Chapter 6: Confession
“Get out, get out, get out! Don’t come to my house again, you’re not welcome!”
“No, Mu Qing, listen to me—”
…
Su Yu was shoved out of the He family home, the door slamming shut in his face. He glanced at the familiar iron door, plastered with small advertisements, the smile slowly fading from his face.
He had been truly happy, so much so that he spoke without thinking. Teasing He Mu Qing was just a way to confirm things, to make the scenes from his memories replay before his eyes. The sense of unreality after his rebirth finally began to dissipate. This wasn’t a dream. From now on, he could live his life again.
His rebirth was a fact, but once he accepted it, the issue of He Mu Qing reminded him of the face etched in his pupils before his death. The shadows of those days haunted him like a persistent curse. Remembering his imprisonment, a cold sweat dampened his back.
Xia Qian Ge… the woman he had loved for so long. When did she become so mad and obsessive? Was the current Xia Qian Ge still the one he knew?
…
Su Yu went downstairs and back to his apartment. Entering his room, he saw his phone still on the desk and suddenly remembered the message.
Listening to the clear beat of his heart, he slowly unlocked his phone. There was a message from a little while ago. Xia Qian Ge had replied.
“It’s okay. But the college entrance exams are coming up, Su Yu, do you still have time to play these games? You should work hard and focus.”
Su Yu stared at the message, his eyes flickering with uncertainty. But in the end, he sighed in relief, a weight lifting from his heart. What he feared hadn’t happened.
The Xia Qian Ge in his memories was an exceptionally pure girl. Even her casual smiles and frowns were as sweet as the clear spring water in the mountains.
Her profile picture was a clumsy-looking Psyduck, the chat bubbles were pink clouds, and the font was a wobbly, rounded one. Everything was as beautiful as it was back then, that purity so alluring to an adolescent boy.
“Thanks, I will. You too.”
Su Yu replied, his tone neutral. No matter what Xia Qian Ge was like now, he should keep his distance. Perhaps if he stayed away, the tragedy wouldn’t happen.
Xia Qian Ge didn’t reply immediately. The empty chat box remained silent. Su Yu remembered how he used to avoid leaving his phone on his desk because he couldn’t resist checking it whenever a notification sounded. If it was a message from her, he would drop his pen and reply instantly. If not… he would be disappointed, doodling meaningless scribbles on his homework, losing his motivation to study.
But now, Su Yu just glanced at it and didn’t wait, getting up to take a shower.
…
In the bathroom, Su Yu turned on the shower. The steaming hot water poured down, soaking his hair, which he hadn’t cut in a while due to his busy senior year schedule. His vision blurred, the steam quickly filling the small bathroom, creating a hazy illusion.
The illusion was tinted with a rose-colored filter. Su Yu saw himself holding Xia Qian Ge’s hand, walking along the tree-lined school path. The girl leaned gently on his shoulder, a shy smile on her lips. The pure beauty of youth formed the backdrop of the illusion.
He couldn’t help but ask himself, if he rekindled their love, nurtured it carefully, would their ending be different?
The question still lingered in his heart. People always couldn’t help but fantasize about unrealistic things. But he wasn’t sure… and he didn’t dare to gamble.
Su Yu dried his wet hair with a towel and returned to his desk. Xia Qian Ge had just replied to his message.
“Okay, let’s both work hard.”
Lying in bed, Su Yu scrolled up through his chat history with Xia Qian Ge. Back then, he had been so clueless, racking his brains for topics just to exchange a few insignificant words with her, yet he could be happy for a long time.
He quickly reached the top of the chat log. Su Yu read every message Xia Qian Ge had sent him, but he couldn’t find any signs. The current Xia Qian Ge still seemed like a clear pool of water, untainted by ink. She was still Xia Qian Ge, pure… transparent.
The lack of evidence was the biggest evidence. Su Yu’s long bangs cast a shadow over his eyes. This proved one thing, just like the woman had said, it was him… who had killed Xia Qian Ge, a person named Su Yu.
“From the moment I fell in love with you… there was no saving me…”
The woman’s voice echoed in Su Yu’s ears. The sensation of the blade piercing his flesh resurfaced in his chest. It was a reminder. Would he repeat the same mistakes in this life?
When did Xia Qian Ge fall in love with him? Su Yu of the previous life hadn’t figured that out either. His seemingly hopeless pursuit in college had received a response from Xia Qian Ge when he was about to give up. That day, he had run countless laps around the school track in joy.
Su Yu initially thought it was out of guilt, but he could see the deep love in her eyes, something that couldn’t be faked.
If it was during his freshman year that he made Xia Qian Ge fall for him, then the best way to stay away from her was undoubtedly to not attend the same university. Their relationship wouldn’t change because of this pointless truth-or-dare confession, and Xia Qian Ge would gradually forget everything.
“Are you still awake?”
The profile picture flickered. Another message from Xia Qian Ge. Su Yu frowned. Xia Qian Ge rarely asked him such meaningless questions in high school. In fact, she wasn’t very enthusiastic towards him back then, just friendly as classmates, treating him no differently than others.
Unfortunately, Su Yu hadn’t understood this before. The most common fantasy of adolescent boys was that “that girl must like me.” Back then, he always felt that Xia Qian Ge treated him specially, even taking an obvious excuse like “I’m going to take a shower” as a sign of her interest.
Had his lack of confession tonight affected the original course of events?
“Yeah, not yet.”
“Oh, then go to sleep soon. We have morning reading tomorrow.”
“I will, going to sleep now.”
“Good night.”
Su Yu stared at the words “good night” for a long time. His small action could really change so many things. This was the butterfly effect in action. They reminded Su Yu to cut ties quickly.
“Good night.”
Su Yu placed his phone beside his bed. As he turned off the light, he glanced at the calendar hanging on the wall. Each cross marked a day gone by. He marked a large cross on the 5th. After today, there was only one month left until the college entrance exam.
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