Chapter 108: Apology
“Ding!” The spoon in You Ruxu’s hand slipped, hitting the edge of the lunchbox with a clink. She looked at Wu Xiulian, her expression blank, her eyes instantly welling up with tears. She opened her mouth, but her throat was tight, unable to speak.
Wu Xiulian looked at her, “Xu Xu, do you remember when you first came to live with us?”
You Ruxu, after a long moment, found her voice, her voice hoarse, “Does it matter?”
“When you first arrived, you were so cautious, always trying to please everyone, I knew you were afraid my sister would send you away, regret adopting you. You wanted a home, even a fake one, you pretended to be You Ruxu, suppressed your true self, played the role of a deceased child.” Wu Xiulian said, “My heart ached for you back then.”
You Ruxu remembered those first few years after being adopted, how kind Wu Xiulian had been to her, taking her out to play, letting her make mistakes, only in front of Wu Xiulian could she truly be herself, not “You Ruxu.”
Wu Xiulian continued, “You knew my sister just needed something to hold onto, you knew my brother-in-law cared about appearances, so you played the role willingly, because you thought you were a good child, a child deserving of a home.”
But that notebook.
Shattered all of You Ruxu’s carefully constructed beliefs.
She had a persistent fever during that time, on and off for over a week, no other symptoms, just a fever. The doctors told her there was nothing wrong with her physically.
If there was nothing wrong physically, then it was a mental issue, a sickness of the heart, You Ruxu felt she wasn’t worthy of being a good child, she didn’t deserve it.
She started to loathe herself.
If the notebook incident implicated You Ruxu, implicated the You family, You Ruxu, already feeling guilty towards Zhou Qiming, would feel even more guilty towards Wu Xiulian and You Shu.
She wouldn’t have been able to handle it.
Back then, You Ruxu would have chosen death over the shame.
Wu Xiulian’s mother had just lost a daughter, she didn’t want to see her lose another, her sister couldn’t bear it, and she didn’t want to see You Ruxu destroy herself, so she chose to hide the truth.
You Ruxu’s voice was choked with emotion, “So, the notebook, it wasn’t lost?”
It was just hidden by Wu Xiulian?
She shook her head.
As if unable to accept it.
Wu Xiulian called out to her, “Xu Xu.”
You Ruxu was in a daze, wanting to leave, when Zhou Tianzui suddenly grabbed the armrest of her wheelchair. You Ruxu looked down at Zhou Tianzui.
Her voice choked with tears, “Zhou Tianzui.”
Zhou Tianzui’s voice was low and steady, “Yes.”
You Ruxu said, “I’m sorry.”
Zhou Tianzui said, “I heard you.”
You Ruxu broke down, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry…”
Zhou Tianzui was speechless.
This time, she couldn’t say “it’s okay.”
She knew about the notebook, You Ruxu had told her after confessing everything, she had finally come to terms with it being lost, and now she was told it was hidden all along.
Logically, she should be angry, disgusted by Wu Xiulian’s actions.
But emotionally.
She felt a deep sense of exhaustion and helplessness.
Wu Xiulian put down her spoon, took the notebook from her bag, and handed it to You Ruxu.
You Ruxu suddenly didn’t dare take it.
She asked, “You’ve been carrying it with you all this time?”
“No.” Wu Xiulian said, “I kept it safe, I came to Jindu this time to tell you about it.”
But she had been hesitant, unsure whether to tell her.
Seeing You Ruxu and Zhou Tianzui’s relationship deepen, she didn’t know if she should tell them, or keep the secret forever.
If it wasn’t for Zhou Qiming’s name being dragged through the mud again, would she have brought it out?
Or would she have continued to avoid it, like she had countless times before?
She didn’t know.
You Ruxu reached out, her hand trembling. She looked at Zhou Tianzui.
Zhou Tianzui reached out before her and took the notebook, opening it.
A work journal, the front page usually containing the name of the organization and the person’s name.
Jindu TV Midday News Team, Zhou Qiming.
Zhou Tianzui abruptly closed the notebook.
