Chapter 113: That Pain
With only a week left before the New Talent Awards deadline, Chen Xi had given up on Yu Linna. Though she recognized Yu Linna’s talent, a week wasn’t enough time to write a whole book. A publishable manuscript needed at least one hundred thousand words.
Even if Chen Xi wanted to help her advance, it was simply impossible now.
Without Yu Linna’s own willingness, no amount of pushing would make a difference.
“Chen Xi, weren’t you planning to scout that girl, Yu Linna, the one you had your eye on?”
Huang Jinglin brought up the topic during their coffee date that day.
“I’ve abandoned that idea. If she’s not interested, I can’t force her. It’s a shame, though. She’s a promising talent. I wish I had discovered her sooner.”
Regret flickered across Chen Xi’s face. Over the years, she had unearthed numerous talents and nurtured many successful authors, yet she had failed to recognize Yu Linna’s potential early on, missing the optimal time to recruit her. Had she approached her initially, Yu Linna would have likely agreed. Now, it was too late.
She felt frustrated. An editor known for discovering new talent had let such a promising prospect slip through her fingers.
Chen Xi recalled the last time Luo Nan submitted a manuscript to Wenqing. She had tried her best to sign him, but he ultimately went to Qidian, a lost opportunity. She didn’t want to repeat that mistake.
Perhaps it was a small consolation that Yu Linna wasn’t working for anyone else and wouldn’t become their competitor. Chen Xi tried to see the positive side.
So, what was Yu Linna doing now?
Since Ye Zhiyun’s departure, she had returned to her solitary life. Today, dressed and ready, she went out to run some errands. Ye Zhiyun had left her enough money to last a month.
But a sense of uncertainty lingered. She had been alone from a young age, never quite sure what to do or where to go, drifting through life. Her dreams had been driven by the simple desire for food and warmth.
Now, with those basic needs met, she felt an emptiness, a void.
This wasn’t the life she wanted.
Being cared for was pleasant, but it wasn’t what she truly desired.
Looking up at the bustling street, her gaze fell upon a large screen on a commercial building, displaying an advertisement. It was for a novel adaptation.
“This year’s bestseller, showered with accolades, ‘The Rich Man’s Game’ officially announces its anime adaptation, with the manga version releasing next month! Also, Air’s new work, a collection of short stories, will be published by Wenqing next month!”
*T/N: Here, the author uses 空气 (kōngqì), which means “air.”*
The screen was filled with fireworks and balloons, the words “anime adaptation” particularly prominent, taking up a third of the display. It was clearly a big deal.
Air was the winner of last year’s New Talent Awards, achieving recognition with her novel “The Rich Man’s Game.” Since publishing her first full-length novel, she had released at least five collections of short stories, a format she excelled in. Her short stories always captured the readers’ attention. Crucially, Air was female, a fact that intrigued many readers.
Yu Linna knew Air. She had met her; it was Zhao Yuyan.
Someone so young, yet already so accomplished. It was somewhat enviable.
Yu Linna looked up at the advertisement, sighing.
Everyone had their talents, their own pursuits. Fang Jiangning was a vlogger, Ye Zhiyun a businesswoman, Dai Wenqian a cosplayer, Zhao Yuyan a writer, and Nangong Ying a celebrity.
Only she was nothing.
She had been searching, striving, trying to climb higher, but something always held her back. She longed to know where her path lay, where her destination was.
Pulling her scarf tighter, Yu Linna left. This place didn’t feel right.
Suddenly, amidst the crowd, a flash of blue hair caught her eye. The girl, wearing a mask, sunglasses, and a coat, was trying to blend in, to conceal her identity. But she couldn’t fool Yu Linna. Her figure, no matter how disguised, couldn’t escape her notice.
“Nangong…”
She uttered the name that brought her so much pain, her voice laced with bitterness.
Nangong Ying turned, spotting the blonde hair in the crowd. She froze, then lowered her head. They had finally met again.
Pulling up her scarf and shoving her hands into her pockets, she walked towards the park. Yu Linna understood the silent invitation.
She followed, even without seeing Nangong Ying in the crowd, she knew the way. The park, a place they used to frequent. Back then, Nangong Ying often bought her skewers after school and took her to the park to eat.
