Chapter 50: If
You Ruxu eventually went home. Wu Xiulian’s door was tightly shut, not even responding to her knocks. You Ruxu stood at the door for a while, then returned to her room. Her voice was listless, lacking energy, as she called Zhou Tianzui. She had always been obedient, the “child from another family” everyone praised. She had been adopted once before, into a family that wasn’t prepared for a child. After she arrived, their lives were thrown into chaos, the couple constantly arguing, she caught in the middle, listening to their endless complaints. But it was better than before, at least they hadn’t hit her.
Despite this, it was enough to frighten her, to keep her awake at night. She was terrified of being sent away again. In her emotionally barren life, she felt even this was acceptable, even developing the notion that as long as she was obedient, her parents wouldn’t send her away.
But less than half a month later, she was sent away again, to a new home, where her new mother called her Ruxu, as if seeing someone else through her. She knew they had lost a child, a child named You Ruxu.
She liked this name, it was her new name.
You Ruxu.
Her new mother was a teacher, and she would smile at her and say, “Ruxu, come here, Mommy will give you a hug.”
She would run over and embrace her new mother.
It was like a beautiful dream, everything in this home felt like a dream, and she was terrified of waking up, so she was always cautious, always careful. This family also had an aunt, who was also very good to her, taking her out to play, buying her delicious food, buying her things that other children had, giving her beautiful dresses, which she loved, loved very much.
Gradually, she adapted to her new life, like a small animal cautiously extending its paws, expecting to be scolded, but everyone was very tolerant, even her aunt would say, “Xu Xu, this is how you should be, this is good.”
Encouraging her.
They gave her the warmth she had never known.
You Ruxu lay in bed, then hearing a noise next door, she turned over, got up, and opened the door. She saw Wu Xiulian, wearing the clothes she bought yesterday, her makeup done, changing her shoes. You Ruxu called out, “Mom.”
Wu Xiulian looked up, glanced at her, and said, “I’m going out to buy some things, you stay home and rest.”
You Ruxu said, “I’ll go with you.”
Wu Xiulian said, “No need, you’re still not fully recovered, stay home and rest.”
You Ruxu stood there, motionless.
The door opened, then closed, leaving You Ruxu standing alone in the quiet living room. Her hands and feet were cold, her tongue numb, unable to utter a word, just standing there by the door, a familiar feeling of abandonment washing over her. She felt uneasy.
You Ruxu returned to her room, lay on the bed, hugged a pillow, burying her face in it, like clinging to a lifeline, adrift and helpless, desperately searching for something to hold onto, then looking up, seeing her mother’s cold and indifferent expression.
Her grip loosened, and she fell into a cold abyss, icy water engulfing her, her limbs, her head, a suffocating feeling. She curled up. Her phone rang, like a jolt of electricity, coursing through her body, reviving her.
She listened to the ringing for a while before answering the call.
It was Han Shuang.
Han Shuang said cheerfully, “Ruxu, you left your bag at my place, when are you coming to pick it up?”
She had left a bag with Han Shuang earlier, as the equipment was too heavy to carry around. You Ruxu paused and said, “I’ll be right there.”
Han Shuang agreed and hung up. You Ruxu breathed a sigh of relief, changed her clothes, and put on makeup. Her reflection in the mirror looked pale, so she added some highlighter before leaving.
She ran into Wu Xiulian in the elevator.
Wu Xiulian smiled, “Going somewhere? A date?”
You Ruxu said, “Going to pick up my equipment, I left it with Han Shuang.”
Wu Xiulian asked, “Want me to drive you?”
You Ruxu said, “I’ll take a taxi, Aunt, where are you going?”
“Going to have some fun.” Wu Xiulian winked, a playful glint in her eyes. She looked at You Ruxu, “Want to come with your aunt?”
You Ruxu shook her head.
Wu Xiulian said, “Just kidding, if I took you, your mom would scold me again.”
You Ruxu was silent for a moment. Wu Xiulian, looking at her expression, asked, “Your mom still hasn’t talked to you?”
