Chapter 21: Missed Opportunities
A silent battle had raged for years, and today was the day of the final showdown, the day for a new beginning.
Su Yu gazed out the bus window. The wide road was now crammed with people and vehicles, leaving no space to spare. He remembered his nervousness back then. The outcome of this battle wasn’t just about his future, but also about whether he could… get closer to the girl.
Now, however, Su Yu felt only a faint sense of farewell.
“Hey, do well on the exam, okay? If you don’t… don’t come looking for me. I don’t want to see you cry.”
He Mu Qing pushed Su Yu’s shoulder, her delicate, willow-like eyebrows furrowed in mock seriousness. Su Yu couldn’t help but smile. “What if I do well? What will you do?”
“Doing well is what you should do. I even came to see you off to the exam, what more do you want?” He Mu Qing glared at Su Yu, but her tone softened. She bit her lip. “Come find me with your requests after you get your good scores, got it?”
“Okay, okay, I’m leaving. You should go back to class.”
Su Yu smiled and nodded, turning to look at Uncle He and Auntie He sitting in front. The whole family had come to see him off. “Uncle, Auntie, thank you. I’ll be going now.”
“Do well on the exam, Su Yu. Don’t mind your father. He didn’t even come to see his son off for the gaokao. I’ll give him a good scolding later.” Uncle He reassured Su Yu, seemingly afraid he would be upset.
“It’s okay. I actually perform better when he’s not around.” Su Yu didn’t care about his father. His presence or absence wouldn’t change anything.
“I’m going to the exam center. No need to pick me up this afternoon. I’ll go back myself.”
Su Yu closed the car door and left, merging into the stream of examinees.
…
The hands on the clean clock face moved slowly, time ticking away, the air thick with anxiety.
Su Yu held his pen, the questions on the paper familiar. His once-blurred memories were becoming clearer. He knew the answers to almost every question, but he deliberately answered some incorrectly. He wanted an average score, just enough to get into Qingchuan University.
He had thought he would hesitate, but the moment he picked up his pen, he seemed to have hardened his resolve, pushing aside all other thoughts, his mind focused only on the paper in front of him.
He had experienced so much in this life, things he had never imagined before. His second chance at life had brought him so many moments with Xia Qian Ge that he had only dared to dream of before.
He loved her, but he had never truly understood her. All the sweet moments they shared in this life gave him hope.
Perhaps he could help her overcome her obsession. He could change He Mu Qing’s future, so why couldn’t he change his and Xia Qian Ge’s? But he was still afraid, not just of the gleaming knife in her hand.
He had been avoiding the fact that he was the cause of her madness. It was a bloody truth laid bare before him. He also held a knife in his hand, just like she had said when she lay on top of him, possessing his body: he had killed Xia Qian Ge with his own hands.
Xia Qian Ge was dead, killed by Su Yu.
So he ran, escaped to Qingchuan, far away from her. Distance and time would heal everything. It had to end.
The bell rang. Time was up.
…
The two days of exams seemed to pass in a blur. Su Yu walked out of the exam center with his bag, letting out a long, heavy breath, as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. No matter how much he had hesitated before, the results were now set, and there was nothing more to think about.
“How did you do?”
Someone patted him on the back. Su Yu turned around and saw Chen Kai, who had also just come out of the exam center. They had been assigned to the same exam center and had agreed to meet outside.
“It’s not like I was aiming for Jiangnan University. How could I mess it up?”
“I mean… did you get a score high enough for Jiangnan?”
“No, not enough for Jiangnan.” Su Yu shook his head, wanting to end the conversation.
“That’s good. At least you can finally move on.” Chen Kai put his arm around Su Yu’s shoulder, chuckling. “When you go to Qingchuan, if you find a girl you like, tell me first. I can help you scout.”
“What about you? I haven’t seen you like anyone in three years of high school. Are you planning to unleash your charm in college?”
“Me? Haha, actually…”
Chen Kai’s cheerful expression suddenly dimmed. He looked Su Yu in the eyes, his face unusually serious. “Come on, you always say I never treat you. Let’s go get a drink. I’ll tell you then.”
…
After the exams, perhaps it was time to indulge in the long-awaited freedom. But Su Yu hadn’t expected to be dragged off to drink right after putting down his pen.
As evening approached, the food stalls on the street began to open for business. They found a spot at a large outdoor eatery. The long, narrow street was lined with yellowing plastic chairs. Sparks flew from the charcoal grills, the greyish-black smoke swirling in the air. The burly owner, his arms bare, fanned away the smoke, the sizzling skewers of meat tempting their appetites.
“Drink up, bottoms up.”
Chen Kai tossed Su Yu a beer bottle and took a large gulp from his own before Su Yu could react.
The cold beer flowed down his throat, and soon, a reddish flush appeared on his face. They were still students, and this was their first time drinking. It would likely end in a mess.
Su Yu didn’t drink much. Although he had a high tolerance in his previous life, his current untrained body probably couldn’t handle the alcohol. If they both got drunk, they wouldn’t be able to go back. But he didn’t stop Chen Kai from drinking, just sat there watching the people coming and going on the street. The tangled old electrical wires hung overhead, casting mottled shadows in the dim moonlight. An old bicycle rode past on the sidewalk, its bell ringing.
He also wanted to let loose, to get completely drunk.
“I didn’t want to tell you this before, because I was afraid it would affect your pursuit of Xia Qian Ge. Actually, I also like someone, but I’m planning on giving up.” Chen Kai suddenly spoke, his breath heavy with alcohol. “Now that you’re out of the picture, I won’t hide it anymore. Mo Yufei, your deskmate, I’ve liked her for a while.”
“Oh, Mo Yufei.”
Su Yu smiled. He had never known Chen Kai liked anyone in his previous life. Chen Kai had married early, to a colleague. Su Yu had even attended his wedding. They had looked happy and in love on stage, but perhaps it was just for show.
“Then go after her. Mo Yufei is also going to a local university, the same one as you, I think.”
“I confessed, but she rejected me.”
Chen Kai blushed, chuckling self-deprecatingly. “She said she hadn’t thought about that kind of thing, but then I saw her getting close to a boy from the next class.”
“…”
“Didn’t you ask her about it? Mo Yufei doesn’t seem like that kind of girl. Don’t miss your chance.”
In Su Yu’s memory, Mo Yufei was quiet and didn’t seem to have any ulterior motives. She was pretty and not exactly an outcast in the class.
“I didn’t ask. Didn’t want to embarrass myself.”
Su Yu saw a flicker of light in Chen Kai’s eyes, which quickly dimmed again. He didn’t say anything more, just opened another bottle of beer and handed it to Chen Kai, clinking their bottles together.
The dim, yellow streetlights attracted countless moths and insects. The sparse light fell on them, beer bottles scattered on the ground, along with a few puddles of vomit.
Su Yu helped Chen Kai leave the eatery, their shadows stretching long in the light. Perhaps, it was time for them to say goodbye too.
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