Chapter 14: Wild Ambition
The classroom was still noisy and chaotic. Every now and then, someone would bump into her desk, causing the tall stack of books to teeter precariously, sending the book she was about to turn to tumbling to the floor. Even after brushing off the dust, a dark mark remained, impossible to erase, marring the cleanliness of the book, making it look particularly unpleasant.
No apology, not a single one.
Listening to the fading clamor, Xia Qian Ge lowered her long eyelashes, gently smoothing the wrinkles on the book, and continued turning the pages, her expression unchanged.
Reading seemed to be just a way to find some empathy, to calm her restless heart. But as she turned to a new page, her gaze lingered on a particular passage, her eyes fixed for a long time. A surge of blood rushed to her heart, then spread through her limbs.
The printed words were arranged like this:
“Without you, I drag my frail body through a soulless, morbid existence, refusing treatment. With you, I remain frail, still morbid, and you mock me like a medicine bottle. My disappointment is immeasurable, yet you say, I am the medicine to cure you…”
Xia Qian Ge read softly, her voice low… but resolute.
Around her, a few female classmates whispered amongst themselves. The boys in the class had probably gone to watch the basketball game today. More than half the seats were empty. With the boys gone, the girls no longer had to maintain their usual restraint. They played around noisily in the classroom, gossiping loudly. Xia Qian Ge sat there… looking particularly out of place.
Exceptional people seemed destined to be lonely. Xia Qian Ge’s relationship with everyone was decent. She always smiled at people, maintaining a proper distance. But if you have equally good relationships with everyone, isn’t that the same as having no close relationships at all?
But Xia Qian Ge didn’t care, just as she disdained joining in on the gossip and whispers of the girls around her. Their shy, joyful tones revealed their adolescent crushes.
…
“Hey, why do boys like basketball so much? They all ran off at once. The exams are coming up, and they’re not even worried.”
“Boys, they all like to show off. They’re just waiting for girls to cheer for them. So childish. By the way, how many boys from our class are playing in the basketball game?”
“Chen Kai, Wang Mingle… I forgot the others. Oh… and Su Yu.”
“Tsk tsk, why do you blush whenever someone mentions Su Yu? Something’s going on, right?”
“I like Su Yu, didn’t you know?”
“It’s just because he’s good-looking. I know you. Do you even have a chance?”
“Why wouldn’t I…”
“Doesn’t Su Yu like…”
The voice abruptly stopped, seemingly implying something.
“Don’t talk nonsense. Su Yu helped me carry my homework a few times. He’s so gentle with me. We even chatted until late at night a few days ago.” The girl lowered her voice, her tone joyful. “You guys don’t get that kind of treatment, do you? I’m going to chase him after graduation.”
The girl deliberately raised her voice, “I’ve called dibs, no one can steal him from me!”
“Wow, no wonder you rejected that boy who confessed to you. You had your eyes on Su Yu all along.”
“Hee hee…”
…
The chatter continued, but Xia Qian Ge was no longer in the mood to listen. She closed her book, her tired gaze following the setting sun’s rays to the distant basketball court. He should be playing there now. Xia Qian Ge could vaguely make out the crowd on the court.
Too many people were watching him… she didn’t like it. This wasn’t a good sign.
Her delicate eyebrows furrowed. The more the girls in her class gossiped, the louder the cheers from the court, the more irritated she became.
A thin layer of ice gradually formed over Xia Qian Ge’s eyes, hidden beneath her bangs. She took deep breaths, trying to calm her racing heart. This momentary loss of composure startled her.
Xia Qian Ge… Xia Qian Ge, what are you doing? Showing such a flustered side of yourself.
It wasn’t just the current irritation. The change in her mood started when some things began to slip out of her control.
When did it start? Xia Qian Ge couldn’t find the answer, nor could she pinpoint the problem. She had clearly been carving her image into his eyes, waiting for the day when they would be completely filled with her, the only thing he could see.
But suddenly, many other things appeared in his clear eyes. The time he spent looking at her grew shorter and shorter, the messages he sent her became fewer and fewer, and he no longer searched for her figure in the crowd. The boy who once held a naive, almost obsessive love for her seemed… to have changed drastically.
Why… why hadn’t he continued along the path she had laid out for him? Why had he deviated, his goals shifting, requiring her to constantly readjust her plans? If the fish completely jumped out of the pond and into the vast ocean, she would never find him again.
She admitted she was afraid. The old him would never have spared a glance for other women. But now, Xia Qian Ge was unsure. Perhaps… she should be more proactive.
She would win… she had to. She hadn’t even noticed the wild ambition growing within her quiet exterior, threatening to consume her entirely.
Her sharp nails unconsciously scratched the page, leaving deep marks. Every grain of affection in his eyes, as fine as dust, should be under her control. Not a bit more, not a fraction less!
She abruptly stood up, her gaze sweeping over the gossiping girls, cold as a knife.
Xia Qian Ge walked towards the restroom, but the conversation behind her made her stop.
…
“Su Yu’s game is about to start. Let’s go watch.”
“Tsk tsk, what are you planning?”
“Don’t play dumb. She wants to cheer for him.”
…
A cold smile played on Xia Qian Ge’s lips. She didn’t care about the girls behind her, didn’t even feel the urge to compete. But she should be more proactive. Consider it a honeyed treat for her pet, so that his eyes would only reflect her image, Xia Qian Ge.
Xia Qian Ge changed direction, heading down the stairs.
Outside the window behind her, the clouds burned like flames, engulfing the entire sky. The blood-red setting sun served as the backdrop for her departure, casting a crimson filter over her.
Her figure was lonely and obsessive, like a hungry wolf that wouldn’t release its grip on its prey’s throat until blood flowed freely, or until she was exhausted and near death, only then… would she relent.
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