Chapter 9: Mei Jinliu’s Diary
“Woof! Woof!”
“Woof! Woof!”
Lu Li was awakened by Zhaocai’s barking. The sunlight streamed in through the window, casting a golden glow on the floor. Tiny dust particles danced in the light. The worst thing about this old house wasn’t the little toads jumping onto his bed in the middle of the night, but the pungent smell of dust from unknown origins.
Lu Li sat up abruptly, realizing he was back in Village Head Gong’s old house. He gasped, the memories of what had just happened fading rapidly like a dream. He quickly took out his phone and jotted down the key information: “Old Mei residence, under the chair.” “Don’t fail An Baili.” “Not a dream!”
By the time he typed the last exclamation mark, the memory of that bizarre and convoluted dream had become blurred.
When Lu Li opened the door, he saw Village Head Gong playing with Zhaocai. He was teasing the dog with a piece of meat on his cane, dangling it in front of Zhaocai but not letting it eat it, making the dog jump and bark excitedly. He noticed that Lu Li had already packed his backpack and asked, “Are you leaving?”
“Yes, thank you for your hospitality.” Lu Li took out a hundred-yuan bill, but Village Head Gong waved his hand dismissively. “My Zhaocai doesn’t care for this kind of thing. Keep it for yourself.” Zhaocai also jumped playfully, as if in agreement, showing its intelligence.
He watched as Lu Li left, the piece of meat on his cane now snatched by Zhaocai. The old man put one hand behind his back and slowly walked back into the house. “Zhaocai, tomorrow is finally coming.” He walked to the yellowing calendar, staring at the bright red number 11, his eyes unfocused. He seemed to be lost in memory, or perhaps it was just tears caused by old age.
Village Head Gong hesitated for a long time, then finally tore off the page.
“I can finally have a good night’s sleep tonight.”
Pushing aside the overgrown weeds, he could vaguely see the remnants of a path. A frequently used path was called a road. If it wasn’t used often, it would naturally disappear. Lu Li didn’t know how many years it had been since this path had been trod upon by human feet, nor how long it took for the weeds to grow half a man’s height. The closer he got to the old Mei residence, the more desolate the surroundings became. All he saw were dilapidated houses, dried-up wells covered in moss, and damp piles of firewood… So far, he still hadn’t seen another living soul.
He checked his phone. The signal was intermittent. His chat with Chu Jingyi was still stuck at her “Good morning~” message. He wondered if An Baili was awake yet. For some reason, he missed her terribly right now. He decided to take her to an aquarium with white dolphins when he got back.
He continued walking, climbed over a small hill, and saw a cluster of earthen mounds surrounding a building in the center – that was the old Mei residence. The mounds were as high as an adult’s waist, making the tombstones with names carved on them look tiny in comparison. One tombstone stood out: “Tomb of my wife, Mei Jinliu.” Lu Li guessed it was An Gulai who erected the tombstone. He was a devoted man after all, allowing Mei Jinliu to return to her roots even after being deceived by her.
Lu Li picked a handful of wildflowers and placed them in front of Mei Jinliu’s tomb. “If you still have a conscience, please bless my Baili with health and safety.”
A cold wind blew, as if Mei Jinliu was responding, or perhaps it was just nature’s indifferent sigh.
Tearing through the spiderwebs blocking his path, Lu Li entered the old house that had been deserted for ten years. He walked into the main hall and saw a plaque on the side: “Rebuilt by Mei Xiuzheng in Chengxiaqiao Town, 1892. In commemoration.” He walked further inside and reached the master bedroom. A moldy wooden bed lay in the center of the room.
Just then, Lu Li heard faint footsteps coming from deep within the house. But when he listened closely, the sound disappeared. It wasn’t a normal footstep. The sound was slow and hesitant, like a crippled person dragging their leg, inching forward.
Was there someone living in this house?
Lu Li didn’t make a sound. He quietly and cautiously returned to the main hall, searching for the hiding place Mei Jinliu had mentioned, based on his fading memories. Soon, he noticed a floor tile that was three shades lighter than the others. He used a rusty iron rod to pry it open and, as expected, saw a square box hidden underneath.
The noise he made was a bit loud. Whatever was deep inside the house seemed to be startled. The dragging footsteps returned, intermittent and faint.
Lu Li remembered being chased by unknown creatures when he first entered Shanzhu Village. He grabbed the box and quickly left, not wanting to investigate any further.
After leaving the old Mei residence, Lu Li found an open space under the bright sunlight and started reading Mei Jinliu’s diary. He opened the diary, its cover crawling with aphids, and the first sentence made him frown:
“You were wrong.”
Wrong? Where was he wrong?
“I thought the price I had to pay was simply death, as you said.” Mei Jinliu’s diary had no dates. She only wrote a little on each page, as if it wasn’t written all at once. “If it were just death, it wouldn’t be so hard to accept. As long as I could leave behind offspring, death wouldn’t be so terrifying.”
Indeed. Humans’ desire for offspring stemmed from their yearning for immortality. As long as their genes were passed on, it meant they could live forever, a part of them would always exist in this world.
“But I discovered that I couldn’t get pregnant.” These words made Lu Li’s eyes widen. Mei Jinliu said she couldn’t get pregnant? Then how was An Baili born?
“At first, I thought you were lying to me, that in the future, I didn’t have any descendants, no daughter named An Baili. That it was all just a lie.”
“But I gradually realized the crux of the problem. An Gulai and I… and another person, we all went to the hospital for checkups. The doctor said we were all healthy and should be able to have a healthy baby.”
“There’s only one explanation for this contradiction between fact and logic: the price I had to pay wasn’t death, but the inability to have children.”
“I can accept death, but I can’t accept that my child would be buried in the darkness of the unborn because of me.”
It seemed like all the members of the Mei family were like this, stubborn and unyielding to their core. Before being swept away by the flood, Mei Xiuzheng reached out for his daughter even as his body was being torn apart by the current. An Baili, when she lost Lu Li, was willing to commit suicide, willing to die for love. And Mei Jinliu, sharing the same bloodline? Would she be someone who just accepted her fate passively?
“So I started trying to rewrite the price.”
After this sentence, there were many blank pages, as if Mei Jinliu hadn’t written anything for a long time.
Halfway through the diary, Mei Jinliu’s handwriting reappeared:
“I’m sorry, I tried many methods. Perhaps I caused some irreversible consequences.”
What did she mean? What were these irreversible consequences?
“I discovered that the price is conserved. It doesn’t appear or disappear out of thin air. It just transfers from one end to the other, transforming from one form to another.”
“I conducted an experiment in Shanzhu Village for my own selfish desires. Please forgive me.”
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