Chapter 69 p2
Before getting back into the van, Xu Jinnan removed her bloodstained trench coat.
Tong Jia was sitting beside Shen Shu, who seemed calmer now, her trembling having subsided, though she was still leaning against the window, her eyes closed.
Tong Jia got out and went to the driver’s seat, giving Xu Jinnan her place.
Xu Jinnan took Shen Shu’s cold hands in hers. “It’s okay. She won’t ever hurt you again,” she said softly.
Shen Shu’s fingers twitched. She had heard the screams and knew what Xu Jinnan had done.
But she didn’t want to think about it, didn’t even want to picture the woman’s face.
“Don’t think about it,” Xu Jinnan said, putting her arm around Shen Shu and pulling her into a hug. “Don’t think about anything. I’m here.”
They drove back to Xingcheng International in silence.
The journey, usually forty minutes, took longer, Xu Jinnan driving slowly.
As they arrived, Xu Jinnan got out of the car and helped Shen Shu out.
Shen Shu’s legs were still weak, and she stumbled slightly as she stepped onto the pavement.
Then, she was lifted off the ground.
Xu Jinnan had scooped her up into her arms. She turned to Tong Jia, who had gotten out of the van. “Go home. Don’t worry about this. Drive safely,” she said.
“I’m sorry,” Tong Jia whispered, her voice choked with emotion.
It was the second time she had apologized.
“Jia Jia,” Shen Shu said, her voice hoarse, wanting to reassure her.
It wasn’t Tong Jia’s fault; she had been careless.
“Don’t. I know you don’t blame me, but I can’t forgive myself, Shu Shu. I’m so sorry,” Tong Jia said, unable to look at the red marks on Shen Shu’s neck.
“I’ll handle things at the studio. Get some rest. I’ll go now,” she said, not wanting to prolong Shen Shu’s distress. She could tell Shen Shu was forcing herself to be strong.
She got back into the van and drove away.
Xu Jinnan carried Shen Shu into the apartment building, her pace quickening as she noticed people staring. She held Shen Shu closer, shielding her.
Inside the apartment, she carried her to the bedroom.
“I need to take a shower,” Shen Shu said, her voice barely a whisper.
“Okay.”
As Xu Jinnan bent down to help her remove her shoes, Shen Shu’s hand tightened around her arm.
She didn’t want Xu Jinnan to do this for her.
Xu Jinnan gently removed Shen Shu’s hand and took off her shoes.
Shen Shu was wearing a light purple dress and flat, cream-colored shoes, her legs still sore from horseback riding.
As she placed the shoes on the floor, Xu Jinnan noticed a small tear in the fabric near Shen Shu’s knee. “Can I take a look?” she asked, her hand gently touching the fabric.
Shen Shu nodded.
Xu Jinnan lifted the hem of the dress, revealing a small, red scrape on Shen Shu’s knee. It wasn’t bleeding.
She checked Shen Shu’s elbow, which was also slightly red, but protected by her jacket.
The most serious injury was the one on her neck.
Xu Jinnan clenched her jaw, hearing Shen Shu’s soft voice. “I’m going to take a shower.” She couldn’t stand the Alpha’s scent on her any longer; it made her nauseous.
“I’ll get your pajamas,” Xu Jinnan said.
The apartment was silent. She opened the wardrobe and took out the strawberry-print pajama set.
“Will these do?”
Shen Shu nodded.
Xu Jinnan helped her stand.
“I’m fine now. I can manage,” Shen Shu said, her voice still hoarse, but calmer now, her composure returning, though it was clearly a forced composure.
Xu Jinnan looked at her for a moment. “Take your time.”
Shen Shu nodded, her demeanor calm and collected, her usual aloofness returning.
Xu Jinnan watched as she walked towards the bathroom, her heart aching.
She knew Shen Shu was just pretending to be strong.
She didn’t want to push her, to make her even more withdrawn. Shen Shu might seem strong, but she was incredibly vulnerable right now.
And Xu Jinnan knew that with Shen Shu’s personality, she needed space, time to process everything on her own.
She sat on the sofa, waiting.
Waiting for Shen Shu to emerge from the bathroom, her mind racing, unable to focus on anything else.
After half an hour, just as she was about to knock on the door, the sound of the shower stopped.
She heard the sliding glass door open, then the sound of Shen Shu’s footsteps… She deliberately focused on other things, trying to distract herself.
The bathroom door opened, and Shen Shu slowly emerged, her face, ears, neck, and hands flushed from the hot water, her skin almost glowing.
Shen Shu, seeing Xu Jinnan at the doorway, murmured, “I’m going to bed.”
“Shu Shu,” Xu Jinnan said, taking her hand, which was burning hot.
“I’m fine. I just need some sleep,” Shen Shu said, her voice calm, as if nothing had happened.
Xu Jinnan paused, then nodded. “Okay.”
She watched as Shen Shu went into her bedroom, lay down on the bed, then, after turning off the lights, closed the door.
—
Shen Shu lay curled up in bed, her hands clutched to her chest, her body trembling despite her attempts to calm down, her heart pounding.
She was reminded of the time after her grandmother’s death.
She had heard Wei Wuqing was going to burn all of her grandmother’s belongings, and when she called, Wei Wuqing had said, She’s gone. What good are dead people’s things? If you want them, come and pick them out of the fire yourself.
