Chapter 18: Destined Peach Blossom Tribulation
An Baili nestled in Lu Li’s arms, slowly recounting the story of her first rebirth. Time ticked by, the night outside the window deepened, and the bustling city fell into a long silence, as if time had stopped flowing. The only thing still moving was the soft murmur of the girl in his arms. An Baili was a little tired, but she still clung tightly to Lu Li’s clothes, refusing to let go, and asked listlessly, “Have you forgiven me?”
“Yes.” Lu Li nodded gently. “I forgive you.”
An Baili smiled foolishly and fell asleep in his arms like a kitten. Her sleeping face was particularly pitiful, her body curled up into a ball, like a small abandoned animal. Only when Lu Li held her tighter did she relax a little. Lu Li took out his phone with one hand and sent a message to his sister to let her know he was safe, then placed An Baili on the simple flat bed. The Chuanhai No. 1 High School girl’s uniform was hanging on the clothes rack by the window, a stocking had been taken off, and there was a needle and thread on the table. An Baili must have been secretly mending her worn-out uniform, right?
The wind has stopped, the fragrance of dust and flowers is gone, the day is late, and I’m too tired to comb my hair. Everything has changed, all is lost, tears flow before words can be spoken. During the days he deliberately neglected An Baili, would she secretly cry at this small table? She probably would. Lu Li covered An Baili with the quilt and could still hear the girl’s murmurs in her sleep: “Don’t leave me…”
His eyes drifted to the bright moon outside the window, his thoughts wandering. He actually had a lot more to say to An Baili. He couldn’t figure out for himself whether it was love or sympathy that dominated his feelings for An Baili now. Or rather, had he married An Baili out of sympathy from the very beginning? It was precisely this “sympathy,” this mentality of a superior, that made him try to change An Baili, to hold his wife to such strict standards.
I’m such a self-righteous bastard. He thought to himself.
Since his rebirth, hadn’t he been looking down on the world with a detached attitude? But at this moment, Lu Li asked himself, did he really have the right to look down on them? Was he worthy?
It was Chu Jingyi’s face that flashed through his mind. At this soul-stirring moment, the first person he thought of was this innocent girl. Chu Jingyi liked him. This should be an obvious fact. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have acted as if nothing had happened after the forced kiss, otherwise, she wouldn’t have been jealous… He laughed self-deprecatingly. How obvious it was, why did he only realize it now?
Was he worthy?
The process of human growth was a long process of self-deconstruction. Admitting one’s own vileness, admitting one’s own vanity, admitting one’s own mediocrity – constantly analyzing oneself was growth.
He liked Chu Jingyi, this untainted girl. He liked Wen Hupo, who had a strange tacit understanding with him. And he also liked the pitiful and pathetic An Baili. Lu Li was surprised to find that he had become a greedy person.
An Baili’s murmurs in his ear interrupted his philosophical thoughts. The girl hadn’t woken up, she seemed to be having a nightmare. Lu Li held An Baili’s hand. The man’s body temperature brought her some sense of security, and An Baili’s long eyelashes stopped trembling, like a sleeping beauty entering a deep sleep.
“Li, love me again, okay?…” It was sleep talking.
Lu Li needed time to re-examine his own heart, so he couldn’t give An Baili a definite answer yet.
He needed to figure out where his heart truly belonged.
***
It was late at night when Lu Li returned home. The stars were bright, and the Milky Way was dazzling. The light in his room was still on. Was his sister here? Was she still awake? Lu Li took off his shoes and, as expected, saw Zou Yameng playing with her phone in his house.
“Sister, you’re still awake? It’s so late.” Lu Li asked as he tidied up the shoe cabinet.
“You haven’t had dinner yet. If I fall asleep, who will heat up the food for you?” This answer was extremely ordinary, but it was filled with the warmth of home, and Lu Li’s movements paused. He suddenly thought, no matter who he fell in love with, could he really abandon Sister Yameng? No, he couldn’t. Zou Yameng was a woman who was like a twin to him, his closest relative. If Sister Yameng were to be with another man, could he accept it?
The answer was no.
Was this the price?… Lu Li seemed to understand something. He felt like a fishing boat caught in four or five whirlpools, tormented by the agony of choice. No matter what choice he made in the future, he would hurt more people.
“You seem very down today.” Sister Yameng’s foot injury had mostly healed, and she could walk on her own now. She walked up to Lu Li and gave him a big hug without saying a word. It was a heavy, forceful hug. The scent of his sister filled his nostrils, and Lu Li remembered when he was a child, whenever he was bullied by older kids, he would run and hide behind Sister Yameng, watching her beat up the older kids, cheering excitedly from behind.