“Nangong…”
Nangong Ying stood in the park, her back to Yu Linna. She removed her sunglasses but didn’t dare look at her. Her eyes were filled with guilt.
Towards Yu Linna, she felt nothing but guilt. She had betrayed her to gain her current status, a fact she was acutely aware of. She knew she might never be forgiven.
“Why?”
Yu Linna’s voice trembled as she addressed Nangong Ying’s back, finally voicing the question that had haunted her.
“Why did you do that to me? Why…”
Yu Linna desperately wanted to know, had always wanted to know, why she had been betrayed.
Was their friendship so fragile in the face of opportunity?
Hadn’t they promised to be friends forever? Why…
Nangong Ying bit her lip, clenching her fists, refusing to turn around. She was afraid that if she did, she wouldn’t be able to control herself.
She was a terrible person.
She had hurt her best friend and couldn’t face her.
The person she once cherished most was the one she had hurt the deepest. She was responsible for it all.
“Because… of my dream.”
She uttered the words softly.
And in that moment, Yu Linna’s heart shattered.
“Because of your dream! So you could just sell me out? How could you be so selfish, Nangong? Answer me! How could you be so selfish!”
Head lowered, fists clenched, she roared, her anger intertwined with an unbearable heartache.
Just because of a dream, she could be treated like this. Just because of a dream, she deserved to be betrayed. Why?
Was their friendship so insignificant compared to a dream?
“I’m sorry…”
“I don’t want your apology! I don’t…”
They couldn’t go back.
From that day forward, everything had ended, their paths diverging.
They were never meant to be.
“If you’re not content, then climb higher. The path up is far more complicated than you think. I can only keep going.”
“What about me? What about me… Where do I stand, Nangong?”
“…I’m sorry.”
Putting on her mask, Nangong Ying left without looking back. From beginning to end, she hadn’t faced Yu Linna directly, perhaps out of guilt, or perhaps shame.
Tears streamed down Yu Linna’s face as she stood alone in the park, watching the receding figure, her heart aching. The feeling of betrayal, of abandonment, was incredibly painful. Just because of a dream, she had been treated like this.
It was too much. Why her?
Just as Nangong Ying had said, there was no going back.
Yu Linna didn’t know how long she stood there. When she finally checked the time, her phone displayed 3 PM. She had no idea how long she had been standing there.
Dreams, such a beautiful word, yet it had brought her so much pain.
Because of dreams, she had ended up on the streets, almost taken away.
Because of dreams, she had been betrayed.
Because of dreams, she had nothing.
She remembered Tang Yumeng’s words, her unwavering pursuit of her dream.
Some people could struggle for their dreams their entire lives, while others would ruthlessly betray their loved ones for them. So, were dreams truly that important?
Yu Linna walked, not knowing where she was going. As she thought about the word “dream,” she followed her intuition, eventually finding herself in front of Zhao Yuyan’s house. She stood there, tears long dried, but her heart still cold.
She pressed the doorbell.
“Coming… Linna? Hi! Are you here to hang out? I just finished a PUBG match. Do you play? I have two computers.”
Zhao Yuyan was in her usual loungewear, headphones around her neck, looking like she had just finished gaming. If Chen Xi saw her like this, she would be furious. Wasting time playing games instead of writing; she deserved a scolding.
“Zhao Yuyan… Please tell me, what should I do?”
“What’s wrong? Did someone bully you? I’ll help you teach them a lesson!”
“No… I want to know, what does the word ‘dream’ mean to you?”
Although Zhao Yuyan didn’t understand why Yu Linna had come to her, she invited her in. She turned off her game and offered her guest some pastries from the fridge, but Yu Linna had no appetite, simply sitting there.
Her eyes were filled with confusion, her appearance haggard, her eyes still red.
Nangong Ying’s appearance had shaken her, leaving her with a suffocating pain.
She didn’t understand. What were dreams, really? Could they truly crush a person?
“Linna, although I don’t know what happened, you can tell me if you’re troubled.”
“…I want to know your perspective on dreams.”
She wanted to know how this author, hailed as the “New Talent King,” viewed the concept of dreams.
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