Chapter 119: Don’t Wait
Zhou Tianzui sat on the sofa while Yu Qiao busied herself with New Year’s Eve dinner preparations. Neighbors came to visit, bringing New Year’s goods, children in new clothes running around, greeting the adults, occasionally stopping in front of Zhou Tianzui, their small hands extended, “Sister, have some candy.”
Colorful candies in their palms, milk candies, fruit candies. She picked one, “Thank you.”
“Sister, are you unhappy?” A childish voice, almost drowned out by the noise and chatter. Zhou Tianzui lifted the child onto her lap. She was about three years old, her speech still a little unclear, clinging to Zhou Tianzui. She was the granddaughter of the upstairs neighbor. Yu Qiao was always envious, having mentioned it several times. Zhou Tianzui rarely came home, so she wasn’t very close to the little girl, who, however, seemed to like her, unafraid of her aloof demeanor, looking up at her with a smile, “Grandma said we have to be happy during New Year’s.”
Zhou Tianzui asked, “Are you happy?”
“I’m happy.” The little girl, smelling of milk and baby powder, said, “I have candy, and cola, Mommy doesn’t usually let me have these.”
Zhou Tianzui patted her head, “Then if you eat them, won’t Mommy be unhappy?”
The little girl paused, as if considering this, Zhou Tianzui watching her. She extended her hand, “Then I won’t eat it, I don’t want Mommy to be unhappy.”
Her voice was filled with grievance. Zhou Tianzui unwrapped a candy. The little girl watched her, her eyes wide, swallowing. Zhou Tianzui held the candy out to her, “Here.”
The little girl looked at her.
Zhou Tianzui said, “We’ll eat it secretly, so Mommy won’t know, and she won’t be unhappy.”
The little girl blinked, but didn’t take the candy, just looked at Zhou Tianzui, “But Mommy will find out eventually.”
She climbed off Zhou Tianzui’s lap and ran off. Zhou Tianzui looked at the candy in her hand for a moment, then put it in her mouth. It wasn’t sweet, but bitter. She leaned back against the sofa. Her phone lit up with several New Year’s greetings. She scrolled up and saw You Ruxu’s message. After a moment of thought, she replied: [Are you free tomorrow?]
You Ruxu and Wu Xiulian were having dinner. Wu Xiulian had initiated a video call, and Wu Xiulian’s mother, seeing them, frowned, “I told you to come home earlier, and you didn’t even come back for New Year’s.”
Wu Xiulian said, “It was an unexpected situation.”
Wu Xiulian’s mother asked, “Is Ruxu fully recovered?”
You Ruxu looked up, “Mom, I’m fine now.”
“You just don’t listen, I told you not to be a reporter, and you didn’t listen.” Wu Xiulian’s mother started nagging. You Shu said, “You were also a reporter, and you didn’t find it tiring.”
“I didn’t find it tiring.” Wu Xiulian’s mother said, “I just want my daughter to rely on us, what’s wrong with that? She couldn’t even come home for New Year’s. I couldn’t even go see her last time she was hurt, I could have taken care of her if I were there.”
You Shu, unable to argue with her, just kept quiet.
You Ruxu looked at Wu Xiulian’s mother, “Mom, I’ll come home with Aunt after the New Year.”
“How long will you be staying?” Wu Xiulian’s mother asked. You Ruxu said, “I haven’t decided yet, probably a bit longer this time.”
Wu Xiulian’s mother smiled, “Okay then.”
She went to the kitchen, leaving her phone on the table. You Shu sat in front of it. Wu Xiulian handed the phone to You Ruxu, who put down her chopsticks, walked over to the window, and called out, “Dad.”
“Ruxu, don’t mind your mother’s nagging, she hasn’t been sleeping well lately.” You Shu said, “You and that family…”
You Ruxu knew he was referring to Yu Qiao and Zhou Tianzui. You Shu and Wu Xiulian’s mother had called after the news broke. Wu Xiulian’s mother had said, “Ruxu, we’ve wronged them, your father and I were thinking of coming to Jindu for the New Year.”
You Ruxu had dissuaded them.
It was her fault, she shouldn’t blame Wu Xiulian and You Shu. She had promised to handle it, and after repeated assurances, Wu Xiulian’s mother had finally agreed not to come, but she had been restless ever since, unable to eat or sleep properly, saying she kept thinking about it.
