Chapter 32
Jiang An’s parents had a marriage of convenience.
Until her death, she hadn’t received a shred of love from her family.
That night, Shen Yun dreamt of her old friend.
She had always complained that Jiang An never visited her in her dreams, but now she finally did.
She looked the same as in her memory, only much paler, her limbs stiff. She seemed distraught, repeating, “Same-sex… same-sex again, why, why!?”
Shen Yun woke up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat, her heart pounding.
After a while, she went to wash her face, the cold water mixing with her sweat.
She murmured to herself in the mirror, “No… I have to separate them.”
***
Perhaps it was the rain and the thunder, but Jiang Siyi didn’t sleep well. She stared at the ceiling for a while, then got out of bed.
The housekeeper was busy in the kitchen.
Seeing Jiang Siyi come downstairs, she wiped her hands with her apron. “Miss Jiang, breakfast will be ready in five minutes.”
Jiang Siyi went to the fridge for a bottle of iced water, took a few sips, and then said, “Take your time, I don’t have much of an appetite today.”
A few minutes later, she heard footsteps coming from the stairs. She thought it was Shen Shiwu, but it was Shen Yun slowly making her way down. Perhaps because she wasn’t wearing a face mask, her complexion seemed a little pale.
“Good morning, Auntie Shen.”
Shen Yun smiled faintly. “Good morning.”
When Shen Shiwu also came downstairs, the three of them sat at the dining table for breakfast. The atmosphere was quieter than usual, but otherwise, everything seemed normal.
“I have a contract to discuss at Yu An Mansion this afternoon. I’ll be back after that.” She glanced at Jiang Siyi, who was drinking her milk.
Jiang Siyi wiped her mouth with a napkin, indicating she had heard.
Shen Yun, eating her toast, asked casually, “Around what time?”
“Two o’clock.”
She nodded. After Shen Shiwu left, she discreetly took out her phone and sent the time and location to Yang Yu.
Her expression was complex, as if she couldn’t bring herself to say the words. Finally, her voice slightly unsteady, she said to Jiang Siyi, “Xiao Si, Auntie will take you out for a while, okay?”
The girl obediently replied, “Okay.”
It was the busiest shopping mall in the west of the city, a popular spot for young couples.
Jiang Siyi remembered that Shen Shiwu had brought her here to buy clothes a long time ago, and a smile appeared on her lips.
It was also close to Yu An Mansion.
Shen Yun, holding the girl’s arm as they walked, said casually, “After we’re done shopping, we can go find Shiwu.”
Jiang Siyi’s eyes lit up, and she nodded eagerly. “Okay.”
She now had a deeper understanding of what it meant to spend money like water. Loaded with shopping bags, she was dragged into another luxury store and couldn’t help but say, “Auntie, haven’t we bought enough?”
“Not at all, these are for you to wear and use when you go to university.” Shen Yun waved her hand dismissively, continuing to browse. “This coat looks nice on you, and…”
At this moment, Jiang Siyi didn’t understand the implications of those words.
She felt a warmth spread through her heart, even holding the shopping bags with more enthusiasm.
After shopping, they went to a restaurant.
“Xiao Yu likes Western food. I used to bring her to this restaurant all the time,” Shen Yun said, taking a bite of steak. “I wonder if Xiao Si likes it too.”
Jiang Siyi’s hand paused.
She forced a smile and said truthfully, “I’m not really used to it.”
Shen Yun said slowly, her tone meaningful, “That’s normal, different tastes. Actually, I don’t really like this kind of food either.”
“But Shiwu, like Xiao Yu, enjoys it.”
The change in topic was abrupt, but her expression remained unchanged.
Jiang Siyi was stunned, then thought she was overthinking and forced a smile. “Well, different strokes for different folks.”
After the not-so-pleasant meal, they continued browsing for a while, killing time.
It was three o’clock in the afternoon.
They got into the car and arrived at Yu An Mansion ten minutes later.
Everyone here looked wealthy, even their pets seemed to live a better life than ordinary people.
Jiang Siyi was glad she had dressed maturely today. She carefully walked in her heeled shoes, afraid of making a mistake.
“Hello, ladies, would you mind waiting in the VIP lounge for a moment?” Even the waiter exuded elegance, her hair neatly tucked behind her ears.
Shen Yun nodded gracefully and then added, “Don’t tell Shiwu we’re here, let her continue with her work.”
The waiter didn’t dare to disobey and left.
After a while, Shen Yun finally looked up from her phone. She suddenly said, “I need to use the restroom, Xiao Si, come with me.”
The hallway was covered in a long velvet carpet that seemed to stretch endlessly. Jiang Siyi waited, bored.
She looked at the paintings on the wall to kill time when she heard the door of a meeting room open.
Drawn by curiosity, she quietly approached.
A waiter came out, holding a large bottle of wine, struggling to close the door with one hand. Afraid of dropping the bottle, her movements were careful and slow.
As the dark wooden door closed, Jiang Siyi’s eyes widened, and she froze—
Shen Shiwu was sitting inside.
And beside her was Yang Yu.
Why was Yang Yu there for a business meeting?
Because she was capable, of course.
But… but…
Jiang Siyi’s mind was in turmoil.
