Chapter 64: Wife
You Ruxu was stunned. She had considered many possibilities for the origin of that scar, but self-harm had never crossed her mind, because she firmly believed Zhou Tianzui wouldn’t do such a thing.
But that belief was now shattered. She remembered the first time she asked Zhou Tianzui about the scar. It was the night of her birthday, after they had been intimate, lying in the same bed. Zhou Tianzui was only wearing a shirt, unbuttoned, loosely draped over her body, a slightly languid posture. They lay there quietly, as if savoring the afterglow, or perhaps there was a chasm between them, a distance in every aspect except for their physical intimacy.
And even their physical intimacy didn’t feel so intimate.
You Ruxu, sharp-eyed, had noticed the marks on Zhou Tianzui’s lower back, like knife wounds. Curious, she had asked, “How did you get these?”
Zhou Tianzui had looked down, what was her expression then?
You Ruxu couldn’t remember.
But she remembered Zhou Tianzui saying, it was an accident.
She had wondered then if it was someone else, perhaps her mother during a moment of instability—she had never considered self-harm.
You Ruxu’s throat was dry. She stood there, frozen. Zhou Tianzui called out, “A Ran…”
You Ruxu took a sip of water, her throat aching as she swallowed. She blinked and asked, “You did it to yourself?”
Zhou Tianzui said, “Yes.”
You Ruxu asked, “When?”
Zhou Tianzui said, “During junior high.”
Back then, when she transferred to a new school, her classmates found out about her father, her mother had a relapse, she had to take care of her mother during the day, study, and at night, lying in bed, she couldn’t control herself.
She had thought then that if she left early, she might be free.
You Ruxu gripped her glass tightly.
Junior high.
That was when she found out about her mother and Zhou Tianzui’s father, when she realized she had hated the wrong person, when the regret began. If she had come forward then, would Zhou Tianzui’s life have been different?
You Ruxu’s throat felt dry and constricted, unable to utter a single word.
Zhou Tianzui took a step closer and asked, “What’s wrong?”
“I—” You Ruxu’s voice was low, “I, I’m sorry.”
Zhou Tianzui said, “We’ve already talked about this.”
“No, we haven’t.” She hadn’t told Zhou Tianzui about the notebook yet, about how she had lost the chance to clear Zhou Qiming’s name. In Yuhai, she had thought she could really start over with Zhou Tianzui, forget everything, just be You Ruxu, but now, learning about Zhou Tianzui’s past, she found it difficult, difficult to remain indifferent.
She had always known the power of rumors and gossip, how much they could hurt someone.
But she hadn’t realized, not about Zhou Tianzui—
Such a strong person.
You Ruxu remained silent for a few minutes, listening to the footsteps in the corridor, then Zhou Tianzui walked over to her desk, sat down, and said, “Come here.”
You Ruxu walked over. Zhou Tianzui said, “Give me your hand.”
She extended her hand.
Zhou Tianzui placed her closed fist in You Ruxu’s palm. She opened it, revealing two candies. You Ruxu looked at Zhou Tianzui and heard her say, “For children.”
You Ruxu said, “I’m not a child.”
“Close enough.” Zhou Tianzui said, “Not for children, for my wife.”
You Ruxu pursed her lips.
Zhou Tianzui said, “Actually, I wanted to tell you before, but I was afraid you would overthink it, so I didn’t. It was a long time ago, I barely remember it, so I didn’t want you to feel guilty or indebted to me because of something I don’t even remember. You don’t need to feel that way towards me, you only need to feel one thing for me.”
You Ruxu asked, “What feeling?”
Zhou Tianzui said, “Like me.”
Her tone was serious.
You Ruxu opened her mouth, then closed it without speaking. She looked at Zhou Tianzui, her eyes burning slightly. Footsteps approached in the corridor. You Ruxu lowered her gaze and heard Zhou Tianzui say, “I asked Yao Zhao yesterday, she wasn’t telling the truth. What if all those injuries, she inflicted them herself?”
“Impossible.” You Ruxu said, “Perhaps she just misremembered, not intentionally lying.”
You Ruxu’s tone was firm: “She was abused.”
