Chapter 43
“Nan-jie, Yin Xue attempted suicide. Did you know?”
Xu Jinnan frowned. “Is she dead, or was it just an attempt?”
“Just an attempt, just an attempt,” Chen Bo replied quickly. “She’s in the hospital. It happened last night. She’s an orphan, no family, and since I sent her some things recently, the police called me, worried about her mental state… Do you want to visit her?”
His eagerness for her to visit was obvious. “It’s just that my presence won’t help. She listens to you. If you go, she’ll probably jump out of bed,” he added.
Xu Jinnan didn’t find it funny. Yin Xue’s suicide attempt was shocking, yet not entirely unexpected.
His comment about her being an orphan made her feel a pang of sympathy. People like Yin Xue and the original Xu Jinnan had likely all endured unimaginable hardships.
—
Upstairs, Xu Jinnan sat on the balcony, lost in thought.
Shen Shu emerged from the bathroom, glanced at her, then returned to the bedroom. A few minutes later, she came back out onto the balcony and sat down beside Xu Jinnan.
“She’s quite pitiful,” Shen Shu commented.
“Yes, she is,” Xu Jinnan replied. And hateful.
Yin Xue’s actions were unforgivable.
“Are you going to visit her?” Shen Shu asked.
“No,” Xu Jinnan said.
Chen Bo had sent a message, explaining that Yin Xue had used a worn-down toothbrush to cut her wrists, found in the bathroom in the middle of the night. She had been found in time and was out of danger. But if Xu Jinnan visited her, she had a feeling it would only lead to more drama.
While hateful, Yin Xue was still a human being.
And Xu Jinnan wasn’t heartless. She felt a flicker of sympathy.
—
Xu Jinnan had forgotten to turn off her phone’s ringer.
Just before dawn, a call from an unknown number woke her. She hung up, then answered the second time.
“Hello, is this Xu Jinnan?”
“Who’s this?”
“I’m a police officer from the Rongcheng Special Ward…”
Xu Jinnan rubbed her temples, sitting up in bed. “Which hospital?”
As she was getting ready to leave, Shen Shu emerged from the bedroom.
“I have to go to Rongcheng. Yin Xue woke up and is threatening to jump from the hospital roof. She wants to see me,” Xu Jinnan explained.
Shen Shu paused. “I’ll go with you.”
“Don’t you have a meeting with a director this afternoon?”
Shen Shu went back into the bedroom and returned a minute later, dressed in a simple sundress. “Let’s go.”
In the elevator, Xu Jinnan said Shen Shu didn’t have to come. It was a long drive, over two hours round trip, and she had a meeting later. It was a waste of time.
Shen Shu glanced at Xu Jinnan’s reflection in the mirrored elevator doors. She was looking at Shen Shu. “Zhou Pei isn’t here. I can help if anything happens,” she replied calmly.
“Oh.” Xu Jinnan smiled. “So you’re worried about me.” She turned to Shen Shu, their eyes meeting in the mirror.
Shen Shu’s eyelashes fluttered slightly, but she didn’t look away. “Mutual support, remember?”
“Whatever Miss Shen says,” Xu Jinnan replied, a hint of amusement in her voice.
The lighthearted moment was fleeting.
The closer they got to Rongcheng, the quieter the car became. The police officer called twice to check their location.
The situation was clearly urgent.
—
At the Rongcheng First People’s Hospital, they were taken to the stairwell leading to the roof, where a police officer explained the situation.
Yin Xue had been standing on the edge of the roof for over forty minutes, her legs dangling precariously over the edge. She was highly agitated, and after two failed attempts, the firefighters were afraid to approach her.
After confirming their relationship with Yin Xue, the officer said, “She only wants to see you. Anyone else approaching will only agitate her further. We need you to distract her so our firefighters can rescue her.”
Xu Jinnan nodded, leaving Shen Shu in the stairwell with instructions to prioritize her own safety. Then, she opened the door to the rooftop.
