Vol 1 Chapter 34: The Witch
There was no God in this world, no one capable of truly changing another person. Those who attempted to manipulate human nature with words would eventually face the consequences. An Baili was Lu Li’s consequence. Even now, he didn’t understand that the fault wasn’t An Baili’s, but his own. He had manipulated her, trying to mold her into someone she wasn’t, ultimately leading to exhaustion and her desperate outburst.
And now, he was doing the same to Chu Jingyi, manipulating her emotions, her smiles and frowns. This world was built on mutual manipulation. Chu Xiaodong was manipulating him too. It was an inescapable web, and few could break free from it with clarity.
*
An Baili’s backpack had a frog keychain dangling from it, a hideous creature with dull fur and mismatched features. She placed the bag by her feet, fished out her keys from her pocket, and stood before the door. For most people, “going home” was a comforting and pleasant experience. An Baili wasn’t one of them. She didn’t like going home, no matter how many times she relived her life. She didn’t like returning to “her parents’ home.”
For a child, having both parents was the greatest blessing. If one was destined for greatness, being orphaned like Lu Li was also acceptable. But the most agonizing family situation was a single-parent household, with either a father or a mother missing. That was An Baili’s reality.
Walking through the relatively clean living room, she saw her father, An Gulai, passed out drunk on the sofa. The TV was on, but due to unpaid bills, it only showed boring and ridiculous infomercials for health products. As she approached to turn it off, she heard a stirring behind her and instinctively flinched.
“Don’t turn off the TV! I’m not asleep!” His voice boomed, as if amplified by a loudspeaker.
Despite her memories from her previous life, An Baili couldn’t help but feel a surge of fear at the impatient tone. This voice had haunted her for half her life, a nightmare that had shattered her childhood. She instinctively touched her glasses, making sure they were still in place and her bangs hadn’t shifted, before turning around with trembling hands.
“I thought you were asleep.”
An Gulai roared, “Are you blind? Can’t you see I’m not asleep? Go make me some food!”
An Baili lowered her head and scurried away to the kitchen, her disgust barely contained. The kitchen, which she had just cleaned yesterday, was a mess again. Beer was spilled everywhere, and there were large footprints on the counter. What kind of drunken rampage had he been on this time? As she picked up the broken glass from the floor, she imagined stabbing An Gulai’s throat with a shard, watching him die in agony.
After quickly making some fried rice, she carried the bowl to the living room. Before she even reached the door, she heard An Gulai sobbing inside. This was nothing new. He would alternate between bouts of hysterical rage and self-pitying tears, but none of it had anything to do with her, his daughter. If she dared to inquire, she would be met with punches and kicks, leaving her unable to wear short sleeves to school for weeks.
She placed the fried rice by the door, not daring to make a sound, like a hunter avoiding a wild beast in the jungle.
Through the crack in the door, she saw him clutching a photo of her mother, tears streaming down his face. How many tears could one shed for a person who had been dead for sixteen years? Would he be able to bring her back to life if he cried enough? She sneered at him before heading upstairs to her room, carefully locking the door behind her.
Two more years until she graduated high school. Two more years of enduring this. At times like this, she missed Lu Li terribly. She sat at her desk and saw the three empty pen refills. She had used these to write the entire game proposal, working in the dark for fear of being discovered by An Gulai. She would open the window and write by the moonlight.
She heard the front door open downstairs. An Gulai must be going out for more drinks after his meager dinner. Calling it “drinking” was an overstatement. It was more like a pathetic moocher shamelessly sponging off construction workers. Everyone at the site knew how he would use his deceased wife’s story to gain sympathy. At first, people pitied him, offering him cheap beer. But as time went on, he was only met with looks of disgust.
An Baili hid by the window, watching her father leave in his outdated black leather jacket. That jacket – a birthday gift from her mother, according to him – was one of his few possessions of value. He treasured it even more than his own daughter. Ironically, in her previous life, he had been wearing that very jacket when he was killed by a robber.
An Baili cursed her father, hoping the robber would come sooner rather than later.
Only after he left did she dare to leave her room. She went to the bathroom and removed her ugly glasses, staring at her reflection in the mirror. After a moment’s thought, she pushed back her thick bangs, revealing her beautiful face. Her mother’s photo was pinned beside the mirror, a young woman with bright eyes and a sweet smile, bearing a striking resemblance to An Baili. That was her mother. Although An Baili had never met her, she lived in her shadow everywhere she went – thanks to her “devoted” father.
Hiding her beauty hadn’t been her original intention. What girl didn’t want to look her best in her youth? The memory that stood out most vividly was from when she was twelve years old. Her features had started to resemble her late mother, and that was when An Gulai’s episodes became increasingly frequent. She remembered coming home from school that day and seeing her father’s dark expression. His face had contorted, like a monster ready to devour her. He had accused her of killing his wife, saying she shouldn’t have been born. He had beaten her mercilessly, and she had only survived because a passerby heard her cries and called the police.
It was a terrible memory. An Baili had often wondered if things would have been different if she hadn’t looked so much like her mother.
She admired her reflection, recalling her sweet moments with Lu Li, and hummed a happy tune. She loved singing, loved music. The darker her life became, the more she sang. It kept her from losing her mind, like her father.
An Baili narrowed her eyes, imitating Lu Li’s voice. “Baili, I’m sorry. It was my fault. Please forgive me. Let’s get back together.”
Her smile widened, as if Lu Li had actually said those words. Even though she knew it was just a delusion, she clung to it like an addict, seeking solace in self-deception. Then, the thought of Zou Yameng and Chu Jingyi crossed her mind. Her smile faded. Chu Jingyi was fine, just a naive little girl. But Zou Yameng, in her memories, was a cunning seductress. And Lu Li was completely unguarded around her.
What if Lu Li never came back to her? Simple. She just had to make all the other women around him disappear. Like the last man and woman on earth, they would be bound to end up together. Her thoughts grew dark.
She couldn’t wait any longer. Wen Hupo would be transferring soon, and she wouldn’t allow Lu Li’s affections to be diverted towards her, like in her previous life. No matter how many times she relived her life, Lu Li belonged to her, and only her.
An Baili in the mirror was young and beautiful, but her expression was dark and alluring, like a witch from the abyss.
****
(End of Volume 1: Rebirth and Other Matters)
Preview vol 2 : The Sweetness of Sunset**
The air had a scent. Air warmed by the setting sun was sweet. It was said that the afterglow of sunset paired best with a youthful kiss.
“Too sweet…”
Perhaps sweetness and pain always went hand in hand.
“Haven’t you had enough?!”
The truth, sharp as a blade.
“No matter how many times, I’ve fallen in love with you!”
He struggled in the whirlpool, deceiving himself.
“You won’t lie to me again… right?”
But no matter what, a man had to make his own choices.
“Becoming a scumbag wasn’t my intention.”
Maybe he would face doubts from others.
“Xiao Lu, are you sure about this?”
“Can all the riddle-speakers just shut up?!”
But when he was tired, there would always be a warm embrace to lean on.
“Li Zi, welcome back.”
Next volume: The Sweetness of Sunset.
“Chen Jianing, are you crazy?!”