Chapter 26: A Failed Life
“I’m leaving.”
Leaving? Going where? Lu Li’s mind wandered. Everyone had to leave eventually, from childhood to adulthood, from life to death, from boundless romance to silent indifference. This was the inevitable path of humanity, and all anyone could do was delay the inevitable decline.
His hands continued working, but his thoughts drifted far away. He wondered if Miss Lu would go to human heaven or cat heaven. He thought about how to comfort Wen Hupo and tell her not to worry about the sports meet. He wondered if he should tell Baili to stop practicing cooking.
“I’m going back to my country. I probably won’t be coming back.” After saying these words, Wen Hupo felt as if she had struck herself a heavy blow, abandoning a certain self-important pride. She had thought that telling Lu Li the truth would be like begging for his pity, but now it seemed that it wasn’t such a big deal. She was starting to understand Lu Li. Only by letting go of unnecessary morality and vanity could a person truly soar freely like a bird in the sky.
Lu Li’s hands stopped working, his swirling thoughts freezing.
“What?”
Three seconds later, understanding dawned on him. He suddenly understood why Wen Hupo had been acting so strangely for the past month, why she was so desperate to win at the sports meet, why she held his hand on the roller coaster. Everything made sense now. There was no such thing as love or hate without reason in this world.
“But why?” His voice was a bit loud. “Why so suddenly? It wasn’t like this…” His words were disjointed and illogical. In his past life, Wen Hupo had lived in China for over ten years. If they hadn’t broken up, she might have even grown old here.
Wen Hupo’s deep, unfathomable eyes gazed at Lu Li. “…Will you miss me?”
But she didn’t give him time to answer, quickly adding, “In any case, I’ll be leaving by June at the latest.”
Lu Li was overwhelmed by the suddenness of her departure. He was terrified of losing someone permanently. Ever since Sister Yameng’s death in his past life, Lu Li had been extremely sensitive about this. He didn’t want to lose anyone, no matter the cost.
Seeing Lu Li’s silence, Wen Hupo lowered her eyelids, hiding her emotions. “Lu Li, have I ever told you that my life is actually a failure?”
“…”
“I was born in a small town in the southern United States.” Her voice was unusually gentle. “From the day I was born, I thought I was an ordinary girl from an ordinary family. When I was in elementary school, I once forgot to bring the materials for science class. The teacher said I was stupid. I still remember those words to this day.”
“Since then, I became obsessed with studying. I didn’t want to be called stupid again. I started learning how to appear intelligent, how to think critically. In my spare time, I tried painting. From then on, I never made any friends and never attended any social gatherings. They all called me a nerd.”
“Then one day, my parents called me in and told me that I was the granddaughter of the Amber family. My adoptive father was just the family chauffeur. He adopted me at the behest of a certain gentleman.” She laughed. “Doesn’t it sound like a play from the Renaissance era?”
“When I arrived at the Amber family, I was like a wild animal entering human territory, clueless and lost. I didn’t recognize the car brands, I didn’t understand their conversations, and I didn’t know a single person. When I first arrived at the castle, I was so afraid of getting lost that I didn’t even dare to go to the bathroom alone.” Her voice was tinged with sadness. “I lived a numb and repetitive life, like a walking corpse, not knowing the meaning of my existence. Marriage and children, things ordinary people took for granted, felt as distant as another planet. Lu Li, you must understand how I felt, right?”
Of course, he understood. Lu Li remained silent. Everyone had a moment of awakening in their lives, a moment when they realized the truth of the world, and then they either gave up, conformed, or struggled until they were consumed. He had similar thoughts, but he met An Baili, someone who gave meaning to his life.
“For me, this time in China has actually been the happiest time of my life.” The ordinary days that were mundane to others were Wen Hupo’s rare moments of joy. It was difficult to imagine what kind of life she lived on the other side of the ocean. “I wanted to experience a brief and perhaps false life as a normal girl in these last two months. To fall in love with someone I connect with, to participate in a sports meet, to win a trophy, to have a grand farewell dinner with friends, to raise a cat, and then to wave goodbye gracefully.”
But unfortunately, none of those wishes came true. Lu Li lowered his head. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize, you’ve been good enough to me.” Wen Hupo shook her head.
She continued putting up the posters. “Help me one last time, find Miss Lu, okay?”
“We’ll definitely find her.” Lu Li didn’t say that Miss Lu might already be dead. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” If Wen Hupo had told him earlier, he would have done everything he could to help her.
“That would be like holding you hostage.” Wen Hupo didn’t even turn her head. “You shouldn’t have to pay the price for my dreams. Besides, you’re already the boyfriend of two wonderful girls, aren’t you?”
Lu Li’s chest tightened. He felt a knot of emotions he couldn’t untangle.
Before they knew it, they had put up all the posters, and the paste in the bucket had dried up.
“Lu Li, I’m not telling you this to gain your sympathy.” She carried the bucket and walked ahead, not looking back, leaving only a cascade of golden hair in the boy’s sight. “I just wanted to let you know, just to tell you.”
The sun slowly set, the orange glow of dusk bathing the ground, the utility poles, and the “Lost Cat” posters on the walls.
Lu Li didn’t know how to respond. His heart was in turmoil. He rarely felt this conflicted anymore. In the end, he could only say dryly, “Don’t worry, Miss Lu will definitely come back.”
“…” Wen Hupo paused. “Yes.”
Lu Li looked towards the end of the road, the warm glow of dusk like a lotus flower blooming in the distance. He wished that the little cat with mottled fur would appear right now, so he could pick it up and say to Wen Hupo with his usual smile, “See, I told you she would come back.”
But he didn’t see the kitten, not even after he left the neighborhood.
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