Chapter 15: The Boy in This Moment
“It’s me.” Lu Li’s voice was incredibly calm, but the emotions contained within were so complex that even he couldn’t decipher them. An Baili suddenly knelt before him, not daring to touch him: “I’m sorry, I’m truly sorry for what my father did… I didn’t know…” Her words were incoherent, and she sobbed uncontrollably. She knew clearly the profound impact An Gulai’s actions had on Lu Li. It could be said that all the suffering Lu Li endured in the first half of his life was thanks to An Gulai.
After obtaining the document, An Baili’s first reaction was to find Lu Li to confirm its authenticity. At that time, Lu Li was with Chu Jingyi, and after failing to find him, she calmed down and decided to confront her father at home. She didn’t know how to face Lu Li anymore. Guilt? Embarrassment? Shame? Did she even have the right to ask for Lu Li’s forgiveness? Was this the reason why Lu Li had broken up with her?
An Baili knelt on the ground, attempting to use this primitive way of admitting fault to seek Lu Li’s forgiveness for herself and her father. Lu Li didn’t look at her, but simply said: “You don’t have to kneel to anyone, including me.” After saying this, Lu Li didn’t help his former wife up, but calmly walked towards the living room. He was now like a volcano about to erupt, and it wasn’t just anger that was about to explode, but deeper emotions as well.
“You? You’ve come again?” An Gulai was lying on the sofa, surrounded by beer bottles. The TV was playing a music program, broadcasting Accusefive’s “Ugly People Make a Fuss”:
Cherishing suddenly became a trivial thing
As time passes, I fear that a heart full of emotions will be too much like a child
Often told it’s a reward for a bright future
How to judge, how to know the sinister intentions of this treacherous world
“Go cook, I have something to say to him.” An Gulai shouted at his daughter. An Baili wiped her tears, lowered her head, and walked into the kitchen. “Please, have a seat.” He made space for Lu Li on the sofa, acting naturally, not treating him as an ordinary student. The moment he saw the document his daughter brought back, An Gulai knew that Lu Li wasn’t an ordinary student. Perhaps, he could find the solace he sought in Lu Li?
An Gulai reeked of alcohol, the smell unbearable. Lu Li didn’t want to sit next to him at all.
“So? What do you want with me? Did you regret letting me go last time?” An Gulai chuckled. “It’s alright, I’m right here at your disposal.”
Lu Li said: “Your wife died in childbirth, didn’t she?”
An Gulai’s hypocritical and hateful smile instantly vanished, his eyes flashing with a wolf-like green light. His wife was his absolute taboo, his Achilles’ heel.
Lu Li fearlessly moved his face closer to An Gulai, just centimeters away from this father-in-law he had never met: “I know why you went crazy. In 1992, you met Mei Jinliu on a blind date. You were 21 that year, with a good family background, high status, high education, a rising star, right?”
“Mei Jinliu, such a beautiful girl. Although she was born into a working-class family, she was gentle, kind, intelligent, and considerate. Our rising star, An Gulai, naturally fell head over heels for her. A perfect love story.”
Lu Li grabbed An Gulai’s collar and straightened his alcohol-stained shirt: “But, everyone hid one thing from you, and that was that Mei Jinliu already had someone she admired. She only went on a blind date with you for her parents. You were happy like a fool for nine whole years! Until she gave birth to a daughter that wasn’t yours and died in the delivery room, right?”
An Gulai instantly exploded. He pushed Lu Li over, grabbed a glass beer bottle from the floor: “You’re fucking courting death! I’ll kill you!” These things were clearly written in the information provided by Chu Xiaodong. Lu Li brought them up again just to provoke him.
Yes, An Baili wasn’t An Gulai’s biological daughter. This was the truth. An Gulai loved Mei Jinliu too deeply. He had numbed himself countless times, trying to convince himself that An Baili was his own flesh and blood. But every time he was drunk, the scene of Mei Jinliu’s death would intrude on his mind:
“Husband, I’m sorry… but I don’t regret giving birth to this child… Please, please take good care of her…”
What could he do? What could he do? Even though Mei Jinliu had made an irreparable mistake, he couldn’t bring himself to hate her! This was the reason for An Gulai’s increasing depression over the past ten years. He hated himself for being a simp, he hated himself for being a cuckold, but he also hated Mei Jinliu. Why didn’t she tell him sooner? Maybe… maybe he would have forgiven her?
“Dad, Dad… no!” An Baili had been watching from the door. Seeing An Gulai pick up the glass beer bottle, she rushed in and shielded Lu Li. “Don’t hurt Lu Li! Don’t!”