She had hung up and run towards the Shen residence, her mind reeling, the city shrouded in a gray mist, the buildings like ghostly figures, the world feeling dirty and polluted.
It was the kind of weather that felt like death, the finality of her grandmother’s passing a heavy weight on her heart.
She had felt like the world was ending.
She had waited for a taxi, but none came, the usually readily available cars nowhere to be seen.
Perhaps it hadn’t been that long, but she couldn’t bear the wait.
She had run towards the bus stop, the drizzle soaking her hair and clothes.
Wanting to save time, she had taken a shortcut through a narrow alleyway.
Halfway through, she had noticed a woman behind her, wearing a silver mirrored visor and a dark blue coat.
The woman had smiled at her, a seemingly kind and gentle smile.
She had continued walking, quickening her pace.
The dark clouds overhead made the alleyway even darker, and the bad weather meant there were few people around.
The woman had covered her mouth and nose from behind, dragging her into a side alley.
Then, the repulsive scent of cheap Alpha pheromones had filled the air, suffocating her, triggering a wave of panic…
It was as if she was back in that alleyway, back in the parking garage just a few hours ago.
She opened her eyes, gasping for breath.
Then, the bedroom door opened, the light from the living room spilling in. She closed her eyes again, then heard the soft click of the door closing, and Xu Jinnan’s quiet footsteps approaching.
She smelled the familiar, sunny scent of Xu Jinnan’s pheromones, the cool touch of her hand on her forehead a welcome contrast to the burning heat of her own skin, the faint fragrance of milk from Xu Jinnan’s shower gel lingering in the air.
For some reason, her eyes started to sting.
The mattress dipped beside her, and she felt Xu Jinnan lie down.
Xu Jinnan turned on her side, facing Shen Shu, her voice soft and gentle in the dim light. “Shu Shu, can I hold you?”
Shen Shu’s eyes welled up, and she opened them, meeting Xu Jinnan’s gaze, though she couldn’t see her expression clearly. Xu Jinnan’s hand gently grasped her arm through the blanket, her touch firm and reassuring.
Shen Shu couldn’t resist, letting Xu Jinnan pull her closer, her own hand reaching out to rest on Xu Jinnan’s back, her burning cheek pressed against Xu Jinnan’s shoulder.
It was a close, almost desperate embrace.
Xu Jinnan’s breath hitched, her throat tightening, her hand gently stroking Shen Shu’s hair. “Shu Shu,” she whispered, her voice husky, “I told you, you don’t have to hide anything from me. You don’t have to be strong.”
Shen Shu’s voice, muffled against Xu Jinnan’s shoulder, was hoarse and broken, unlike her usual cool composure.
“I don’t want to…” she whispered, the unfinished sentence a reflection of her inner turmoil.
She didn’t want to be vulnerable in front of Xu Jinnan.
She didn’t want Xu Jinnan to think she needed her.
She had simply realized, suddenly and unexpectedly, that she cared, more than she had anticipated, both physically and emotionally.
And she didn’t like it.
She wanted Xu Jinnan to need her too, an equal exchange of vulnerability and dependence.
As Xu Jinnan was about to ask what she meant, Shen Shu lifted her head, her hair brushing against Xu Jinnan’s chin, the tingling sensation lingering on her skin.
Then, a warm softness replaced the tingling as Shen Shu’s lips brushed against her chin, then moved upwards to her mouth.
A soft, urgent kiss, like a kitten lapping up milk.
Xu Jinnan froze for a moment, then her arms tightened around Shen Shu, her body responding to the kiss, her own desire flaring, her response seemingly pleasing Shen Shu, who shifted slightly, her hand resting on Xu Jinnan’s shoulder blade, her position precarious.
Xu Jinnan, worried about her elbow, tried to roll over, but Shen Shu’s fingers tightened on her arm, a silent protest.
Xu Jinnan sighed inwardly, letting Shen Shu take the lead.
But Shen Shu’s movements were clumsy, and Xu Jinnan winced several times.
She gently pushed Shen Shu back down, and Shen Shu, her head tilted back, met Xu Jinnan’s gaze, her lips slightly parted. Xu Jinnan’s hand moved to the back of Shen Shu’s head, cradling it gently as she leaned in closer.
Shen Shu’s hands gripped Xu Jinnan’s shoulders as she was pushed back against the bed.
Afraid she would fall, Xu Jinnan shifted, pulling Shen Shu closer.
She briefly broke the kiss, her gaze lingering on Shen Shu’s flushed cheeks, her chin, her earlobe, then finally resting on the red marks on her neck.
Her gentle gaze was like a soothing balm, a silent promise of protection.
At that moment, she felt a sharp sting in her scent gland, more intense than before.
But it was fleeting, and she dismissed it, clinging to the hope that it was just a minor fluctuation.
But she couldn’t let her desire consume her. She forced herself to slow down, her movements gentler, giving Shen Shu time to catch her breath.
Her voice, as hoarse as Shen Shu’s, whispered a question in Shen Shu’s ear.
In the darkness, Shen Shu’s face, flushed like a sunset, responded.
—
After a while, Shen Shu said, “It’s raining. The flowers are still on the balcony.” It was a pot of roses, blooming despite the autumn weather, which Xu Jinnan had brought home from the office.
“I’ll go get them,” Xu Jinnan said.
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