Chapter 32
The car was stuffy, and the baijiu was making Lin Qianqian dizzy. She was starting to lose consciousness.
Fighting back nausea, she banged on the window, trying to get Lu Yin’s attention.
Seeing her distress, Lu Yin pulled her out of the car and took her to a nearby hotel, getting them a room.
Lin Qianqian threw up in the bathroom, her head spinning. Room service delivered a sobering soup, and Lu Yin helped her rinse her mouth and then fed it to her.
The strong ginger flavor made Lin Qianqian gag.
She sat on the floor, shaking her head, refusing to drink.
Lu Yin held her face and forced the soup down her throat.
Lin Qianqian choked, the brownish liquid spilling down her chin, her appearance pathetic.
Lu Yin didn’t relent until the bowl was empty.
“I’m sticky…” Lin Qianqian tugged at her clothes, wanting to escape the unpleasant sensation. “I want to wash…Sister…”
Receiving no response, she slumped against the floor, sobbing quietly.
She felt truly miserable, but couldn’t bring herself to tell Lu Yin.
She struggled to stand, reaching for Lu Yin, her hand finding Lu Yin’s arm, a small comfort.
She leaned against Lu Yin, needing a word, a single word of acknowledgement.
“I didn’t want to drink…I can take care of myself…” she mumbled, her head against Lu Yin’s arm, seeking warmth. “I sent you my location…I tried to bring you dinner, but you didn’t want it…”
“I didn’t date anyone while I was abroad. I didn’t like anyone. I just wanted to graduate and come back to you…”
She rambled on, about her life abroad, about her fear of losing Lu Yin.
Lu Yin, seeing her still clutching her wine-stained top, helped her stand and led her to the bathroom.
“I don’t want to go…don’t make me go…” Lin Qianqian mumbled, her mind still hazy. “Don’t send me away again…”
She was terrified of being abandoned by Lu Yin.
The unknown was always frightening.
But Lu Yin had already done it once. Lin Qianqian couldn’t rule out the possibility of it happening again.
If she displeased Lu Yin, even slightly, she would be discarded like trash.
“I don’t want to go!” Lin Qianqian pulled away from Lu Yin, shouting. “I don’t want to go!”
Lu Yin’s lips moved, but no words came out. She turned on the shower full blast, the cold water drenching Lin Qianqian.
She pulled Lin Qianqian’s top over her head.
Lin Qianqian’s hair was plastered to her face, dripping water.
“It’s cold…” she shivered, hugging herself, her eyes stinging, blindly reaching for the faucet to adjust the temperature.
Lu Yin swatted her hand away. A bucket of water sat nearby, almost full.
“Ah—” Lin Qianqian screamed as Lu Yin dumped the entire bucket of water over her head, the sound of her scream swallowed by the thud of the bucket hitting the floor.
She stumbled, her feet slipping on the wet floor, and landed on the ground.
Lu Yin didn’t help her, her gaze cold and distant. “Sober now?”
Lin Qianqian ignored the pain in her knees, sobbing uncontrollably.
“What did I do wrong…?”
She didn’t understand Lu Yin’s unpredictable moods, her sudden shifts from affection to coldness.
Why didn’t her usual tactics work anymore?
She didn’t know what to do.
She couldn’t get closer, but she was terrified of being pushed away.
“Why can’t we be like we were before…?”
She didn’t want to grow up.
As a child, Lu Yin had always indulged her. Now, her only sister was distant and unreadable.
Despite the material comforts, she felt further away from Lu Yin than ever.
“I’m hurt…” Lin Qianqian finally acknowledged the pain, her bare arms and legs covered in goosebumps, her body curled up in a protective ball. “Everything hurts…my arms, my legs, my head…”
She lay on the floor, her tears mixing with the water.
Lu Yin didn’t want to argue with a drunk person. She had never seen Lin Qianqian like this before.
The thought of Lin Qianqian in this state, alone and vulnerable, filled her with anger.
“It really hurts…” Lin Qianqian whimpered, her body suddenly feeling hot.
Lu Yin finally relented, kneeling beside her. “Where does it hurt?”
She gently massaged Lin Qianqian’s bruised knees and lifted her from the floor.
Lin Qianqian sobbed, grabbing Lu Yin’s hand and placing it on her chest. “Here…it hurts the most…”
Lu Yin carried her to the bed, dried her with a towel, and tucked her in.
Lin Qianqian lay there, motionless, for ten minutes, her breathing gradually returning to normal.
“I feel awful…” she coughed, trying to pull the duvet tighter, but her arms were weak. Lu Yin adjusted the blanket.
“I feel awful…” Lin Qianqian repeated, looking up at Lu Yin, seeking her gaze.
