Chapter 128: Letting Go
Chen Xiang, under the watchful eyes of Zhou Tianzui and You Ruxu, feeling pressured to call, decided to treat it as a simple New Year’s greeting. She dialed You Ruxu’s number. The phone rang several times before a clear, slightly cool voice answered, “Hello.”
It had been a long time since He Wei last heard You Ruxu’s voice. Her tongue felt tied as she stammered, “Teacher You.”
You Ruxu recognized her voice, “He Wei?”
He Wei said, “Yes, it’s me, just calling to wish you a Happy New Year.”
You Ruxu smiled faintly, “Happy New Year.”
He Wei’s smile was sweet and bright. Zhou Tianzui, seeing her expression, frowned, glancing at He Wei from the corner of her eye, but her gaze remained fixed on the TV screen, which she had thoughtfully muted, wanting to hear You Ruxu’s voice, but there was only silence, only He Wei’s cheerful chatter echoing in the quiet living room.
Zhou Tianzui lowered her eyes, and after a few seconds, said, “I’ll go help in the kitchen.”
Yu Qiao, seeing her enter, handed her some vegetables, “Wash these.”
Zhou Tianzui stood by the sink, the cold water running over her hands. She glanced towards the living room; He Wei had hung up. Zhou Tianzui’s expression softened slightly. Soon, Fu Shushu and a few other colleagues arrived, and they sat around the dining table, chatting about work, gossiping about news they had heard, who got married, who was dating, who broke up, ordinary things, but with the added element of celebrity, every detail magnified and dissected.
“Did you guys see Weibo last night? Seems like there’s something going on between Wei Hong and Zhao Qingli.”
“Who? Wei Hong and Zhao Qingli? What’s going on?”
“You straight men wouldn’t understand, but don’t you think their interactions are a little suspicious? I heard Wei Hong was invited to be on a magazine cover, and she brought Zhao Qingli with her, and after the photoshoot, they went on a trip together, for over a week, just the two of them.”
“Seriously? I can’t believe it!”
“What’s so unbelievable about it?” Yu Qiao, carrying a hotpot, placed it on the table, hearing their conversation, “It’s their own business, they’re consenting adults, and homosexuality isn’t illegal.”
Lin Luo plugged in the hotpot. Yu Qiao said, “You guys start eating, I’ll make a couple more dishes.”
“Auntie, don’t bother.” Fu Shushu said, “Come sit with us.”
Zhou Tianzui said, “I’ll cook.”
Lin Luo said, “Great!”
Then, realizing everyone was looking at her, she added, a little embarrassed, “I haven’t tried Dr. Zhou’s cooking yet.”
“Dr. Zhou, cook for us!” They all cheered. Zhou Tianzui went into the kitchen and heard the conversation shift again. Yu Qiao sat with them, pouring them drinks. They were all on duty, so no alcohol, just drinks with their hotpot. Zhou Tianzui made two vegetable dishes, placed them in front of Yu Qiao, who rotated the lazy susan. Everyone praised her cooking, “Dr. Zhou, you’re a great cook!”
Zhou Tianzui suddenly thought of You Ruxu.
Every meal with her was a quiet affair, and she would always ask, “How’s the food?”
And You Ruxu would always say, “It’s delicious.”
Zhou Tianzui smiled faintly, sat down, and heard Zhao Mingqi ask, “We’re going on a business trip this week, have they decided who’s going yet?”
Fu Shushu, looking at him, “Do you want to go?”
Zhao Mingqi hesitated, then said, “I can sacrifice myself for the greater good.”
He was met with a chorus of groans. Fu Shushu said, “They haven’t decided yet. It’s a long trip, over two weeks, they’ve asked a few people, but no one wants to go.”
Long business trips were rarely popular. The senior staff mostly had families to take care of, or patients, their circumstances not allowing for extended absences. The newer recruits were eager to go, but they lacked the seniority. Short trips were fine, but for longer ones, they usually had to vote.
Zhou Tianzui asked, “Where to?”
“Yuhai, didn’t you know, Dr. Zhou?”
Fu Shushu said, “Your health just recovered, you just came back to work, you’re not on the list this time.” A special consideration, Zhou Tianzui’s health was still recovering, they didn’t want to overwork her, so they hadn’t asked her.
Zhou Tianzui paused: “Yuhai?”
“It’s about the same issue as the last summit, a training program this time.” Fu Shushu said, “You would have been the most suitable candidate, but you’re still recovering…”
Zhou Tianzui glanced at Yu Qiao.
Yu Qiao was sipping her drink, her expression calm. Zhou Tianzui nodded slightly.
The conversation moved on, the atmosphere lively and cheerful. Zhou Tianzui ate her food, her mind elsewhere.
After dinner, she walked her colleagues downstairs, seeing them off, then returned home. Yu Qiao was washing the dishes. Zhou Tianzui offered to help, and Yu Qiao, looking at her, said, “You’re back, they’ve all left?”
“Yes, they’re gone.” The apartment was filled with milk and nutritional supplements. Zhou Tianzui said, “Let me do it.”
Yu Qiao swept the table, wiping it clean, then mopped the floor. Zhou Tianzui washed the dishes. They worked in silence, a strange tension in the air.
Zhou Tianzui wanted to speak several times, then just continued washing the dishes, her head lowered.
Yu Qiao, before returning to her room, looked at Zhou Tianzui, seeing she had nothing to say, and went to bed. Zhou Tianzui turned on the TV in the living room, a Yuhai local channel, hoping to catch a glimpse of You Ruxu in the news, but there was nothing.
She leaned back against the sofa, then after a while, lay down, flipping through channels with the remote.
