Chapter 73: Is That Right?
You Ruxu seldom cried like this, or rather, she seldom had such emotional outbursts. She tended to suppress her feelings, enduring them until they became numb, no longer knowing what pain or discomfort felt like. But being with Zhou Tianzui, that heavy sense of guilt had always weighed on her, and finally, she couldn’t hold back anymore, crying in Zhou Tianzui’s arms until she fell asleep.
Zhou Tianzui held her, offering no comfort.
Right now, You Ruxu didn’t need comfort, she needed to release her emotions, letting them out was better than keeping them bottled up.
Although Zhou Tianzui didn’t know what You Ruxu and Yu Qiao had talked about today, she could guess it wasn’t pleasant. Her father’s death had been a huge blow to Yu Qiao, the rumors and gossip even more so. For a while, Yu Qiao had been in a daze, constantly sleeping, and when she woke up, she would say, “Xiao Tian, I dreamt about your father, he said he felt wronged.”
He had been wronged, anyone in his situation would feel wronged.
She and her mother had endured so much ridicule and abuse, things they shouldn’t have had to bear. She had thought of countless ways to take revenge, what she would do if she ever met that little girl again. But why You Ruxu?
Why, of all people, You Ruxu?
Those carefully crafted revenge scenarios mocked her helplessness.
Zhou Tianzui couldn’t remember how she felt when she first realized You Ruxu was that little girl. Disgusted? Twisted? Every time those dark thoughts surfaced, seeing You Ruxu, they would vanish.
She couldn’t deny it anymore.
She loved You Ruxu.
Loved her so much that even knowing who she was, she couldn’t let go.
She had let go of the past, she didn’t want to dwell on it anymore. She wanted to slowly, embrace the future with You Ruxu. The past hatred gradually faded, replaced by love. She could deceive others, but not herself.
And she didn’t like to lie.
Love was love. She accepted it. But clearly, You Ruxu hadn’t moved on yet. Zhou Tianzui held You Ruxu, gently patting her back, her back so slender that Zhou Tianzui could easily wrap her arms around her. The person in her arms gradually calmed down, her breathing evening out. Zhou Tianzui didn’t open the car door, just held her.
After a long, long time, she finally called out, “A Ran?”
This nickname.
She had never changed it.
She knew why You Ruxu had told her this nickname, she was revealing her identity, but You Ruxu didn’t know that she already knew who she was.
Zhou Tianzui also knew that every time she used that name, You Ruxu’s guilt lessened, because there were no secrets between them.
You Ruxu was still asleep.
Zhou Tianzui called out again, “A Ran?”
There was no response. Zhou Tianzui’s lips twitched slightly, wanting to smile, but the smile didn’t reach her eyes. She got out of the car, walked to the passenger side, and gently shook You Ruxu’s shoulder. You Ruxu was light, barely any weight in her arms. She wasn’t a picky eater, yet she never gained weight.
Zhou Tianzui had once told her, “Should you eat more?”
And You Ruxu had retorted, “I already eat two bowls of rice!”
Yet she remained slender, her mind burdened with too many worries. Zhou Tianzui helped You Ruxu out of the car and into the elevator. You Ruxu, slightly more awake now, asked, “Are we home?”
She rubbed her eyes, “They hurt…”
Zhou Tianzui took her hand, “Don’t rub them, they’ll swell.”
You Ruxu said, “Why do they hurt so much? Am I going blind?”
Such drunken nonsense. Zhou Tianzui chuckled and said, “Have you forgotten? You were crying.”
You Ruxu said, “Crying? Why was I crying?”
Zhou Tianzui said, “You had a nightmare.”
Half-truth, half-lie.
The nightmare was real.
The rest was a lie.
Zhou Tianzui said, “In the dream, I was breaking up with you, and you were heartbroken, you kept crying even after you woke up.”
You Ruxu frowned and looked at Zhou Tianzui, her mind hazy, the alcohol clouding her thoughts, not as clear-headed as usual, but her body’s reaction was honest. She had been crying, and for a long time.
Just because of a dream?
You Ruxu said, “Impossible.”
Clear-headed when she shouldn’t be, muddled when she should be. Zhou Tianzui chuckled in exasperation, “Then tell me, why were you crying?”
You Ruxu thought carefully and slowly remembered, she seemed to have dreamt about her mother.
Memories surfacing, she looked at Zhou Tianzui and said, “I think so.”
Zhou Tianzui said, “Think what?”
You Ruxu said, “I think I dreamt that you broke up with me, and I was heartbroken.”
Zhou Tianzui’s expression turned serious.
You Ruxu asked, “Will we break up one day?”
Ding.
The elevator arrived.
Zhou Tianzui was about to speak when she saw Yao Zhao standing outside. Yao Zhao, worried after finishing her homework and not seeing You Ruxu and Zhou Tianzui return, had been waiting by the elevator. After a long wait, she finally saw them.
Yao Zhao smiled shyly: “Sister, Dr. Zhou, you’re back.”
Zhou Tianzui said, “Yes, why aren’t you asleep yet?”
“I, I couldn’t sleep.” Yao Zhao said, “What’s wrong with Sister?”
“She had a bit too much to drink.” Zhou Tianzui said, “Let’s go inside.”
Yao Zhao bustled around, pouring water, getting a pillow for You Ruxu, worried about her, her gaze fixed on You Ruxu. You Ruxu said, “I’m fine now, you go to bed, you have school tomorrow.”