Three police officers, two of them female Betas, were already there, trying to calm Yin Xue down, but she was unresponsive, repeating only one phrase – “I want to see Xu Jinnan.”
Seeing Xu Jinnan, Yin Xue’s legs stopped swinging, but she continued tapping her heels against the wall, the rhythmic sound echoing in the silence.
She didn’t speak, simply smiling at Xu Jinnan as she approached, stopping about three meters away.
In less than two weeks, Yin Xue had become almost unrecognizable – gaunt and pale, her face and neck covered in scratches, her lips bloodless.
“Nannan, long time no see. Did you miss me?” she asked, her voice weak, her hand gripping the wall for support. “I missed you so much.”
Xu Jinnan watched as Yin Xue swayed precariously on the edge of the roof, her body moving with her restless legs, the threat of falling ever-present.
Yin Xue was sharp and kept glancing down, making it difficult for the firefighters below to find an opportunity to approach. The priority was to get her off the ledge.
Xu Jinnan softened her voice. “Really?”
Yin Xue, perhaps starved for such gentleness, nodded, her eyes gleaming with tears. “Really. So much. So much that I’m going crazy… You don’t know how awful it is in there, just like that time…”
“That time?” Xu Jinnan took a step closer, drawing Yin Xue’s attention.
“Don’t you remember? All the things I told you? You’ve forgotten everything now that you have that bitch. You don’t love me anymore… I know you don’t, Xu Jinnan! Why?! Why are you doing this to me?!”
Her initial calmness shattered, replaced by a sudden outburst of anger.
Her voice was shrill, her eyes filled with hatred. She pressed her hand against the wall, the blood almost soaking through the bandages on her wrist. She straightened up, her anger escalating. “Xu Jinnan, tell me! What do you see in her?! I did so much for you! I ruined myself! I staked my entire life on you… I’m not even afraid of death, just to see you!”
She seemed about to stand up.
“Yin Xue!” Xu Jinnan exclaimed.
Hearing her voice, Yin Xue stopped, her eyes red and teary. “Nannan, come back to me. I can forget everything. I can pretend Shen Shu doesn’t exist. I don’t even care that you’re married. Just come back to me. Don’t leave me, please.”
“Come down first. We can talk,” Xu Jinnan said, her heart pounding as Yin Xue swayed on the ledge. “Just come down, and we’ll talk.”
“Nannan, how long has it been since you visited Little Crescent Moon?” Yin Xue asked, her voice breaking, as if she hadn’t heard Xu Jinnan’s words.
Xu Jinnan froze. She had never heard that name before.
Yin Xue stared at her intently, her earlier agitation replaced by a strange calmness. “Come closer,” she said softly. “Come and get me… and I’ll come down.”
She reached out her hand.
Xu Jinnan calculated the distance, then took a step forward.
“Wait!” a police officer called out from behind her.
Before Xu Jinnan could respond, Yin Xue yelled, “Get away! All of you, get away!”
She was easily provoked.
—
Shen Shu, watching from the stairwell on a small monitor held by an officer, saw Xu Jinnan’s back and heard their conversation.
As Xu Jinnan approached Yin Xue, Shen Shu’s heart tightened, her brow furrowed.
Xu Jinnan reached out, her hand closing around Yin Xue’s. She could easily pull her back now.
Yin Xue, like an obedient child, waited patiently, a childlike smile appearing on her face as Xu Jinnan grasped her hand.
A wave of unease washed over Xu Jinnan, but she didn’t have time to think, pulling Yin Xue back forcefully.
Yin Xue didn’t resist, allowing herself to be pulled back, but just before they reached safety, she pressed her wrist against Xu Jinnan’s nose.
It was only for a second, but the police officers immediately pulled them apart.
Xu Jinnan felt as if she had inhaled something, a strange sensation coursing through her veins, a feeling she recognized.
But it quickly faded.
Just then, Shen Shu and the other officers rushed onto the rooftop.
“Xu Jinnan!” she exclaimed, running towards her.