Her legs gave way, and she collapsed onto the carpet.
The carpet was soft, and her knees didn’t hurt, but she felt like her heart was bleeding. Shen Shiwu, why do you always do this?
The soundproofing in the meeting room was excellent, and no sound escaped once the door was closed. Jiang Siyi, supporting herself against the wall, stood up. Seeing a waiter approaching, she quickly retreated and hid in the restroom.
Shen Yun was washing her hands. Seeing her rush in, her expression panicked, she understood.
But she still asked, “Xiao Si, what’s wrong?”
Jiang Siyi was wearing the elegant makeup Xu Yuan had taught her for the coming-of-age ceremony. After the college entrance exam, she had practiced for a long time before finally mastering it.
Now, she felt the foundation on her face heavy and tight.
“Auntie Shen, let’s go back.”
“I’m tired and want to rest.”
Shen Yun looked at her, almost forgetting to turn off the faucet.
Her heart also ached, and after a long moment, she softly said, “Okay.”
***
The rain tonight was as heavy as that night.
The thunder roared, threatening to shatter the windows. Jiang Siyi curled up in bed, a small, trembling figure, her tears long since dried.
It was eight o’clock, and there was still no sign of Shen Shiwu downstairs.
She had said she would be back after the meeting, but it was so late now—was the contract really that difficult to negotiate?
You lied to me again.
Jiang Siyi’s chest felt tight, but she still didn’t lift her head from under the covers. Only when she was about to suffocate did she kick the blanket off the bed.
The blanket fell to the floor with a thud, the cold seeping into the fabric.
The rain intensified.
With every clap of thunder, Jiang Siyi broke out in a cold sweat. She covered her ears, her feet touching the cold floor, and like a dog retrieving a bone, she pulled the blanket back onto the bed.
As warmth returned to her body, Jiang Siyi thought, her body trembling,
Shen Shiwu, I’m so tired. I don’t want to like you anymore.
At eleven o’clock, the world was silent, only the soft patter of rain against the window, the annoying thunder finally ceasing its roar.
The door creaked open.
Jiang Siyi was a light sleeper, or rather, she had been half-awake the entire time, never truly falling asleep.
She knew it was Shen Shiwu.
As expected, the familiar scent filled the air, but it was also unfamiliar, tinged with the smell of alcohol.
The woman was carefully tucking her in.
Jiang Siyi was truly exhausted, so she didn’t move, pretending to be fast asleep. Perhaps sensing her tense body, Shen Shiwu called softly, “Xiao Si.”
Normally, the girl would be crying by now, but she was eerily calm, unable to shed a single tear.
She turned around, her eyes wide open. “You’re back.”
Shen Shiwu was about to speak, but was interrupted. “I’m going to sleep now, you can go.”
The woman’s figure stiffened.
“Did the thunder scare you? I’m sorry, I…”
Jiang Siyi clicked her tongue softly.
“So what if it did? It’s over now.” She turned away again, covering half her face with the blanket. “I’m going to rest. Go back to your room.”
Her dismissal was clear, and Shen Shiwu, glancing at the time, thinking it was indeed late, quietly left the room.
Just before closing the door, she lowered her voice. “I’m not going to the office tomorrow. I’ll stay home with you.”
Silence returned to the room.
Jiang Siyi hadn’t closed her eyes the entire time.
After a long while, she scoffed.
The storm and thunder were over, but when she needed comfort the most, Shen Shiwu hadn’t been there. And now, when everything was fine, she was talking about staying home with her.
Shen Shiwu, I don’t need this kind of love.
She had thought she could finally sleep well during summer break after the college entrance exam, but now it seemed she was wrong. Jiang Siyi stared at the ceiling until dawn.
Close to six o’clock, as the sky lightened slightly, she rubbed her tired eyes and reached for her phone.
The editor had sent her several messages—”Xiao Ying said your family is well-off. Are you really not considering developing your career abroad?”
“A good mentor is hard to find, I think you understand this.”
…
“Can you tell me when your college entrance exam results are released? I might be able to recommend some good universities for you.”
A few days ago, Jiang Siyi would have refused without hesitation. But now, staring at the messages, she hesitated.
After a long while, she typed, “Thank you, I’ll consider it.”
The editor, receiving this unexpected reply, seemed to see a glimmer of hope and sent her several voice messages.
Jiang Siyi tossed her phone back onto the nightstand, rubbed her neck, and got out of bed, her steps unsteady.
After washing up, she sat on the edge of her bed, staring blankly at the floor, lost in thought.
Her vision gradually cleared, and she picked up her phone again, opening Shen Yun’s chat—
“Auntie, if I choose to study abroad, will my mother’s inheritance be enough?”
Shen Yun replied after a while.
“More than enough.”
Seeing those two words, Jiang Siyi’s palms started to sweat. She couldn’t describe her feelings, but they weren’t pleasant.
She took a deep breath, exited the chat, and silently unpinned Shen Shiwu’s chat.
The apple that fell to the floor couldn’t grant wishes.
The legend of the London Eye wasn’t real either.
The countless promises were just empty words.
Thinking this, she suddenly felt relieved.
Why chase after something unattainable?
Nothing in this world truly belonged to anyone, except for their shadow.
—Living her own life was what mattered most.
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