Chapter 118: Resentment
You Ruxu looked at Zhou Tianzui, who was trying to maintain a casual demeanor, saying, “My stomach’s not feeling well, I…”
Before she could finish, You Ruxu buried her face in Zhou Tianzui’s embrace. Zhou Tianzui froze, speechless. She asked, “What are you doing?”
“Hugging you.” You Ruxu said, “I want to hug you.”
She asked, “Are you also hurting?”
Zhou Tianzui’s voice was tight, “No.”
“I am.” You Ruxu’s usual reserved nature, her ability to initiate physical contact and verbalize her emotions, was unusual, forcing Zhou Tianzui to drop her pretense, “Why did you lie to me?”
Zhou Tianzui asked, “Lie about what?”
“Would lying make you feel better?” You Ruxu said, “Do you really want to break up with me?”
Zhou Tianzui hesitated.
You Ruxu continued, “You said we should try again,” looking up at Zhou Tianzui, “We haven’t even tried, and you’re already giving up on me?”
Her eyes were red-rimmed, tears threatening to spill, but she didn’t cry, her lips pressed together in a stubborn line.
Zhou Tianzui closed her eyes.
She wanted to hug You Ruxu back, but she couldn’t lift her arms.
You Ruxu said, “Your mother hates me, I know, she’s very angry, I also know, I can accept it, I can wait.”
Zhou Tianzui said, “What if, it takes a long time?”
“I can wait, even a year, ten years.” You Ruxu looked at her, her eyes filled with determination, “As long as you don’t break up with me, I can wait.”
Zhou Tianzui was torn.
She looked at You Ruxu, then thinking of Yu Qiao, the pain was a gaping wound, tearing her apart, paralyzing her. She was drawn to You Ruxu’s gentle promise, clinging to the sliver of hope for a future together, but she also couldn’t bear to see Yu Qiao suffer.
Would her mother ever let go?
Perhaps A Ran was right.
They could try again, try again…
Zhou Tianzui slowly raised her arms, wrapped them around You Ruxu’s waist, and buried her face in You Ruxu’s shoulder, holding her tightly.
They were gone for quite a while. Song Chenyue said, “Should we go check on them?”
Yao Zhao said, “Check on what? Just eat.”
She had a vague understanding of their relationship now. They were closer than ordinary friends, perhaps because of You Ruxu’s earlier distress, or maybe they were discussing something important.
As Yao Zhao had guessed, they returned together, You Ruxu’s expression much calmer now. They didn’t eat much, just finished their milk tea. Song Chenyue asked, “Want another one?”
You Ruxu shook her head, “No, thank you.”
Song Chenyue smiled. They enjoyed their meal, especially knowing that Yao Zhao was doing well, her grades improving. Before they left, Zhou Tianzui offered to take Yao Zhao shopping for clothes, and Yao Zhao said, “Thank you, Dr. Zhou, but I’ve already bought some.”
Zhou Tianzui looked at her.
Yao Zhao added, “By the way, Dr. Zhou, we saw Auntie earlier, while we were having dinner.”
You Ruxu’s pupils constricted, she looked at Yao Zhao. Zhou Tianzui asked, “My mom?”
Yao Zhao nodded, “Yes, she was eating at the restaurant across the street, with someone.”
Zhou Tianzui smiled faintly and looked at You Ruxu, noticing her pale face, she swallowed the words on the tip of her tongue, and Yao Zhao said, “Then Sister, we should be going.”
You Ruxu waved goodbye. The two girls, hand in hand, left, their laughter echoing behind them.
At the intersection, You Ruxu looked at Zhou Tianzui.
Zhou Tianzui said, “Should I drive you home?”
You Ruxu said, “You should go home first, your mother might need you.”
Having dinner at a restaurant on New Year’s Eve, she must have had a reason. Zhou Tianzui paused and said, “Okay.”
You Ruxu, watching her turn to leave, “I’ll message you when I get home.”
Would she reply this time?
Zhou Tianzui said, “Okay.”
You Ruxu’s heart felt lighter, a faint smile appearing on her face, the setting sun casting a warm glow on her profile, the smile a little fragile. Zhou Tianzui watched her quietly, and after a few minutes, they parted ways.
Zhou Tianzui arrived home. Yu Qiao was still sitting on the sofa. Hearing her enter, she turned and said, “You’re back.”
She knew Zhou Tianzui had been invited to dinner. No one had mentioned You Ruxu’s name at home all week, as if she had been completely erased from their lives, so Yu Qiao, receiving a call from Wu Xiulian earlier, had been surprised.
Even more surprised to hear about the work journal.
Her hands were burning, thinking about Wu Xiulian’s words, she was still furious. Zhou Tianzui, seeing her expression, asked, “What’s wrong?”
Yu Qiao didn’t want to mention You Ruxu, “Nothing, have you eaten yet?”
“I have.” Zhou Tianzui said, “What about you?”
Yu Qiao hadn’t eaten anything, but she wasn’t hungry, so she nodded.
Zhou Tianzui asked, “What did you eat?”
Yu Qiao said, “Just something simple.”
She stood up and went to the kitchen. Zhou Tianzui sat on the sofa, listening to the clattering of dishes. It was New Year’s Eve, dinner preparations started early, the sounds of fireworks and firecrackers outside incessant, the festive atmosphere intensifying. A neighbor knocked on the door, chatting, bringing over some food. Yu Qiao greeted them with a smile, and they mentioned Zhou Tianzui, “She’s not young anymore, is she? Thirty already?”