Zhou Tianzui also said, “Go and rest.”
Yao Zhao nodded and watched them enter the bedroom.
You Ruxu lay on the pillow, this position more comfortable, not as elegant and poised as in front of the camera, like a small animal curled up, too tired to even extend its paws. She didn’t want to move. Zhou Tianzui said, “Not removing your makeup?”
You Ruxu said, “Will you do it for me?”
Her tone almost coquettish.
Zhou Tianzui wondered if she was the one who was drunk. She touched her earlobe and said, “I’ll do it for you.”
She led You Ruxu into the bathroom, which was small, making it difficult for them to even turn around. You Ruxu stood in front of the mirror, her reflection’s face flushed, her eyes slightly unfocused. She picked up a cotton pad. Zhou Tianzui took it from her, made her sit on the edge of the bathtub, then sat behind her. You Ruxu leaned her head back slightly and closed her eyes, waiting for Zhou Tianzui to remove her makeup.
What she got was a kiss.
A soft kiss on her forehead, her eyelids, her eyelashes, the tip of her nose. You Ruxu opened her eyes, about to speak, when Zhou Tianzui cupped her face and kissed her on the lips, a soft, sweet kiss. The words You Ruxu wanted to say remained unspoken.
She wrapped her arms around Zhou Tianzui’s waist. Zhou Tianzui leaned closer.
The bright bathroom light reflected in her eyes, blurring into a soft glow. Her hair brushed against You Ruxu’s neck. Zhou Tianzui kept her head lowered, her back bent, although she was in a dominant position, she seemed to be surrendering to You Ruxu, completely and without reservation.
She was willing to surrender, willingly and completely.
They embraced, the makeup removal process lasting for over half an hour. You Ruxu wanted to take a shower, but Zhou Tianzui, worried she might be too unsteady on her feet, thought it best not to risk it. Falling would be a bad idea. You Ruxu compromised and just wiped herself down with a warm towel, then changed into her pajamas.
When she came out, Zhou Tianzui was standing at the door. You Ruxu said, “Why aren’t you sleeping?”
Zhou Tianzui said, “Waiting for you.”
You Ruxu said, “I can go back to my room myself.”
Zhou Tianzui said, “I’m afraid you’ll go to the wrong room.”
You Ruxu said, “I won’t.”
Zhou Tianzui held up a finger, “What number is this?”
You Ruxu took Zhou Tianzui’s hand and said, “I don’t know.”
“See, you’re drunk.” As if having found justification, You Ruxu chuckled. Zhou Tianzui let her, letting herself be pulled into the bedroom. The room was quiet, only the sound of the wind howling outside, and the occasional car speeding past. You Ruxu walked to the window and looked down at the twinkling lights below.
She turned and saw Zhou Tianzui lying on the bed, holding her teddy bear, leaning against the pillows, a casual and relaxed posture. Seeing You Ruxu look over, she asked, “What’s out there?”
You Ruxu said, “Nothing.”
“Then why are you looking?” Zhou Tianzui stood up, walked to the window, and drew the curtains, “Am I not pretty enough?”
You Ruxu looked at her. Zhou Tianzui’s features were striking, a rare blend of depth and strength, her eyelashes long and thick. You Ruxu remembered Chen Xiang saying that her colleagues called her “Lash Queen” behind her back. Although slightly exaggerated, her eyes were truly beautiful.
“You’re beautiful.” You Ruxu said, “You’re the most beautiful.”
Her tone was so serious that Zhou Tianzui couldn’t tell if she was being sarcastic.
But You Ruxu didn’t seem like the sarcastic type.
Zhou Tianzui accepted the compliment, “Then keep looking.”
She pulled You Ruxu onto the bed, making her sit facing her. You Ruxu felt that her gaze was different from usual, or perhaps she herself was drunk. She reached out to cover Zhou Tianzui’s eyes, but Zhou Tianzui took her hand and held it in hers.
You Ruxu’s fingers were slender and delicate, her wrist adorned with the red string bracelet, a peach pit dangling from it, engraved with Zhou Tianzui’s name. Zhou Tianzui held her hand, her thumb tracing the inside of You Ruxu’s wrist where the bracelet rested, then tightened her grip on the peach pit, looking at You Ruxu.
You Ruxu’s skin was flushed from the alcohol, her mind hazy, she just felt uncomfortable, but she couldn’t pinpoint where. She turned to look at Zhou Tianzui, her eyes unfocused.
Her lips were pressed into a tight line.
Stubbornly refusing to speak.
Zhou Tianzui asked, “What’s wrong?”
You Ruxu mumbled, “Nothing.”
Zhou Tianzui said, “Are you drunk? Or are you feeling unwell?”
You Ruxu opened her mouth, then closed it without speaking.
Zhou Tianzui looked down and asked, “Is it your stomach? Do you feel like throwing up? Or is it something else? You’re usually quiet, but you’re even more so when you’re drunk.”
You Ruxu mumbled, “I don’t feel that bad.”
Zhou Tianzui looked at You Ruxu, “Then you’re still uncomfortable? I’ll get you some warm water.”
You Ruxu looked at her, still not speaking, her lips pressed together. Zhou Tianzui, both amused and exasperated, couldn’t help but say, “Little mute?”
The person beside her glared at her.
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