Chapter 18: The Past
“Why have you gotten so good at the game? I never knew you could do those combos. They’re not even online, are they?”
“Just mashed some buttons.”
Su Yu casually replied. He and Chen Kai had just left the internet cafe behind them. School had ended early today, so Chen Kai dragged him along to play a few games. Even though he had a computer at home, Chen Kai insisted on going to the internet cafe, claiming the atmosphere was better.
“That’s no fun.” Chen Kai pouted. “Teach me a few moves, I haven’t learned that combo yet.”
“Buy me a drink.” Su Yu gestured. “One milk tea.”
“No money! We’ll talk after the exams.”
The two walked with their arms slung around each other’s shoulders, their backpacks hanging loosely. The feeling was familiar. Su Yu no longer had the desire to play games, yet he still came to the internet cafe, spending the afternoon with Chen Kai, fiddling with the grimy mouse and ash-covered keyboard.
“Su Yu, your family still lives here, right? Will you come back during holidays and breaks?”
“Not sure. I’ll be alone anyway. I might visit Mu Qing. Once she goes to college, I might not come back at all.”
“What? What about me? We’re best buds, and you won’t come back to see me?”
Chen Kai draped his arm around Su Yu’s neck, clowning around. Their shadows stretched long on the familiar old street. They walked to the intersection and parted ways. Remembering that He Mu Qing’s favorite milk tea shop was nearby, Su Yu decided to buy her some mango pudding.
“Hey, I suddenly think He Mu Qing is pretty good. Aside from her bad temper, there’s nothing wrong with her.”
Su Yu just glanced at him indifferently, making Chen Kai feel uneasy.
“If you don’t like her, you don’t like her. Why are you getting angry?”
“She can find someone better.”
He had already changed He Mu Qing’s future and shouldn’t interfere any further. Her life would be different now. She could continue being the proud swan she was, her life taking a completely different trajectory.
“Tsk tsk, I don’t understand you. I’m leaving.” Chen Kai shrugged and headed towards the bus stop in the opposite direction.
Su Yu remembered the way to the milk tea shop clearly. Sometimes, after going to the internet cafe, he would buy snacks for He Mu Qing. But he also had another reason. After his rebirth, his time had been consumed by studies, and there were some places he hadn’t had the chance to visit.
…
The park still looked dilapidated, neglected and unkempt. The old exercise equipment was covered in rust, the once colorful flowerbeds now overgrown with weeds. A black stray cat darted through the low, gray bushes, disappearing without a trace.
Because of its condition, few people came to this quiet park. Su Yu passed through it after buying He Mu Qing’s favorite mango pudding from the milk tea shop. Taking the park path saved him a lot of time. When he was younger and bolder, he hadn’t been afraid of this seemingly gloomy park.
The benches along the path were covered in a thick layer of dust. Su Yu walked forward, towards a pavilion. He climbed the steps. The red-painted pillars were cracked and weathered, the cracks spreading from the base to the roof. Occasionally, small grains of sand would fall. The entire pavilion seemed on the verge of collapse.
The corners of the pavilion were filled with cobwebs, but the stone table in the center looked clean, covered only by a thin layer of dust, seemingly out of place in the dilapidated park.
She… hadn’t been here in a while.
Su Yu’s thoughts wandered, each familiar spot in the park tugging at his nerves, a dull ache in his chest.
He hadn’t met Xia Qian Ge at school, but rather one day, after leaving the internet cafe with a mango pudding in hand, he had taken a shortcut through the park and seen her sitting in the pavilion, working on problems.
Her skin was as white as snow, purer than the white earphone wire around her neck. The slight furrow of her delicate, willow-like eyebrows tugged at Su Yu’s heartstrings. That day, he stood there for a long time, no longer just stealing glances. He was mesmerized, caught in her gaze when she looked up.
His heart almost stopped, then clenched tightly, because he saw the bloodshot eyes, the faint redness around her eyes, and the faint traces of tears on her cheeks.
…
“I’m from Yangming High. Starting Grade 10 this year.”
“Oh? Me too.”
“Why… are you crying?”
“It’s nothing, just some dust in my eyes.”
Later, he often passed by this place, hoping to catch a glimpse of her.
…
His nostalgic thoughts were interrupted by a mournful meow. Su Yu suddenly turned around and saw Xia Qian Ge standing in the wind, her long hair fluttering, sadness swirling in her clear eyes. Su Yu remembered her saying that when she was feeling down, she would come here to be alone.
“You… still come here often?”
Su Yu masked his surprise with a smile and pointed to the thin layer of dust on the table. “I thought you wouldn’t come anymore.”
With the exams so close, Xia Qian Ge should be studying at home, not here.
“It’s too stuffy at home. I came out for some air.”
Xia Qian Ge brushed past Su Yu, wiped the dust off the seat with a tissue, and sat down. She was still wearing her ugly school uniform, but it still looked good on her.
Whenever Su Yu saw Xia Qian Ge, she was mostly in her school uniform. At their age, many girls were already secretly using their mothers’ makeup and imitating the fashionable outfits in magazines. As for their school uniforms… they were long forgotten in the corners of their closets.
“That day, during the mock application, you chose Jiangnan University, right?”
Xia Qian Ge nodded slightly, looking at the boy standing under the pavilion, his posture tall and straight like a pine tree, dark emotions swirling in his black eyes, forming into shards of ice.
“Yes, Jiangnan University.”
Silence spread like the setting sun. Su Yu paused. Although he already knew the answer, he couldn’t help but ask, “How is… your family?”
“They’re fine. They got divorced.”
“Divorced… I’m sorry.”
Su Yu came from a single-parent family. He knew who suffered the most in a broken home.
“It’s okay. They can’t fight anymore, and I don’t have to hide here after school to do my homework.”
Xia Qian Ge seemed indifferent, at least stronger than Su Yu had been. She looked at the mango pudding in his hand, stunned for a moment.
“Do you like sweet desserts?”
“I don’t, but someone does. I’m bringing it to her.”
“I see. So… it was always for her.”
“What?”
Xia Qian Ge’s voice was too soft; Su Yu didn’t hear her clearly.
“Nothing. Aren’t you going back?” Xia Qian Ge’s voice was cold, perhaps because of the evening breeze.
“Oh, I’ll be going then. It’s getting late. You should go back soon too.”
“Mm-hmm.”
Su Yu left the park, leaving Xia Qian Ge alone, sitting amidst the layers of leaves, her figure looking thin… and lonely.
He had forgotten something. In the past, when Xia Qian Ge told him to go back, he had never left so readily.
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