Chapter 42: Debasing Herself
You Ruxu drove. She hadn’t even had time to drop off her backpack at the hotel. Zhou Tianzui followed her downstairs and into the car. It felt like a reckless adventure. You Ruxu hadn’t done anything like this before. Her heart pounded erratically, trembling with every honk of the car horns outside, her jaw tense as she stared straight ahead.
Zhou Tianzui, seeing her driving, asked, “Do you want me to drive?”
“No.” You Ruxu said, “This car is quite old, you might not be used to it.”
The car moved slowly, swaying slightly. As they neared her home, Zhou Tianzui got out to buy some fruit. You Ruxu waited in the car, her eyes fixed on her phone. Just as Zhou Tianzui was paying, she called Wu Xiulian.
Wu Xiulian’s voice was cheerful, “Ruxu, are you back?”
“Almost home.” You Ruxu said, “Mom, I’m bringing Zhou Tianzui home for dinner.”
She knew this would upset Wu Xiulian, that she might be scolded, told not to come home, or even have the phone hung up on her. But Wu Xiulian did none of those things, her voice still cheerful, “Oh, Dr. Zhou is coming with you? That’s great, I made extra food today. Be careful on the way.”
You Ruxu breathed a sigh of relief, “Mom…”
“Are you still driving? Be careful.” Wu Xiulian said, “You’re distracted by the phone call.”
You Ruxu said, “I know, Mom.” She couldn’t help but add, “Thank you, Mom.”
Wu Xiulian chuckled through the phone, “You’re my daughter, what’s there to thank me for? By the way, Professor Li came to my office today, you know, your Uncle Li, his daughter works at the TV station. I thought it would be good for you to have more connections if you come back to Yuhai, even if you don’t come back, having more contacts in the news industry isn’t a bad thing, right?”
You Ruxu said, “Mm-hmm.”
“Then I’ll ask her to add you.” Wu Xiulian said, “Accept her friend request.”
You Ruxu hung up and saw a new friend request on WeChat. She figured this was Uncle Li’s daughter and accepted the request. The other person quickly sent a smiley emoji, asking, [You Ruxu? I’ve seen your reports, you’re very impressive.]
You Ruxu replied: [Thank you.]
Li: [Let me know if you need anything, our TV station might be different from Jindu’s.]
Zhou Tianzui opened the passenger door, carrying the fruit. You Ruxu didn’t reply, placing her phone under the center console. They soon arrived. You Ruxu got out of the car and took the fruit from Zhou Tianzui.
It was Wu Xiulian who opened the door. Just like the first time they met, her attitude was very welcoming. Zhou Tianzui looked at You Ruxu, then at Wu Xiulian, and called out with a smile, “Auntie.”
“Why did you buy more things?” Wu Xiulian said, “Don’t do this next time. You’re Ruxu’s friend, we should be the ones taking care of you.”
You Ruxu smiled faintly.
Wu Xiulian said, “Ruxu, there’s some freshly cut fruit in the kitchen, bring some out for Dr. Zhou.”
Zhou Tianzui sat on the sofa. You Ruxu put down her bag and keys and went to the kitchen. Her phone lit up; it was right next to the keys. Zhou Tianzui could see the WeChat notification with a glance.
Li: [Auntie said you’re thinking of coming back to Yuhai. This is our TV station’s recent recruitment plan, if you’re interested in any of these positions, just let me know.]
It was a long message, only partially displayed, but Zhou Tianzui could guess the rest of the content. She pursed her lips and saw You Ruxu walking over with a plate of fruit, handing her a fork. Zhou Tianzui’s throat tightened slightly. She took a bite of the fruit.
Just as You Ruxu was about to speak, Wu Xiulian said, “Ruxu, go pick up your father, it’s raining, it’s not convenient for him to take a taxi.”
She handed You Ruxu the car keys.
You Ruxu: “Okay.”
She looked at Zhou Tianzui and whispered, “Then wait here for a bit, I’ll be right back.”
Zhou Tianzui swallowed the slightly sour apple and nodded.
After she left, the living room was quiet. Wu Xiulian said, “Dr. Zhou, have a seat, I’ll make a couple more dishes.”
Zhou Tianzui stood up, “Let me help you.”
Wu Xiulian didn’t refuse, smiling, “Alright, do you enjoy cooking, Dr. Zhou?”
Zhou Tianzui said, “I do, whenever I have time. Auntie, you can call me Xiao Tian.”
“Alright.” Wu Xiulian was still smiling, her expression unreadable. She said, “Thank you for taking care of Ruxu these past two years, we haven’t properly thanked you yet. Now that you’re here in Yuhai, come over for dinner whenever you’re free.”
She added, “And come visit us when you’re in Yuhai in the future.”
Her tone was warm and welcoming, treating Zhou Tianzui like a younger relative. Zhou Tianzui smiled, “I wouldn’t want to impose.”
“It’s not an imposition at all.” Wu Xiulian said, “It’s just the two of us at home usually, we’d love to have more visitors. But it’s good, Ruxu said she’s considering transferring back.”
Zhou Tianzui’s hand paused as she was washing vegetables, the water flowing over her hand, cold against her skin. She lowered her head, “Transferring back?”
“Yes.” Wu Xiulian said, “Ruxu has always been obedient, never causing us any trouble, but being alone out there isn’t as good as being at home. Xiao Tian, you live with your mother, you should understand, right?”
