Chapter 61
Awkward. That was the best word to describe how Xu Jinnan felt right now.
“…” Shen Shu should know these aren’t mine.
“They’re not mine,” she clarified anyway.
Besides the handbag, Xu Jinnan remembered the blue suitcase was still in the closet. She had been meaning to get rid of it, its contents too embarrassing to be seen, but she had kept putting it off and had forgotten about it.
She should be grateful Cai Ying had started from the bottom of the closet and had even asked before taking the bag.
Xu Jinnan bent down and picked up the thin rope that had landed on Shen Shu’s foot. It was long and thin, like a jump rope.
She put it in the bag, then gathered the other… items.
“Do you… enjoy these things?” Shen Shu asked, looking down at her.
Xu Jinnan’s hand froze as she picked up a particularly suggestive item, the texture familiar. “No,” she replied, then, after a moment, added honestly, “I wouldn’t say I dislike them either.”
“Then what?” Shen Shu asked, her voice neutral.
“…” Is this really an appropriate topic for midnight conversation?
“It depends,” Xu Jinnan replied.
If these things were used to take advantage of someone, like the original Xu Jinnan had intended to do to Shen Shu, it would be disgusting. “But between consenting adults, or a couple, I don’t see anything wrong with it,” she said. What people did in private was their own business.
She tossed a deflated balloon into the bag, then, realizing Shen Shu hadn’t responded, quickly added, “I mean…”
“What’s that?” Shen Shu interrupted, pointing towards something by the bed.
Xu Jinnan looked down and picked up a thin, black chain with leather wrist restraints attached to each end, the length just enough to allow for limited movement when worn.
Shen Shu stared at it, the purpose obvious.
Her gaze lingered on the chain, then on Xu Jinnan’s slender, pale hands.
She had always found such things repulsive, but now, seeing them in Xu Jinnan’s hands, she didn’t feel any disgust.
She pushed the thought aside.
Her thoughts had been rather… inappropriate lately.
Xu Jinnan tossed the chain into the bag, her tone casual. “Don’t worry about this. I’ll get rid of it tomorrow after Cai Ying leaves.”
Shen Shu, watching her reaction, sat down on the bed. “I’m not worried. But Teacher Xu seems quite knowledgeable,” she said, a hint of amusement in her voice.
Xu Jinnan, hearing the teasing tone, sighed. “I’ve never used these things,” she said.
“Are you sure?” Shen Shu asked, her eyes narrowing slightly.
Xu Jinnan zipped up the bag, opened the wardrobe, and placed it inside, then remembered waking up at the hotel…
“…”
She coughed, glancing towards the guest room, then opened Shen Shu’s bedroom door.
She hadn’t expected Shen Shu’s sudden interest in these things.
She remembered Shen Shu’s look of disgust at the hotel, when she had seen the contents of the suitcase.
The light in the guest room was still on at 11:30 p.m., and Xu Jinnan could hear Cai Ying’s voice as she walked past. She returned to the bedroom. “She’s probably not coming over,” she said to Shen Shu, locking the door.
“Go to sleep.”
She took the new blanket Shen Shu had bought from the closet, the faint, clean scent filling the air as she unfolded it.
It smelled like spring, despite the autumn weather.
Shen Shu, watching her spread the blanket on the floor, her expression softening slightly, said nothing.
As Xu Jinnan knelt down to straighten the blanket, she felt a sudden chill and instinctively turned around, just as a pillow struck her in the face.
It was a down pillow, soft and light, the impact painless.
She stared at Shen Shu, who had already turned her back and lay down on the bed, her action a clear sign of lingering annoyance.
She was still angry.
Xu Jinnan turned off the lights, then sat on the floor, her arms crossed, lost in thought, the light from her phone illuminating the ceiling.
She picked it up.
Lu Yun had sent her a message.
She had received a couple of messages from Lu Yun earlier that day, asking if she was busy and if they could meet.
Since Xu Yincheng’s return, her contact with Lu Yun had decreased significantly. Lu Yun used to visit her every few days, but lately, she had been strangely absent.
It had made Xu Jinnan’s life much more peaceful.
Meeting with Lu Yun wasn’t unusual, but the timing was…
She had just returned from Qucheng last night…
Lu Yun: [Nannan, are you asleep?]
Xu Jinnan: [No.]
Lu Yun: [Let’s meet tomorrow at noon. I’ll come to your office, or we can meet somewhere else.] Unlike her earlier messages, this one wasn’t a question.
It was a summons.
Xu Jinnan didn’t bother with pretense. [About Qucheng?]
A few seconds later: [You know what I want to talk about. You’re investigating again, aren’t you?]
Lu Yun: [I told you to stay away from Qucheng. Why won’t you listen?]
Xu Jinnan: [I wasn’t investigating. I was just passing through on a business trip.]