Yin Xue, held by two officers, her legs weak, looked up at Xu Jinnan, then at Shen Shu’s worried expression, and burst into laughter.
“You don’t care about anything anymore, do you? I’m just a joke to you! Everything I did was a joke! You think you can just get rid of me?! Dream on! I won’t let you go, Xu Jinnan! I’ll haunt you for the rest of your life… Just you wait! Lock me up forever if you can… Otherwise, I’ll make you regret this!”
–
After giving a brief statement to the police, Xu Jinnan and Shen Shu left the hospital.
Xu Jinnan felt uneasy. Yin Xue’s erratic behavior and sudden mood swings seemed deliberate, and her own mind felt strangely clouded.
Once in the car, Shen Shu, who was driving, asked, “Are you alright?”
Xu Jinnan was about to nod when a sharp ringing filled her ears, a searing pain shooting through her nerves, as if someone was prying her skull open with tweezers. Her face paled, and she clutched her head, leaning against the dashboard.
“What’s wrong?” Shen Shu asked, unbuckling her seatbelt and leaning over to support her.
The ringing drowned out Shen Shu’s voice, her head throbbing, a splitting pain that made her body tremble. She bit her lip, then cried out, unable to contain the pain.
A mournful sound.
Images flashed through her mind – the sting of a whip, the sensation of drowning, the suffocating loneliness of an empty room, the fear and panic…
She instinctively curled up, recoiling from Shen Shu’s touch.
“Xu Jinnan, Xu Jinnan…”
Xu Jinnan pushed her away, then felt herself enveloped in a warm embrace, Shen Shu holding her tightly, refusing to let go, despite her struggles.
She smelled the familiar sweet fragrance, a comforting scent.
Shen Shu felt Xu Jinnan’s arms tighten around her, the grip painful. She gently patted Xu Jinnan’s back. “It’s okay,” she whispered. “Xu Jinnan, it’s okay. I’m here.”
Xu Jinnan quickly lost consciousness, her head resting on Shen Shu’s shoulder, her cold cheek and soft hair brushing against Shen Shu’s neck.
Shen Shu’s breath hitched, but she continued to hold Xu Jinnan, her touch gentle and reassuring.
–
After a while, hospital staff arrived.
Because of Xu Jinnan’s unique situation as a disguised Omega, Shen Shu had called Professor Qin, who had sent one of his students, Dr. Fang.
Xu Jinnan’s vitals were abnormal, indicating signs of poisoning.
“The toxin contains a stimulant, similar to a Class D drug, but much more potent. Fortunately, the dosage was small, and you called in time…”
“Would it have been life-threatening if we hadn’t?” Shen Shu asked.
“Not necessarily, but it could have caused neurological damage, severe headaches, and even psychosis,” Dr. Fang replied.
In simpler terms, she could have gone insane.
Shen Shu’s hands and feet turned cold as she looked at Xu Jinnan, a wave of fear washing over her.
–
Xu Jinnan saw a white wall decorated with cartoon hearts, a small pink bed, and a pink desk with a four-year-old girl, her hair in pigtails, sitting at it, drawing with crayons.
The door opened, and Yin Xue entered.
The little girl looked up. “Mama Yin Xue, look what I drew! Our family!”
Yin Xue, her nails painted red, took the drawing and handed it to someone behind her – the original Xu Jinnan.
The original Xu Jinnan glanced at the drawing, her expression indifferent. “Don’t draw pictures of three people! And don’t call me Mama. I’m not your mother.”
“What are you doing?” Yin Xue asked, going over to the little girl and gently stroking her cheek. “It’s a beautiful drawing, Little Crescent Moon. I love it. I’ll bring you candy next time, okay?”
After the original Xu Jinnan left, Yin Xue followed her, and they argued.
“You said you wanted a child! That’s why I had her! Why are you being so cruel? I had her for you!”
“You know how that child was conceived. Aren’t you disgusted?” the original Xu Jinnan said coldly.