Zhou Tianzui looked down at the vegetables in her hand and said, “I understand.”
“Ruxu is lucky to have found such a good roommate in Jindu.” Wu Xiulian said, “Don’t hesitate to ask your uncle and me for help if you need anything.”
Zhou Tianzui didn’t reply.
Wu Xiulian took out some leafy greens from the grocery bag, a bunch of scallions underneath. She casually tossed the scallions into the trash can. Zhou Tianzui asked, “Auntie, is there something wrong with the scallions?”
“Nothing wrong.” Wu Xiulian said, “They came with the groceries, but you know Ruxu doesn’t like scallions, and neither does her father, so we never use them in our cooking.”
Zhou Tianzui frowned, “She doesn’t like scallions?”
“That’s right.” Wu Xiulian chuckled, “Didn’t Ruxu tell you?”
She shook her head, “That child, always keeping things to herself.”
Zhou Tianzui froze.
Wu Xiulian continued, “Back in junior high, we weren’t home, so she stayed at her aunt’s for a few days. Her aunt didn’t know she didn’t like cilantro and would add a handful to her noodles every morning. Ruxu didn’t say anything, just secretly picked out the cilantro and threw it away. Later, when her aunt had breakfast with her, she forced herself to eat it. Guess what she said when we came back?”
Zhou Tianzui’s fingertips were cold. She looked at Wu Xiulian, “What did she say?”
“When we came back, she said, ‘Mom, cilantro isn’t actually that bad.’” Wu Xiulian said, “Ruxu is like that, always willing to suffer herself rather than inconvenience others. She endures it, gets used to it, and then develops this illusion that she doesn’t mind it, even likes it.”
Wu Xiulian took the scallions out of the trash can, looked at Zhou Tianzui, and said, “Like these scallions, she might eat them for a while and think, they’re not bad. But if she doesn’t eat them for a while, she forgets that feeling of being used to them, and her body naturally rejects the taste again.”
She said, “If she doesn’t like it, she doesn’t like it. She only forces herself to accept it out of guilt, not because she likes it.”
Zhou Tianzui felt a pang in her heart, her face paling as she looked at Wu Xiulian.
Wu Xiulian looked at her steadily, her gaze gentle, yet seeming to see through her pretense. Zhou Tianzui moistened her lips and asked, “Did she ask you to tell me this?”
So bringing her home today was to end things?
How amusing.
She had thought—
Wu Xiulian said, “Whose idea…”
“If it’s her idea, let her tell me herself.” Zhou Tianzui said, trying to maintain her composure, her hands clenching at her sides. Wu Xiulian said, “You know Ruxu’s personality, she’s only nice to you because she’s enduring…”
“Then let her endure it!” Zhou Tianzui blurted out.
Wu Xiulian said, “She’s endured it for three years, isn’t that enough? How many more years do you want her to endure? Thirty years? She was just a child back then, a child with no power, her words couldn’t even be used as evidence, no one could convict her, she’s the one who can’t get over it.”
But coming back this time, it seemed she was finally moving on.
Wu Xiulian was relieved. She looked at Zhou Tianzui, her voice still gentle, “Dr. Zhou, I know Ruxu has wronged your family, she owes you, and her father and I will repay you, but I don’t want Ruxu to make amends this way. She can choose not to be in a relationship, we won’t force her, but we won’t stand by and watch her debase herself.”
Debase herself?
So being with her was debasing herself?
Zhou Tianzui wanted to retort, but seeing the scallions on the trash can, she suddenly understood. Wasn’t it debasing herself, forcing herself to eat food she didn’t like for so long, sleeping with someone she didn’t love?
It truly was debasing.
The sound of the door opening came from behind. You Ruxu said to You Shu, “Dad, you should bring an extra umbrella next time.”
“I know.” You Shu chuckled. “I’ll remember next time.”
Wu Xiulian emerged from the kitchen and said, “Look at you, so pleased with yourself, your daughter personally picked you up from work, happy now?”
You Shu said, “Of course I’m happy.”
The family was happy and harmonious. You Ruxu listened to her parents’ conversation with a smile and asked Wu Xiulian, “Where’s Zhou Tianzui?”
“In the kitchen.” Wu Xiulian said, “Such a good child, even helping me with the cooking.”
Her tone was warm and gentle. Zhou Tianzui, in the kitchen, listening to their conversation, looked down and saw the trash can. She closed her eyes and made a phone call before You Ruxu entered.
You Ruxu, seeing her on the phone, didn’t interrupt. Zhou Tianzui’s voice was low, “When? You need it now? Okay, I understand, I’ll send it to you later.”
After hanging up, Zhou Tianzui said, “It was the hospital.”
You Ruxu said, “Oh, then…”
“I’m not eating.” Zhou Tianzui interrupted her. You Ruxu nodded: “Okay.”
Zhou Tianzui excused herself and said goodbye to Wu Xiulian and You Shu. Wu Xiulian didn’t say much, just told her to be careful. Zhou Tianzui glanced at Wu Xiulian and left the You family’s apartment.
You Ruxu wanted to walk her downstairs. The elevator arrived. Zhou Tianzui stepped inside and said to You Ruxu, “Go back.”
“I’ll walk you downstairs.”
Zhou Tianzui’s expression remained unchanged, she just pressed the close button and said to You Ruxu, “No need.”
Then the elevator doors closed.
You Ruxu stood outside the elevator.
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