.” Her tone suddenly turned serious. “There’s no such thing as a ‘trivial’ matter that would cause two people to part ways. It’s more likely that she had been enduring something for a long time, until one day, she couldn’t take it anymore and chose to leave. And the reason she sent you blank letters was probably because she had something to say to you, but she couldn’t, due to pride or some other reason. So she could only maintain contact with you this way.”
Lu Li’s mind went blank. He chuckled dryly. “Really? I thought she was mocking me… haha…”
Wen Hupo continued putting up the posters. “The medium of social interaction is our senses. Smell, touch, sight, hearing, these are the forms of social interaction. Even if a person dies, as long as they arrange for the post office to send gifts and greeting cards to their loved ones regularly, awakening their sense of taste with freshly baked cookies, caressing their minds with words, then they are still alive in their hearts. Your friend must have thought the same way. She sent you blank letters every year, perhaps because she didn’t want you to forget her.”
“…”
“Did you ever look for your friend?”
Lu Li’s throat felt dry. “No.” Yes, why didn’t he? Why didn’t he look for Wen Hupo back then? He was like a kite, tethered to the girl holding the string, but the one holding the string wasn’t Shirley Amber.
“That’s a pity.” Wen Hupo seemed to have glimpsed into Lu Li’s heart and was strangely excited. “Your friend must be very sad. Was she your elementary school classmate?”
“…Yes.”
After a hesitant “yes,” they fell silent, continuing to paste the posters. For a while, the only sound in the alley was the rustling of paper.
Suddenly, Wen Hupo said, “I’m leaving.”
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