You Ruxu said, “Dad, don’t worry, I know what to do.”
You Shu said, “If you need your mother and me to come, just say the word. Ruxu, remember, we’re family, no matter what happens, you’re our daughter.”
You Ruxu’s eyes reddened slightly, looking at the fireworks outside the window, “Dad, why did you choose me back then?”
So many children, why her?
If they hadn’t chosen her, would they be so worried now? Perhaps they would have a daughter by their side, taking care of them.
You Shu chuckled, “There’s no ‘why.’”
You Ruxu hung up. Wu Xiulian, behind her, called out, “Xu Xu.”
She turned around, “What’s up, Aunt?” Wu Xiulian asked, “Talking to your father?”
You Ruxu said, “I asked him why he brought me home. Aunt, if it wasn’t for me…”
Wu Xiulian said, “If it wasn’t for you, our family would be happy now?”
She said, “Xu Xu, do you know how proud your parents are of you?”
You Ruxu looked at her, “Of me?”
Wu Xiulian nodded, “You might feel guilty towards Zhou Qiming, towards his family, and so does your aunt, I’m even more…” Wu Xiulian said, “But you’ve never let us down, you’re always our pride and joy.”
You Ruxu’s lips pressed into a thin line.
Fireworks exploded outside, their colors reflected on the window. Wu Xiulian said, “Another year has passed.” She said to You Ruxu, “Xu Xu, Happy New Year.”
You Ruxu suddenly remembered her first New Year at the You family’s home. She had been looking at the fireworks outside, listening to the firecrackers, a table full of food, candies on the coffee table, but she hadn’t dared touch anything, just sat there quietly. Wu Xiulian had sat beside her, offered her a candy, and said, “Xu Xu, Happy New Year!”
She had smiled, “Aunt, Happy New Year.”
Just then, her phone buzzed with a notification. You Ruxu took it out and saw Zhou Tianzui’s message, asking if she was free tomorrow. You Ruxu wanted to reply immediately, but thinking of Yu Qiao, her finger hesitated, then after a moment, she replied, “I’m free.”
Zhou Tianzui was already in bed. Yu Qiao hadn’t spoken much to her since their argument, treating her like a stranger. She hadn’t even said anything when Zhou Tianzui went to her room. She received You Ruxu’s message while lying in bed, staring at You Ruxu’s profile picture for a moment. It was a black and white checkered pattern. When they first added each other on WeChat, You Ruxu’s profile picture had been her ID photo. Zhou Tianzui had chuckled, “Who uses that as a profile picture?”
And You Ruxu had replied, “I saw other senior reporters use it, isn’t it good?”
It had been shared countless times in their group chat, but Zhou Tianzui hadn’t told her the truth, just said, “It’s not very appropriate.”
You Ruxu, listening to her, had changed her profile picture, trying several options before settling on this one.
Zhou Tianzui clicked on the profile picture, and You Ruxu asked, “What’s wrong?”
She replied: [I’ll come find you tomorrow.]
You Ruxu, receiving the message, felt a strange sense of anticipation. She sat on the sofa, listening to the Spring Festival Gala playing on TV. Wu Xiulian asked, “Xu Xu, want some fruit?”
She called her name twice before You Ruxu reacted.
Wu Xiulian asked, “What are you thinking about?”
You Ruxu looked down, “Nothing.”
Wu Xiulian said, “Thinking about Dr. Zhou?”
You Ruxu pursed her lips. Wu Xiulian said, “Xu Xu, regarding her mother, your aunt will go talk to her again…”
“Aunt.” You Ruxu interrupted her. “Let me handle it.”
Wu Xiulian looked at her, then fell silent.
The sounds of laughter and cheerful banter from the Spring Festival Gala filled the room. You Ruxu sat on the sofa, like an emotionless doll, her expression blank, just quietly watching.
She was thinking about Zhou Tianzui, about seeing her tomorrow, what would they talk about, did Yu Qiao know?
She thought about it even as she went to bed, barely sleeping all night, woken by the sound of firecrackers, she didn’t bother trying to sleep anymore, just sat by the window, wrapped in a blanket, watching the fireworks explode outside, their colors bright and dazzling. She started reminiscing about her first meeting with Zhou Tianzui, their first conversation, sitting in the car together, the scent of disinfectant filling the air.