Lu Yun wouldn’t believe her; it was just an excuse.
Knowing she wouldn’t get the truth, Lu Yun quickly changed the subject. [Did you lay your hands on Xu Lian?]
Xu Jinnan slowly typed a reply: [I just remembered she… might have… laid her hands on me when I was little. I lost control.]
She had a feeling Lu Yun wouldn’t ask any further questions.
Based on their conversation in Xu Tao’s study, Lu Yun didn’t want her to bring up her childhood, because she was guilty.
As expected, after a long pause, Lu Yun replied.
Lu Yun: [Xu Lian called your father. She’s furious. And your grandmother knows about it too.]
Lu Yun: [But don’t worry, I’ll take care of it. Just take care of yourself.]
Lu Yun: [Get some rest. Don’t stay up too late.]
If this had been before, those words would have touched her, but now, she knew Lu Yun’s every word was carefully calculated, a gentle, loving trap.
She simply replied, “Okay.”
She turned off her phone, the room plunging into darkness, the faint light from the streetlights filtering through the gap in the curtains, like a thin veil, obscuring the darkness of the Xu family’s secrets.
She had copied the video Chen Yue had recorded and planned to review it tomorrow, hoping a different perspective would reveal something new.
She turned over, resting her head on her arm.
She couldn’t see Shen Shu, but she could hear her even breathing.
She remembered Shen Shu’s panicked words before they left Qucheng: Let’s go. I don’t want to be here.
What had she dreamed about? What had scared her so much?
And how could Xu Jinnan forget about the kiss in the car?
Lost in thought, she closed her eyes, then, just as she was drifting off to sleep, she felt Shen Shu’s breathing change.
—
Shen Shu felt like she was standing on a giant block of ice, the coldness seeping into her bones.
She was surrounded by darkness, and she struggled to open her eyes—
A square courtyard with high walls, cobwebs clinging to the dark tiles of the roof.
The windows were closed, the black double doors secured with silver latches.
The courtyard was bare, except for a large water tank in the corner, big enough to hold an adult, and a swing set swaying gently in the breeze, like a ghost pushing it.
She stood frozen, her body trembling with cold and fear, a sense of dread washing over her, as if anticipating something terrible.
Her legs trembled, but she couldn’t speak, couldn’t scream, her voice trapped in her throat.
Footsteps approached from behind, like the coming of a demon.
She desperately wanted to run, but as she reached for the gate, a hand grabbed her neck, pulling her back.
Pain. Suffocation.
She whimpered, praying for someone to save her…
Then, a hand grasped hers, pulling her away from the demon’s grasp, and they ran, a desperate flight through a crowded street, the faces of the passersby blurring.
They ran and ran, their breaths ragged, like they were running for their lives.
She couldn’t see the other person’s face, only the comforting warmth of their hand in hers, a sense of safety amidst the terror.
—
Shen Shu’s eyes fluttered open, the faint light of dawn filtering through the curtains, like a gentle dew. She was back in her own bed, safe from the nightmare.
A warm hand was clasped in hers, and she turned slightly to see Xu Jinnan lying on the floor beside the bed, her face resting on her arm, her other hand holding Shen Shu’s.
Xu Jinnan’s sleeping face was beautiful, devoid of the usual intensity of her almond-shaped eyes, her expression peaceful and innocent.
As Shen Shu’s fingers twitched, Xu Jinnan’s hand instinctively tightened around hers, as if reassuring her even in her sleep.
Shen Shu looked at her, the anger that had been simmering within her dissipating like a deflated balloon.
She didn’t know how long she had been sitting there, refusing to lie down, despite the discomfort.
She remembered Xu Jinnan’s words, Let’s take things slow, and she agreed.
But…
Xu Jinnan, you’re taking things too slow.
—
It was past 8 a.m.
As Cai Ying emerged from the guest room, she saw Xu Jinnan walking out of the bedroom, rubbing her lower back.
“Tsk tsk,” she said. “Young people and their lack of moderation. You’ll suffer when you’re older.”
Xu Jinnan: “…”
She really needed to talk to Shen Shu about Cai Ying and Tong Jia’s influence on each other. Their combined penchant for suggestive jokes was dangerous.
Her body ached, and she didn’t have the energy to argue, or the time to cook breakfast, so they had a simple meal of toast and milk.
As Shen Shu went to change, Cai Ying whispered, “You couldn’t coax her into forgiving you?” The question had a double meaning.
Xu Jinnan glared at her. “Eat your breakfast.”
Cai Ying sighed dramatically.
Xu Jinnan, unable to tolerate her any longer, chuckled. “I occasionally see your father. Does he know you’re planning to seduce your tutor?”
Cai Ying: “…Xu Jinnan, you’re playing dirty.”
