Chapter 3: Love and Desire
The dim light cast hazy halos, blurring the boundaries of the dreamlike scene before him. It all felt like a dream… and now he seemed to be waking up.
“Xiao Yu… I like it so much… more…”
Rapid gasps suddenly jolted Su Yu awake. He stared blankly at the familiar ceiling. It wasn’t a dream, it was all real. He was still trapped in the abyss, the torrent of desire washing over his reason. His dry throat couldn’t utter a single cry for help, only enduring silently in the shadows, waiting for the inevitable collapse.
Another violent tremor, accompanied by a moan of unfulfilled desire, the morning dew covering the deep forest of night, hanging precariously on the branches.
“Unfulfilled desire only brings pain, and satisfaction leaves only emptiness.”
Su Yu looked coldly at the woman straddling him, his tone indifferent. This woman… was his girlfriend of several years, Xia Qian Ge.
When innocence is shattered, and the girl you once adored reveals her hidden side, how much of your love remains, or… do you still love her?
Compared to the physical pain, Su Yu couldn’t accept the mental blow. Why… why had she become like this? He remembered every part of her that he had cherished, but now, no matter how carefully he searched, everything had changed beyond recognition, nowhere to be found.
She was Xia Qian Ge, but not the Xia Qian Ge that Su Yu loved. Before him was only a stranger wearing the same skin.
The woman seemed not to hear Su Yu’s sarcasm. Her uncontrollable moans rose and fell. Her face was flushed, her body trembling, as if her senses were still in the clouds, seemingly unable to hear the words below.
“Then I’d rather stay like this forever, never satisfied.” The woman leaned down and gently bit Su Yu’s earlobe. “Don’t you love me? Now you’re the only cure for my illness. Could you bear to watch me suffer?”
“The Xia Qian Ge I loved is not you!”
Su Yu glared at the woman, but his head spun. The drug she had given him was taking effect. He couldn’t exert too much force, and even his thoughts were chaotic.
He could only watch helplessly as the woman dominated his body these past days, using him as a bed for her lust. Every time he saw her flushed face from the surging climaxes, Su Yu only felt disgust. The face he once found breathtakingly beautiful now only repulsed him.
“Heh… Xia Qian Ge is already dead, from the moment you broke up with me. You killed her!”
The woman lowered her long, delicate eyelashes, shadows falling, obscuring the light in her eyes. “After we broke up, I bought this apartment. We lived here for two years. This was our home. But why could you leave without hesitation?”
“I…” Su Yu’s words stopped. For a moment, he saw a trace of the former Xia Qian Ge in the woman, but his tone was still full of malice. “I don’t love you anymore, it’s that simple.”
“But you said you were getting married. That was a lie, right?”
“It has nothing to do with you.”
“Nothing to do with me?” The woman’s eyes grew colder, sharp ice shards cutting through the air. “Isn’t this all your fault? If you had never appeared in my world, how could I have become like this!”
“I hate you…” The woman’s teeth clenched tightly, making a creaking sound that tightened Su Yu’s heart. “But I also love you. I really don’t blame you, as long as you’re obedient…”
The woman’s pale hand cupped Su Yu’s cheek, gazing at him with love. The eyes that were clear and pure in Su Yu’s memory were now dim, as if a few drops of thick ink had been added to a clear pool, turning it into a swamp of desire.
“Give up. You can’t hide this forever. One day, someone will discover my disappearance, and the police will break down the door, your actions will be exposed, you’ll be despised, condemned… you’ll be locked up in a mental hospital.”
“When? Today… or tomorrow?” The woman scoffed disdainfully, licking Su Yu’s earlobe, the recently extinguished desire rekindling. “We won’t need that long. Before they find out, everything will be over. I said, we’ll be together forever.”
“Delusional, you’re truly insane…”
“It doesn’t matter if you don’t love me, as long as I love you. Love doesn’t need to be reciprocal.” The woman took Su Yu’s limp arms and wrapped them around her slender waist, making it look as if he was actively embracing her. “Actually, I’ve wanted to do this for a long time, but I was afraid of scaring you. But now I don’t have to worry so much. Maybe it’s a good thing.”