Yin Xue stopped her. “I paid such a heavy price for you, and you call it disgusting? I’m an Alpha! I underwent a dangerous sex-change operation for you, from an Alpha to a fragile Omega, and you call it disgusting?! Xu Jinnan, do you even have a heart?!”
“When have I ever had a heart? I never said I liked Omegas. You were the one who jumped to conclusions. You did it willingly. It has nothing to do with me… But I do enjoy having you beneath me.”
The original Xu Jinnan’s gaze softened as she looked at Yin Xue’s tear-filled eyes. She cupped her face in her hands. “You only called me here because you’re afraid I’ll forget you now that I’m marrying Shen Shu. Don’t worry, even after I’m married, we can still be together. But if you keep acting up and doing these useless things… it’s not very endearing. Understand?”
–
Yin Xue stormed out, leaving the original Xu Jinnan standing at the doorway. After a moment, she opened the door to the pink bedroom and sat down on the bed.
Little Crescent Moon was crying. “I’m sorry! I won’t draw anymore! Please don’t fight! It’s my fault! Are you not coming to see me anymore? I’m sorry!”
The original Xu Jinnan looked at her for a moment, then took a tissue and roughly wiped her face, her movements awkward and clumsy.
She paused as she saw the red marks on the little girl’s face, then tossed the tissue aside, her voice sharp. “Stop crying!”
Little Crescent Moon, startled, retreated to her desk, her face red and blotchy, her breathing uneven.
The original Xu Jinnan’s expression softened slightly. “Yin Xue is your mother. I’m not. Don’t draw family portraits anymore. You can call me Auntie, but not Mama. Understand?”
Little Crescent Moon nodded. “Auntie Nannan, please don’t be angry. I… I understand.”
The original Xu Jinnan smiled faintly, satisfied, and handed her another tissue. Little Crescent Moon looked at her hesitantly.
“Your face is covered in snot. Disgusting. Wipe it,” she said impatiently.
Little Crescent Moon took the tissue.
The original Xu Jinnan picked up the drawing – two adults on either side, a child in the middle, the bright colors of the crayons cheerful and sunny.
Her smile vanished, and she ripped the drawing in half, her voice cold. “Mothers are the most terrifying creatures in the world. They have fangs. They’re man-eating demons who will devour your flesh and blood… Do you know what’s even more terrifying than a mother?”
Little Crescent Moon shook her head fearfully.
“Her partner. Like… the two people you drew.”
She held up the separate drawings of the two adults.
—
Shen Shu’s hand, resting on Xu Jinnan’s, trembled. She looked at Xu Jinnan, whose brow was furrowed in her sleep, her expression troubled.
She thought, Perhaps Xu Jinnan’s past was even worse than I imagined.
Someone so kind didn’t deserve to suffer so much.
She gently stroked Xu Jinnan’s forehead, her touch unconsciously tender.
Xu Jinnan’s skin was smooth and soft, like a baby’s, the wrinkles on her brow smoothing out under Shen Shu’s touch.
Just as she was about to pull her hand away, Xu Jinnan grabbed her wrist.
—
Xu Jinnan opened her eyes, bloodshot and blurry, and stared at Shen Shu for a moment, disoriented, then realized she was holding Shen Shu’s wrist. She quickly let go.
Shen Shu didn’t react, simply asking if she was feeling unwell.
“My head hurts. What happened?” Xu Jinnan asked.
Shen Shu explained what had happened, then said, “The police think it was something on Yin Xue’s bandages.”
“Think?” Xu Jinnan tried to sit up, but the IV in her arm restricted her movements. “I did feel something,” she said, remembering the strange sensation, so brief and subtle that she hadn’t paid attention to it at the time.
“They couldn’t find the bandages, and there were no traces of drugs on her hands. No evidence, so they can only speculate,” Shen Shu explained concisely.
Xu Jinnan immediately grasped the key point. “Someone helped her.”
“Yes, and the surveillance cameras didn’t capture anything. It was well planned,” Shen Shu confirmed.
Yin Xue had been determined to break Xu Jinnan.