“I’m not your father!” An Gulai roared. As soon as he said these words, all the strength seemed to drain from his body. He had bottled up these words for sixteen years, pretending to be An Baili’s biological father, just for Mei Jinliu’s last wish. He was too tired.
Lu Li suddenly grabbed An Baili’s hand and pulled up her sleeve before she could react, revealing the dense bruises on her arm. An Baili gasped and tried to pull her hand back, but Lu Li’s grip was tight, like an iron hoop binding her. An Baili noticed that Lu Li’s eyes were wide open. The usually placid Lu Li rarely showed such an expression.
“Who did this?”
“…” Yesterday, when An Baili came back with the document to confront her father, she was met with a beating.
Li still cares about me… An Baili felt a surge of untimely sweetness in her heart. As expected, no matter how many times he was reborn, Lu Li was still Lu Li, forever the boy who would care for her when she was down. She suddenly felt that everything was worth it, even being born into a terrible family, even being rejected by Lu Li after rebirth. As long as she had Lu Li’s concern, everything was worth it.
Lu Li felt the volcano in his chest on the verge of eruption. He came to find An Baili today for only two reasons: first, to retrieve the document; second, to make sure An Baili was safe. And now, he had one more thing to do. Lu Li silently pushed An Baili away, picked up the broken glass bottle from the floor, and slowly walked towards An Gulai, who was kneeling on the ground, crying.
The song on the TV reached its climax:
Ugly people make a fuss
You better confess everything
Found the accounts don’t add up, honesty is no longer reliable
Don’t admit it and still want to play dumb
Ugly people make a fuss but there’s no evidence to explain
If you asked Lu Li what youth was, he would definitely give an extremely romantic answer. But reality was never that romantic. The youth of the real world was often associated with impulsiveness, recklessness, and regret. If Lu Li were to describe it, it could all be summed up in one word:
Spirit.
Crack!
The emerald green beer bottle exploded like fireworks, shattering into countless pieces, complementing the splattering blood. An Gulai was jolted awake by the blow and angrily tried to fight back, but Lu Li kicked him over again and picked up another bottle with half the beer remaining.
“An Gulai, didn’t you want to die? Why are you resisting?” Even in extreme anger, Lu Li’s voice remained incredibly calm, even terrifying.
“I…” He said he wanted to die, but when truly faced with the threat of death, An Gulai found… he didn’t want to die anymore. Although Lu Li wasn’t physically imposing, he was muscular, young, and strong, with explosive power. An Gulai’s frail body couldn’t resist him at all. He could only look pleadingly at his daughter, no, at An Baili.
“Don’t… don’t kill me…”
An Baili hugged Lu Li’s leg, the sight of the blood on his hand shocking her. It wasn’t just An Gulai’s blood, but Lu Li’s as well. His fingers were embedded in the edges of the glass shards, gripping tighter and tighter, the blood flowing more and more. “Li, don’t kill him, you can’t kill him! You can’t kill him! Don’t dirty your hands…” An Baili cried.
Words were cheap, the more the cheaper. Often, the more taciturn a person was, the more weight their words carried. Just like anger. The less often someone got angry, the more terrifying they were when they did.
Crack! Lu Li smashed the bottle down mercilessly again. This time, he used too much force, causing his right hand to weaken, but An Gulai also lost consciousness after this blow. The old man collapsed weakly on the ground, blood oozing from his head, looking extremely frightening.
An Baili was startled. She was truly afraid that Lu Li would be involved in a murder case, afraid that Lu Li’s future would be ruined because of her. Suppressing her fear, she was about to check An Gulai’s breathing.
Lu Li suddenly grabbed her: “Now, I’m going to listen to your explanation.” His voice was trembling, even weak, showing that he was far from calm. An Baili’s eyes reddened, and she no longer cared about An Gulai’s life or death. She hugged Lu Li and sobbed uncontrollably.
On the TV, the song gradually came to an end:
Cherishing suddenly became a trivial thing
As time passes, I fear that a heart full of emotions will be too much like a child
Often told it’s a reward for a bright future
How to judge, how to know the sinister intentions of this treacherous world
Ugly people make a fuss
***
丑人多作怪 is a Chinese idiom that literally means “Ugly people make a fuss” or “Ugly people will do all kinds of weird things to get attention”. The idiom is often used to describe situations where people who are malicious, selfish, or unscrupulous cause problems or stir up trouble for others.
-It can also imply that these individuals are prone to making a scene or causing a commotion, often for their own benefit or to draw attention to themselves.
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