Chapter 59: Moth
Lunch was enjoyable, especially for Yu Qiao. Even Zhou Tianzui commented, “Mom, are you this happy about gaining a daughter?”
Yu Qiao said with a smile, “Of course I’m happy, I’m happy you have such a good friend. If I’m gone one day, you two can look after each other.”
She wanted to have some alcohol, but Zhou Tianzui stopped her. You Ruxu said, “I’ll have a little with you, Auntie.”
She poured a small amount for Yu Qiao and half a glass for herself. Yu Qiao said to Zhou Tianzui, “Xiao Xu is so much more thoughtful than you.”
Then, looking at You Ruxu, she said, “Auntie didn’t mean…”
Zhou Tianzui chuckled, “What ‘Auntie’? Mom, do you want a red envelope for changing your title too?”
Yu Qiao paused and laughed, “Xiao Xu, that’s not what your godmother meant.”
Afraid You Ruxu might think she only adopted her as a goddaughter so she would take care of Zhou Tianzui, Yu Qiao explained, “Your godmother means, neither of you want to get married, so it’s good that you have each other to rely on in the future.”
She seemed to be thinking of the past, her tone subdued, “It’s my fault for not raising Xiao Tian properly.”
Zhou Tianzui frowned: “Mom.”
You Ruxu said, “Godmother, we’ll take care of each other.” She looked at Yu Qiao, “I’ll also take care of you.”
She looked at Zhou Tianzui.
Grateful for this new identity, which allowed her to be closer to Yu Qiao, to care for her. You Ruxu was also in a good mood today, a heavy burden lifted from her shoulders. The alcohol made her feel slightly lightheaded.
Zhou Tianzui wanted to interject, but seeing the two chatting, it seemed unnecessary. She lowered her head and ate. She saw Yu Qiao reach out and hold You Ruxu’s hand. It was the first time she had done so, and she seemed a little awkward, glancing at You Ruxu’s face. Seeing that You Ruxu didn’t pull away, even smiling at her, Yu Qiao relaxed, her grip on You Ruxu’s hand tightening, and said, “I don’t need you to take care of me, I can take care of myself. You should take care of yourselves. I heard from Xiao Tian that your job is quite dangerous.”
You Ruxu, looking at their joined hands, was momentarily dazed.
Yu Qiao continued, “Yes, being a reporter is always dangerous. Xiao Tian’s father, he once reported on a company’s tax evasion, and our family was harassed constantly. We were terrified every time we left the house. I didn’t even dare take Xiao Tian outside. Later, her father was hospitalized.”
“He was hospitalized for two weeks.”
“A large wound on his chest.”
“He was so foolish, working himself to death.”
“He even wanted to resign after seeing how scared we were.”
Yu Qiao said, “Am I rambling?”
These words had probably been bottled up for years, so now, finding someone to talk to, she couldn’t stop. You Ruxu shook her head: “No, you’re not.”
Yu Qiao said, “So, your godmother hopes you’ll take care of yourself, your job is very dangerous.”
You Ruxu nodded, “I understand.”
Yu Qiao served You Ruxu some food. Zhou Tianzui listened to their conversation and, after finishing her meal, said, as they were about to clear the table, “Let’s sit in the living room for a bit.”
You Ruxu helped Yu Qiao to the sofa. Yu Qiao said she wanted to take a nap, so You Ruxu helped her to her room.
The wallpaper in Yu Qiao’s room was milky white. A wedding photo hung above the bed. The man was wearing a suit, kneeling on the grass, holding a ring, proposing. Yu Qiao looked very young, judging by the photo, they were both young.
Yu Qiao, seeing her looking at the photo, said, “Xiao Tian doesn’t look like her father at all.”
“Her father insisted on marrying me right after graduation.”
“She still doesn’t have a partner.”
You Ruxu was silent.
Yu Qiao sat on the edge of the bed. You Ruxu helped her settle down, noticing several notebooks and a photo album on the bedside table. The album was open, a photo inside torn and then repaired, the tear marks still visible. Yu Qiao, slightly embarrassed, put away the items. You Ruxu asked, “Is this a work journal?”
“Yes.” Yu Qiao said softly, “It was her father’s.”
It was clear that Yu Qiao often looked at it. Some of the pages were yellowed and worn from being turned so many times. She put it away in the cabinet. You Ruxu’s gaze lingered on the notebooks, her throat tightening, her emotions turbulent.
She clenched her hands and said, “Godmother, I’ll leave you to rest now.”
Yu Qiao said, “Okay, if you’re sleepy, you can take a nap in Xiao Tian’s room.”
You Ruxu nodded, “Mm-hmm.”
She left Yu Qiao’s room and, just as she closed the door, saw Yu Qiao take a journal from the bedside table, holding it in her hands, gently stroking the cover. You Ruxu’s eyes instantly reddened. She closed her eyes and closed the door.
Zhou Tianzui emerged from the kitchen, “Is my mom asleep?”
“Yes.” You Ruxu said, “She said she wanted to take a nap.”
“Let her rest.” Zhou Tianzui asked, “Are you in a hurry to leave?”
You Ruxu looked at her, “Why?”
“If not, take a nap with me.” Zhou Tianzui said seriously. You Ruxu’s earlier emotions dissipated, and she started to say, “I’m not…”
She was pulled into Zhou Tianzui’s room.
You Ruxu saw that the bed was made. Zhou Tianzui had changed the bedding, a milky white flannel set with light red floral patterns, the kind that looked incredibly warm and inviting. You Ruxu swallowed her words, sat on the bed, and touched the soft flannel, incredibly comfortable. She lay down, burying her face in the soft fabric, and closed her eyes contentedly.