Expressions, reactions, they wouldn’t lie. Yao Zhao’s instinctive flinch when her stepfather raised his hand, that couldn’t be faked. Seeing her unwavering conviction, Zhou Tianzui said, “What if?”
You Ruxu pursed her lips, refusing to consider the hypothetical.
Zhou Tianzui looked at You Ruxu, unwrapped a candy, and put it in her mouth. She said, “You told me yesterday that Yao Zhao reminded you of your mother, but she’s not your mother, don’t treat this as your mother’s case.”
You Ruxu said, “I’m not treating it as my mother’s case.”
“You are.”
You Ruxu said, “I’m not.”
Zhou Tianzui said, “You are! You’re treating this as your mother’s case, you think it would have been better if someone had helped you back then, so you’re putting yourself in the role of a savior!”
You Ruxu said, “I’m not! I’m a reporter, not a savior!”
“You still remember you’re a reporter?” Zhou Tianzui’s voice softened. The tension in the office, which had been frozen, now thawed slightly, like embers glowing, threatening to ignite. You Ruxu took a deep breath. Zhou Tianzui’s phone rang. She answered, then said to You Ruxu, “It’s done.”
You Ruxu nodded.
They left the office. Zhou Tianzui said, “I’ll be off work soon, want to have dinner nearby?”
As if their earlier argument hadn’t happened. You Ruxu glanced at her. Zhou Tianzui, catching her gaze, asked, “What’s wrong?”
You Ruxu said, “Nothing.”
Zhou Tianzui said, “Then want to have dinner together?”
You Ruxu said, “Can I say no?”
Zhou Tianzui said, “No.”
You Ruxu said, “Then why even ask?”
Zhou Tianzui said, “Just being polite.”
You Ruxu pouted, “You’re so childish.”
Zhou Tianzui: “More mature than a middle schooler.”
It took You Ruxu a moment to realize she was jealous about her taking Yao Zhao home. You Ruxu said, “Behave yourself.”
Zhou Tianzui said, “Not angry anymore?”
You Ruxu wanted to laugh, “When was I ever angry?”
“Just now, in my office.” Zhou Tianzui said, “Weren’t you a little angry?”
You Ruxu said, “No, I wasn’t.”
Zhou Tianzui said, “Really?”
You Ruxu was speechless.
She had been a little annoyed bickering with Zhou Tianzui, but also worried about her, a mix of annoyance and concern. Now, hearing this question, she didn’t know what to say.
You Ruxu said, “Really.”
She looked at the area below Zhou Tianzui’s waist, “I just, feel a little uneasy.”
Zhou Tianzui covered You Ruxu’s hand with hers, “Then don’t look, don’t think about it.”
You Ruxu looked up, their eyes meeting, then looking away as a doctor approached in the corridor, calling out, “Dr. Zhou.”
Zhou Tianzui greeted the doctor. The two stood there, chatting. You Ruxu looked inside and saw Yao Zhao walk out, fully dressed. Her hair was thick and dark, obscuring her face, hiding the youthful vibrancy she should have at her age. You Ruxu stood in front of Yao Zhao and asked, “All done?”
Yao Zhao nodded: “Yes.”
She said, “Thank you.”
You Ruxu smiled, remembering Zhou Tianzui’s words, “Alright, let’s go, we’ll have dinner nearby, okay?”
Yao Zhao said, “Anything is fine.”
She was shy, her demeanor awkward, her body still tense. She didn’t dare look at Zhou Tianzui, just stayed close to You Ruxu. You Ruxu looked at her for a moment, then said to Zhou Tianzui, “We’ll be going then, we’ll wait for you at the beef soup restaurant.”
Zhou Tianzui nodded. The doctor also said goodbye to You Ruxu.
You Ruxu took Yao Zhao and left.
It was dark outside, the streetlights casting long shadows. You Ruxu walked beside Yao Zhao and asked, “Are you cold?”
Yao Zhao was wearing a gray cotton jacket under her school uniform. You Ruxu realized she always wore her uniform. Yao Zhao chuckled, “This uniform is windproof.”
So she wore it over her jacket, for extra warmth, since her clothes weren’t very warm. Hearing this, You Ruxu, for some reason, thought of Zhou Tianzui.