A voice behind her, “Aren’t you going to break the TV, changing channels like that?”
Zhou Tianzui turned around. Yu Qiao, wearing her pajamas, stood there, “Mom, you’re still awake?”
“Couldn’t sleep.” Yu Qiao had intended to rest, but after changing into her pajamas and lying in bed, she couldn’t fall asleep, tossing and turning. After a while, she got up and saw Zhou Tianzui flipping through channels.
She sat beside Zhou Tianzui.
After a few seconds, she said, “Get me a tangerine.”
Zhou Tianzui handed her one. The tangerine’s skin was thin, its flesh juicy and sweet, typical for this season. Yu Qiao peeled it, handed half to Zhou Tianzui, and said, “Your father loved tangerines.”
Zhou Tianzui remembered, once, waiting for Yu Qiao to finish work, she and her father had sat in a milk tea shop, eating two kilos of tangerines, she had only had two or three, the rest were all eaten by Zhou Qiming.
Her mother, seeing the pile of tangerine peels, had chuckled, “No need for dinner then?”
And Zhou Qiming had laughed awkwardly, “I wasn’t paying attention.”
Yu Qiao said, “How much do you remember, about your father?”
Zhou Tianzui thought for a moment, “I remember some things.”
“Not much, I suppose.” Yu Qiao’s tone was calm and even. She said, “When you were a baby, your days and nights were reversed, sleeping during the day, awake at night, always needing to be held, crying if you weren’t. Your father worked during the day, and at night, he would hold you, sometimes falling asleep in bed with you in his arms, and the moment you cried, he would wake up and continue soothing you.”
“One time, you had pneumonia, you needed to be hospitalized, I stayed with you at the hospital, and he would still come every night after work, even if he couldn’t stay, he would sit by your bed, all night.”
“Your father loved you very much.” These were words Yu Qiao had never said before, kept bottled up for so many years.
Perhaps it was because Zhou Qiming loved Zhou Tianzui so much that she had been so angry, so irrational, after finding out about her and You Ruxu.
Yu Qiao looked at Zhou Tianzui, “But he didn’t want to control you.”
It was she who wanted to control Zhou Tianzui with her love, not Zhou Qiming.
Everything Zhou Qiming did, he did it hoping Zhou Tianzui would grow up healthy and happy, while she, she had used that love to try and control Zhou Tianzui, to turn her into an obedient puppet.
Yu Qiao apologized, “I was wrong.”
Zhou Tianzui’s eyes instantly reddened, “Mom, don’t say that.”
Yu Qiao said, “I was wrong, I admit it, but you were also wrong, you shouldn’t have gotten so close to You Ruxu.”
Zhou Tianzui looked down at the remote control in her hand and didn’t speak.
Yu Qiao continued, “But feelings, they’re not something that can be explained with right or wrong.”
Zhou Tianzui looked up.
Yu Qiao said, “The first year after we graduated, he was transferred, to a faraway place, I didn’t agree, we had a huge fight, it was so bad I even thought, if he really went, I would break up with him. But then when I saw him, I couldn’t say anything.”
She hadn’t broken up with him, hadn’t even argued.
She had waited in Jindu for six months, and then Zhou Qiming was transferred back.
The first thing he did was smile at her, a goofy grin.
It had made her laugh, despite her anger.
All these years, she had never forgotten him. Yu Qiao said, “You’re just like me in this regard, stubborn.”
Zhou Tianzui smiled faintly, “Mom, you loved Dad very much.”
“Yes, I did.” Yu Qiao said, “I loved your father very much, but I also love you.” She looked at Zhou Tianzui, “Just like how you love your mother, and you also love You Ruxu.”
Zhou Tianzui froze, looking at Yu Qiao.
Yu Qiao said, “What? Did you think I would never mention her name again?”
Zhou Tianzui said, “No, I just thought you needed more time.”
“Time? To give you and You Ruxu time to convince me, to accept your relationship?” Yu Qiao said, “Xiao Tian, you’re truly stubborn, what do you even see in her?”
Her tone wasn’t accusatory, but curious, like a mother asking her daughter about her partner.
Zhou Tianzui said, “Then Mom, what did you see in Dad?”
“I…” Yu Qiao paused, seemingly lost in memories, a long silence before she finally said, “Never mind.”
Zhou Tianzui looked at her.
Yu Qiao said, “But Xiao Tian, since you take after me, you should know I’m also stubborn. About you and You Ruxu—” Zhou Tianzui’s body tensed, her hand gripping the remote control so tightly that it dug into her skin, but she felt nothing, just listened to Yu Qiao continue, “I won’t interfere.”
The weight in her heart lifted.
Yu Qiao said, “I won’t interfere, so you don’t have to tell me anything, you make your own decisions, about you and her, I only have one stance, I don’t approve.” She looked at Zhou Tianzui, “But I also won’t object.”
Zhou Tianzui looked down.
She said, “Thank you, Mom.”
Yu Qiao found these words of gratitude more pleasing than any apology. She took a deep breath and stood up. Zhou Tianzui, seeing her go to her room, followed her, “Mom, are you looking for something?”
Yu Qiao said, “Looking for my suitcase.”
She said, “You’re going on a business trip, aren’t you packing?”
Zhou Tianzui’s eyes teared up slightly, she rushed over to Yu Qiao and hugged her. Yu Qiao, taken by surprise, her hands hovering awkwardly by Zhou Tianzui’s waist, then after a moment, patted her back gently.
Zhou Tianzui: Teacher You, your package has arrived.
You Ruxu: What package?
Zhou Tianzui: Your wife.
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