Wu Xiulian said, “Dr. Zhou…”
“Get out.” Zhou Tianzui’s voice trembled as she suppressed her emotions. “Both of you, get out.”
You Ruxu’s eyes burned. She turned her wheelchair and left, Wu Xiulian beside her. Reaching the door, they heard a soft sob from behind, and You Ruxu’s heart clenched, a sharp pain, her hand gripping the wheel of the wheelchair so tightly her knuckles turned white.
Wu Xiulian opened the door.
You Ruxu, in a daze, slowly wheeled herself out.
Her back to Zhou Tianzui, the door gently closing behind her. Wu Xiulian said, “Xu Xu, I’m sorry, it’s my fault.”
You Ruxu didn’t speak, her voice choked with emotion.
She said, “Aunt, I need some air.”
Wu Xiulian said, “I’ll go with you.”
You Ruxu said, “You stay here, my mother isn’t back yet.”
Wu Xiulian paused for a few seconds, then nodded.
You Ruxu took the elevator alone. It was crowded, and people moved aside, giving her space, considerate of her injury. You Ruxu moved to the back of the elevator, her head lowered.
“How’s that doctor doing?”
“Which one?”
“The one who was stabbed.”
“Oh, the one from the obstetrics department? I heard she’s okay. Hey, didn’t you hear, her father wasn’t a good person, a rapist.”
“What?”
You Ruxu closed her eyes.
The elevator reached the lobby.
Sounds from all directions assaulted her ears.
“That child’s mother died.”
“The one who jumped from the building?”
“I heard it was attempted rape.”
“Who said that? She was raped, then she and the man died together, there was also a good samaritan who tried to help, but he was also dragged down with them.”
“That’s so unlucky, who was the good samaritan?”
“I don’t know, seems like he didn’t have any family, otherwise, there would have been a huge fuss.”
“That child was strange, she didn’t even cry.”
“Her mother was raped, and she didn’t even cry, so cold-blooded.”
Raped?
What was “raped”?
She didn’t know.
But she knew it wasn’t good, that it meant someone had hurt her mother.
Her mother had been crying a lot recently, going into a room with that man, then coming out crying. She had asked her mother what was wrong, and her mother always said it was nothing.
She didn’t like that man, he reminded her of her father.
She was afraid her mother would be hurt again.
She hated that man.
If he wasn’t around, her mother wouldn’t cry anymore.
“Little girl, don’t be afraid, tell me, which one of these two men hurt your mommy?”
Numbly, she had pointed at the man.
The people around her exchanged glances.
A woman rushed in.
“You’re lying, aren’t you?!” The woman screamed at her, “You’re lying!”
She wasn’t lying.
She wasn’t!
She wanted to hide.
Yes, to hide.
You Ruxu instinctively tried to move, but her leg gave way, and she fell from the wheelchair. People rushed over, their concerned voices surrounding her.
She sat there, unable to respond.
She turned the wheelchair and quickly moved away.
“Hey!”
The voices faded behind her. You Ruxu couldn’t hear them anymore. She leaned against the cold, white tiles, her head hitting the wall with a thud, and started crying softly.
She had so many chances to tell the truth.
So many chances.
But she didn’t!
She didn’t!
She didn’t!!
You Ruxu kept her head lowered, the weight of her guilt preventing her from straightening her back. If she had told Wu Xiulian earlier, if she had come clean, would Zhou Qiming’s name have been cleared sooner?
It was her, selfishly enjoying her relationship with Zhou Tianzui, she was the shameless one.
You Ruxu leaned against the wall, her head resting on the cold tiles, a sharp pain radiating from her heart, those invisible wounds tearing her apart, healing, then reopening, hot oil pouring onto the raw flesh, the pain consuming her.
Her phone rang.
You Ruxu was in a daze. A nurse, passing by, seeing her phone ringing, said, “Your phone’s ringing.”
She looked up at the nurse.
The nurse’s voice seemed distant and distorted. You Ruxu only heard the nurse’s concerned voice, a cacophony of sounds assaulting her ears before she closed her eyes, her mind reeling.