“When did it start? Why did it become like this? Things shouldn’t have ended up like this between us.”
Su Yu couldn’t help but let out a hoarse growl. He still held a sliver of hope. His cold words and disdain couldn’t stir any ripples.
He mentioned breaking up only because he loved Xia Qian Ge. He didn’t want to trap her because of himself. But now, he was imprisoned by her. Since that snowy day they parted, everything had changed.
“From the moment I fell in love with you… there was no saving me.”
The woman just smiled, a tragically beautiful smile. Her crimson lips trembled slightly. Her heart was equally turbulent. She walked to the window and suddenly pulled open the curtains.
The night sky was dotted with stars, the white moonlight cascading down like white jade. The deep night sky drew in his gaze, inviting him to fall into its depths.
It had been a long time since Su Yu had seen the sky. His yearning for fresh air was like a broken-winged falcon longing for the sky, a fish out of water craving the river. But Xia Qian Ge had imprisoned him, and herself, neither of them ever to be free.
The woman’s hand suddenly took Su Yu’s, their fingers intertwined, palms touching. At this moment, Su Yu suddenly realized how cold her palms were. Her desperate attempts to possess him seemed to be just to merge their body temperatures, to keep her from being so cold.
“Xiao Yu, Happy New Year.”
As the woman’s voice fell, the scattered lights in the night sky dimmed, replaced by more dazzling sparks. Fireworks burst open in the night sky.
Colorful fireworks unfurled, blooming to their fullest, one after another, as if they would never wither.
Su Yu turned his gaze, looking at the woman beside him, her expression focused on the fireworks, the light flickering in her eyes.
The fireworks eventually faded, scattering into ashes, drifting down with the night wind. The woman’s eyes dimmed as well, becoming as dark as the night sky.
“It’s our turn, Xiao Yu.”
The woman suddenly turned her head, her dark, fallen gaze fixed on Su Yu.
But Su Yu didn’t speak. He instinctively wanted to retreat, but his ankles were already chained, no escape route. He stared at the gleaming knife in the woman’s hand, his voice trembling, “What… what are you doing?”
“I told you, we’ll be together forever.”
The woman pressed close, smiling radiantly, eclipsing even the fireworks that had just bloomed in the sky. She was truly beautiful, so many had admired her. It was a pity… the person she loved was right in front of her, but he no longer loved her.
“What a wonderful smell… We’ll be happy.” The woman took a deep breath, her expression intoxicated, as if in the throes of ecstasy.
Su Yu also sniffed the air. He smelled gas… His pupils constricted sharply, staring at the woman.
He was wrong. The woman’s momentary tenderness had almost made him think that the old Xia Qian Ge had returned. But the person before him was still the madwoman, the one terminally ill.
“You want to die with me, to make people think I loved you?” Su Yu endured the stinging cold of the blade. “You’re truly beyond saving.”
“Yes, but that’s not enough. I will redeem your life first, Xiao Yu, and then follow you. That way… everyone will see how strong my love for you was. Everyone will envy us… and bless us.”
The woman murmured softly, as if in a trance. The dagger in her hand suddenly lunged forward, aimed at Su Yu’s heart, without hesitation.
The blade pierced through muscle and reached his heart. Perhaps it was the numbness from inhaling the gas, but the pain wasn’t as intense as Su Yu had imagined. He felt his strength ebbing away with the warm, thick blood gushing from his mouth. His body temperature dropped rapidly, his thoughts sluggish, his vision blurring, barely able to make out the woman’s face.
He slowly fell backward, the cold inching through his body, death truly close at hand.
The woman slowly pulled out the knife. She leaned down, pressing against Su Yu’s chest. Now it was her turn to give him warmth. Their bodies and minds intertwined, this was the love and desire she craved.
“Xiao Yu…”
Her consciousness was already hazy. She had inhaled a large amount of gas, hallucinogenic substances flooding her system. She was fantasizing… about the happy ending she and Su Yu should have had, the kind of happiness that made her lips curve into a smile just by thinking about it.
“I love you.”
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