“You deserve to feel awful,” Lu Yin said coldly. “You reek of alcohol.”
Lin Qianqian’s mind was still clouded, her ears filtering out Lu Yin’s words, only registering the disapproval in her tone.
“I didn’t mean to…” she mumbled, her voice weak and slurred.
Lu Yin brushed the hair from her face, and as she pulled her hand away, Lin Qianqian grabbed it.
She held Lu Yin’s hand tightly, pressing her cheek against it.
“Sister, don’t ignore me…”
“I’m not ignoring you,” Lu Yin said, her voice softening slightly. “You need to learn your lesson.”
“Can I go home and sleep?” Lin Qianqian asked, looking around the unfamiliar room. “I don’t want to sleep here.”
She felt unsafe, wanting to be home, in Lu Yin’s arms.
“Just sleep here. It’s a half-hour drive home. You’ll only feel worse,” Lu Yin said, placing a pillow under her head.
Lin Qianqian moved to the edge of the bed. Lu Yin, thinking she was about to throw up again, reached for something to help her, but Lin Qianqian rested her head on Lu Yin’s arm instead.
Her eyes were still red and puffy from crying.
Seeing Lu Yin didn’t stop her, she pushed her luck, wrapping her arms around Lu Yin’s waist, her weight pressing against Lu Yin’s body. “Sister, stay with me.”
Lu Yin tried to pull away, but Lin Qianqian’s grip was tight.
She sighed and lay down beside her.
Lin Qianqian tugged at Lu Yin’s clothes. “Take these off.”
Lu Yin knew she was still drunk, but she was too tired to argue.
Their “fights” always ended one of two ways: either Lin Qianqian submitted, or Lu Yin gave up, exhausted.
Lu Yin removed her clothes. Lin Qianqian, finally satisfied, snuggled closer, her body molding against Lu Yin’s.
Their skin warmed against each other, Lin Qianqian’s breathing evening out.
“Sister, do you still like me…?” she asked, then corrected herself. “Have you ever liked me…?”
She didn’t just want to know how Lu Yin felt now, but how she had felt in the past.
“I don’t want to talk about this now,” Lu Yin said.
Drunk words were never true.
And even if they were, she wouldn’t believe them. She was afraid Lin Qianqian would change her mind, retract her confession.
She couldn’t decide which of them was more foolish.
“What do you mean ‘now’?” Lin Qianqian asked stubbornly. “And what is it you don’t want to talk about?”
For a moment, Lu Yin almost laughed.
Perhaps Lin Qianqian was the cause of her insomnia, not just her own demons.
“People change,” Lu Yin said softly, more to herself than to Lin Qianqian.
“I haven’t changed. I still love you,” Lin Qianqian mumbled, her face buried in Lu Yin’s chest. “I wish you felt the same way.”
Lu Yin’s warmth lulled her to sleep. Her question had been more of a reflex than a genuine inquiry.
The next morning, Lu Yin woke up to a burning sensation against her chest. Lin Qianqian’s forehead was hot.
She took Lin Qianqian’s temperature. 38.9 degrees Celsius. Almost 102 Fahrenheit.
“Sister…” Lin Qianqian mumbled, her voice hoarse.
“Wake up. We’re going to the hospital.”
“Okay…”
Lu Yin retrieved Lin Qianqian’s clothes from the dryer, but Lin Qianqian didn’t move.
She pulled her out of bed, helped her dress, gently coaxing her to raise her arms, her legs.
Then she knelt down and put on her socks and shoes.
She carried Lin Qianqian on her back, her steps slow and steady.
“Sister…” Lin Qianqian mumbled, her arms around Lu Yin’s neck, her head heavy against Lu Yin’s back.
“You have a fever. Stay awake,” Lu Yin said, feeling the heat radiating from Lin Qianqian’s body.
“I want to go home…” Lin Qianqian whimpered. “I want to go home…”
“We’re going home,” Lu Yin said. “We’re almost there.”
“But this isn’t the way home,” Lin Qianqian said weakly, her voice filled with childish petulance.
She didn’t open her eyes, her face buried in Lu Yin’s neck.
“I told you, you’re sick. We’ll go to the hospital, and then we’ll go home.”
“No…” Lin Qianqian coughed. “You’re the one who’s sick.”
Lu Yin, used to indulging her, finally gave in.
“Okay, I’m sick.”
Lin Qianqian giggled, then coughed again, a harsh, hacking sound.
“I wish you could carry me like this forever,” she murmured.
“In your dreams.”
“I can dream, can’t I?” Lin Qianqian said, her fever not dampening her playful spirit. “I’m not just going to dream it. I’m going to make it happen. I’ll cling to you forever, even in the afterlife.”
Lu Yin chuckled. “Don’t disappoint me then.”
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