Zhou Tianzui stood beside her: “Like it?”
You Ruxu nodded, “I do.”
Zhou Tianzui said, “I bought two sets, I’ll change the one at home too.”
You Ruxu gave a soft “mm-hmm.” Just moments ago, she had said she wasn’t sleepy, but now, smelling the fresh laundry scent, she felt drowsy. Zhou Tianzui sat on the edge of the bed and leaned over, her chest brushing against You Ruxu’s arm. You Ruxu turned her head and saw Zhou Tianzui leaning closer, she pushed her face away, “What are you doing?”
“Nothing.” Zhou Tianzui pulled You Ruxu’s hand away and kissed her gently on the lips.
Her lips were soft, carrying the sweet fragrance of the fruit she had after lunch. Zhou Tianzui kissed her again. You Ruxu said, “I just saw your parents’ wedding photo in your mom’s room.”
Zhou Tianzui also lay down beside You Ruxu, casually saying, “Mm-hmm.”
“They seemed very much in love.”
Zhou Tianzui said, “They met in the dance studio during university.”
You Ruxu was curious: “Dance studio?”
Zhou Tianzui said, “My mom loved dancing.”
She herself had loved drawing. Her father used to say she inherited her mother’s artistic genes. Her mother loved to dance when she was in school, but her family couldn’t afford dance classes, so she taught herself, participating in every school event. Her father had pursued her mother, he didn’t know how to dance, but he learned quickly.
Yu Qiao often said, “Your father was amazing, he could learn anything quickly.”
She had seen some old videos from their university, clips of her parents dancing. You Ruxu nodded and heard Zhou Tianzui say, “They got married right after graduation.”
They were indeed very much in love.
You Ruxu’s voice was soft: “Did they ever fight?”
“They did.” Zhou Tianzui said, “My mom never approved of my dad’s job, she said it was too dangerous, so they argued a lot during that time.”
But her father would always coax her mother back.
A few times, her father bought roses, and when Yu Qiao refused to see him, he would ask Zhou Tianzui to deliver them.
Thinking about those times, Zhou Tianzui’s eyes teared up slightly. You Ruxu turned to her, and after a moment of silence, suddenly said, “I’m sorry.”
Her hand was held. You Ruxu looked down. Zhou Tianzui’s hand was beautiful, slender fingers, distinct knuckles. Perhaps because she always wore gloves, her skin was especially fair. She interlaced her fingers with You Ruxu’s, their hands clasped together.
Zhou Tianzui said, “I never understood my dad, but I believe he didn’t do anything wrong.”
You Ruxu looked at Zhou Tianzui, their eyes meeting. She suddenly buried her face in Zhou Tianzui’s embrace, as if desperately needing a source of comfort, and Zhou Tianzui was that source.
She could only find peace by holding onto something.
Zhou Tianzui said, “Did my mom say something to you?”
“No.” You Ruxu said, “She didn’t say anything.”
Zhou Tianzui said, “Then don’t worry about it, it’s been so many years, I’ll slowly persuade my mom…”
You Ruxu interrupted her, “Zhou Tianzui.”
Zhou Tianzui paused, “Hmm?”
You Ruxu asked, “Do you hate me?”
Zhou Tianzui didn’t answer immediately.
Hate her?
How could she not? If it weren’t for her and her mother, her father wouldn’t have died, wouldn’t have been slandered after his death, her mother wouldn’t have had to live in hiding with her, constantly moving, changing schools.
She had been recognized by a new classmate once, who pointed at her and sneered, “Isn’t she the rapist’s daughter?”
“This school accepts all sorts of people.”
“I’m not staying in the same class as a rapist’s daughter!”
She had been called in for questioning countless times.
Her mother had broken down countless times.
Those scenes were vivid in her memory, replaying every time she closed her eyes, those taunts and ridicule, like a curse, haunting her.
Zhou Tianzui held You Ruxu, silent for a long time.
After a while, she said, “Yes.”
An honest answer.
So honest that You Ruxu’s heart clenched, she loosened her grip on Zhou Tianzui slightly. Zhou Tianzui, feeling this, held her even tighter, “I hated you for many years.”
“I thought if I ever met you, I would take revenge on you without hesitation, make you taste the bitterness of being misunderstood, I imagined countless possibilities.”
With every word, her embrace tightened, as if trying to meld You Ruxu into her own body.
Zhou Tianzui lowered her head, her chin resting on You Ruxu’s shoulder, her warm breath against You Ruxu’s skin, sending shivers down her spine. She closed her eyes and said, “But A Ran, I never imagined another possibility.”
You Ruxu felt suffocated in her embrace, her heart clenched tightly, a raw ache, her nose tingling, her eyes burning. Her voice was choked with emotion, “What possibility?”
Zhou Tianzui said, “Loving you.”
Her confession was frank and straightforward, nothing held back. She said, “A Ran, I never thought I would love you.”
Yet, she did, so deeply.
So deeply that she could forget all the past pain and suffering, so deeply that she would cover her eyes and ears, just wanting to be lost in this tenderness, so deeply that she wanted to—start over with You Ruxu.
You Ruxu’s anxious heart, suspended for so long, finally landed gently. She pulled away slightly, looking closely at Zhou Tianzui’s features, her nose, her lips.
She turned her head, closed her eyes, and kissed Zhou Tianzui softly on the lips.
Zhou Tianzui watched as tears streamed down You Ruxu’s face, her closed eyelids trembling slightly, like a moth, knowing there was fire ahead, yet flying towards it without hesitation.
She was willing to be another moth.
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