“Not yet.” You Ruxu said, “She’s very angry.”
“It’s okay.” Wu Xiulian reassured her, “She’s just not prepared yet, you have to give her time.”
Not just time to accept her relationship with Zhou Tianzui.
But also to accept that her image of her obedient daughter had been shattered.
You Ruxu nodded. Wu Xiulian put her arm around her and walked out. Although You Ruxu had said she didn’t need a ride, Wu Xiulian, still worried, insisted on driving her, asking curiously, “Xu Xu, how does that Dr. Zhou treat you usually?”
Thinking of Zhou Tianzui, You Ruxu’s expression softened, like the icy peaks of winter starting to thaw. Her voice was gentle, “She’s very good to me.”
Except for her unpredictable moods, her sharp tongue, and her occasional prickly behavior.
And her love for teasing.
You Ruxu felt she was being biased, still thinking Zhou Tianzui was good despite all that. Wu Xiulian, seeing the smile that appeared on You Ruxu’s lips at the mention of Zhou Tianzui’s name, felt relieved, her own mood lifting as she drove. She said, “Turn on some music for me.”
You Ruxu turned on the music, a popular song. Wu Xiulian hummed along, “Xu Xu, with your voice, it’s a pity you don’t sing.”
Indeed, many talent agents had given her their business cards, especially after her first live broadcast in Jindu went viral, many people asking if she was interested in a singing career.
Her voice was too pure, a rare purity.
You Ruxu had refused without hesitation, not interested in such things.
Wu Xiulian said, “Then what are you interested in? Being a reporter?”
She asked You Ruxu, “If you hadn’t become a reporter in Jindu, what would you have done after graduation?”
You Ruxu thought for a moment, “Probably a lawyer.”
Wu Xiulian let out a small “oh”: “I thought you would follow in your father’s footsteps and join the court system.”
You Ruxu said, “I thought about it.”
Wu Xiulian, her hands on the steering wheel, asked, “Did you ever think about becoming a reporter back then?”
You Ruxu pondered the question, then after a few seconds, shook her head: “No.”
Wu Xiulian nodded, smiled, and said, “We’re here.”
You Ruxu looked out the window. They had arrived near the venue. She said goodbye to Wu Xiulian and called Han Shuang, who was inside, at her usual spot. Seeing You Ruxu, she waved, “Ruxu!”
You Ruxu walked over. The summit was still in progress. Just as she entered, she saw Zhou Tianzui turn and look at her.
As if surprised to see her there.
You Ruxu was about to message Zhou Tianzui when her phone buzzed with notifications.
Zhou Tianzui: [Why aren’t you resting at home?]
You Ruxu replied: [Came to pick up my equipment.]
Zhou Tianzui: [I could have brought it to you.]
You Ruxu lowered her eyes.
She could have asked Zhou Tianzui to bring it back, but she wanted some fresh air, being at home felt suffocating.
Zhou Tianzui waited for a while, expecting a smiley emoji. Even though she was worried about You Ruxu’s health, seeing that emoji, she still smiled, her hand covering her mouth to hide her amusement.
You Ruxu sat beside Han Shuang and heard her say, “Ruxu, keep an eye on my things, I’m going to find the boss.”
You Ruxu nodded.
Han Shuang took a document and went to find her boss, who was huddled by the heater, chatting with someone. Seeing Han Shuang approach, she moved her legs aside. Han Shuang handed her the document, grinning, “Boss, sign here.”
The boss signed and heard the person beside her say, “Hey, Han Shuang, you know You Ruxu?”
“Ruxu? She’s my classmate.” Han Shuang said proudly, “Why, you want her contact information too?”
She had become slightly popular in the department recently because of You Ruxu. Although many people had added her to ask for You Ruxu’s contact information, she had refused, and from what she heard, none of them had succeeded in contacting You Ruxu.
The boss, hearing their conversation, said, “You Ruxu?”
Han Shuang pointed towards the entrance, “Over there.”
The boss said, “I know her, I’ve met her before.”
