Chapter 41
That seemingly casual sentence encompassed four years of struggling with illness.
Jiang Siyi leaned her head lightly against Shen Shiwu’s shoulder, like a delicate flower bending in the wind and rain.
Raindrops fell haphazardly, pitter-pattering against the ground.
Shen Shiwu shielded her from the rain and quickly led her into the car. A few minutes later, they were both sitting in the back seat, the atmosphere quiet.
Jiang Siyi, seeing that Shen Shiwu’s hair was slightly damp, while she herself was relatively dry, said, uncharacteristically taking the initiative, “Should we go back to the hotel? Let’s not wander around anymore.”
Summer weather was always unpredictable, the scorching sun replaced by a sudden downpour.
Shen Shiwu didn’t answer, just looked at her, as if trying to make up for the four years they had been apart.
After a while, her voice, accompanied by the sound of rain against the car window, softly broke the silence. “Did you bring your medication?”
What kind of illness? And what caused it?
Jiang Siyi had thought Shen Shiwu would ask these questions first.
She nodded. “Yes.”
Shen Shiwu stared at her pale face, her heart aching. She held Jiang Siyi’s wrist and gently rubbed it. “Are you still feeling unwell?”
“No, it’s always like this, it’ll pass soon.” Jiang Siyi seemed indifferent, as if she was used to it.
She turned to look out the window, the rain intensifying. The hurried footsteps and the grumbling of passersby created a discordant symphony.
It was almost comical. She smiled faintly, a bitter smile.
They sat in silence in the car for half an hour, the rain gradually subsiding. Finally, Shen Shiwu broke the silence. “Xiao Si, let me take care of you again, okay?”
Jiang Siyi looked at her, wanting to say something, but hesitated.
Finally, she lowered her head, her voice hoarse. “Let’s go eat, I’m a little hungry.”
It was the familiar Thai food, a different restaurant, but the taste was similar.
Jiang Siyi felt she couldn’t be with Shen Shiwu.
Because the other woman was also a part of her past, and just a glance at her brought back all the memories, the shadows threatening to return and darken the sky again.
Her illness would never truly heal.
“How’s the food?” Shen Shiwu asked, placing a bowl of peeled shrimp in front of her.
Jiang Siyi was indeed hungry. After swallowing her food, she replied, “It’s okay.”
The familiar answer made Shen Shiwu smile. She shook her head, wondering what kind of food would actually impress this girl.
“The book signing starts at two, right?” She wiped her hands and glanced at the time. “No rush, take your time.”
She gestured for the waiter to bring them two glasses of hot water. “Don’t forget to take your medication after your meal.”
One shouldn’t stop taking psychiatric medication without consulting their doctor.
But Jiang Siyi was disobedient. At first, she would forget to take them, then remember and take them later. Then she simply stopped taking them altogether, only taking them when her anxiety was severe, when she felt like she was suffocating.
No one was there to supervise her anyway.
Jiang Siyi poked at her food and nodded slightly, acknowledging Shen Shiwu’s words.
The next moment, she saw a hand reach out, and looking up, she met Shen Shiwu’s gaze. “Take out your medication, let me see the dosage.”
Seeing that she wasn’t moving, the woman tapped the table. “Not even letting me see it?”
Jiang Siyi held her chopsticks, then, after a few seconds, she turned and opened her bag. It was filled with things, a portable charger, tissues, and after rummaging through it, she finally took out two boxes of medication.
Shen Shiwu raised an eyebrow, took the boxes, and carefully examined the labels.
After a long moment, she called out, “Jiang Siyi.”
The rabbit, mid-meal, paused, but didn’t look up.
“Twice a day, two pills each time, after meals.” Shen Shiwu tapped the box lightly. “Why didn’t I see you take them this morning?”
Jiang Siyi had anticipated this question and was prepared to lie. She swallowed her food and said casually, “I forgot.”
Seeing that Shen Shiwu didn’t say anything, she added, “You know I have a bad memory.”
“Fine,” the woman took out a blister pack of pills and held it up. “I’ll supervise you from now on.”
A certain rabbit, who hated taking medication, groaned inwardly. She took out her frustration on the food, eating two bowls of rice, and the consequence was—the button on her fitted dress popped open.
The rabbit froze.
Shen Shiwu, thinking she was angry again, was about to say that she had to take her medication when she saw the girl’s face slowly turning red.
She was puzzled, and before she could ask, Jiang Siyi quickly said, “I’m going to the restroom.”
She rushed off, glancing back as if afraid Shen Shiwu would follow her.
Like someone running away from a debt collector.
The woman stared at her retreating figure for a moment, then, as Jiang Siyi entered the restroom, she calmly followed.
The restaurant was expensive and had few customers. The restroom was empty, only Jiang Siyi silently panicking in front of the mirror.
She looked down at the exposed skin around her waist and wanted to die.
Footsteps approached, and Jiang Siyi’s heart skipped a beat. She quickly ducked into a stall.
Just as she locked the door, Shen Shiwu’s voice rang out, “Where are you?”
Jiang Siyi was silent for a second, then mumbled, “Do you have to follow me even to the bathroom?”
“Oh, I thought you were meeting someone.”
“…”
“Is your stomach upset?” Shen Shiwu washed her hands, drying them as she walked towards the stall. “Do you want me to rub it for you?”
Jiang Siyi said coldly, “Get out.”