Xu Jinnan finished her toast, her body stiff and aching from sleeping on the floor. “If you don’t hurry up, you’re washing the dishes,” she said.
“So childish,” Cai Ying muttered, though she quickly finished her milk, not wanting to wash the dishes.
As Xu Jinnan started clearing the table, Cai Ying looked at her, her expression turning serious. “Is it really that bad?” she asked. “Did you do something to upset Shu Shu? She’s usually easy to appease.”
“No,” Xu Jinnan replied.
She was simply feeling physically uncomfortable, unable to maintain her usual cheerful facade.
Cai Ying followed her to the kitchen island, leaning against it. “Xu Jinnan, can you ride a horse?” she asked.
“?”
“A horse. Like, at a riding stable,” Cai Ying clarified, as if explaining to a child.
“…Yes,” Xu Jinnan replied.
Despite being six or seven years older than Cai Ying, she sometimes couldn’t keep up with her train of thought.
As soon as she answered, Cai Ying dashed off, then returned a moment later. “A friend of mine owns a riding stable near my family’s resort. Shu Shu has always wanted to learn, but she never had the chance. Take her!” She handed Xu Jinnan a VIP card for the stable.
It was a members-only establishment, with limited access, like a private golf course.
Xu Jinnan hadn’t been to one since arriving in this world.
Just as they were talking, Shen Shu emerged from the bedroom, and Cai Ying, tossing the card onto the counter, went to talk to her.
Xu Jinnan placed the dishes in the drying rack, glancing at the VIP card, then smiled faintly.
So, last night’s dinner and the designer bags hadn’t been a complete waste.
She hadn’t known Shen Shu was interested in horseback riding.
—
As they were leaving, Cai Ying mentioned going to the movies with Han Ling that night.
“So, you’re officially dating now?” Xu Jinnan asked with a smile.
“Of course not! I’m playing hard to get,” Cai Ying replied.
“Waiting for her to make the first move?” Xu Jinnan asked, thinking, What if she doesn’t?
Cai Ying, missing the implication, retorted, “What kind of Alpha doesn’t make the first move?!”
Xu Jinnan: “…”
While it wasn’t directed at her, it still felt like a personal attack.
After Cai Ying’s driver picked her up, Xu Jinnan and Shen Shu drove to the office building.
Xu Jinnan took the private elevator from the basement, encountering a few employees on their way up.
Two young women excitedly called out Shen Shu’s name.
“Shu Bao! Can I have your autograph? I’m a huge fan!”
Shen Shu stopped, taking the pen and paper they offered.
Xu Jinnan felt a strange mix of emotions. While Shen Shu had been gaining popularity recently, it was only now that she truly felt it, the realization that this person beside her would one day be a star.
“CEO Xu, I’m a huge fan of yours too! I’m a CP fan! I check in to your super topic every day!” one of the women exclaimed, her eyes sparkling.
“Thank you,” Xu Jinnan replied with a smile.
As they stepped into the elevator, Xu Jinnan glanced at Shen Shu, whose makeup-free face, framed by the mask, looked fresh and youthful.
“Do you know about our super topic?” she asked.
“Yes,” Shen Shu replied. “Do you?”
“Yes, I do,” Xu Jinnan said, making small talk, wanting to see if Shen Shu would respond, a sign that she was no longer angry.
She dropped Shen Shu off at the film crew’s office, then went to her own.
It was Saturday, and the office was relatively empty, most of the staff having the day off.
—
After a busy afternoon, Xu Jinnan, feeling the tension in her neck, used a massage device while taking a break, then decided to check on Shen Shu.
Just as she was about to leave, Tong Jia arrived, carrying a small cake.
Xu Jinnan raised an eyebrow. “What’s this for?”
“It’s not for you. It’s for Viola,” Tong Jia replied.
Xu Jinnan: “…You two…?”
“CEO Xu, what are you thinking?” Tong Jia asked, shrugging. “She helped me with something, and she also helped with the police report the other day. I promised her afternoon tea, and I saw this cake and thought she might like it. Can you give it to her?”
“Oh, sure,” Xu Jinnan said, taking the cake.
“We managed to suppress the Sheng Xia CP rumors,” Tong Jia said, referring to the Shen Shu and Xia Chun super topic.
“Good,” Xu Jinnan replied.
Tong Jia leaned closer, her voice low. “Be honest, are you just worried about the rumors getting out of control, or are you a little jealous?”
Xu Jinnan glared at her, seeing the knowing look in her eyes. “Jealous of what?”
“Oh, so you’re not jealous. Good.” Tong Jia crossed her arms, joining Xu Jinnan by the glass wall. “Then take a look. A feast for the eyes. Don’t blink.”
Xu Jinnan, puzzled, didn’t reply, glancing through the glass wall into the office area, which was empty.