Han Shuang was surprised: “You know her too, boss?”
The boss nodded: “I have a strong impression of her, a very stubborn person. She came to see me when I first became a reporter.”
Han Shuang listened attentively: “And then?”
“She said she sent me a file folder, but I never received it. So she kept pestering me, coming to ask me every weekend if I had found it. She pestered me for over a year.”
Han Shuang asked, “A file folder? What kind of file folder?”
The boss shook her head: “I don’t know.”
You Ruxu hadn’t contacted her since then.
When Han Shuang returned to You Ruxu’s side, she was burning with curiosity, her eyes giving her away. You Ruxu chuckled, “What is it?”
Han Shuang said, “Ruxu, our boss knows you too.”
You Ruxu followed her gaze, her expression faltering slightly, then she nodded.
Han Shuang asked, “What was in that file folder you sent her?”
You Ruxu’s grip on the equipment tightened, her knuckles turning white, at the mention of the file folder. She said, “Nothing much, just some information.”
Han Shuang gave a small “oh” and nodded.
You Ruxu lowered her head to adjust the equipment and heard someone call out, “You Ruxu.”
She looked up. Zhou Tianzui was standing in front of her.
The summit had ended, people streaming out. You Ruxu packed her backpack. Zhou Tianzui took it from her, slung it over her shoulder, and said, “Let’s go.”
You Ruxu said goodbye to Han Shuang and followed Zhou Tianzui out. She asked, “How did you get here?”
You Ruxu said, “My aunt drove me.”
She watched Zhou Tianzui walk ahead, not turning back, and asked, “Where are we going?”
Zhou Tianzui said, “To find a place to sell you.”
Childish.
You Ruxu chuckled and said, “Okay.”
Just “okay.”
Zhou Tianzui glanced at her, her eyes filled with amusement. They returned to the hotel, to Zhou Tianzui’s room. You Ruxu watched as she put down the equipment, turned on the heater, and went to the kitchenette to pour a glass of hot water. You Ruxu sat on the sofa. After Zhou Tianzui finished, she sat beside her and handed her a hand warmer. It was blue, different from the one at the hospital. You Ruxu held it in her hand, “Did you buy this?”
Zhou Tianzui said, “I stole it.”
You Ruxu chuckled, “Can you please be serious?”
Zhou Tianzui nodded, then suddenly hugged her, asking, “What time is dinner at your place?”
You Ruxu said, “Usually around seven.”
Zhou Tianzui said, “Then we can hug like this for another hour and thirty minutes.”
You Ruxu looked at the time; it was five o’clock.
She asked, “Don’t we have only half an hour left?”
Zhou Tianzui said, “To take you home.”
You Ruxu’s heart warmed.
Although they hadn’t talked about her family, Zhou Tianzui knew what she was thinking. The living room was quiet and warm. They didn’t move, Zhou Tianzui leaning slightly against You Ruxu, her chin resting on You Ruxu’s neck, her breath warm against her skin, the warmth seeping into You Ruxu’s bones. She looked down, watching Zhou Tianzui play with her hands, interlacing their fingers, gently pinching the back of her hand, tracing the lines on her palm. You Ruxu couldn’t help but call out, “Zhou Tianzui.”
Zhou Tianzui looked up.
You Ruxu said, “If…”
Zhou Tianzui gently squeezed her hand, silencing her. You Ruxu pursed her lips. Zhou Tianzui spoke, “Don’t say ‘if’.” She leaned closer, her lips almost touching You Ruxu’s neck, her warm breath sending shivers down her spine, You Ruxu could almost feel her tongue tracing the lines of her neck. You Ruxu’s body tensed, hearing Zhou Tianzui whisper, “A Ran, don’t say ‘if’.”
You Ruxu’s heart ached, a raw, open wound, the pain making her look away.
Zhou Tianzui with her thorns hurt her.
Zhou Tianzui without her thorns hurt her even more.
You Ruxu: My heart hurts.
Zhou Tianzui: Let me rub it for you.
You Ruxu: …
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