No matter what, his sister was his strong spiritual support, his eternal harbor.
He hugged his sister back: “Sister, I love you.”
He clearly felt his sister’s body stiffen instantly, like a cheetah ready to pounce on its prey, or like a weasel caught by its predator, not knowing what to do. Zou Yameng knew that the love Lu Li was talking about was family love, but she still put on a surprised and flustered expression as if she was deceiving herself: “I, I love you too.”
He had a simple dinner, chatted with his sister for a while, and didn’t know when he fell asleep.
Perhaps it was because too much had happened today, perhaps it was because the information he had received was too dense, but Lu Li didn’t sleep well. He dreamed of a peach blossom tree, with the inscription “Frenzied willow catkins dance with the wind, frivolous peach blossoms chase the flowing water” written next to it. The peach blossoms were in full bloom, a breathtaking sight. But strangely, there were six red threads hanging from the trunk of the tree, swaying in the wind, unattached and unsupported.
Just as Lu Li was about to take a closer look, he suddenly heard a faint sigh: “Destined fate, this tribulation.”
When he opened his eyes, it was already six o’clock the next morning. Sister Yameng was still sleeping in an unladylike position, her right leg resting on his abdomen, pinning him down like an octopus. The faint morning light shone through the gap in the curtains, falling on his sister’s thighs and waist. Her already fair thighs were especially dazzling in the sunlight, like a piece of fine white jade.
It seemed that his movement of getting up had disturbed Sister Yameng. She smacked her lips, and her right leg unconsciously tightened downwards. Lu Li gasped, arched his back slightly, and carefully lifted his sister’s slightly fleshy thigh, freeing Little Lu Li from its confinement. To be honest, it was a little uncomfortable being pressed down like that.
Sister Yameng’s sleeping posture was terrible. She was wearing a tank top and shorts, and even her bra strap had slipped off her shoulder, revealing most of her ample bosom, shaped like an inverted jade bowl. Lu Li wasn’t sure if it was his imagination, but he could faintly smell the scent of milk. She was becoming less and less mindful of boundaries between men and women. He complained inwardly, then quickly tidied himself up, grabbed his backpack, and prepared for school.
He took out some change from his bag, counted it, and decided to skip breakfast today. Also, he had to make things clear with An Baili. Although he forgave her for her suicide attempt, it didn’t mean he wanted to rekindle their relationship. Ultimately, their marital problems hadn’t been resolved, and a temporary compromise would only lead to long-term pain. Lu Li was thinking about all sorts of messy things when he suddenly noticed an unread message on his phone.
It was from Secretary Long.
[Uncle Long: Are you free to come to the Chu family for dinner this Saturday?]
Lu Li gave an affirmative reply. He wouldn’t dare to put on airs with Chu Xiaodong, would he? The other party replied with a smiling emoji, very much like an elder.
On his way to school, Lu Li kept rehearsing in his mind what he would say to An Baili when he saw her. He had to soothe her emotions and explain things clearly. Things like starting over as friends, starting over as ordinary friends… Thinking about it carefully, it all sounded hypocritical. Lu Li hadn’t felt this apprehensive in a long time. The last time he was this nervous was during his college entrance exam. Seven interviewers had asked him many questions with stern faces, such as why he chose their school, what his shortcomings were, and to introduce his family… At that time, Lu Li felt like a mayfly, small and insignificant.
An Baili would definitely be very sad, right?
His scattered thoughts were cut short, leaving only this one thought.
His footsteps unconsciously slowed down, and the image of a country girl appeared in his mind: deliberately braided hair, black-rimmed glasses, thick bangs, like a bumpkin from the countryside. She didn’t understand anything, she had nothing, and could only cling to her only love like a drowning person.
Suddenly, his phone buzzed again. It was the special notification sound for people he had marked as important.
[Sister Yameng: Ruan Qian came knocking early this morning, saying she has something to tell you!]
Then came a voice message. It was indeed Ruan Qian using Sister Yameng’s message to send a voice message.
“Brother Lu! Haiming took Chen Shiwei to An Gulai’s house to cause trouble! Please help stop them!”
Boom! It was like a bolt of lightning striking Lu Li’s brain. The carefully crafted words he had prepared were instantly shattered, and all his thoughts converged into one name: “An Baili! An Baili!”
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