Shen Shu, seemingly makeup-free today, her face slightly pale, emerged from an office at the back, then suddenly stumbled, grabbing onto a nearby desk for support.
Just then, a figure rushed over to help her.
Xu Jinnan watched as Xia Chun, in character, gently pulled Shen Shu into a hug.
Xu Jinnan’s brow furrowed slightly.
Tong Jia, never one to miss an opportunity for drama, said, “CEO Xu, let me explain. This is the scene where the female lead and her first love, the third female lead, reunite.”
Xu Jinnan: “…”
—
Back in her office, Xu Jinnan sat at her desk, restless, trying to focus on the report in front of her.
Next quarter…
The image of Xia Chun holding Shen Shu, Shen Shu’s eyes closed against her shoulder, kept flashing through her mind.
It had been a simple hug, a common scene in dramas.
But it bothered Xu Jinnan, like a splinter under her skin.
Suddenly, a thought struck her – the “X” tattoo.
Shen Shu and Xia Chun had dated for over two years. Could the tattoo be… Xia Chun’s initial?
It was possible.
But the thought made her feel strangely uncomfortable, even a little… jealous.
She tapped her fingers against her forehead, then her cheek, then rested her elbow on the desk, then, unable to sit still any longer, stood up and paced around the room, her hand gripping the back of her chair.
Looking at the chair, she was reminded of Shen Shu sitting there earlier.
She felt a sudden warmth spreading through her.
Just then, Viola knocked and entered, carrying a report on the latest developments in the North District project. She saw Xu Jinnan turn away from the window, her expression unreadable.
“This is from Tong Jia,” Xu Jinnan said, gesturing towards the cake on her desk.
Viola paused, then picked up the cake, smiling politely. “Certainly. If there’s nothing else, I’ll leave you to your work.”
As she reached the door, Xu Jinnan called out to her. “Can you get me something from the store?”
“Of course, CEO Xu.”
—
That afternoon, Shen Shu washed her hands in the restroom.
Xu Jinnan’s office building was well-maintained, the space spacious and brightly lit, even the restrooms. As she dried her hands, she felt a sudden unease, as if she was being watched.
She turned around, scanning the room, just as Tong Jia emerged from a stall. “What’s wrong? What are you looking at?”
Shen Shu took a deep breath. “Nothing,” she replied after a moment.
Perhaps she was just being paranoid.
As they walked towards the filming area, passing through the office space, Tong Jia paused, glancing back.
Shen Shu followed her gaze.
Xu Jinnan and Viola were standing by a desk near the pantry, looking at a document. Xu Jinnan’s back was turned, but Viola’s face was lit up by a bright, professional smile.
They both looked capable and efficient, their presence strangely harmonious.
“Viola seems decent enough, but we should still be vigilant,” Tong Jia said, her voice low. “She looks like the type who’s into powerful Alphas.”
Shen Shu: “…”
It sounded like something Cai Ying would say. Perhaps Xu Jinnan was right; Tong Jia and Cai Ying’s combined influence was a dangerous combination.
“Let’s go,” Shen Shu said.
Just then, Viola looked up, and Tong Jia, her expression instantly turning professional, as if she hadn’t just been gossiping about her, waved cheerfully.
Viola smiled and said something to Xu Jinnan, likely about Shen Shu and Tong Jia’s presence.
Then, Xu Jinnan turned around, but their eyes didn’t meet, blocked by a passing employee.
Shen Shu and Tong Jia returned to their resting area.
Shen Shu was holding a clear water bottle with a red lid, the water inside lukewarm. Seeing her finish most of it, Tong Jia said, “Is it cold? I’ll get you some hot water.”
Each floor had a pantry area, divided into two sections, one for the film crew, the other for Xu Jinnan’s company.
“No, I’ll make some lemon water. I need to walk around a bit,” Shen Shu replied, shaking her head. Filming a workplace drama meant spending most of the day in the same location, with little opportunity to move around.
Her feet were aching after a full day in heels.
She took a small container of lemon slices and her water bottle and went to the pantry.
Several other actors were waiting in line, surprised to see her there, as they had been instructed to use their designated pantry.
But wasn’t this her wife’s company? Why was she getting water here? Puzzled, they offered to let her go first.
Shen Shu politely declined, saying she wasn’t in a hurry.
Suddenly, a hand grasped her wrist, and she instinctively tried to pull away, but was gently turned around.
She found herself facing Xu Jinnan, her almond-shaped eyes warm and gentle.
“What are you doing here?” Xu Jinnan asked, her voice low.
The others in the pantry gasped, intimidated by her presence. They usually only saw her from a distance, and now, up close, her aura of authority was overwhelming.
But her gaze was fixed solely on Shen Shu, the coldness in her eyes melting away.
Shen Shu, relieved, said softly, “Getting some water.”
Xu Jinnan pulled her towards the adjacent pantry, which was empty.
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