Love turned to hate.
It was a terrifying thing, and Yin Xue had reached her breaking point.
Xu Jinnan didn’t speak. She had sensed someone pulling the strings behind Yin Xue’s actions, from her first hospital visit, to the Emperor Hotel incident, to the banquet, and now this.
This person was clever, covering their tracks meticulously.
Seeing Xu Jinnan lost in thought, Shen Shu went to find Professor Qin.
He entered the room alone, holding a chart, glancing at the doorway before lowering his voice. “Miss Xu, this was very dangerous. Your Alpha levels are spiking. Your rut is coming soon. You know that, right? Fortunately, it didn’t trigger a full-blown episode, or your secret would be out.”
Xu Jinnan touched her scent gland. “It has been feeling strange lately.”
To be precise, the tingling sensation wasn’t as intense as before, and sometimes, it was even pleasant.
A painful pleasure?
“Your pheromone compatibility is very high. You can both attract and soothe each other. It’s normal. The pain you’re feeling, besides the stimulation of your scent gland, might also be related to your secondary differentiation,” Professor Qin explained, conducting a few more tests.
The drug Yin Xue had used hadn’t caused any permanent damage, but there would be some lingering side effects, such as fatigue, drowsiness, tremors, and a weakened immune system.
“Be careful about the weakened immune system. Your rut is approaching. Make sure you have your suppressants with you,” he warned.
Just then, Shen Shu entered with a bowl of porridge and some side dishes.
She placed them on the table and, after confirming Xu Jinnan was stable, said, “Thank you for coming all this way.”
“It’s my duty,” Professor Qin replied, waving his hand dismissively.
Shen Shu glanced at the chart in his hand. “Can I see that?”
He handed it to her, exchanging a brief look with Xu Jinnan, who sighed inwardly. She had been hesitant ever since seeing the therapy appointment slip in Shen Shu’s drawer.
She had already seen the chart. Professor Qin, remembering her instructions, had written “Omega” for her gender, so Shen Shu wouldn’t suspect anything.
Shen Shu quickly scanned the chart, her gaze lingering on the word “Omega,” then handed it back.
“Um… Miss Shen, I’m a little embarrassed to ask, but could you sign this for me?” Professor Qin said. “My niece is a big fan of yours.”
Shen Shu smiled. “Of course. Give my regards to your niece.” After signing the autograph, she added, “This is my first time signing an autograph.”
—
After Professor Qin left, Xu Jinnan looked at Shen Shu, who, despite her usual calm demeanor, seemed genuinely happy.
Xu Jinnan smiled, then her smile faded as she remembered something.
She hadn’t expected Yin Xue to be a transgender Omega.
And… that child, Little Crescent Moon.
Her head started to throb, and she looked at Shen Shu, a hint of apprehension in her voice.
“There’s something I need to tell you,” she said.
Shen Shu opened the container of porridge. “What is it?”
“I might have a child,” Xu Jinnan blurted out.
Shen Shu: “…”
Xu Jinnan rubbed her forehead. “I mean, Yin Xue and I have a… No, Yin Xue has a child,” she corrected herself, finally finding the right words.
It hadn’t been a dream, just like the memories from the Xu residence. It was a fragment of the original Xu Jinnan’s past.
A vivid, visceral memory.
She told Shen Shu everything, then, seeing her reaction, quickly added, “It’s not my child.” The child was four or five years old. Back then, the original Xu Jinnan had been a dysfunctional Omega, incapable of conceiving.
“I know,” Shen Shu replied. “Dysfunctional Omegas can’t have children.”
Xu Jinnan: “…” While it was true, it sounded like an accusation.
Shen Shu, realizing her words might have been misconstrued, softened her tone and opened the containers of side dishes. “And Yin Xue couldn’t have given birth either,” she added.
Xu Jinnan paused, realizing the same thing.
A transgender Omega couldn’t have biological children.
If the child was truly Yin Xue’s, there were only two possibilities – she had conceived before her transition, or she had used a surrogate…
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