No. 64 Even If Seas Turn to Mulberry Fields
A wave of anxiety washed over me as Xiaodie and I greeted another morning.
The familiar gray mist hung heavy over the residential complex. A faint glimmer of light peeked through the eastern horizon as I opened the window.
After preparing two bowls of noodles, I carried them to the living room and returned to my room, pulling back the covers and opening the curtains.
“Ugh…”
Xiaodie groaned, her eyes fluttering open as the sunlight and cool air hit her face. She glared at me sleepily. “Can’t you wake me up like a normal person, Yi Yao?”
She was wearing only a thin sleepdress, her small frame vulnerable and inviting. The fabric had slipped down, revealing the curve of her shoulder, and her hair was a tangled mess, a single stubborn strand sticking up defiantly. The sight was both endearing and incredibly tempting.
If I were still a boy, I wouldn’t be able to resist.
“You mean like in those anime, where I barge into your room, jump on your bed, and shout, ‘Wake up, sleepyhead!’ while showering you with affection?” I said flatly, gathering my homework and tossing her backpack onto the bed.
“That would be nice!”
“Nice, my foot. Get up and eat. We’ll be late for school.”
I retrieved her freshly laundered uniform and skirt from the balcony and handed them to her. “The forecast says it might rain today. Pack an umbrella. And if you’re still having cramps, bring a thermos with some hot water. This weather isn’t kind to periods. I’ll be monitoring your diet today.”
It took her a moment to process my words. “How did you know…”
I pointed at the calendar on the wall. “You told me it starts on the 7th. It’s the 8th today.”
“Awww… Yi Yao, you make all the other boys seem like immature little kids. You even remember my period cycle! They could never be as thoughtful as you…”
“Flattery will get you nowhere. Get up and eat.”
I knew she was prone to sleeping in.
“I laid out your clothes. Get dressed and come to the living room after you’re done.”
I left the room, a sigh escaping my lips.
This was life, I suppose.
“Hey, Yi Yao, how about this hat? Can I wear it to school?”
Xiaodie emerged from my room, her hair still damp from her shower, sporting a navy blue cap with a fleet insignia. It surprisingly complemented her uniform and skirt.
“Hibiki or Akatsuki?”
Kantai Collection, a light yuri anime that had been banned from broadcast. I remembered that Hibiki and Akatsuki from the Sixth Destroyer Division often wore similar hats.
“It doesn’t matter. I got it from Taobao. They said it’s Hibiki, but I think it suits me more as Akatsuki. After all, my hair isn’t silver.”
Just like at the hospital, she had a knack for surprising me with small, unexpected gestures.
Most of them were anime-related, of course.
I had to admit, the hat, coupled with her long hair cascading down her back, gave her a certain charm.
She had declared that since I was taking care of the cooking and cleaning, it was her duty to be adorable.
“Don’t worry, medical technology is advancing every day. The surgery will be fine,” she said, hopping onto the back of my bicycle as we left the apartment complex.
“Yeah.”
I didn’t know how to feel.
I wanted my mother to enjoy her remaining year without the ordeal of surgery, yet I clung to the hope that the transplant would be successful. But the thought of it failing, of her life being cut short…
“You’re very close to your mother, aren’t you?” she asked as we rode onto the main road.
“No, actually. I wasn’t as close to her as I was to my father.”
“What?”
Her surprise was evident in her voice.
“In my previous life, my father was strict about my studies. He only allowed me to visit my mother at the hospital on Sundays. And even then, I was always busy with homework. I barely talked to her.”
I kept my voice steady, my gaze fixed on the road ahead.
“Even in her final days, my father simply told me that we couldn’t afford to keep her in the hospital anymore, that she was resting at home. He told me to keep my phone on in case he needed me to come home. Three days later, my phone rang during class.”
“It was my father, telling me to come home immediately, to see my mother one last time. When I arrived, she was burning with fever, her mind delirious. I held her hand, and she whispered, ‘I wish you were a girl.’”
My vision blurred with unshed tears.
“What did she mean?”
“She had always been proud of having a son. But in that moment, knowing about my father’s infidelity, she wished I had been a girl.”
People never truly appreciated what they had until it was gone.
Their children’s achievements, their families’ well-being.
“After her funeral, I had to return to our ancestral home for the traditional mourning rituals. When I came back, I discovered that I had been given a major demerit for being absent from school for seven days. Oh, and I forgot to mention, I was attending Municipal High School No. 1, the school everyone dreamed of getting into.”
“But it was a special circumstance!”
“The school didn’t care. Even after a student committed suicide, we were still expected to attend classes. A family member’s death was apparently not a valid excuse. Because of that demerit, I lost my chance at becoming a model student, and I missed out on my dream university.”
We arrived at the school, the bicycle wobbling slightly as I parked it.
“When I came to this world, I was actually happy. I thought I could redo everything, undo all the tragedies, find redemption. But I was wrong. I’ve tried my best, but nothing has changed.”
“I became a girl, and my mother in this world told me, ‘I wish you were a boy’…”
“What am I even fighting for?”
My voice cracked with despair as I locked the bicycle.
In the end, my family was still falling apart.
My efforts wouldn’t cure my mother’s illness, nor would they bring happiness to our home.
Nothing had changed. Nothing would change.
“That’s not true! It’s not like that!”
Xiaodie grabbed my hands, her voice firm.
“You saved me.”
She looked up at me, her eyes shining with conviction. “You said that I would be dead by now in your original timeline. I wouldn’t be here, right? We wouldn’t have shared those moments with your mother at the hospital. That’s the reward for your efforts, Yi Yao!”
Her voice, louder than usual, attracted the attention of the other students. We were an unusual sight—two girls holding hands in the bicycle shed.
Xiaodie blushed, just like she had on our first day of school.
But she stood her ground, her voice trembling slightly as she continued.
“We wouldn’t have met if not for you, right? So don’t say your efforts were in vain. Don’t lose faith in the future. Think about the people who love you, you idiot!”
And then, before I could react, she stood on her tiptoes and kissed me, her lips pressing softly against mine.
In front of everyone, she had kissed me.
It was a gentle kiss, fleeting but profound.
It felt like an eternity.
“Um…”
She pulled back, her face crimson.
“Yi Yao… did I… do something wrong?” she asked, her gaze darting nervously.
“No.”
I took her hand, ignoring the stunned stares of the other students.
“Maybe this is for the best.”
The crowd around us faded away, as if they had never been there.
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