What was Zhou Tianzui’s life like in junior high?
Was it like Yao Zhao’s?
You Ruxu felt a pang in her heart, “Let’s go buy you some clothes.”
Yao Zhao nodded, “Okay.”
You Ruxu took her to a nearby store. Yao Zhao hesitated at the entrance, but You Ruxu pulled her inside. The shop assistant greeted them. You Ruxu chose two down jackets, dark colors, not easily soiled, and asked Yao Zhao to try them on. Yao Zhao was surprised, “Me, me?”
You Ruxu said, “Go try them on.”
Yao Zhao, tongue-tied, wanted to say something, but the shop assistant pushed her into the changing room. Holding the new clothes, she didn’t know what to do, her eyes instantly reddening, pacing back and forth. You Ruxu stood outside, waiting. The shop assistant called out, “Little beauty, are you done yet?”
Yao Zhao said, “N-not yet.”
She quickly changed into the new down jacket. She felt awkward coming out, she was used to wearing hand-me-downs. Her mother would occasionally take her shopping, but they mostly just browsed, never buying anything. You Ruxu, however, was asking her to try on new clothes. She felt uncomfortable and self-conscious. The shop assistant said, “It fits perfectly.”
She brushed Yao Zhao’s hair back and adjusted the jacket, noticing the cut near her eye, “How did you get this?”
Yao Zhao looked down, “It was an accident.”
The shop assistant didn’t think much of it, “You should apply some medicine, you don’t want it to leave a scar.”
Yao Zhao gave a small “mm-hmm” and said, “I’ll go change back.”
“Just wear that one.” You Ruxu’s voice was gentle yet firm, reaching Yao Zhao’s ears clearly. Yao Zhao looked at You Ruxu and heard her say, “Please wrap up her old clothes.”
The shop assistant agreed. You Ruxu bought two sets of clothes for Yao Zhao.
Yao Zhao’s eyes were red as she left the store. She said, “Reporter, I…”
“Keep them, consider them a New Year’s gift.” You Ruxu said. Yao Zhao bit her lip, a small cut on her lip, a metallic taste in her mouth. She held the bags, their weight heavy in her hands.
Zhou Tianzui didn’t see You Ruxu at the restaurant and called her, only to find out she was shopping nearby. You Ruxu took Yao Zhao to the restaurant. Zhou Tianzui ordered three bowls of soup, placing one in front of Yao Zhao. You Ruxu sat beside Zhou Tianzui, hearing her ask, “What did you buy?”
“Nothing much.” You Ruxu said, “Just two sets of clothes for Yao Zhao.”
Zhou Tianzui glanced at Yao Zhao.
Yao Zhao felt her blood rush to her face, she blushed, fidgeting uncomfortably, “I’m going to the restroom.”
You Ruxu nodded.
After Yao Zhao left, Zhou Tianzui asked, “Did you talk to Yao Zhao?”
You Ruxu said, “Not yet.”
Zhou Tianzui drank her soup, casually breaking a sesame cake for You Ruxu, and asked, “You bought Yao Zhao two sets of clothes?”
You Ruxu: “Yes.”
Zhou Tianzui said, “What about mine?”
You Ruxu glanced at her, her hand pausing, then before she could speak, Zhou Tianzui said, “You didn’t buy me anything.”
You Ruxu said, “I’ll buy you something next time.”
Zhou Tianzui: “Oh.”
You Ruxu glanced at her.
Lowered her head.
After a few seconds, she reached into her pocket, found the candy Zhou Tianzui gave her earlier, and said, “Give me your hand.”
Zhou Tianzui put down the sesame cake and extended her hand. You Ruxu opened her clenched fist, revealing a candy, which she placed in Zhou Tianzui’s palm. Zhou Tianzui chuckled, “What’s this?”
You Ruxu said, “Didn’t you say?”
Zhou Tianzui looked at her, her voice soft, “Hmm?”
You Ruxu’s tone was slightly awkward, “To coax your wife.”
You Ruxu: Learning how to coax my wife online.
Zhou Tianzui: You need to learn that?
You Ruxu: …
Leave a Reply