She remembered Zhou Tianzui in her white coat, standing at the operating room door, she remembered interviewing her, she remembered Zhou Tianzui smiling at her, those unspoken moments, now sweet and bittersweet memories.
Outside, Wu Xiulian called out, “Xu Xu, are you awake?”
She had been sitting for too long, her legs and back numb. She stretched for a bit before going out. Opening the door, she saw Zhou Tianzui sitting on the sofa, she froze, wondering if she was dreaming.
Wu Xiulian smiled, “Go wash up, Dr. Zhou’s having breakfast with us.”
You Ruxu snapped back to reality and hurried to the bathroom. Looking at her reflection in the mirror, her hair disheveled, her clothes rumpled, she felt a little embarrassed. She quickly tidied herself up, even changing her clothes, before going out. Zhou Tianzui was sitting at the dining table. You Ruxu heard Wu Xiulian ask, “Your mother…”
“My mom went out this morning.” Yu Qiao had been invited to Auntie Yang’s house, but she declined, saying she had something to do. Yu Qiao hadn’t asked what it was, just left quietly. Zhou Tianzui had watched her go, then after a long moment, went to You Ruxu’s apartment.
She hadn’t slept all night, although she was wearing makeup, her exhaustion was evident. You Ruxu sat beside her, noticing a few gray strands at Zhou Tianzui’s temples. Her heart ached, her gaze lingering on Zhou Tianzui’s profile. Zhou Tianzui turned to her, “What’s wrong?”
You Ruxu said, “Nothing.”
Zhou Tianzui sat quietly. Wu Xiulian said, “You two eat, I’m going out to buy some things.”
She deliberately gave them some space, knowing Zhou Tianzui had something to say. You Ruxu nodded.
After Wu Xiulian left, You Ruxu put down her chopsticks. Zhou Tianzui looked over, “Not eating?”
Before You Ruxu could speak, Zhou Tianzui said, “Break that habit of not eating properly.”
Hearing her words, You Ruxu’s eyes teared up, she lowered her head, “Anything else?”
Zhou Tianzui said, “Be careful at work.”
You Ruxu said, “I know.”
Zhou Tianzui said, “Eat your meals on time, and don’t be so picky.”
You Ruxu looked down, her vision blurring, a lump forming in her throat, making it painful to swallow. She still managed to say, “You too, eat more, rest more.”
From the corner of her eye, she saw the gray strands at Zhou Tianzui’s temples, the sight making her heart ache, a suffocating pain. She quickly looked away. Zhou Tianzui said, “I eat more than you.”
“Do you?”
“Let’s compare.”
“Childish.”
They chuckled softly, remembering their usual banter, Zhou Tianzui took a bite of her food, but couldn’t swallow, the taste lingering in her mouth. She took a sip of soup, chewing slowly, and finally swallowed.
The living room was quiet.
She put down her chopsticks, wiped her mouth with a napkin, and said to You Ruxu, “Give me your hand.”
You Ruxu turned and extended her hand, “What is it?”
Zhou Tianzui said, “A New Year’s gift.”
You Ruxu’s hand was cold. She looked down; it was a key, to their apartment. You Ruxu’s lips twitched, a strained smile, “Are you moving out?”
Zhou Tianzui said, “Yes, I’m going to live with my mom.”
You Ruxu nodded, noticing the red string bracelet was gone from Zhou Tianzui’s wrist. She looked at her own wrist, still wearing the matching bracelet, her nose tingling slightly, “That’s good, you should spend more time with Auntie.”
Zhou Tianzui said, “Then I’ll be going now.”
“Zhou Tianzui.” You Ruxu suddenly called out, and Zhou Tianzui, about to stand up, stopped and looked at her.
You Ruxu looked at Zhou Tianzui, “I want…”
“Don’t.” Zhou Tianzui interrupted her, their eyes meeting, a flicker of sadness in Zhou Tianzui’s eyes as she smiled faintly, her expression not cold like yesterday, but calm and gentle, “Don’t wait for me.”
You Ruxu’s throat tightened, she couldn’t even manage a single word.
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