Shen Shiwu chuckled. Seeing that the girl refused to come out, she left, saying, “I’ll wait for you outside.”
Silence returned to the restroom.
Jiang Siyi cautiously peeked out of the stall, like a thief. Seeing that no one was outside, she went back to the mirror, her face creased with worry—What do I do if the button on my dress popped open in front of my ex?
And it just had to be around my waist.
She argued with herself inwardly, then looked at the window.
Should I just run?
It was the first floor, so she wouldn’t die from falling. Besides, she was a skilled climber, having scaled walls and fences countless times in the past.
Jiang Siyi was decisive. She glanced outside, saw that Shen Shiwu wasn’t waiting by the door, and quietly approached the window.
She was a bit of a germaphobe, so she placed two tissues on the windowsill before touching it.
Almost there. She took a deep breath and, with practiced ease, climbed onto the windowsill.
Clang—
The window opened automatically.
Jiang Siyi thought this place was quite fancy, worthy of its expensive prices, saving her the effort of opening the window. But before she could even feel smug, a voice made her freeze.
“Jiang Siyi, you’re quite skilled.”
The rain hadn’t stopped, and the wind blew in, ruffling the woman’s hair.
Shen Shiwu was standing outside, holding an umbrella, her hand steady despite the weather, her expression calm.
Her words, carried by the wind and rain, were cold, and Jiang Siyi slowly put one foot back down.
The woman outside glanced at her movement and continued her praise. “Even climbing windows in a dress, just as impressive as before.”
Jiang Siyi put her other foot down.
Back on solid ground, she pretended nothing had happened and touched her nose. “What are you doing standing outside? It’s raining so heavily, aren’t you cold?”
Shen Shiwu’s tone was meaningful. “Waiting for my rabbit.”
The woman stood in the rain, the downpour intensifying. Jiang Siyi, hearing her words, wanted to defend herself, or rather, lie. “I just felt stuffy inside, I wanted to open the window for some fresh air.”
“Mm-hmm, of course. Other people open windows with their hands, you use your feet.”
“…”
Jiang Siyi fell silent. She discreetly covered her waist, wanting to suggest going back to the hotel, when she felt a hand on her head, reaching in through the window.
“You’re always like this,” Shen Shiwu said, her voice filled with helplessness. “No matter what happens, you never learn to talk to anyone.”
“So foolish.”
Jiang Siyi, unusually, didn’t argue back.
She let Shen Shiwu stroke her hair, and after a long while, she finally confessed, “The buttons… on my dress popped open.”
The car splashed through puddles all the way back to the hotel. There was still an hour left before the book signing.
Shen Shiwu had booked two suites, Jiang Siyi’s next to hers. Just as Jiang Siyi was about to close her door, a tall figure walked in.
Jiang Siyi stood there for a while, then decided not to kick her out.
“Can you take your medication now?” Shen Shiwu held a glass of water and two pills, offering them to her. “Open your mouth.”
Jiang Siyi had been making excuses all the way back, refusing to take her medication, but now she had no choice.
She reached for the pills, but Shen Shiwu repeated, “Open your mouth.”
As she swallowed the pills, Jiang Siyi was suddenly reminded of that time in the dormitory, when Shen Shiwu had fed her that grape-flavored candy.
“Drink some water.”
Her thoughts were interrupted as the rim of the glass touched her lips, the coolness mixing with the warmth.
She opened her mouth and was fed the entire glass of water.
Seeing her obedient demeanor, Shen Shiwu’s mood finally improved. She put down the glass and casually glanced at the girl’s waist. “Take it off.”
Those three words sent a shockwave through Jiang Siyi.
She almost took three steps back, her arms crossed defensively.
“You, you can forget about it.”
Hearing this, Shen Shiwu chuckled and walked towards her. Jiang Siyi, shielding her waist, quickly dodged, until her back hit the wall. “Don’t come any closer!”
Shen Shiwu, of course, ignored her.
Trapped, with nowhere to retreat, Jiang Siyi could only close her eyes, waiting for the inevitable. But Shen Shiwu, stopping in front of her, only touched her cheek, her voice soft and helpless. “What are you thinking about?”
Jiang Siyi’s eyelashes fluttered.
She opened her eyes, her face burning. “Your words were too ambiguous.”
“Okay, my fault.” Shen Shiwu resisted the urge to kiss her and asked, “Do you want to wear my clothes?”
“…No.”
“Why?”
Seeing that Shen Shiwu was about to start her relentless questioning again, Jiang Siyi came up with a convincing excuse. “They won’t fit, you’re taller than me.”
“Don’t worry,” the woman looked at her intently, “they’ll fit perfectly.”
When Jiang Siyi saw the red dress in Shen Shiwu’s hand, she finally understood.
How could her own clothes not fit?
“How did this become your dress?” Jiang Siyi stared at the red fabric, the memory of their entangled breaths that night flooding back.
“Give it back.” Her face flushed.
Shen Shiwu played with the silk dress, her voice calm and unhurried. “Beg me.”
“Beg me, and I’ll give it back.”
Clothes or pride, which was more important?
Definitely the latter.
Jiang Siyi scoffed and turned to leave, opening the door. “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”
A few minutes later, Shen Shiwu was kicked out of the room.
She looked at the closed door and chuckled softly.
Finally, she shook her head helplessly. “So fierce.”
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