“Yes, she’s not young anymore.”
“Time to find a partner.”
“Indeed, I heard that it’s harder to recover after giving birth at an older age.” The neighbor said to Yu Qiao, “And you’re still able to help with childcare now, but you won’t be able to in a few years.”
Yu Qiao looked at Zhou Tianzui.
Zhou Tianzui sat on the sofa, listening to their chatter, then looked up at Yu Qiao, their eyes meeting, “I can’t reason with that child, let her be, it’s her own life, whether she gets married or not.”
“How can you just let her be? She’s enjoying her single life now, but what about when she’s old? We’ve been through it, we should guide her, how about I introduce my nephew to Xiao Tian?”
Yu Qiao said, “You ask Xiao Tian yourself.”
The neighbor looked at Zhou Tianzui, about to speak, when Zhou Tianzui said coldly, “Auntie Zhao, I’m not planning to get married.”
Auntie Zhao, her enthusiasm dampened by Zhou Tianzui’s tone, chuckled awkwardly and exchanged a look with the other neighbor. Yu Qiao said, “Have some sunflower seeds.”
“I left the stove on at home.” Auntie Zhao said, “I have to go back.”
The other neighbor said, “I have to go take care of my granddaughter, I’ll be going now.”
The previously lively living room was suddenly quiet again. Yu Qiao turned to Zhou Tianzui, “What was that about?”
Zhou Tianzui said, “Mom, I was just being honest.”
“Honest?” Yu Qiao said, “Giving me attitude again, is that it?” She abruptly stood up, “Or are you still thinking about that woman? Let me tell you, not a chance!”
Zhou Tianzui looked up at Yu Qiao.
Yu Qiao, furious, clearly not open to discussion. Zhou Tianzui, after a moment of silence, said, “I’m going to my room.”
Just as she finished speaking, her phone vibrated. Yu Qiao stared at her, Zhou Tianzui’s expression calm. Yu Qiao asked, “Who is it?”
Zhou Tianzui said, “A colleague.”
Yu Qiao said, “Show me.”
Zhou Tianzui said, “Mom…”
“Show me!” Yu Qiao yelled, reaching for the phone. Zhou Tianzui held onto it. They struggled briefly. Yu Qiao, unable to snatch it, her eyes red with anger, asked, “Is it You Ruxu?”
It had been a week since Yu Qiao last uttered that name, Zhou Tianzui was momentarily dazed.
Yu Qiao, in a frenzy, tried to grab the phone. Zhou Tianzui stumbled back, hitting the sofa and falling onto it. Yu Qiao stood there, looking down at her, “Mom, please don’t do this.”
“Do what?” Yu Qiao’s voice was cold, “Like you? Disobeying me behind my back?”
Zhou Tianzui said, “A lot has happened recently, I think we should wait until we’ve calmed down before discussing the future.”
Yu Qiao scoffed, “Discuss what future? Trying to convince me to accept you and You Ruxu?”
Zhou Tianzui said, “I know you won’t accept it now.”
“And I won’t accept it in the future either.” Yu Qiao said, “What else do you want to say? Are you going to defend her? Tell me how sorry she is, how she’s always wanted to return your father’s journal?”
Zhou Tianzui’s expression changed slightly, “You know about that?”
Yu Qiao said, “Of course I know, and if you’re trying to use this to excuse her actions, it won’t work.”
“Mom, I’m not trying to excuse her actions.” Zhou Tianzui said, “I just want to say that she’s also made an effort, she hasn’t been happy all these years, she’s always felt guilty, just give her a chance to make amends…”
“Make amends how?” Yu Qiao said, “By being with you? By taking care of me in my old age?”
She chuckled, a bitter sound, “Xiao Tian, do you know what you’re saying?”
Zhou Tianzui said, “I do.”
“You don’t know anything!” Yu Qiao glared at her fiercely, “Do you love her that much? If I went to the TV station now, reported her for abusing her position to seduce you, for being in a relationship with you, for your shameful affair, do you think she would lose her job?”
Zhou Tianzui’s face paled, “Mom?”
She looked at Yu Qiao.
Yu Qiao continued, “Do I seem like a stranger to you now? Xiao Tian, do you think I’m a stranger? Am I the one standing in the way of your happiness? A cruel and unreasonable mother, am I?”
She said, “Xiao Tian, if I really did that, would you hate me?”
Zhou Tianzui looked at her, silent.
Yu Qiao said, “You think I’m making things up, slandering her, don’t you?”
Zhou Tianzui said, “Mom, we don’t have to do this.”
“No need for this?” Yu Qiao said, “Is it because it’s You Ruxu? If it weren’t her, would you still forgive me?”
Zhou Tianzui didn’t answer, the memories of those agonizing years, the struggles, the pain, a roaring torrent threatening to consume her, her heart pierced by invisible blades, a numb, suffocating ache.
Her body was tense. Yu Qiao looked down at her and asked, “Xiao Tian, just tell me, if I reported her, would you hate me? If I contacted her father and told him who Shi Ran is, would you resent me?”
Yu Qiao continued, “You would, you would hate me, you would resent me.”
Zhou Tianzui looked up at Yu Qiao.
A firework exploded outside, illuminating Yu Qiao’s face, thin and pale, her expression grim, her voice soft and distant, “Xiao Tian, you see, if I really did that, you would even resent your own mother.”
She looked out the window, her voice devoid of its usual hysteria, yet filled with a deep sorrow, “How can I forgive her?”
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