You Ruxu fainted.
Wu Xiulian rushed to her ward. The doctor said it was an emotional breakdown, nothing physically wrong. Wu Xiulian breathed a sigh of relief, sat by the bed, listening to You Ruxu’s phone ring incessantly. She came back to her senses and answered the call.
It was Chen Xiang.
Chen Xiang said, “Teacher You, what time is that interview scheduled for?”
Wu Xiulian said, “I’m sorry, she’s resting.”
“Oh—” Chen Xiang realized, “I’m sorry, is this her mother?”
Wu Xiulian gave a noncommittal “mm-hmm,” “I’m her aunt.”
“Hello, Auntie.” Chen Xiang said, “Teacher You’s resting? Could you please ask her to call me back when she wakes up?”
Wu Xiulian said, “Okay.”
Chen Xiang hung up.
Just as Wu Xiulian put down the phone, she heard a weak voice behind her, “Aunt.”
Wu Xiulian turned around.
You Ruxu was awake, staring at the ceiling. Wu Xiulian leaned closer, “Xu Xu, if you’re unhappy, you can yell at me, but don’t hurt yourself.”
Yell at her?
You Ruxu shook her head.
Wu Xiulian did it for her.
If it wasn’t for her, Wu Xiulian wouldn’t have done such a thing. She couldn’t yell at her.
She asked, “Where’s Zhou Tianzui?”
Wu Xiulian said, “She’s still in her ward, refusing visitors.”
Yu Qiao was also refusing visitors, saying she needed to rest. Yu Qiao thought it was because of the incident at the hospital and had calmed down somewhat.
You Ruxu said, “I’m going to see her.”
Wu Xiulian said, “You should rest…”
“I can’t rest anymore.” You Ruxu said, “I’ve rested for far too long.”
Wu Xiulian was silent.
She wheeled You Ruxu to Zhou Tianzui’s ward, Yu Qiao, seeing them, asked, “What happened to Xiao Tian?”
You Ruxu said, “I, Auntie, I…” Her eyes reddened before she could speak, her voice choked with emotion, “I’ll go ask her.”
Yu Qiao looked at her, then after a few seconds, nodded, “Okay, go ahead.”
You Ruxu opened the door and entered, hearing Zhou Tianzui’s angry voice, “I said, leave me alone!”
“Zhou Tianzui.” You Ruxu’s voice was soft. Zhou Tianzui opened her eyes and saw You Ruxu in her wheelchair, “Give me the notebook.”
Zhou Tianzui was holding the notebook, she didn’t dare open it, just looking at the name on the cover had taken all her strength and courage. You Ruxu wheeled herself closer, extended her hand, and said, “Give it to me, I’ll give it to Chen Xiang, she’ll publish the story…”
She looked at Zhou Tianzui, her face pale and gaunt, her eyes red and swollen, her expression blank. Zhou Tianzui looked at her, then suddenly said, “Hug me.”
You Ruxu froze.
Zhou Tianzui repeated, “Can you hug me?”
You Ruxu bit her lip, her outstretched hand moving to Zhou Tianzui’s shoulder, pulling her into an embrace. She tried to lean closer, but Zhou Tianzui’s hand on her waist, although light, held her in place. You Ruxu buried her face in Zhou Tianzui’s embrace and started crying softly.
Zhou Tianzui looked away.
You Ruxu started apologizing again, over and over.
Zhou Tianzui didn’t respond.
You Ruxu’s crying intensified, her breathing ragged. Zhou Tianzui handed her the notebook. You Ruxu slowly pulled away, looking at Zhou Tianzui.
Zhou Tianzui said, “Take it.”
You Ruxu said, “I’ll ask Chen Xiang to publish it as soon as possible…”
“You publish it.” Zhou Tianzui interrupted her, opening the drawer of the bedside table, and taking out You Ruxu’s press pass, handing it to her.
You Ruxu looked down at the press pass, her emotions, tightly coiled, threatening to unravel, her hand trembling as she reached for it, the press pass warm in her hand.
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